Yesterday, in my office, two imperfect human beings discussed imperfections. We talked about how people look in the mirror and focus only on imperfections, ignoring the positives that others seem to observe. I suggested the practice of accepting and loving oneself, imperfections and all.
Do you see any imperfections in my photos from yesterday?
Yesterday, I said imperfectly, “Nobody puts Ann in a corner.” I think we’ve established that we can’t say the same about Carl.
Do we accept that seeing that worn-down sign got me thinking about what we accept?
Should we accept everything? Do we accept injustice, cruelty, and other unacceptable things?
I believe that radical acceptance — recognizing and accepting completely the realities of the moment — is necessary before we can move toward change and improvements.
Do we accept that?
Do you accept my other photos from yesterday?
I make a wish that we have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Writing yesterday’s blog post inspired me to buy that ticket to see James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt perform at Boston’s Fenway Park in August. Even though I’ve said, “I’ll buy that!” about lots of concert tickets and many Bonnie Raitt albums and James Taylor CDs, I’ve never seen either of them in person.
I can’t wait to see them. Do you buy that?
Do you buy that my boyfriend Michael said, “I’ll buy that!” about one of the items shown in these pictures?
What do you think Michael bought? Buy the way, I took something away from the yard sale, too. If you buy into guessing what Michael bought and what I chose, I’ll provide the answers, by and buy.
Because we recently said, “I’ll buy that!” to a home by the ocean, we’ll be moving those two things and other things we’ve bought, very soon.
Do you buy that my ex-husband said this to me yesterday?
You’re scary when you’re angry.
I found that difficult to buy, because I never see myself as scary, even when I’m angry. Maybe that’s because I’m a 5’3″ 64-year-old woman without weapons. Do you buy that I LIKED being seen as scary by my ex, who is very big and strong? Do you buy that we both shook hands soon after he said that?
When I help people join my therapy groups, I tell them we will work on doing more of what helps and less of what doesn’t help. I help people understand that by saying, “What helps and what doesn’t help might include thoughts, behaviors, and other people.” Because it helps to change old habits by writing things down, I helpfully suggest they keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help them.
Because it helps to know you’re not alone, I explain that I also keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help me.
I don’t want to make any messes here in the blogging world, but yesterday the topic of my therapy group was “Messes.”
That’s the mess I made last night, as we all got messes down on paper. My mess was actually messier than it looks in that photo, because I actually spilled cracker crumbs all over it. Because I made a mess of taking that picture, you can’t read all that I wrote. However, I will tell you that I messily shared at the end of the group session my inspiration to make a new t-shirt that says, “Say YES to the mess.”
Why is it important to say YES to the mess? Because we are all messes, in ways, even though we may think we need to appear neat and organized to others.
Before the group last night, I was dealing with lots of messes related to
miscommunication,
mistakes,
broken promises,
fear,
worry,
shame,
guilt,
misunderstandings,
distrust,
anger,
loss,
regret,
pain,
insecurity,
health,
health care,
health care bills,
politics,
lawyers,
guns, and
money.
Here‘s another fine mess: “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” by the late Warren Zevon.
Here are all the other messes I photographed yesterday:
Please don’t be afraid to make messes in the comments section, below.
Messy thanks to all who helped me create this mess of a post and to you — of course! — for all the beautiful messes you bring.
