Day 3086: betrayed, bewildered

Lest you feel betrayed, bewildered by today’s title, I shall start this post by sharing two tweets I sent last night:

Nobody guessed the answer to my pop quiz but several people felt betrayed, bewildered by the reappearance of a salad bar in Whole Foods at this point in the pandemic.

Here’s who said “betrayed, bewildered” in a 1996 film:

Yesterday, my non-betraying and non-bewildering life-long friend Barbara and I kept using the phrase “betrayed, bewildered” while we were discussing many bewildering interactions we’d had with other people in which we felt betrayed. The reality is that many interpersonal interactions are bewildering and seeing them as a betrayal doesn’t help — when we do that we are personalizing the situation. People are going to be themselves no matter what you do and it doesn’t help to expect “you” from them.

What did help Barbara and me yesterday was to realize we were not alone in feeling betrayed, bewildered and to laugh together about all those interactions that had us temporarily feeling bewildered and betrayed before reaching a level of acceptance and peace.

I hope you don’t feel betrayed, bewildered by my run-on sentences or any of my other images for today.

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Here’s “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” sung by the incomparable Ella Fitzgerald.

I won’t feel betrayed, bewildered by any comment you might leave about this “betrayed, bewildered” post.

Neither betrayed nor bewildered, just grateful for you.

Day 3010: Add a positive word

I wasn’t sure what positive words I wanted to add to this post this morning until I saw this on Twitter:

Even (or especially) during difficult, uncertain, and anxiety-provoking times, it helps to add a positive word.

What positive word would you add to the jar? You can add that positive word to the comments section, below.

Now it’s time for me to add positive images to this post.

I considered adding the positive word “awareness” instead, but I want to put in a positive word for acceptance. In therapy, I often say that acceptance is the first step to change — you need to recognize and accept where you are, even if you don’t like it — before you can take the next step forward.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “add a positive word”:

That reminds me of an exercise I did with my family decades ago when we all added positive words about each other on paper. After our move to our home by the ocean, I’ve lost track my piece of paper, but the positive words are where they belong — in my heart — even if some family members are gone.

I also think I added those positive words to this blog, somewhere.

I’m positively giddy that I found some of them by searching for “family exercise,” here.

Positive words are out there. Strangely, those are often hard to accept.

As always, I add a positive word to the end of each post.

Day 2983: Weakness or strength?

I have a weakness for Twitter, where somebody recently asked, “Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?” I had the strength to answer as follows:

Do you see weakness or strength in my other images for today?

Is admitting mistakes, like today’s Daily Bitch, a sign of weakness or strength?

When I search for “weakness or strength” on YouTube, I find this:

Here’s “Strength No Weakness” by Demarjay Smith.

That reminds me that exactly a year ago, the week before lockdown, I was in Times Square in New York, attending a group therapy conference and contracting COVID. Is it weakness or strength to share that with you, here and now?

Actually, I think it’s helpful to think in terms of AND, not OR, so it’s all weakness AND strength.

Many thanks to those who help me share my weakness and strength in this daily blog, including YOU!

Day 2969: The answer

People are often looking for the answer. In order to know what the answer is, we probably need to know what the question is.

Is the answer in today’s Daily Bitch calendar?

Is the answer on Twitter?

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Is the answer in the photos I took yesterday?

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Is the answer in the video featured in this tweet?

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Is the answer in other videos posted by The Dodo, like this one …

… or this one?

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Is the answer in the comments section, below?

Is the answer in expressing gratitude, here and now?

Day 2906: Today is a special day

Today is a special day because I’m alive, against all odds, and so are you.

Today is a special day because I have special images to share.

Today is a special day because I swear that I don’t care if I f*ck shit up today. I have spent far too many of my special days worrying about f*cking shit up and, believe me, I am not the one who is f*cking shit up now.

Today is a special day because I found an open spot on the crowded list for a remote Open Mic this Friday evening. If you want to join the audience for my special performance of “People Who Hate People,” you have three special days to sign up using this link:

https://www.signupgenius.com/go/9040b4eadaa23a2f49-jamn17

Here is Mr. Rogers with “Today is a Very Special Day.”

Today is a special day because I get to facilitate a “Coping and Healing” group and I get to see your comments on this blog.

As always, I am grateful for every special day I spend with you!

Day 2808: It’s a beautiful day

It’s a beautiful day to

• blog,
• return to my work as a group and individual psychotherapist after a long staycation,
• let go of worry about the future,
• let go of regret about the past,
• be in the moment,
• show up,
• be gentle,
• tell the truth,
• take achievable next steps,
• stay safe,
• look up,
• look down,
• look all around,
• listen carefully,
• trust myself to figure things out,
• accept all feelings,
• recognize that I cannot change others but I can change myself,
• lose my investment in the outcome,
• stay committed to the process,
• recognize and use my personal power,
• be aware of internalized and unconscious messages,
• do more of what helps,
• do less of what doesn’t help,
• just be,
• make long lists, and
• share these photos.

