For the last four years, I’ve been complaining about the U.S. President and the enablers of his outrageous behaviors.
I’m looking forward to not complaining about our President, very soon.
Do you see any complaining in my latest images?
I actually did a little complaining to Michael about last night’s dinner, because (1) it was the second sandwich in a row and (2) it wasn’t pasta. As I said in my tweet above, I’m looking forward to more of that kind of complaining.
I am complaining about my sleep pattern lately: I wake up way too early and have trouble falling back asleep. I’m hoping I’ll be doing less complaining about my sleep after the inauguration on Wednesday.
Members of my family are debating what’s right and wrong regarding our cat Oscar’s end-of-life experience. Twice I have scheduled home euthanasia for Oscar on a Monday and twice I have cancelled that appointment to allow Oscar to move further along to a natural death. It’s difficult to tell what’s right and what’s wrong with Oscar, because he
continues to engage with us,
eats a little every once in a while,
rarely shows obvious signs of pain,
is very unsteady,
is so good-natured he rarely complains, and
is so wonderful that we want as much time with him as we can get.
It might be right and wrong that I scheduled a phone consultation about Oscar’s quality of life tonight and another home euthanasia visit tomorrow (which I might cancel again).
Michael, Aaron, and I have spent many hours discussing what’s right and wrong with Oscar. We wonder if we are being selfish if we keep him alive and we wonder if we are being selfish if we euthanize him. Right and wrong can be subjective, especially in a situation like this one.
I’ve asked Oscar what’s right and wrong for him, but he hasn’t told me.
Do you see right and wrong in my photos from yesterday?
That last image might show right and wrong ways to respond to a difficult person. With all that’s wrong in the world, it’s right to speak up and effectively act for change.
I sometimes worry that I’m doing wrong even when I’m doing right, so it was nice to get this feedback for my annual review from a doctor I work with:
Ann is the most amazing social worker in Boston. My patients often tell me “Ann is life changing.” She has an ability to connect and help any patient I send her way no matter their story or background. She has had a tremendous impact on even my most challenging complex patients. I would send my own family members to her in a heartbeat. She amazes me more and more each year. I feel so lucky to have her on my team. I have seen her in action a few times (providing therapy to my patients in front of me) and she is clearly a master of masters.
One patient told me “if the world had more Ann Koplow’s it would be a better place. My solution to violence and racism and suffering is to provide each Family an Ann.”
It may not be right for that doctor to claim I’m the most amazing social worker in Boston if she hasn’t met all of them (which she hasn’t), but I defend her right to say it. I don’t know what’s right or wrong to say about that patient’s proposed solution to violence and racism and suffering.
Here‘s a song that starts with the lyrics “do me wrong, do me right”:
I’ll be lonelier when Oscar leaves us, no matter when or how. (That last sentence is an “I” statement, a right way to own one’s feelings and minimize defensive reactions.)
There’s nothing wrong about expressing thoughts and feelings, so please express yours in a comment right below this post.
Gratitude always seems right, so thanks to all who help me blog each and every right and wrong day, including YOU.
Also, my angel of a nurse, Melanie Marshall (who appears in this post with several other angels) …
… has left Tufts Medical Center, which I found out yesterday at my device check appointment. In case my reading angels want to know whether there was any other disappointment at that appointment, I also found out that my implantable cardiac device has about four more years of life.
You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give. — Patti LaBelle
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. — George Bernard Shaw
Monsters will always exist. There’s one inside each of us. But an angel lives there, too. There is no more important agenda than figuring out how to slay one and nurture the other. — Jacqueline Novogratz
I do not want to be the angel of any home: I want for myself what I want for other women, absolute equality. After that is secured, then men and women can take turns being angels. — Agnes Macphail
A good teacher who can take the zero pay and help kids develop physically, emotionally, socially, is literally an angel. — Eva Amurri
Books are like a mirror. If an ass looks in, you can’t expect an angel to look out. — B. C. Forbes
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. — Michelangelo
Misfortune is never mournful to the soul that accepts it; for such do always see that every cloud is an angel’s face. — Lydia M. Child
When we are touched by something it’s as if we’re being brushed by an angel’s wings. — Rita Dove
I also noticed this yesterday, regarding a singer-songwriter with an angelic voice:
I am grateful for all the angels in my life, including YOU!
Yesterday, in group and individual therapy, several people talked about anger. Those discussions included:
wishing there were some good role models for dealing with anger,
acknowledgement that the current U.S. President unprecedentedly expresses anger every day through Twitter or a microphone,
brainstorming better ways to deal with anger (like walking away, owning the anger, respectfully expressing the anger, or writing angry letters, emails, text, or tweets that one does NOT send),
recognizing that anger is just another feeling that should not be judged or repressed,
defining anger as the human response to one’s needs not being met,
realizing that judging or repressing anger blocks it from being discharged in a healthier way,
role-playing healthier expressions of anger,
deciding to deal with the “wish to break something” by going to a dollar store and buying an inexpensive breakable item, and
considering the skill of doing nothing.
