Yesterday, in group and individual therapy, several people talked about anger. Those discussions included:
wishing there were some good role models for dealing with anger,
acknowledgement that the current U.S. President unprecedentedly expresses anger every day through Twitter or a microphone,
brainstorming better ways to deal with anger (like walking away, owning the anger, respectfully expressing the anger, or writing angry letters, emails, text, or tweets that one does NOT send),
recognizing that anger is just another feeling that should not be judged or repressed,
defining anger as the human response to one’s needs not being met,
realizing that judging or repressing anger blocks it from being discharged in a healthier way,
role-playing healthier expressions of anger,
deciding to deal with the “wish to break something” by going to a dollar store and buying an inexpensive breakable item, and
considering the skill of doing nothing.
I’m wondering if there will be any anger about the amount and quality of my photos today. If so, please consider expressing that anger in a healthy way.
Harley is contentedly demonstrating the skill of doing nothing.
Here‘s Johnny Duke covering James Taylor’s “Angry Blues:
If I were Johnny Duke, I might be angry about that having only 458 views and nine likes on YouTube. Maybe not, though, because he seems like a very cool cat.
Feel free to express yourself in the comments section, below, or to practice the skill of doing nothing.
I shall now practice the skill of expressing my thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
a phrase that has appeared many times on superhero comic book covers,
somewhat confusing,
the title of today’s post, and
inspired by a photo I took last night when I was together again with Boston’s Fenway Park for the first time sitting in the outfield to see Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor, who were together again for the last time on their current tour.
The world and I have been together since 1953 and so have the Boston Red Sox and The Jimmy Fund — “the oldest and most successful partnership between a sports team and a charity in the nation.”
The photos in this blog post are together again for the first time, starting now:
My iPhone and I are together again for the first time today creating this post (because my laptop won’t load my photos) and for some reason, my iPhone is putting my pictures together again for the first time in reverse chronological order. The words in that previous sentence are together again for the first time and I hope it’s the last time, too, because I’m going to the Apple Store today to get my technology together again for the first time in a few months.
At this point, I need to get myself together again and decide which music goes together with today’s blog.
If I close my eyes, I can still see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt singing beautifully together again for the last time on their 2017 tour.
I’m gathering my gratitude together again, so thanks to all who helped me create this together-again-for-the-first-time post and to you — of course! — for getting yourself together again to visit here, now.
What’s the difference between a good day and bad day for you?
I am now trying to share yesterday’s photos in this post, but it’s no good. Does that make today a good day or a bad day? I am choosing to see it as a good day, especially because I’m seeing Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor tonight at Boston’s Fenway Park.
Because my son and I are leaving for Edinburgh, Scotland, a week from tomorrow to share several good days together, I shall try to resolve these photo-loading issues a good day before then.
Here are Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor sharing a Goode song with thousands of people:
Good thanks to all who helped me create today’s good-enough post and — of course! — to YOU.
Writing yesterday’s blog post inspired me to buy that ticket to see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt perform at Boston’s Fenway Park in August. Even though I’ve said, “I’ll buy that!” about lots of concert tickets and many Bonnie Raitt albums and James Taylor CDs, I’ve never seen either of them in person.
I can’t wait to see them. Do you buy that?
Do you buy that my boyfriend Michael said, “I’ll buy that!” about one of the items shown in these pictures?
What do you think Michael bought? Buy the way, I took something away from the yard sale, too. If you buy into guessing what Michael bought and what I chose, I’ll provide the answers, by and buy.
Because we recently said, “I’ll buy that!” to a home by the ocean, we’ll be moving those two things and other things we’ve bought, very soon.
Do you buy that my ex-husband said this to me yesterday?
You’re scary when you’re angry.
I found that difficult to buy, because I never see myself as scary, even when I’m angry. Maybe that’s because I’m a 5’3″ 64-year-old woman without weapons. Do you buy that I LIKED being seen as scary by my ex, who is very big and strong? Do you buy that we both shook hands soon after he said that?
Like to shine in a comment? Be the lighthouse and spread your light below.
Like to shine my thanks on James Taylor, Yogi Tea, Tony’s Clam Shop, artists everywhere, the sun, the sea, and you — of course! — for being the lighthouse, here and now.
tan·trum
noun
an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.
“he has temper tantrums if he can’t get his own way”
synonyms: fit of temper, fit of rage, fit, outburst, pet, paroxysm, frenzy, bad mood, mood, huff, scene; (informal) hissy fit
“how can you tolerate his tantrums?”