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It’s a beautiful day to hide in my office at home (which I’m doing right now as I’m creating this blog).

It’s a beautiful day to share “It’s a Beautiful Day” by Tohpati (featuring Moonlight Project).

It’s a beautiful day when I find out about an Indonesian jazz guitarist and songwriter whose “most significant influence came from Pat Metheny.”

Is it a beautiful day to comment on a blog?

It’s a beautiful day to express gratitude, so thanks to all those who make my days more beautiful, including YOU.

Day 2723: Way stations

I just found my way to an online way station that has a definition of “way station.”

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way station (noun)

Definition of way station

1: a station set between principal stations on a line of travel (such as a railroad)
2: an intermediate stopping place

Synonyms

station, stop

Examples of way station in a Sentence

a way station for truck drivers

Recent Examples on the Web

The house became a gathering place for an indelible cultural moment, a way station for Andy Warhol, Terry Southern, Ike and Tina Turner, and Black Panthers.
— Mark Rozzo, The New Yorker, “Dennis Hopper’s Quiet Vision of Nineteen-Sixties Hollywood,” 22 Dec. 2019

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In my way, I tried to make that definition of “way station” a way station (an intermediate stopping place) within today’s post.

I think it’s helpful, here and now, to think of every thing we experience — alone and together — as way stations on our way to where we are going.

Do you see any way stations in my photographs from yesterday?

As I’m moving among way stations, I often listen to The Way Up by the Pat Metheny Group. Here‘s the Opening and Pt. One of The Way Up from the way station YouTube:

On your way today to other way stations, I hope you spend some time listening to The Way Up and also in the way station of the comments sections, below.

No matter what the way station, I am grateful to be there and grateful for YOU.

Day 2617: What I found

Yesterday, I found hope …

… amid all the spin.

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I found a sign about how others are finding God.

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I found photos of beloved animals.

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I found ways to brace myself for a week away from home and Michael.

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I found peace in nature.

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I found everything I needed to pack for my trip to New York City today.

I found compassion for my own and others’ fragility, and I found this song written by Sting and performed by Stevie Wonder and Sting.

 

As usual, I found gratitude.

 

Day 2607: Life is short …

I wrote a short post titled “Life is short” about 1,160 days ago. (My calculations may be imperfect, but — hey! — life is short.)  But … is that the end of the story?

Apparently not.

Life is short …

… stop and smell the roses.

Life is short …

… eat mindfully.

Life is short …

… try to get your act together.

Life is short …

… accept that people will disappoint each other.

Life is short …

… learn the important differences.

Life is short …

… expect the unexpected (like those three photos on my iPhone).  Also accept the light AND the dark.

If life is so short…

… share what’s important to you (like music, travel, and love).

Life is short and your comments can be, too!

Life is short …

… thanks!

Day 2450: Shocking confession. I’ve made mistakes.

Shocking confession.  I often steal the titles for these posts.

I’m wondering if this shocks my old friend Lawry, a lawyer who specializes in intellectual property and who used to read this blog every day.  Shocking confession: Lawry and I are both attending our 45th college reunion this weekend.

Shocking confession: I keep rewriting the first paragraph of the five-minute “Ted Talk” I’m giving at the reunion, which includes shocking confessions.

Everyone in our class, I’m sure, remembers where you were on November 22, 1963.  I’m different from you.  I have no memories of that day, because I was having heart surgery to get my first cardiac pacemaker. While the world was being traumatized by the assassination of President Kennedy, my family and I were being traumatized by that unexpected surgery, by hospital rules preventing parents from staying with their children, and by medical staff not knowing how to answer the questions of a frightened 10-year-old girl, like “What’s that coffin on the TV screen?” and “What’s this giant thing sticking out of my body?”

It’s shocking how many mistakes people made back then.  Unless I’m mistaken, giving this speech in front of my classmates will be a reparative experience, even if I make mistakes in my presentation.

Shocking confession. I’ve made mistakes every day of my life.  Let’s see if I’ve made mistakes in my other photos from yesterday.

Shocking confession.  I like to make up stories based on what I see around me.  What story might you make up using the photos in this post?  Don’t worry about making mistakes.

Shocking confession. One of the people pictured in today’s blog played the role of Ursula in a local production of “The Little Mermaid.”  Can you guess who that was?  Here is a song Ursula sings about mistakes being made:

Shocking confession. We’re all poor unfortunate souls who make mistakes.  Ariel makes the mistake of giving up her voice in the Disney version of “The Little Mermaid,”  but she recovers it in the end.

Shocking confession.  I’d love to see your comments about this post and I’m grateful to all who helped me create it.