Day 1492: Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two

For Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two days, I’ve been blogging at WordPress. For about Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two months divided by two, I’ve been aware of this rhyme:

In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two,

Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

This inspires me to write my own rhymes this morning.

In the year Two Thousand and Seventeen

There’ve been some things that I’ve never seen.

A President who makes quick decisions

That hurt me like my old incisions.

I get few hours of precious peace

At cardiac rehab with the great Danise.

You see that chin? Danise is grabbin’ it

Cuz she knows I’d put her on my cabinet

If I ever got elected President.

I’m thankful I’m a long-time resident

Of a part of this divided country

Where lots of others agree with me.

Danise’s relative showed in a tweet

A change of opinion that seems complete.

It hurts when I hear of access restricted.

I cry when the innocent are convicted.

I wonder who is certified smart

And I fear for the future of music and art.

A teabag that speaks out about peace

Provides me a small piece of release.

My boyfriend Michael and my absent son Aaron

Bake a dish together that’s perfect for sharin’.

At the end of the day I get a ration

Of tea, beauty, and some compassion.

In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two,

Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

It was a courageous thing to do

But someone was already here.

And I’m grateful you’re here and there.

 

Day 1491: Too much

Yesterday was a day of too much, so I hope this post doesn’t contain too much for my readers.

Early in the day, I met with my friends Janet and Ray, with whom I’ve had too much fun over the years, and we had too much to eat for brunch.  Janet, Ray, and I  talked about too much, including how the new President of the United States had done too much during his first week in office.  We wondered if it was all too much for the country.

Then, I went to Janet and Ray’s wonderful home in West Boylston, Massachusetts, which has too much space for any two people with grown children.  I loved their place too much and took too much time taking pictures. I told Janet that, with all those photos,  creating today’s blog post might be too much for me. When I have too much to share, I often include too much imagery without too much explanation.

After I spent too much quality time with Janet, Ray, and their son Spencer,  I took too much of my realtor’s time on the phone trying to decide whether to put a bid on a house which might have too much space for me and my boyfriend  and which has a price that might be too much.

Finally, just when I thought I’d experienced too much for one day, I took a phone call from Joyce from a professional psychotherapy society.

I had too much concern that Joyce was going to ask me to serve on a committee.  I had decided that would be too much for me, since I’m recovering from too much heart surgery. Instead, Joyce asked me if I wanted to be President.  Because that was too much to take in, I asked

President of what?

Now I need to decide, before too much time passes, whether being President of that amazing organization would be too much for me. Because I don’t have too much confidence about my  Presidential skills, I wrote too much about that to Janet, including this:

I am in a state of shock right now because I just got a call from a member of my professional group psychotherapy organization and THEY ASKED IF I WANTED TO BE PRESIDENT! A very big deal. I didn’t see that coming. My explanation for this is that this is part of the national trend of having Presidents with no experience.

Have I written too much?

Would seventy photos from yesterday be too much for you?

 

If  any of those photos are causing too much eyestrain, you can enlarge any one without too much effort just by clicking on it.

I’m choosing this song without taking too much time to think about it:

Any comment you might leave would not be too much for me. It would be just right.

As usual, I have too much gratitude for all who helped me create this post and for you, of course!

Day 1490: Dreams

Because dreams are so important to me, I’ve written several posts about dreams (including here, here, here, here, here, here,  and here) since I started dreaming this blog. When I look at those previous dreamy posts, I realize I wrote each one never dreaming we’d have the U.S. President we have today.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night from a very scary dream where morphing people and frightening creatures were staring me in the face and grasping me by the hand.  I immediately posted on Facebook:

I was having a bad dream and just woke up to another bad dream.

My friend Marc Zegans soon replied with this dream of a comment:

Here‘s something a little sweeter to dream by.

Before I had those dreams, I spent yesterday looking at a possible dream house for me and my dreamy boyfriend Michael with our dream of a real estate agent, Jane C. Hoffmann.

While I was taking photos of Jane, she was also taking photos of me and Michael (which was probably a nightmare for him, since he hates to have his picture taken).

Today, we might make an offer on a dreamy house by the sea in Quincy, Massachusetts. If we don’t end up in that dream house, we’ll end up in another one.

Quincy, by the way,  is called “The City of Presidents.”  I wonder if John Adams,  John Quincy Adams, or John Hancock — who were all born in Quincy —  ever dreamed we’d have the kind of U.S. President we have today.

In four days, I’ll be turning 64 years old, an age nobody ever dreamed I’d reach when I was born in 1953 with a very unusual heart.

I shall now look to all the other dreamy photos I took yesterday for ideas about how to live and dream in the future:

I trust you know I have the intelligence and integrity to express my thanks to all who helped me create this dream of a post and to you — of course! — for your dream of a visit, here and now.

Day 1489: When we wake up in the middle of the night

When you wake up in the middle of the night, what do you do?

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I

• think about the past,
• worry about the future,
• go to the bathroom,
• try to get back to sleep,
• listen to the sound of my new mechanical heart valve,
• tell myself that I am safe enough in the moment,
• answer outstanding comments on my blog,
• compose a new blog post,
• try to compose myself,
• look at my latest photos:

• remember things I forgot to do (like put a worry doll under my pillow),
• listen to music,

• and feel gratitude for all that I have, including my amazing readers!

Day 1488: Showing Up

Lately, a lot of people have been showing up for my therapy groups.  Last night, “Showing Up” showed up as a topic.

Some people showing up last night thought that “Life is just showing up” was a variant of a quote by Woody Allen. Here’s how that quote is showing up in my Google search:

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” — Woody Allen

“Eighty percent of life is showing up.” — Woody Allen

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”  — Woody Allen

As usual, different versions of the truth are showing up.