I’m wondering if there will be any anger about the amount and quality of my photos today. If so, please consider expressing that anger in a healthy way.
Harley is contentedly demonstrating the skill of doing nothing.
Here‘s Johnny Duke covering James Taylor’s “Angry Blues:
If I were Johnny Duke, I might be angry about that having only 458 views and nine likes on YouTube. Maybe not, though, because he seems like a very cool cat.
Feel free to express yourself in the comments section, below, or to practice the skill of doing nothing.
I shall now practice the skill of expressing my thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
a phrase that has appeared many times on superhero comic book covers,
somewhat confusing,
the title of today’s post, and
inspired by a photo I took last night when I was together again with Boston’s Fenway Park for the first time sitting in the outfield to see Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor, who were together again for the last time on their current tour.
The world and I have been together since 1953 and so have the Boston Red Sox and The Jimmy Fund — “the oldest and most successful partnership between a sports team and a charity in the nation.”
The photos in this blog post are together again for the first time, starting now:
My iPhone and I are together again for the first time today creating this post (because my laptop won’t load my photos) and for some reason, my iPhone is putting my pictures together again for the first time in reverse chronological order. The words in that previous sentence are together again for the first time and I hope it’s the last time, too, because I’m going to the Apple Store today to get my technology together again for the first time in a few months.
At this point, I need to get myself together again and decide which music goes together with today’s blog.
If I close my eyes, I can still see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt singing beautifully together again for the last time on their 2017 tour.
I’m gathering my gratitude together again, so thanks to all who helped me create this together-again-for-the-first-time post and to you — of course! — for getting yourself together again to visit here, now.
What’s the difference between a good day and bad day for you?
I am now trying to share yesterday’s photos in this post, but it’s no good. Does that make today a good day or a bad day? I am choosing to see it as a good day, especially because I’m seeing Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor tonight at Boston’s Fenway Park.
Because my son and I are leaving for Edinburgh, Scotland, a week from tomorrow to share several good days together, I shall try to resolve these photo-loading issues a good day before then.
Here are Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor sharing a Goode song with thousands of people:
Good thanks to all who helped me create today’s good-enough post and — of course! — to YOU.
Writing yesterday’s blog post inspired me to buy that ticket to see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt perform at Boston’s Fenway Park in August. Even though I’ve said, “I’ll buy that!” about lots of concert tickets and many Bonnie Raitt albums and James Taylor CDs, I’ve never seen either of them in person.
I can’t wait to see them. Do you buy that?
Do you buy that my boyfriend Michael said, “I’ll buy that!” about one of the items shown in these pictures?
What do you think Michael bought? Buy the way, I took something away from the yard sale, too. If you buy into guessing what Michael bought and what I chose, I’ll provide the answers, by and buy.
Because we recently said, “I’ll buy that!” to a home by the ocean, we’ll be moving those two things and other things we’ve bought, very soon.
Do you buy that my ex-husband said this to me yesterday?
You’re scary when you’re angry.
I found that difficult to buy, because I never see myself as scary, even when I’m angry. Maybe that’s because I’m a 5’3″ 64-year-old woman without weapons. Do you buy that I LIKED being seen as scary by my ex, who is very big and strong? Do you buy that we both shook hands soon after he said that?
Like to shine in a comment? Be the lighthouse and spread your light below.
Like to shine my thanks on James Taylor, Yogi Tea, Tony’s Clam Shop, artists everywhere, the sun, the sea, and you — of course! — for being the lighthouse, here and now.
tan·trum
noun
an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.
“he has temper tantrums if he can’t get his own way”
synonyms: fit of temper, fit of rage, fit, outburst, pet, paroxysm, frenzy, bad mood, mood, huff, scene; (informal) hissy fit
“how can you tolerate his tantrums?”
How can you tolerate his tantrums? Good question. How can we tolerate anybody’s tantrums, including our own?
For example, I sometimes have tantrums when somebody uses the word “pet” (as in the definition above) for anything other than this:
I’ve also been having tantrums because Oscar stepped on my computer this weekend and changed the way photos are displayed, making it harder for me to blog every morning.
Can anybody tell when I’m having tantrums? I’m not sure, but I told people at work yesterday that I woke up mad, mad, mad. Was I having a tantrum when I did that? Actually, I think sharing my feelings prevented me from having a tantrum.
Was I having tantrums when I took these photos?
Okay, now I’m having a tantrum because AS USUAL, I FORGOT TO RESTART MY COMPUTER BEFORE WRITING THIS POST AND THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN ACCESS MY FRIGGIN’ PHOTOS FROM YESTERDAY! AND WORDPRESS ISN’T SAVING MY POSTS AS I’M WRITING THEM THESE DAYS SO THIS IS SUCH A !!&$##!!??!#^&!! PAIN!!!!
Excuse me. I’ll be right back.
Any tantrums here?
My boyfriend Michael (whose meals are good antidotes for tantrums) has lots of stories about tantrums he’s witnessed in restaurant and hotel kitchens.
Outbursts of gratitude and fits of frenzied thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to you. Without my readers, I’d be having tantrums every day.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 