Day 2121: Making noise

Is making noise making things better or worse? Today, I’m making noise about the fact that some news columnists are speculating that how the USA opposition party is making noise might be hurting their chances in the upcoming midterm election.

Lately, I’ve been making noise in my therapy groups, inviting people to be making noise when we do a mindfulness exercise that focuses on listening.  This is the noise I’m making when I introduce that exercise:

In this mindfulness exercise, we’re going to focus on the sense of hearing. After you hear the sound of the chime, do your best to listen to all the noises in the room. Feel free to make noise to make the exercise more interesting for other people.

That’s my attempt at making it safer for people to be making noise, since many of us can be self-conscious about the noises we’re making, especially when other people are listening.

I’ll be making noise soon with these Right & Wrong Buzzers:

Even though I’m often making noise about letting go of  unhelpful concepts of wrong and right, I’ll be making noise to encourage people to change old habits of thinking (including the cognitive distortions described here).

It’s okay to be making noise or to be silent about the other images I captured yesterday.

Because the wind was making so much noise yesterday, I didn’t go for my usual walk. Instead, I was making noise by making ukulele chords for  my latest original song “I’m Mad About You.”

With that song, I’m making noise about anger (especially towards politicians).

It’s time for me to be making noise about gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create this “Making noise” post and — of course! — to YOU, for all the noises you’re making.

Day 1785: _____ like no one is watching

I’ve blogged like no one is watching about self consciousness and how it affects self esteem, like here.

What would you like to do  like no one is watching?

Dance?

Walk outside?

Sleep?

Look at greeting cards?

Watch YouTube videos  (which somebody’s watching here , here and here)?

Please write a comment  like no one is watching, below.

Thanks to all who helped me create today’s post like no one was watching and — of course! — to YOU, for watching.

Day 1642: Self Centered

Welcome to another self centered post here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.

SELF

Notice how self centered this post is already?

Yesterday, I told  people in therapy sessions not to judge themselves for being self centered.  How could we not be self centered? If we don’t put ourselves in the center of our own lives, who will?

I, myself, constantly witness people judging themselves very harshly for being self centered, labeling themselves too selfish, too self-absorbed and even narcissistic.  This is what I tell those selves:

“If you worry about being a narcissist, you’re not.”

I know my self well enough to know I’m not  a narcissist, even though I’ve stopped worrying about that.

Here are some self centered photos from yesterday:

 

Michael himself centered that delicious food on a plate for me last night after my self-centered therapy group.

Here’s some Self Centered Blues:

 

This self is looking forward to some self centered comments, below.

Thanks to all the selves who helped my self create another self centered post and to you — of course! — for being your self.

 

Day 1141: What do I look and sound like when …?

What do I look and sound like when there’s less than one week before I go to an Open Audition for “The Voice” in Philadelphia?

What do I look and sound like when I’m going up and down between insecurity and confidence?

What do I look and sound like when I’m having trouble getting enough sleep?

What do I look and sound like when I am ….

• down to earth?

• blatant?

• stupid?

• bitching?

• drunk (even though I don’t drink alcohol)?

• filled with resolve?

• doing the math?

• cold?

• fun to know and easy to love?

• ducky?

• and, most importantly, singing?

What do I look and sound like when you comment on my blog?

Happy.

I’m looking and sounding grateful, here and now, as I finish this post.

Day 654: Observed

In yesterday morning’s blog post, I observed lots and lots of number 9’s.

As I walked to work, I observed another one:

I also observed it was unseasonably warm for a mid-October day. When I got to work, I observed:

• somebody working on interpersonal challenges:

• and a therapy group discussing the experience of self-consciousness — the awareness of being observed by others.  People in the group observed that self-consciousness did not have to be negative;  it might include helpful self-awareness.

I’ve observed that I’ve been feeling self-conscious and off-balance, lately. I’m observing, now,  that this might be connected to the following:

• The beautifully observant book I’m reading, written by Charles Gulotta, which observes harrowing medical experiences of people I’m caring about, very deeply.

• In approximately 9 days, I will be observed by many new people, as I give a presentation about the therapy groups I facilitate at a hospital-based doctors’ practice.
• There have been many times, in my own medical experiences, where I have been observed, very closely, by lots of people, in a way I could not control.

However, I CAN control what’s observed here, in the rest of this post.

Here’s what I observed, yesterday, through my ears (and my earphones), as I walked away from work, through a warm afternoon:

(“Afternoon” by the Pat Metheny Group, from the album Speaking of Now,” observed here on YouTube.)

