Day 1977: Other people’s opinions

Yesterday, in a therapy group, people discussed  and wrote down their thoughts and feelings about other people’s opinions.

What is your personal experience of other people’s opinions?  What makes other people’s opinions more difficult for you? What helps you deal with other people’s opinions?

In yesterday’s group, I shared a personal experience of other people’s opinions, which I’ve written about previously (here). At the end of a weekend-long retreat, decades ago, I participated in an exercise where everybody got to give and receive opinions about each other.  The people who were running the exercise offered this excellent opinion: When people give you their opinions about you, they are often talking about themselves.  However, if you hear similar opinions from different people, you need to take those opinions seriously.  At that retreat, I was surprised …

… to hear mostly positive and supportive opinions.

After group yesterday, I swapped opinions with author and friend Chris, who was my student at Boston University decades ago (and who has appeared in other blogs posts, here, here,  here, and here).

That’s Chris taking a photo of the street sign at Fenway Park that was recently changed from Yawkey Way back to its original name — Jersey Street — because of other people’s opinions.

I sang my first original song — “I Don’t Like You” —  for Chris, and his opinion matched other people’s opinions. When I told him I was going to debut that song at an Open Mic tomorrow night and also share that performance on YouTube, his opinion was very supportive.  I have very positive opinions of Chris and I’m sure other people share those opinions.

I’m wondering, here and now, about other people’s opinions of this post, including all my other photos from yesterday …

… and the music I’m choosing for today’s post.

On YouTube, other people’s opinions of Jake Shimabukuro playing the ukulele are similar to mine.

I look forward to other people’s opinions, below.

My opinion is that you should express gratitude to others whenever you can, like now!

Day 1976: The best things in life

If you stop for a moment, take a breath, and look around, you may find the best things in life.

For me, the best things in life include

• being with others,

• time to myself,

• beauty,
• being of service,

• tea,

• peace,
• tranquility,
• harmony,
• safe places,

• light,
• gatherings,
• diverse thinkers,
• connections,
• partners,
• health,
• hope,
• healing,
• feeling inspired,
• being involved,
• nutritious food,

• being outside,
• the ocean,

• sunsets,

• companionship, and dancing.

Last night, I danced with my partner to “Down on the Riverbed” by Los Lobos.  It was one of the best things in my life.

What are the best things in life for you?

My best things in life have to include gratitude for all who support others, including YOU.

 

Day 1975: How we make each other feel

How do you make others feel?  How do others make you feel?

How does this sign make you feel?

Actually, I feel like we (humans and, perhaps, pizzas) are all responsible for our own feelings.  In other words, nobody can really “make” someone else feel anything. (Although we can make pizza.)   Our feelings are our own — we can’t blame others for how we feel. However, people affect each other’s feelings, in many ways.

So, if you feel

• inadequate,
• sure,

• welcome,

• unwelcome,

 

• peaceful,

• good,

• coerced,

• threatened or any other feeling, ask yourself some questions.

Who might be affecting me? What am I feeling?  Why?  Do I wear those feelings well or are those feelings wearing me out?  What can I do about this?

Yesterday, Tim

at the Apple Genius Bar

affected my feelings and my son’s feelings very positively.  While Tim didn’t make me feel like a genius, he was a genius at his job.  Naturally, I made my positive feelings known to Tim and to Tim’s manager.

Speaking of naturally, here‘s Aretha Franklin telling everybody how she feels in 2015:

Feel free to express any feelings you have in a comment, below.

As always, I feel very grateful to all who helped me create this post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 1974: Real

Here’s a real definition of “real.”

re·al
rē(ə)l
adjective
1.actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed.
“Julius Caesar was a real person”
synonyms: actual, nonfictional, factual, real-life
2. (of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine.
“the earring was presumably real gold”
synonyms: genuine, authentic, bona fide
adverb NORTH AMERICAN informal
1. really; very.
“my head hurts real bad”

Here’s the real inspiration for today’s post:

What’s your real reaction to that?

My head hurts real bad when people

• deny climate change and
• otherwise deny what’s real to me.

It’s time for some real quotes:

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing?  Did I let go of my resentment? Did I forgive?  Did I love? These are the real questions.  I must trust that the little bit of love I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.  — Henri Nouween

Character is like a tree and reputation is like a shadow.  The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.  — Abraham Lincoln

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.  Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. — Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.  — Mahatma Gandhi

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.  — Confucius

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit.  —  Hosea Ballou

There is no real beauty without some slight imperfection.  — James Salter

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.  — Buddha

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.  — Albert Camus

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.  — Wayne Dyer

Nothing ever becomes real til it is experienced.  — John Keats

The world is like a reverse  casino.  In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you’re certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you’re gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you. — Scott Adams

The truth is, as most of us know, that global warming is real and that humans are major contributors, mainly because we wastefully burn fossil fuels.  — David Suzuki

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too.  They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. — Stephen King

People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil.  The real conflict is between truth and lies.  —  Don Miguel Ruiz

Well, real estate is always good, as far as I’m concerned.  — Donald Trump

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.  — Douglas Adams

Nothing is so strong as gentleness;  nothing so gentle as real strength.  — Saint Frances de Sales

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.  — Marcel Proust

To keep it real, I try to have new eyes every day.  Here’s what I saw with new eyes yesterday:

Now I have a real dilemma: whether to share a real video of the Cookie Monster singing in the voice of the real Tom Waits …

… or this real video of my real son Aaron and his real friend Cameron from years ago,  in which lasagna and Michael make real surprise appearances and Aaron keeps it real in the moment.

I’m looking forward to real comments about this real post.

Finally, here are some real thanks from me to all those who helped me create today’s real  post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1973: What do you see?

