When I write notes for my Coping and Healing groups, the list of discussed topics usually includes “what we can and cannot control.”
I often say, in group and elsewhere, that we cannot control other people’s behaviors but we can control how we react to them.
Last night, I couldn’t control how people in the 5:30 group responded to the breaking news of Trump being indicted, but I could control my response (which was to name their happy giddiness and then reinforce the structure of the group).
Do you see control in my images for today?
It seems that the Daily Bitch, who is funny that way, has trouble controlling her bladder.
During the almost-two-year process of repairing the severe water damage in our upstairs bathroom, there were so many things I couldn’t control, but I could control my reactions plus the tile choices for the remodel. Here’s the video the shower door installer created yesterday of the now-finished project:
You can’t control what I blog about, but you can control how you respond (perhaps with a comment, below).
I can control how I end these blog posts, which is always with gratitude for YOU.
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence,” which speaks to the cognitive distortion of comparison, where we see ourselves and our circumstances as lesser than other people and their situations.
Now that we’ve gotten to the other side of that opening run-on sentence, I can tell you that today is Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day, which according to the National Days website “reminds people to appreciate what they have instead of focusing on what other people have. This is a great day to practice gratitude for all the good things in your life and remind yourself that no matter how good things look on the other side, you never know the whole story.”
In other words, don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides — a phrase I have written on my white board at work.
I just tried unsuccessfully to find a picture of “don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides” on my white board, but I found this instead:
In that photo of a neighbor’s yard, the grass is always browner on the other side of the fence (but the dog doesn’t seem to care).
I know this is a stretch, but the bathroom tile is always browner on the other side of the shower door, which is being installed today.
In other shower news, I can get rid of the intermittent banging noises in the pipes simply by lowering the water temperature, which is probably for the best. I’m glad to be on the other side of the fence of the anger I blogged about yesterday.
I’m on the fence about whether today’s other images are appropriate for Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day. What do you think?
I can’t even imagine being on the other side of the fence of 12 hours of sleep, but I’m not going to compare my insides to the Daily Bitch’s outsides.
Here’s what’s on the other side of the fence at YouTube:
Thanks to all who are on the other side of the fence with me here and now, including YOU!
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence,” which speaks to the cognitive distortion of comparison, where we see ourselves and our circumstances as lesser than other people and their situations.
Now that we’ve gotten to the other side of that opening run-on sentence, I can tell you that today is Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day, which according to the National Days website “reminds people to appreciate what they have instead of focusing on what other people have. This is a great day to practice gratitude for all the good things in your life and remind yourself that no matter how good things look on the other side, you never know the whole story.”
In other words, don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides — a phrase I have written on my white board at work.
I just tried unsuccessfully to find a picture of “don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides” on my white board, but I found this instead:
In that photo of a neighbor’s yard, the grass is always browner on the other side of the fence (but the dog doesn’t seem to care).
I know this is a stretch, but the bathroom tile is always browner on the other side of the shower door, which is being installed today.
In other shower news, I can get rid of the intermittent banging noises in the pipes simply by lowering the water temperature, which is probably for the best. I’m glad to be on the other side of the fence of the anger I blogged about yesterday.
I’m on the fence about whether today’s other images are appropriate for Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day. What do you think?
I can’t even imagine being on the other side of the fence of 12 hours of sleep, but I’m not going to compare my insides to the Daily Bitch’s outsides.
Here’s what’s on the other side of the fence at YouTube:
Thanks to all who are on the other side of the fence with me here and now, including YOU!
Some people believe that depression is anger directed at the self. I am trying to avoid depression, here and now, by expressing my anger in this blog.
I have anger about
my country’s inability to ban assault weapons,
the erosion of the truth in public discourse,
systemic injustices towards marginalized people,
passive aggressiveness and other gaslighting behaviors, and
the intermittent, loud knocking in the walls when we use our new shower, which the plumber says can’t be fixed without tearing down walls.
Now that I’ve named those causes of my anger, I can think about what I can and can’t do to mitigate them (which helps me, at least).
Do you see anger in any of my images for today?
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I get angry when I see “Texas Loves the Children Day” and think about the children in Texas killed by gun violence, but I’m not angry about this description:
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Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “anger”:
I appreciate that talk about anger, especially this comparison of anger to a child: you don’t want to let it drive the car, but you also don’t want to stuff it in the trunk.
Thanks to those who help me accept and express anger and all my other feelings, including YOU!
