Day 1642: Self Centered

Welcome to another self centered post here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.

SELF

Notice how self centered this post is already?

Yesterday, I told  people in therapy sessions not to judge themselves for being self centered.  How could we not be self centered? If we don’t put ourselves in the center of our own lives, who will?

I, myself, constantly witness people judging themselves very harshly for being self centered, labeling themselves too selfish, too self-absorbed and even narcissistic.  This is what I tell those selves:

“If you worry about being a narcissist, you’re not.”

I know my self well enough to know I’m not  a narcissist, even though I’ve stopped worrying about that.

Here are some self centered photos from yesterday:

 

Michael himself centered that delicious food on a plate for me last night after my self-centered therapy group.

Here’s some Self Centered Blues:

 

This self is looking forward to some self centered comments, below.

Thanks to all the selves who helped my self create another self centered post and to you — of course! — for being your self.

 

Day 1641: Plans

Yesterday, my plans included closing on our new home by the sea, so I was glad to see this at the Dedham Registry of Deeds:

The Dedham Registry of Deeds has been used for important plans before.

I got the key to our new home, which was more colorful than planned.

Even though I had no plans to do so, I then decided to pick up my boyfriend Michael at the dentist. On my drive there, I remembered that fellow blogger Val Boyko (whose excellent blog is part of my daily plans) had plans to spend the day in Boston.

I thought Robert Burns, who was Scottish like Val, had written

The best laid plans of mice and men often gang aglay

but he really wrote

The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men

Gang aft a-gley

so my plans to use a Robbie Burns quote to introduce photos of our time yesterday with Val gang aft a-gley.

 

If I’d planned it, I couldn’t have had a lovelier time meeting Val.

My plans for the evening included celebrating the house closing with Michael and my son Aaron at our favorite Chinese Restaurant.  Our fortunes there exceeded my wildest plans.

That last fortune was Michael’s.  I wonder who that person is and how that will affect our plans.

As usual, I have plans to share music in this blog.

I hope your plans include leaving a comment below.

Thanks to Val, Michael, Aaron, Birds of Tokyo, everyone else who helped me plan this post and — of course! — to you, for including this blog in your plans today.

Day 1640: Personal medicine, again

Because this blog is personal medicine for me, I’ve been publishing daily posts since January 1, 2013.  During that time, I’ve personally blogged twice before about personal medicine (here and here).

Yesterday, in a therapy group, it was personal medicine for all of us to share our personal medicine.

Notice that the first item on my list of personal medicine is my sister. That’s because Ellen had texted me during the group that she was in the building where I work. After the group, I had the personal medicine of hanging out with Ellen in the lobby of the hospital. She showed me a graph she had created about how Perceivers perform tasks.

Ellen showed me the personal medicine of that chart because, in Myers-Briggs lingo, I’m a perceiver and she’s a judger. I was initially interested and excited, then I got diverted by other priorities.

One of my other priorities yesterday was to go on a walk-through — with my boyfriend Michael, our realtor Jane, and the current owner —  of our very-soon-to-be-new home near the ocean.

 

It’s personal medicine for me to look at that last photo. Imagine the personal medicine of living there, after the closing today.

When Michael and I got back to our soon-to-be-not home last night, we found a note from my son Aaron. Michael did his own personal medicine of  writing back on the note.

Did you see that music is also on my list of personal medicine, above?

I hope you know your comments are also personal medicine for me. Please share your personal medicine, below.

Personal thanks to all who helped me create another personal-medicine post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1639: Money, money, money, money

Money, money, money, money has been on my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind.

Money has been on my mind, more than usual, because of

• selling AND buying homes this month,
• getting estimates about remodeling our new home,
• awareness of how much money affects people’s mental health, and
• the focus on money in the media.

Yesterday morning, Fabricio helped me with important money, money, money, money transactions at my bank.

Fabricio’s smile, warmth, helpfulness, and support are money, money, money, money to me.

Any money, money, money, money in my other photos from yesterday?

The money, money, money, money we’ll spend on remodeling our new home will help Michael keep making meals like that one.  We can’t decide how much $$$$ that’s worth, but we’ll figure it out.

Comments, comments, comments, comments are money, money, money, money to me. And so is gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.   Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks to all who helped me create today’s money post and to you, you, you, you — of course! — for all you’re worth.

Day 1638: We accept

Do we accept that I saw this yesterday?

Do we accept that seeing that worn-down sign  got me thinking about what we accept?

Should we accept everything?  Do we accept injustice, cruelty, and other unacceptable things?

I believe that radical acceptance — recognizing and accepting completely the realities of the moment — is necessary before we can move toward change and improvements.

Do we accept that?

Do you accept my other photos from yesterday?

I make a wish that we have the  serenity to accept the things we cannot change,  the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Can we accept that I just quoted the serenity prayer?

Should we accept this Airbnb commercial called “We Accept” which aired during the 2017 USA Super Bowl Game?

 

As always, we accept comments at this blog.

Please accept my thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for your kind acceptance.

 

Day 1637: I’ll buy that

Writing yesterday’s blog post inspired me to buy that ticket to see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt perform at Boston’s Fenway Park in August. Even though I’ve said, “I’ll buy that!” about lots of concert tickets and many Bonnie Raitt albums and James Taylor CDs, I’ve never seen either of them in person. 

