Day 3177: A pat on the back

I think we all deserve a pat on the back for getting through months of this pandemic, as well as other soul-sucking challenges that could easily break our backs.

Not to pat myself on the back too much, but my job as a group therapist for a major Boston medical center is important and also very stressful. I’m feeling more stressed than unusual today because I’ll be returning there in-person one day a week, starting tomorrow. In response to the stress, I’ve developed a new nervous habit — scratching myself on the back. This morning, I decided to transform that into a more adaptive habit: whenever I notice that I am scratching my back, I will consciously pat myself on the back instead.

Do you think I deserve a pat on the back for that helpful transformation or for any of the images I’m choosing to share today?

Patting oneself on the back takes practice, so I am now going to pat myself on the back for keeping several awesome friendships over the years.

Also, when I look at the National Days for today …

… I notice that several are related to giving pats on the back.

I’m also patting myself on the back for choosing to spend part of the 20th anniversary of 9/11 yesterday by listening to the uplifting score of Come From Away — the musical based on the true stories of the planes that were rerouted to remote Gander, Newfoundland after the Twin Tower attacks.

I think the creators of Come From Away should pat themselves on the back for transforming the pain of that day into such a deep, compelling, and healing work of art. Here’s a number from the show plus a recent interview on Good Morning America :

How can you pat yourself on the back, here and now?

Finally, I will pat myself on the back again for sharing my thoughts, feelings, and gratitude with wonderful people who have my back every day, including YOU!

Day 3024: Pro (and con)-crastination

These days, many people in therapy are talking about procrastination.

Without procrastination, I’ll tell you why: People feel guilt and shame about not getting more done during the coronavirus pandemic when “I had so much more time on my hands!”

I wish people would stop procrastinating letting go of guilt and shame about procrastination. Procrastination is NOT a sin. Procrastination occurs when you

• have to do something you dislike doing,
• are focusing on the prospect of failure,
• don’t have the information or resources you need to complete the task, and/or
• are not at your best and think you would do a better job if you waited until you felt better.

When you consider that, it’s amazing any of us are getting ANYTHING done.

I’m now procrastinating sharing something I just realized. I not only procrastinate, I also do the opposite of procrastination, which I’m calling concrastination.

What is concrastination? It’s the need to do something immediately, without putting it off to a better time. I concrastinate the following:

• responding to emails, texts, and phone calls,
• meeting people’s expressed needs,
• trying to solve perceived problems,
• exploring new ideas,
• expressing my feelings, and
• creating blog posts after I wake up, even if it’s in the middle of the night.

Do you see procrastination or concrastination in any of today’s images?

Here is PROCRASTINATION – The Musical by AVbyte:

I’m concrastinating asking for comments, below, and expressing thanks to all who help me create these daily blogs, including YOU!

Day 2643: What are your priorities?

On this day, what are your priorities?

Do your priorities include taking care of tasks?

Do your priorities include noticing and appreciating what’s around you throughout the day?

Do your priorities include staying hydrated ?

Do your priorities include keeping track of what belongs to you?

Do your priorities include eating healthy food?

Do your priorities include socializing as best you can during these strange times?

Do your priorities include compassion, kindness, and grace?

Do your priorities include effective communication?

Do your priorities include smiling? Studies show that smiling helps improve your mood (even if you don’t feel like smiling).

Face it!  It can be very difficult to set priorities during changing and uncertain times. My priorities, here and now, include

• blogging,
• arranging and conducting on-line therapy groups,
• forgiving myself for my mistakes,
• listening,
• communicating,
• accepting myself and others,
• balancing action with thought,
• hope,
• safety,
• letting go of judgment,
• letting go of worry,
• finding joy wherever I can,
• caring for myself and others as best I can, and
• music (here and here).

As always, my priorities include gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create these daily posts, including YOU.

Day 2638: What we can teach each other

Yesterday, I decided that our shy cat Harley could probably teach people a thing or two about social distancing, so I started taping this tutorial:

However, Harley didn’t teach the way I expected him to. Based on my past knowledge of Harley, I assume that Harley’s behavior was different because his best friend Michael was in the room.

This morning, when Michael was not in the room, I tried again:

Somebody can teach me something about how to hold the camera and Harley can teach us all this about social distancing:

• Maintain a distance of six feet from people.
• If somebody gets too close, move away, if possible.
• If not, ask the person to back off.

Harley also teaches us that fear can make us very catty.

What can these other recent images teach us?

That teabag can teach us that our strength is our own knowledge.

I hope our knowledge and our strength help us all get through this.  I look forward to the teachings in the comments section, below.