Here’s what I observed, through my eyes (and my iPhone), as I made my way home:

                     

Is there anything you’ve observed you choose to express here?

Many thanks to Charles Gulotta, to those he loves, to the Pat Metheny Group, and to all who observe and are observed (including you, of course!).

Day 170: Kicking it to work

Two days ago, I wrote about a dream I had about dancing, which included my doing some very amazing kicks.

I’ve also written posts about letting go of self-consciousness this year, as I’ve been singing out loud — and even dancing a little —  while listening to music in public. Nothing too outrageous, mind you. But it’s been freeing to realize that other people don’t notice, so much, if I  vocalize or step out a little.

Yesterday morning was a particularly beautiful day. I had some extra time for my walk to work, so I took my detour, along the banks of a little river.

Some pret-ty danceable music kept playing in my headphones on the way.  I really wanted to get into it, dancing-wise, more exuberantly than I ever had before in public —  but I still felt a little self conscious about this.  Luckily, while “It Keeps You Running” by the Doobie Brothers was playing, the coast was pretty clear in front of me (everybody was facing away):

And nobody was there, in back of me:

So I had no compunction, at all, in doing some dance moves.

I really started to get into it, doing some side steps, some kicks,  and even a grapevine or two. I had memories of dancing in my basement to musicals, when I was a kid.

I passed some geese, but they didn’t seem to care.

Geese to the right of me, geese to the left of me, all indifferent to my moves.

Then, as Michael Franks’s bouncy tune “Eggplant” started playing in my headphones, I noticed a lot of human traffic ahead.

Oh, no! I thought. I guess I’ll have to cut back on my kicking when I get close to that heavily trafficked bridge.

However, by the time I crossed that bridge, nobody else was on it. Also, the view from the bridge was nice enough to distract anybody away from my antics:

Lots of beautiful distraction, everywhere:

And when I got to the other side, the surrounding population was sparse again, making it easy to kick it, without concern.

I had so much fun walking/dancing to “Eggplant” as I continued along.

While there were waves of people moving by, they were  always in the distance and not looking in my direction.  They were focused on getting to work (or wherever else they were heading).

Then, when I reached this point in my walk …

I realized that, in order to get to work on time, I had to keep moving  forwards — deliberately, consistently, and quickly. In other words, I had to stop sashaying and really start hoofing it. One of my favorite tunes of all time, “Hard Eights” by Lyle Mays, kicked in right then. Now, THAT’s a song that always energizes and propels me.

So, I flew to work, keeping pace with the music, and with some delight on my face.  On my way, there were lots of people on the sidewalk to weave around.

Which I did, with a modicum of grace. (At least, no collisions.) I got to work in plenty of time, too.

Thanks for steppin’ along side with me today.

And, if you want to check out “Eggplant” (perhaps for a little personal kicking),  here it is:

Day 63: Post-It Notes for helpful reminders (The Gallagher of Therapists)

It’s Monday, I’m anxious about a few things, and it would be helpful to post some helpful reminders to myself today.

I find Post-It Notes useful in such situations.

Post-It Notes are among several props I use in my work. (Other props have included (1) magic wands, (2) clickers to help people notice cognitive distortions, and (3) baskets that get passed around at groups, holding  slips of paper with questions or information.) As I said to my BF Michael last week,  “Perhaps I’m the Gallagher, or even the Carrot Top, of Therapists.” (Michael has some judgments about prop comedians, so he looked dubious.)

Here are some helpful reminders for me to post, today.

1. Those tasks you’ve been procrastinating?  Let go of shame and take a first step.
2. Set limits, by being clear about what you can and cannot do right now.
3. It’s okay to sing out loud when you feel like it.

At this point, I would like to present some data I recently gathered in support of # 3, above.

I collect unusual (not expensive!) watches, so another position on my Personal Support Team is Watch Battery Replacement Expert. (For posts about other team members, see here and here.) Watch Battery Replacement Expert has been an empty position for a while, so this past weekend I scouted local sites for candidates. And I found this gentleman:

This is Doug Marcou, from Marcou Jewelers. I’m sure he’s going to be a fine Watch Replacement Specialist. What I also appreciated about my first encounter with Doug was that, while I was waiting, he was singing along to the tunes that were playing in his store, with some wonderful joie de vivre.

So, now, when I feel like singing, I can challenge self consciousness with that memory of Doug singing out — in fine voice and in fine fettle — replacing that watch battery in his store.

So, thanks to Doug, thanks to Gallagher and Carrot Top, and thanks to you, too, dear reader.