How can you tolerate his tantrums? Good question. How can we tolerate anybody’s tantrums, including our own?
For example, I sometimes have tantrums when somebody uses the word “pet” (as in the definition above) for anything other than this:
I’ve also been having tantrums because Oscar stepped on my computer this weekend and changed the way photos are displayed, making it harder for me to blog every morning.
Can anybody tell when I’m having tantrums? I’m not sure, but I told people at work yesterday that I woke up mad, mad, mad. Was I having a tantrum when I did that? Actually, I think sharing my feelings prevented me from having a tantrum.
Was I having tantrums when I took these photos?
Okay, now I’m having a tantrum because AS USUAL, I FORGOT TO RESTART MY COMPUTER BEFORE WRITING THIS POST AND THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN ACCESS MY FRIGGIN’ PHOTOS FROM YESTERDAY! AND WORDPRESS ISN’T SAVING MY POSTS AS I’M WRITING THEM THESE DAYS SO THIS IS SUCH A !!&$##!!??!#^&!! PAIN!!!!
Excuse me. I’ll be right back.
Any tantrums here?
My boyfriend Michael (whose meals are good antidotes for tantrums) has lots of stories about tantrums he’s witnessed in restaurant and hotel kitchens.
Outbursts of gratitude and fits of frenzied thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to you. Without my readers, I’d be having tantrums every day.
This is the beginning of my post, where I explain the title.
Ready?
In this post:
I intend to challenge some idioms I’ve internalized, and
I am including a number in the title (#1) because I like numbers, I like indicating beginnings, and I like leaving room for the continuation of a process.
Okay!
Idiom #1: Don’t Change Horses in the Middle of a Stream.
To make major changes in an activity that has already begun; to choose someone or something else after it is too late. (Alludes to someone trying to move from one horse to another while crossing a stream.) I’m already baking a cherry pie. I can’t bake an apple pie. It’s too late to change horses in the middle of the stream. The house is half-built. It’s too late to hire a different architect. You can’t change horses in midstream. Jane: I’ve written a rough draft of my research paper, but the topic doesn’t interest me as much as I thought. Maybe I ought to pick a different one. Jill: Don’t change horses in midstream.
Looking at the last example in that definition: I’m not convinced that Jane should listen to Jill. Isn’t Jane the expert on her own experience? And wouldn’t it be better, for all involved, if Jane wrote about something that interested her?
Before I continue challenging this idiom, let me insert some results of a Google Image search:
(thanks to sheetmusicplus.com) (and by the way, I am not familiar with that Tower of Power tune)
(thanks to quoteshd.com for a full page of horse quotes!)
It’s interesting that both images I’ve chosen are related to music. (I love music.)
I got a little distracted, I have to say, by some of the other Google Images that came up for this idiom ….
Hold on …. refocusing ….
… And back to my intention: to challenge this internalized idiom! (And thanks to James Taylor for starting the challenging.)
Here we go:
I’m sorry, but I don’t find this a helpful warning. I just don’t. It tells me to be afraid of change, of taking control, of doing something different. For heaven’s sake, we are ALWAYS mid-stream, aren’t we? And if I never change horses, then I’ll never get a chance to do something different, change direction, ride in a new way, and pursue new goals.
To brag. Gary sure likes to toot his own horn. “I hate to blow my own horn,” said Bill, “but I am always right.”
I’m not sure what happened to Jill and Jane, our previous Idiom Players. Maybe Jane is busy re-writing her paper, and Jill has gone off in a huff, after Jane politely and firmly told her to keep her opinions to herself.
In any case, this time we get Gary and Bill. And the implication, as usual, is that bragging is risky, if not down-right obnoxious. (See here, for one of several posts I’ve written about bragging, this year.)
Let’s see what Google Images has to show, about this:
(Thanks to eslculips,com, for the image and further explanation of this idiom. )
(thanks to goproverbs.com, a site that looks at proverbs from around the world)
Again, my second image has started arguing with this idiom, for me.
Let’s see what else I can come up with, to challenge it …
Hey! How about this poem from Marianne Williamson? I’ve quoted this poem previously this year (see this post), but I can’t imagine a better way to go:
Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
Thanks to Marianne Williamson, for that glorious challenge.
And before I end this post, I just wanted to say one more thing:
Tower of Power, who created that song, “Don’t Change Horses in the Middle of the Stream”?
Man, those guys sure toot their own horns, and I’m so glad they do!
Thanks for listening, reading, and all of it, today.