Thanks to all who teach and learn, including YOU!

Day 2609: No Filter

Do you know people who have no filter — who say whatever comes to mind?

I thought about people with no filter when I captured this image yesterday:

As I wrote here recently, when  I facilitate therapy groups, I filter my comments through the question of “Who is it for?”

As I’ve shared many times starting here, I do my best to filter my behavior through these three things:

1. Show up.
2. Be gentle.
3. Tell the truth.

Here are my mostly unfiltered photos from yesterday:

 

 

In my groups, I have no filter when I encourage people to be selfish (i.e., practice self-care) and to be in the moment.

Here‘s “No Filter” by Fifth Harmony:

No filter needed for your comments!

No filter for the gratitude I have towards all those who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

Day 2528: I’m sick of _______

I’m sick of

• politics,

• trying to figure out my ring size,

• misspellings on signs,

• the high price of parking, and
• driving to work in the snow.

I’m NOT sick of

• people who are funny,

• helpful labels,

• cats,

• self-care,

•  Michael’s cooking,

• great music,

• your comments, and
• gratitude.

Day 2527: Essentials

I think clear communication is essential, so I’m essentially starting today’s blog post with a definition of essentials.

es·sen·tial
/əˈsen(t)SHəl/
noun
plural noun: essentials

a thing that is absolutely necessary.
“we had only the bare essentials in the way of gear”

the fundamental elements or characteristics of something.
“he was quick to grasp the essentials of an opponent’s argument”

Are you quick to grasp the essentials of a blog post from me?

What essentials do you see in my photographs?  I see the essentials of connection, loyalty, self-care, animals, and others.

It’s essential that I get to work on time, so I’m going to quickly finish this blog post with another essential for me — music. Last night, my essential fiancé and I danced to tunes that might become our essential song. It’s not essential that you listen to these (here and here on YouTube), but I hope you do.

 

What are your essentials?

Of course, gratitude is an essential here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, so thanks to all who are essential in helping me create these daily posts, including YOU!

Day 2496: It’s that time of the year

It’s that time of the year for

• dressing up,
• holidays,
• traditions,
• changes,
• anniversaries,
• anxiety,
• comfort food,
• selfies,
• memories,
• celebrations,
• communication,
• complications,
• simplicity,
• faith,
• love,
• forgiveness,
• self-care,
• accepting all your feelings,
• balancing your needs with other people’s needs, and
• sharing photos.

It’s also that time of year for cats (at least around here) and music (here , here, and here on YouTube):

It’s always that time of the year for gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create timely posts, including YOU.

Day 2490: More self-care bingo

Today is the wedding anniversary of my late, great parents, so I definitely need more self-care bingo.

Luckily, in a Coping and Healing group yesterday we added more squares to our self-care bingo cards.

My new squares are

1. created something new,
2. laughed with somebody,
3. expressed my feelings,
4. took a walk,
5. ate something delicious,
6. spent time with an animal,
7. danced,
8. listened to music I love,
9. improved the moment,
10. observed just noticed,
11. acknowledged progress,
12. looked at something beautiful,
13. gave somebody a hug,
14. accessed a good memory,
15. was playful,
16. returned an email,
17. made a helpful call,
18. set a limit,
19. smiled at a stranger, and
20. expressed gratitude.

Bingo!

Here’s #14 (accessed a good memory):

Adding more photos to today’s post qualifies as #1 (created something new).  Are any of these photos examples of self-care bingo?

Part of my self care has been watching this video of the Washington Nationals (up 2-1 in the World Series) spreading “Baby Shark” fever.

Here’s #20 (expressed gratitude):

 

Day 2487: Self-Care Bingo

Yesterday, somebody who attends my Coping and Healing groups sent me the gift of Self-Care Bingo.

Because my Coping and Healing groups  focus on self-care, we played Self-Care Bingo in yesterday’s group.  I called “Bingo!” for the up-and-down middle row, because that day I had

• talked to a friend,
• listened to my body,
• stayed alive,
• took a break, and
• drank water.

Everybody in the group was able to call “Bingo” for an up-and-down, left-to-right, or diagonal row.

I asked the group if they could think about other squares to add to their own personal game of Self-Care Bingo.  I might add another row of

• listened to music,
• hung out with a nice animal,
• communed with nature,
• blogged, and
• took pictures.

I just searched YouTube for “Bingo Supremes” and found this:

How would you play Self-Care Bingo?

Here’s something else I’d add to my personal Self-Care Bingo card:

Expressed gratitude.

Bingo!