What do you see in this photo?

What do you see?  I wonder if I’ll see what you see in a comment below.

What do I see?  A musical note AND a twist of thread on a bed.

See?  What you see and what I see may be the same, or it may be different.

What do you see in my other photos from yesterday?

 

Sometimes we see what we want to see. I wanted to see my son arriving last night from Edinburgh, and I did!

What do you see in this YouTube video?

What do you see at the end of every post from me?

Gratitude and thanks.

 

 

Day 1972: What other people say

“What other people say” is a topic that often comes up in my therapy groups.  What other people say may

• distress,
• reassure,
• anger,
• change,
• frighten,
• move,
• disappoint,
• gladden,
• worry,
• inspire,
• confuse,
• enlighten,
• disgust,
• support,
• frustrate,
• encourage,
• shame,
• enliven,
• disrespect,
• respect,
• betray,
• promote,
• enrage,
• surprise,
• concern,
• recognize,
• humble,
• condemn,
• accept,
• disconnect,
• connect,
• disorient,
• illuminate,
• silence,
• judge,
• forgive,
• blame,
• uplift,
• sadden,
• madden,
• touch,
• hurt,
• heal,
• condemn,
• save,
• annoy,
• soothe, and/or
• inform.

I wonder what other people would say about that list and about yesterday’s photos.

What other people say includes praise, F-bombs, and everything in between.  What’s more important is what we say or don’t say in return.

Here’s “People Say” by Don Diablo featuring Paije.

No matter what other people say, I always end with gratitude.

Day 1971: The If in Life

Today’s title — “The If in Life” — comes from the unexpected appearance of this yellow stickie at work yesterday:

If I could, I would ask the person who wrote that why they did and what it means to them.

If I ask you what you think that means, would you answer?

If I take photos in life, I share them here.

 

 

If you were to choose a video for this post, what would it be?

 

If you watch that video about Rashad Jennings‘s book, you’ll hear how he got off the sidelines of his life, stopped blaming people, stopped making excuses, and started taking ownership and responsibility.

If you were to write a book about your life, what would the title be?

If I can find an appropriate photo, I’ll end this post with gratitude.

 

 

Day 1970: Unexpected Appearances

Yesterday, on my way to work, I encountered my first unexpected appearances.

I didn’t expect the appearance of geese on the sidewalk. Did you?

There were more unexpected appearances throughout my day.

The appearance of that duck in front of a local bakery was unexpected. Maybe that duck expects the appearance of bread crumbs.

Expect the unexpected and the appearance of two more photos today. Here’s the first of those now expected photos:

That cat made an unexpected appearance last night at a party where my old friend Lawry and his family made wonderful appearances. (I expect I’ll add links to Lawry’s appearances in previous posts after I publish this one.) (Like this one and this one.)

In two days, my son will be making an expected appearance back in Boston. I expect to appear very happy about that.

This video made an unexpected appearance when I searched YouTube for “unexpected appearances.”

I expect the appearances of unexpected comments about today’s post, below.

Finally, here’s the expected appearance of gratitude at the end of this blog post.

Day 1969: Disoriented

I get disoriented at times.  Sometimes, I get so disoriented by people and places that I lose my way or I lose track of things.

Do you ever get disoriented?

Yesterday morning, I got disoriented while driving to work.  Then I got oriented by this:

This absolutely reoriented me to where I was.  Can you tell where I was? What oriented you?

While I was at work, I got disoriented again by

• several meetings right after lunch and
• realizing, at the end of the day, that my purse was missing.

I tried to track my purse down by retracing my disoriented steps. I was then further disoriented when I heard that I needed to wait until 6 AM this morning to find out whether somebody had turned my purse in.

When I show up at 6 AM, if my purse is not there, I will be even more disoriented. However, I will need to orient myself to get to Physical Therapy for my disoriented shoulder.

Here and now, this helps me be less disoriented:

Who steals my purse steals trash. ‘Tis something, nothing: ‘Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands. A good reputation is the most valuable thing we have—men and women alike.

Will you be disoriented if I ask who wrote that?

Which of these photos seems the most disoriented?

Here‘s “Disoriented” by CloZee.

I’m never too disoriented to thank all who help me create these daily blog posts and — of course! — you.

 

Day 1968: Give love, get love.

Time to give away where I get today’s topic.

Let’s give this a try: replace the word “love” with other words.  Get it?

Give hate, get hate.

Give indifference, get indifference.

Give anger, get anger.

Give generosity, get generosity.

Give the benefit of the doubt, get the benefit of the doubt.

Give a little bit, get a little bit.

Give a lot, get a lot.

Give pain, get pain.

Give healing, get healing.

Give advice, get advice.

Give room, get room.

Give beauty, get beauty.

Give ugliness, get ugliness.

Give honesty,  get honesty.

Give lies, get lies.

Give violence, get violence.

Give hope, get hope.

Give suspicion, get suspicion.

Give up, get up.

Give a damn, get a damn.

Give resentment, get resentment.

Give forgiveness, get forgiveness.

Give heart, get heart.

Give an opinion, get an opinion.

Give wisdom, get wisdom.

Give passion, get passion.

Give doubt, get doubt.

Give thoughts, get thoughts.

Give feelings, get feelings.

Give respect, get respect.

Give notice, get notice.

Give meaning,  get meaning.

Give a piece of your mind, get a piece of your mind.

Give peace of mind, get peace of mind.

Give photos, get photos.

Give nourishment, get nourishment.

Give a caption, get a caption.

“Give a Little Bit”, get a little bit on YouTube.

Give a comment below, get a comment below.

Give thanks, get thanks!