Day 3284: Roads not taken

All of us have roads not taken. Some of us have regrets; some of us have reached a level of acceptance about the choices we’ve made.

Last night, I took the road of asking this question on Twitter:

My roads not taken include (1) finishing my thesis on the modern movie musical to get my Masters degree in Film Studies, (2) traveling more, (3) getting a dog, and (4) show biz. The first one I’m good with; the others still seem like possibilities to me.

Do you see roads not taken in my other images for today?

The roads I’ve taken include this: I’m revealing my Film Studies road-not-taken on National Short Film Day! Also, the rocky road to chocolate candy might not be taken by me today, even though there’s plenty of it around.

Here’s Robert Frost reciting his poem “The Road Not Taken.”

I’m going down the familiar road of including a Stephen Sondheim song in my blog posts.

The road not taken for me, up to this moment, includes sharing my attempt to do justice to a Stephen Sondheim song with my voice and my new ukulele.

Another road not taken for me includes doing a version of that I’m happy with, which might be further up the road.

As we move on to the end of this blog post road, I’ll take the opportunity to thank all who ease my way along the road of life, including YOU.

Day 3202: You’re only as good as your last _______.

“You’re only as good as your last …” is a phrase I’ve heard completed many different ways. For example:

Personally, I don’t think we’re only as good as our last anything. I think our goodness outlasts and is not exclusively dependent on our most recent activity or accomplishment. As I tell people in my therapy groups, we’re human beings, not human doings. If our sense of worth is irrevocably tied to the last thing we’ve done, we’re never free from self doubt and we never get a respite from constant exertions until we die.

With that in mind, I tweeted this yesterday;

If I’m only as good as my last photo …

… I’m also in trouble, although it does match up quite nicely with the last and good Daily Bitch Calendar:

I’m not only as good as my last blog post, even if the words and images are good.

This is not from Shane Filan’s last album …

… and this is not David Sanborn’s last record …

… but they’re still good.

You’re not only as good as your last comment, but please consider leaving one below.

I’m not only as good as my last expression of gratitude, but thanks to all who help me blog day after day after day, including YOU!

Day 3181: Self Acceptance

Yesterday, I asked this question about self acceptance on Twitter:

Many people responded about the positive and healing aspects of self acceptance. Some people expressed a belief/fear that if they accepted themselves exactly the way they are, they would stay stuck, be settling for less, and would never change.

My observation and experience is that self acceptance is usually the first step to being balanced, present, and more able to see the way clear to taking the next positive and achievable step towards self improvement.

Personally, I find self acceptance freeing and energizing. Do you see self acceptance in my other images for today?

My sense is that the Daily Bitch accepts herself exactly the way she is.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “self acceptance.”

What are your thoughts and feelings about self acceptance?

Please accept my gratitude for your acceptance, here and now!

Day 3163: Say Yes to the Mess

“Say Yes to the Mess” is something I put on a t-shirt years ago.

I chose to wear that t-shirt yesterday, partly because we’re all imperfectly messy human beings, trying to deal with the mess we’ve made — climate change, racism, pandemics, wars, etc. etc.

Little did I know that I would be wearing that same t-shirt to the Emergency Room this morning because of the first nosebleed I’ve ever gotten in my life, which started last night at 2 AM and is showing no signs of abating as I’m writing this.

What a mess!

I’ve had no choice but to say yes to many messes in my life. Saying “yes” doesn’t mean I like the messes; saying “yes” means I accept the reality of them and do my best to deal with them while staying positive. It also means accepting the intrinsic messiness of being alive while figuring out the next achievable step to move forward.

Let’s say yes to the mess in today’s images as I wait for a doctor to show up to stop my current mess.

A doctor just came in and we’re figuring out a way to say yes to this mess and to get me home soon!

Say yes to a mess of gratitude from me to you!

Day 3086: betrayed, bewildered

Lest you feel betrayed, bewildered by today’s title, I shall start this post by sharing two tweets I sent last night:

Nobody guessed the answer to my pop quiz but several people felt betrayed, bewildered by the reappearance of a salad bar in Whole Foods at this point in the pandemic.

Here’s who said “betrayed, bewildered” in a 1996 film:

Yesterday, my non-betraying and non-bewildering life-long friend Barbara and I kept using the phrase “betrayed, bewildered” while we were discussing many bewildering interactions we’d had with other people in which we felt betrayed. The reality is that many interpersonal interactions are bewildering and seeing them as a betrayal doesn’t help — when we do that we are personalizing the situation. People are going to be themselves no matter what you do and it doesn’t help to expect “you” from them.

