Day 2486: Shocking confession. I’ve made mistakes.

Shocking confession.  I often steal the titles for these posts.

I’m wondering if this shocks my old friend Lawry, a lawyer who specializes in intellectual property and who used to read this blog every day.  Shocking confession: Lawry and I are both attending our 45th college reunion this weekend.

Shocking confession: I keep rewriting the first paragraph of the five-minute “Ted Talk” I’m giving at the reunion, which includes shocking confessions.

Everyone in our class, I’m sure, remembers where you were on November 22, 1963.  I’m different from you.  I have no memories of that day, because I was having heart surgery to get my first cardiac pacemaker. While the world was being traumatized by the assassination of President Kennedy, my family and I were being traumatized by that unexpected surgery, by hospital rules preventing parents from staying with their children, and by medical staff not knowing how to answer the questions of a frightened 10-year-old girl, like “What’s that coffin on the TV screen?” and “What’s this giant thing sticking out of my body?”

It’s shocking how many mistakes people made back then.  Unless I’m mistaken, giving this speech in front of my classmates will be a reparative experience, even if I make mistakes in my presentation.

Shocking confession. I’ve made mistakes every day of my life.  Let’s see if I’ve made mistakes in my other photos from yesterday.

Shocking confession.  I like to make up stories based on what I see around me.  What story might you make up using the photos in this post?  Don’t worry about making mistakes.

Shocking confession. One of the people pictured in today’s blog played the role of Ursula in a local production of “The Little Mermaid.”  Can you guess who that was?  Here is a song Ursula sings about mistakes being made:

Shocking confession. We’re all poor unfortunate souls who make mistakes.  Ariel makes the mistake of giving up her voice in the Disney version of “The Little Mermaid,”  but she recovers it in the end.

Shocking confession.  I’d love to see your comments about this post and I’m grateful to all who helped me create it.

 

Day 2476: It’s okay!

Yesterday, somebody in a “Coping and Healing” group suggested that we share thoughts and feelings about “It’s okay,” especially since the week before we had focused on “It’s NOT okay.”

I hope it’s okay that I share what I wrote in that group:

It’s okay that my “It’s okay!” poem is on its side.

Here are more photos residing on my okay iPhone:

 

 

It’s okay that I missed last night’s spectacular sunset, because I was facilitating the Coping and Healing group.  Yes, somebody else took that much-more-than-okay last photo.

Here‘s OK (Anxiety Anthem) by Mabel:

 

Whatever comment you choose to leave, it’s okay.

I know it’s okay for me to end these posts with gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create another okay post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2426: Say YES to …

Yesterday morning, after saying YES to sharing another daily blog post, I looked at a previously published post, also titled “Messes,’ and found this:

I will tell you that I messily shared at the end of the group session my inspiration to make a new t-shirt that says, “Say YES to the mess.”

Over two years later, I am belatedly saying YES to that intention by designing and ordering this t-shirt:

I said YES to that typestyle of “Say YES to the Mess” because it’s called “Unkempt.” YES!

Here on this blog, and also in my therapy groups, we often discuss how and when to say NO, but it’s equally important to know how and when to say YES.

Say YES to …

… listening to music you love.

Say YES to …

… being mindful and non-judgmental of your moods.

Say YES to …

… observing what’s around you.

Say YES to …

… long life by practicing good habits.

Say YES to …

… the most valuable people in your life.

Say YES to …

… creating your dreams, even if it’s just one.

Say YES to …

… welcoming all.

Say YES to …

… whimsey.

Say YES to …

… the dress (I THINK that’s what that is).

Say YES to …

… beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

Say YES to …

… staying in touch.

Say YES to …

… curiosity, partnership, empathy, apology (when appropriate), reflection, legitimization, support, and wellness.

Say YES to …

… sharing what’s important to you with other people.

Say YES to …

 

… feelings.

Say YES to …

… flowers.

Say YES to …

… safety.

Say YES to …

… love.

Say YES to …

… healthy hearts, fewer worries, and good sleep!

Say YES to …

… group support.

Say YES to …

… taking the stairs.

Say YES to …

… Yoko, a valued member of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy executive board, who says YES to fresh fruit in her drinks and who also says YES to sitting with Oscar.

What do YOU say YES to?

Here‘s “Ascent” by Lyle Mays (featured, yes, in this post).

I always say YES to gratitude at the end of these posts, so thanks to all who helped me create this one and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Day 2419: Keep doing what you’re doing

“Keep doing what you’re doing” is

• something I’ve written on my white board and on prescription pads at work,
• often a validating, supportive, and encouraging phrase,
• a non-judgmental acceptance of habitual behavior, and
• a new title for this blog.