I’ve been showing up more frequently on Twitter:

“Get over it” has never helped anyone get over anything.

There needs to be a new diagnostic code for Trump-related anxiety.

That last tweet showed up because so many people are showing up in my office with Trump-related anxiety.

New photos have been showing up on my iPhone, which means they’ll be showing up in this blog post.

That’s Harley, showing up in the kitchen on some of my clothes. Harley’s fear of the camera is showing up less these days.

A song called “Showing Up” is showing up on YouTube:

Alex G is showing up near the ocean in that video. I wonder if I’ll be showing up near the ocean any time soon?

While I’m not sure exactly how, when, or where I’ll be showing up today, I do know I’ll be showing up at cardiac rehab at 9 AM.

What’s been showing up for you?  How have you been showing up?

I wonder if asking those questions will result in comments showing up, below.

Thanks to all who helped me create this “Showing Up” post and to you — of course! — for showing up, here and now.

Day 1487: What is your greatest strength?

What is your greatest strength?

One of my greatest strengths is asking questions.

Earlier this week, I asked people in a therapy group what their greatest strengths were.  When somebody replied, “I don’t have any strength,” I changed my question to “What are your positive qualities?”

One of my greatest strengths is noticing interesting things around me and taking pictures of them.

It looks like Siri’s greatest strengths include answering questions but NOT driving a car.

A lot of women in the 1970s, including me, saw great strengths in the late Mary Tyler Moore.

Another one of my greatest strengths is expressing appreciation for others.  Thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for all your strengths (even if you don’t feel strong).

Day 1486: You don’t want to do that

I don’t want to do overgeneralization (or any other cognitive distortion), but most people don’t want others to tell them what they do want or don’t want to do.

I don’t want to break confidentiality, so I won’t identify the person in therapy yesterday who expressed frustration with a family member who tells others what they want, don’t want, or otherwise experience.

I don’t want to brag, but two years ago I made a t-shirt that says, “The Expert on My Own Experience.” I don’t want to give that t-shirt away, but I think my therapy patient could use that t-shirt, especially when dealing with that opinionated family member.

I don’t want to be too negative about the near future, but I posted this on Facebook last night:

I survived open heart surgery, but how will my heart survive the next four years?

You don’t want to miss  all my photos from yesterday:

 

You don’t want to pay $20,078.33 for heart surgery, especially when that charge is the result of somebody entering the wrong diagnostic code.

 

You don’t want to live on Nathan Lane, because that would be uncomfortable for both of you.

You don’t want to watch Nathan Lane in Stephen Sondheim‘s A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum?  Then don’t.

 

You don’t want to leave a comment for this post? That’s okay, too.

You don’t want to go too long without expressing gratitude, so I want to thank everyone who helped me create this post and you — of course! — for wanting to visit here, now.

Day 1485: Ask

Ask for what you want.

Ask for what you need.

Ask for help.

Ask questions.

Ask without fear.

Ask and ye shall receive.

I ask myself these questions, here and now:

• Where do I want to live?
• What will make me happy?
• How can I achieve peace?
• What can I do to make the world better?
• How much time do I have?
• What lyrics should I write to this song?

• What do you want?   A YouTube video that shows a complete performance?

• Do my readers recognize guitarist Pat Metheny and saxophonist Michael Brecker, the two musicians my surgeon played during my open heart surgery on September 21?
• When will I recover from my open heart surgery?
• How do I stay sane in today’s political environment?
• Is somebody trying to sell me something?
• How can people feel safe enough?
• How can I be welcoming to others and also feel welcomed myself?
• Where did I get the inspiration for today’s post?

This person who loves asks that you ask or answer questions in a comment below.

Finally, I ask that you accept my gratitude for all who helped me create this post and for YOU, no matter what you’re asking today.

Day 1484: All sides

Whenever I need to make an important decision, I like to look at all sides of the issue.

In order to look at all sides before making a decision, it helps to make a list of pros and cons of taking an action and also a list of pros and cons of NOT taking that action.

Yesterday, I took action and looked at all sides of many things.

 

Do you trust me to look at all sides and find two sides of a great song for this post  (here and here)?

 

 

Every day, I look at all sides to find new ways to thank those who help me create this blog and you — of course! — for being on my side, every time you visit.

Day 1483: Attitude

Yesterday, when I was expressing my feelings, somebody told me I had “attitude.”

What is the dictionary’s attitude about the word “attitude”?

at·ti·tude
ˈadəˌt(y)o͞od/
noun
1. a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.
“she took a tough attitude toward other people’s indulgences”
synonyms: view, viewpoint, outlook, perspective, stance, standpoint, position, inclination, temper, orientation, approach, reaction.
2. a position of the body proper to or implying an action or mental state.
“the boy was standing in an attitude of despair, his chin sunk on his chest”
synonyms: position, posture, pose, stance, bearing
“an attitude of prayer”
3. NORTH AMERICAN (informal)
truculent or uncooperative behavior; a resentful or antagonistic manner.
“I asked the waiter for a clean fork, and all I got was attitude”

Since I was in North America being told by a North American that I had attitude yesterday,  it’s possible that I was exhibiting truculent or uncooperative behavior and a resentful or antagonistic manner.

Here’s my attitude about that: We’re all allowed to have attitude, sometimes.

Yesterday, millions of women and other human beings showed a lot of attitude all over the world.

 

Here’s my beloved friend, Barbara, showing a welcoming attitude:

Is there attitude in my other photos from yesterday?

 

I have an attitude of  hope that you’ll express your attitude in a comment, below.

As always, I end with a gratitude attitude for all who helped me create this  post with attitude and for you — of course! — no matter what attitude you have, here and now.