What did help Barbara and me yesterday was to realize we were not alone in feeling betrayed, bewildered and to laugh together about all those interactions that had us temporarily feeling bewildered and betrayed before reaching a level of acceptance and peace.

I hope you don’t feel betrayed, bewildered by my run-on sentences or any of my other images for today.

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Here’s “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” sung by the incomparable Ella Fitzgerald.

I won’t feel betrayed, bewildered by any comment you might leave about this “betrayed, bewildered” post.

Neither betrayed nor bewildered, just grateful for you.

Day 3010: Add a positive word

I wasn’t sure what positive words I wanted to add to this post this morning until I saw this on Twitter:

Even (or especially) during difficult, uncertain, and anxiety-provoking times, it helps to add a positive word.

What positive word would you add to the jar? You can add that positive word to the comments section, below.

Now it’s time for me to add positive images to this post.

I considered adding the positive word “awareness” instead, but I want to put in a positive word for acceptance. In therapy, I often say that acceptance is the first step to change — you need to recognize and accept where you are, even if you don’t like it — before you can take the next step forward.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “add a positive word”:

That reminds me of an exercise I did with my family decades ago when we all added positive words about each other on paper. After our move to our home by the ocean, I’ve lost track my piece of paper, but the positive words are where they belong — in my heart — even if some family members are gone.

I also think I added those positive words to this blog, somewhere.

I’m positively giddy that I found some of them by searching for “family exercise,” here.

Positive words are out there. Strangely, those are often hard to accept.

As always, I add a positive word to the end of each post.

Day 2983: Weakness or strength?

I have a weakness for Twitter, where somebody recently asked, “Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?” I had the strength to answer as follows:

Do you see weakness or strength in my other images for today?

Is admitting mistakes, like today’s Daily Bitch, a sign of weakness or strength?

When I search for “weakness or strength” on YouTube, I find this:

Here’s “Strength No Weakness” by Demarjay Smith.

That reminds me that exactly a year ago, the week before lockdown, I was in Times Square in New York, attending a group therapy conference and contracting COVID. Is it weakness or strength to share that with you, here and now?

Actually, I think it’s helpful to think in terms of AND, not OR, so it’s all weakness AND strength.

Many thanks to those who help me share my weakness and strength in this daily blog, including YOU!

Day 2969: The answer

People are often looking for the answer. In order to know what the answer is, we probably need to know what the question is.

Is the answer in today’s Daily Bitch calendar?

Is the answer on Twitter?

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Is the answer in the photos I took yesterday?

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Is the answer in the video featured in this tweet?

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Is the answer in other videos posted by The Dodo, like this one …

… or this one?

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Is the answer in the comments section, below?

Is the answer in expressing gratitude, here and now?

Day 2906: Today is a special day

Today is a special day because I’m alive, against all odds, and so are you.

Today is a special day because I have special images to share.

Today is a special day because I swear that I don’t care if I f*ck shit up today. I have spent far too many of my special days worrying about f*cking shit up and, believe me, I am not the one who is f*cking shit up now.

Today is a special day because I found an open spot on the crowded list for a remote Open Mic this Friday evening. If you want to join the audience for my special performance of “People Who Hate People,” you have three special days to sign up using this link:

https://www.signupgenius.com/go/9040b4eadaa23a2f49-jamn17

Here is Mr. Rogers with “Today is a Very Special Day.”

Today is a special day because I get to facilitate a “Coping and Healing” group and I get to see your comments on this blog.

As always, I am grateful for every special day I spend with you!

Day 2808: It’s a beautiful day

It’s a beautiful day to

• blog,
• return to my work as a group and individual psychotherapist after a long staycation,
• let go of worry about the future,
• let go of regret about the past,
• be in the moment,
• show up,
• be gentle,
• tell the truth,
• take achievable next steps,
• stay safe,
• look up,
• look down,
• look all around,
• listen carefully,
• trust myself to figure things out,
• accept all feelings,
• recognize that I cannot change others but I can change myself,
• lose my investment in the outcome,
• stay committed to the process,
• recognize and use my personal power,
• be aware of internalized and unconscious messages,
• do more of what helps,
• do less of what doesn’t help,
• just be,
• make long lists, and
• share these photos.

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It’s a beautiful day to hide in my office at home (which I’m doing right now as I’m creating this blog).

It’s a beautiful day to share “It’s a Beautiful Day” by Tohpati (featuring Moonlight Project).

It’s a beautiful day when I find out about an Indonesian jazz guitarist and songwriter whose “most significant influence came from Pat Metheny.”

Is it a beautiful day to comment on a blog?

It’s a beautiful day to express gratitude, so thanks to all those who make my days more beautiful, including YOU.