Because WordPress and my laptop keep doing what they’re doing,

• I can’t save a post while I’m writing it and
• only some of my photos are loading today.

Keep doing what you’re doing, including smiling,

scanning,

welcoming,

watching,

noticing signs,

celebrating,

avoiding danger,

and focusing on what’s important to you.

I keep doing groups and I keep doing rhymes.  Yesterday, I wrote this rhyme in a group focusing on “the unexpected.”

The unexpected

Needs to  be respected

And not neglected

And definitely accepted.

People keep listening to this podcast interview about my heart keeping on:

https://tinyurl.com/y43gqqvf

I keep sharing what I’m sharing in this blog, including this song by Anita Wilson:

Keep doing what you’re doing and if that includes commenting on this blog, thank you!

I keep expressing gratitude every day for the help I receive from others, including YOU.

Day 2415: Weirdness

When I search for “weirdness” in this blog, Weird WordPress tells me that weirdness exists in 2 out of my previous 2414 posts, a weirdness percentage of only 0.08%.

Since I look for weirdness (in addition to looking for love),   I would have expected a much higher weirdness percentage. Nevertheless, as always, the weirdness in me honors the weirdness in you.

Today, we’re looking for love AND weirdness in my photos from yesterday.

I took that last photo because of this weirdness:

1. “Narcissist Foundation Stick” and
2. Mascara is listed under “face” instead of “eyes.”

And is non-vegan arugula even a thing?  Weirdness.

Here’s “AMAZING VIDEO WEIRDNESS” compiled by CDTcrew.

Here’s some weirdness from the comments for that video:

christian style swag on god
5 years ago
This video is the reason I haven’t killed myself yet.

Anton Sinner
5 years ago
You’re doing god’s work.

Guetto Con Botas
6 years ago
Like if U are a disco dancer (Y)

gred cz
6 years ago
80s and 90s were awesome…i want them back…

Daniel Etheridge
6 years ago
Thats enough internet for today.

Moshugaani
7 years ago
To think of all the phantastical things contained on this Earth…

VideoVast
7 years ago
No one brought me here

I’m looking forward to the weirdness in your comments.

I’m very grateful for the weirdness in me and in others (including YOU).

Day 2408: Accepted

Yesterday, I got this message from my son Aaron:

Hi, my fringe show has been accepted. There are shows from the 20th to the 24th.

Since Aaron and I both applied many months ago to perform our own shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival  (which starts in August), we’ve accepted the ever-growing possibility that neither of our shows would be accepted.

My son and I accepted the process of waiting to hear about our shows  very differently — I kept holding out hope (until  very recently) that we would both be accepted and Aaron very quickly accepted the stance of assuming that both of our shows would not go on.

I hope Aaron accepted both of my responses to his wonderful news:

Great!

What can we learn from this?

I hope you’ve accepted my intent there: to invite Aaron to hold on to hope in the future.

Personally, because I’ve accepted years of uncertainty dealing with medical issues from birth, it helps me to hold onto hope.  I’ve accepted that other people deal with uncertainty very differently. (It’s accepted that I sometimes say this in my Coping and Healing groups: “Different strokes for different folks.”)

I’ve also accepted that I probably will not get a Fringe show, which was titled Group “Therapy” with Ann. However, if I do get accepted, I’m ready!

In the meantime, YouTube has accepted a two-minute version of Free Therapy with Ann.

Aaron was accepted to teach English in Jordan this month, so when he gets back here on July 20th, we’ll make sure that YouTube accepts a longer version of that.

Also, I applied yesterday to join a panel in September for my 45th reunion at Harvard on “Picking up the Pieces: How Did You Embrace Life and Find Happiness Again?” In my application, I offered to talk about dealing with conflicting medical advice and finally getting a mechanical heart valve in 2016 (a process well documented and accepted on this blog). I wonder if my application will be accepted, especially since I offered to perform my original song “Shameless Appeals for Applause.”

Five years ago, I applied to be on a “Voices of Our Class” panel at my college reunion, and my application was not accepted.  I’ve accepted that often you have to try, try again.

In other “accepted” news, I’ve been accepted by the “Heart to Heart with Anna” podcast to be interviewed about my life with congenitally corrected transposition of the great arteries (cctga).

I hope that my photos from yesterday are accepted by my readers:

I’ve accepted that my boyfriend Michael doesn’t like to be photographed for this blog, but I think he can accept that last photo, above.

As always, your comments are accepted, below.