Last week, when the social workers at my hospital gathered together in person for the first time in three years for a team-building event, I didn’t think “here comes trouble” because I have a high level of immunity to COVID (completely boosted, with a recent bout of the virus in February).
When the social workers were asked to briefly introduce ourselves and perhaps include our favorite ice cream flavor, I said my name, where I worked in the hospital, “Rocky Road, and I’m wearing socks that say ‘here comes trouble.’”
Here comes trouble: since then, I’ve wondered if saying I was wearing “here comes trouble” socks was too
Here comes trouble — human minds usually search for the negatives to try to keep ourselves safe, but that can cause useless and troubling thoughts. There’s enough real trouble in the world without wasting time on “here comes trouble” cognitive distortions, like mind-reading.
Here comes some personal, health-related trouble. Before I test my INR with my home device every other Sunday morning, I’m feeling “here comes trouble” feelings and thinking “here comes trouble” thoughts. Here comes the explanation: if the number that appears on my measuring device is not between the small range of 3.0 – 3.5, here comes trouble for me. Since I had a mini-stroke in September when my INR was 2.4, I have the trouble of needing to give myself an injection if the number is below 2.7. Also, if the INR number is too low, my mechanical heart valve could get clogged and need replacement with another very troubling open heart surgery. And if the number is above 3.5, that could cause troubling bleeding.
Whenever I test my INR, I always have to wait what feels like a troublingly long time (probably only about 10 seconds) to find out if here comes trouble. Here comes my INR result for today from here-comes-trouble me …
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Here comes relief! Now I’ll wait another two weeks to see if here comes trouble again.
Let’s see if here comes trouble in my other images for today.
Because I do my best to keep my INR in the no-trouble range by eating the right amount of spinach — which contains anti-coagulating vitamin K — every single day, here comes my celebration of National Spinach and Spinach Festival Day!
Last night, on an empty-stomach walk before dinner, my husband Michael and I discussed
how the new toilet’s fill tank stays empty too long after flushing,
our lives that are thankfully not empty of wonderful people and cats, and
politicians (including speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Kevin McCarthy) who seem empty of integrity, honesty, and a soul, which made me think of the The Hollow Menby T.S. Eliot.
I don’t want this blog post to be empty of poetry, so here’s that poem:
Do you see any things that are empty in my images for today?
There are a lot of empty conspiracy theories out there, spread by empty people.
I’m sure that YouTube is not empty of “empty” videos.
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This is the way my blogs end, this is the way my blogs end, this is the way my blogs end, not with a bang but a thank you.
Yesterday, on OK day, I figured it would be okay to ask people on Twitter a question related to that — like “what helps you feel okay?” — and I decided to go with a simple yes or no question: “Are you okay?”
While I usually think yes-or-no questions are just okay and not as good as open-ended questions, I went with “are you okay?” probably because I really would have appreciated hearing that question at difficult moments in my life. As a matter of fact, I wrote a blog post many years ago when I was not so okay, citing these “are you okay” lyrics from the song “Smooth Criminal”:
I truly wish people had asked me “Are you okay?” (repeatedly, without taking “yes” for an answer) when I was a brave little girl in the hospital not admitting how scary it was to be experiencing many heart-related surgeries.
And I like hearing “Are you okay?” as an adult, because it tells me that people care enough to ask and hear an honest answer.
Are you okay with this blog post so far and are you okay with these images I want to share with you today?
Are you okay with this video I found on YouTube by searching with “are you okay?”
Are you okay? I really want to know.
Thanks to all who ask and answer the question “are you okay?” — including YOU!
Whenever I do my groups, read your comments, or connect with other people, I know that no one is alone.
Last night, I was alone when I went to the latest production of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods in Boston, which includes the song “No One Is Alone.”
Even those of us who had come to the theatre alone last night knew that no one is alone when we heard Stephen Sondheim’s beautifully unifying music and lyrics. We also knew that no one is alone as we cheered and applauded together as one, after every single song throughout the performance.
Do you see evidence that no one is alone in my images for today?
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No one is alone if they love kittens or puppies, have near misses, realize they’re OK, or talk about the weather on World Meteorological Day.
No one is alone struggling to deal with the aftermath of the pandemic. Today, I’ll know that no one is alone when, for the first time in over three years, I attend a social workers meeting in-person at the hospital where I work.
Thanks to all those who help us realize that no one is alone, including YOU!
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 