I can’t wait to see them.  Do you buy that?

Do you buy that my boyfriend Michael said, “I’ll buy that!” about one of the items  shown in these pictures?

What do you think Michael bought? Buy the way, I took something away from the yard sale, too.   If you buy into guessing what Michael bought and what I chose,  I’ll provide the answers, by and buy.

Because we recently said, “I’ll buy that!” to a home by the ocean,  we’ll be moving those two things and other things we’ve bought, very soon.

Do you buy that my ex-husband said this to me yesterday?

You’re scary when you’re angry.

I found that difficult to buy, because I never see myself as scary, even when I’m angry. Maybe that’s because I’m a 5’3″ 64-year-old woman without weapons. Do you buy that I LIKED being seen as scary by my ex, who is very big and strong? Do you buy that we both shook hands soon after he said that?

Do you buy that searching YouTube for “I’ll buy that” gets you some “Ocean Front Property” by George Strait?

Do you buy this Fenway Park performance by James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt from two years ago?

I’m now ready for the thing called  comments.

Are you ready to buy my gratitude? Thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for buying it.

Day 1636: Like to shine

I like to shine. Do you?  

Like to shine a light on these lyrics, shining through my head:

Like to shine like the sun for one more summer day.

Like to shine like a lighthouse for one last summer night.

Like to shine a guess about what song that is?

Before I shine a light on the answer, like to shine like a camera for some more summer sights.

 

 

“Be the lighthouse” spreads the light on my lyrical question.

I’ll likely see Fenway Park’s lights shine on James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt one summer night.

Like to shine in a comment?  Be the lighthouse and spread your light below.

Like to shine my thanks on  James Taylor, Yogi Tea, Tony’s Clam Shop, artists everywhere,  the sun, the sea, and you — of course! —  for being the lighthouse, here and now.

Day 1635: Whatever it is, love it.

Whatever my daily blogging topic is, I love it.

Whatever my emotion is, I love it.

Whatever the day brings, I love it.

Whatever people say to me, I love it.

Whatever I see, I love it.

 

 

Whatever irony there is, I love it.

Whatever I hear, I’m perfectly free to love it.

Whatever you think about this post, I love it.

Whatever gratitude I express to those who help me blog daily and — of course! — to you, my readers, I hope you love it.

 

Day 1634: Warnings

WARNING:  This post has warnings in it.

Yesterday, my EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist, George, talked to me about my over-developed mental warning system.

WARNING: I keep forgetting what “EMDR” stands for and I have to look it up every time I write about it (like here and here).

George gave me an important warning, yesterday, in our therapy session. He warned that I give myself this warning way too much:

I have to hyper-vigilantly protect myself against the world’s incompetence, ignorance, hostility, lack of understanding, ambivalence, negligence, etc.,  in order to get my needs met and to survive.

WARNING: I write important warnings down so I can remember them.

George warned me that these constant warnings are probably bad for my health. He suggested I tell myself this instead:

I am safe. I have everything I need.

Do you see any warnings in my photos from yesterday?

 

 

WARNING: If children scare you, be warned that The Warning is a hard-rock band of three young sisters from Monterey, Mexico. Here‘s The Warning’s TED talk (and play):

 

WARNING: This writer loves comments on her posts, which you can leave below.

WARNING: I have everything I need, here and now, thanks to all who helped me create this post with warnings and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1633: Tantrums

Rather than have a tantrum, let’s just define it:

tan·trum
noun
an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.
“he has temper tantrums if he can’t get his own way”
synonyms: fit of temper, fit of rage, fit, outburst, pet, paroxysm, frenzy, bad mood, mood, huff, scene; (informal) hissy fit
“how can you tolerate his tantrums?”

How can you tolerate his tantrums? Good question.  How can we tolerate anybody’s tantrums, including our own?

For example, I sometimes have tantrums when somebody uses the word “pet”  (as in the definition above) for anything other than this:

I’ve also been having  tantrums because Oscar stepped on my computer this weekend and changed the way photos are displayed, making it harder for me to blog every morning.

Can anybody tell when I’m having tantrums? I’m not sure, but I told people at work yesterday that I woke up mad, mad, mad.  Was I having a tantrum when I did that? Actually, I think sharing my feelings prevented me from having a tantrum.

Was I having tantrums when I took these photos?

Okay, now I’m having a tantrum because AS USUAL, I FORGOT TO RESTART MY COMPUTER BEFORE WRITING THIS POST AND THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN ACCESS MY FRIGGIN’ PHOTOS FROM YESTERDAY! AND WORDPRESS ISN’T SAVING MY POSTS AS I’M WRITING THEM THESE DAYS SO THIS IS SUCH A !!&$##!!??!#^&!! PAIN!!!!

Excuse me.  I’ll be right back.

Any tantrums here?

My boyfriend Michael (whose meals are good antidotes for tantrums) has lots of stories about tantrums he’s witnessed in restaurant and hotel kitchens.

Are James Taylor and his son Ben having tantrums in “Angry Blues”?

Feel free to have tantrums in a comment below.

Outbursts of gratitude and fits of frenzied thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! —  to you.  Without my readers, I’d be having tantrums every day.