I think it’s accepted here that I’ll be ending my posts  with thanks to all who help me create them and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2378: Practicing happiness

Yesterday, at a Coping and Healing group where we were practicing reframes, forgiveness, the serenity prayer,  acceptance of ourselves and others, and some new perspectives,  one of the group members spoke about the concept of practicing happinesss — much like one practices a musical instrument. We practiced that by going around the room and naming specific ways we could practice happiness, starting now.

One of my named ways to practice happiness was listening to music I love.

I heard “Down the Line” last night by Jacob Collier (who has obviously been practicing a lot) as I was walking down the line through the Fenway after work.

I’ve also been practicing happiness daily by blogging and by taking the photos I share here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.  Can you see any examples of practicing happiness in today’s pictures?

 

Voila!  When you practice happiness, just like when you practice anything else, you get better at it.

I look forward to practicing happiness later by reading comments, below, about how you might practice happiness, here and now.

Practicing happiness includes expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me write this practicing-happiness post and thanks to you, for reading it.

 

Day 2305: Denial

No denial here that I’ve already written one post titled “Denial.”

No denial here that I’m surprised I haven’t written more posts about denial, because there’s so much denial around, including understandable human denial about the devastating effects of climate change. It’s been difficult for me to remain in denial since I followed that link in my previous sentence to read that interview with David Wallace-Wells, the author of The Uninhabitable Earth. 

There’s definitely denial in my photos from yesterday.

Maybe I’m in denial, but I can’t find the Bee Gees “Nigt Fever” on YouTube, so here‘s “Stayin’ Alive” instead.

All your thoughts and emotions about denial are welcome, below.

Undeniable thanks to all who helped me create today’s denial post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2300: Up for anything

Now that I’m up for the day, I can tell you that lately I’ve been up for anything, including

• doing my taxes,
• getting tasks off my plate more quickly,
• writing lyrics and music,
• figuring out harmonies for “Nobody’s Perfect”, which I co-wrote and will be co-singing with Social Work intern Nat Shirley,
• performing music in front of people,
• doing presentations at work,
• facilitating five therapy groups a week,
• serving as President of a group therapy professional organization,
• reaching out to new people,
• blogging daily,
• saying “yes” to things I want to say “yes” to,
• saying “no” to things I want to say “no” to,
• quieting my harsh inner critic,
• taking classes,
• binge watching RuPaul’s Drag Race,
• dancing,
• accepting and giving compliments,
• asking for what I want, and
• Michael’s home-cooked meals,

I’m up for sharing the lyrics of “Nobody’s Perfect” if you’re up for reading them.

Nobody’s Perfect

Nobody’s perfect, even us two.

We try to be perfect,

But that doesn’t do.

We both make mistakes.

In that, we’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect.

Nothing is more true.

Nobody’s perfect, even your friends.

If you’re expecting perfection

Those friendships may end.

Friends make mistakes.

In that they’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect.

Nothing is more true.

Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,

Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,

It makes your thoughts and feelings uncomfortably sludgy,

With mean self-flagellation even if you’re slightly pudgy.

(if an instrumentalist joins us)

Nobody’s perfect.

Even us three.

Letting go of perfection

Helps us to be free.

Ann: She and he aren’t perfect,

In that, they’re like me.

Together: Nobody’s perfect,

You, them, or we.

Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,

Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,

Expectations turn unrealistic and sludgy,

It’s a crime and a sin even if you’re just pudgy.

Nobody’s perfect.

Even a star.

Stars need to look perfect,

But they never are.

Stars make mistakes,

In that they’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect

And that’s perfectly true.

© Ann Koplow, 2019

Are you up for my photos from yesterday?

I’m up for anything, including sharing this first attempt by Nat and me to create harmonies for “Nobody’s Perfect.”

 

 

I’m up for telling you that Nat wrote the melody for “Nobody’s Perfect.” I may not be up for singing that high when we perform it, so we may have to lower it.

Now I’m up for your comments, which you can make below.

I’m definitely up for thanking those who helped me create this up-for-anything post (especially Nat), and — of course! — YOU, for being up for anything in this blog.

 

Day 2279: Everything will be okay in the end.

The title of today’s post leaves off the end of a quote from John Lennon:

Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

In the end, everything will be okay in my previously unshared and recent photos.

If it’s not okay, it’s not the end of my photos or my blog posts.

Everything will be okay in the end with the two songs I’m deciding to share today (here and here on YouTube).

Everything will be okay in the end of each post, because I express my thanks to all who help me create this daily blog and — of course! — to YOU.