Day 1640: Personal medicine, again

Because this blog is personal medicine for me, I’ve been publishing daily posts since January 1, 2013.  During that time, I’ve personally blogged twice before about personal medicine (here and here).

Yesterday, in a therapy group, it was personal medicine for all of us to share our personal medicine.

Notice that the first item on my list of personal medicine is my sister. That’s because Ellen had texted me during the group that she was in the building where I work. After the group, I had the personal medicine of hanging out with Ellen in the lobby of the hospital. She showed me a graph she had created about how Perceivers perform tasks.

Ellen showed me the personal medicine of that chart because, in Myers-Briggs lingo, I’m a perceiver and she’s a judger. I was initially interested and excited, then I got diverted by other priorities.

One of my other priorities yesterday was to go on a walk-through — with my boyfriend Michael, our realtor Jane, and the current owner —  of our very-soon-to-be-new home near the ocean.

 

It’s personal medicine for me to look at that last photo. Imagine the personal medicine of living there, after the closing today.

When Michael and I got back to our soon-to-be-not home last night, we found a note from my son Aaron. Michael did his own personal medicine of  writing back on the note.

Did you see that music is also on my list of personal medicine, above?

I hope you know your comments are also personal medicine for me. Please share your personal medicine, below.

Personal thanks to all who helped me create another personal-medicine post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1633: Tantrums

Rather than have a tantrum, let’s just define it:

tan·trum
noun
an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.
“he has temper tantrums if he can’t get his own way”
synonyms: fit of temper, fit of rage, fit, outburst, pet, paroxysm, frenzy, bad mood, mood, huff, scene; (informal) hissy fit
“how can you tolerate his tantrums?”

How can you tolerate his tantrums? Good question.  How can we tolerate anybody’s tantrums, including our own?

For example, I sometimes have tantrums when somebody uses the word “pet”  (as in the definition above) for anything other than this:

I’ve also been having  tantrums because Oscar stepped on my computer this weekend and changed the way photos are displayed, making it harder for me to blog every morning.

Can anybody tell when I’m having tantrums? I’m not sure, but I told people at work yesterday that I woke up mad, mad, mad.  Was I having a tantrum when I did that? Actually, I think sharing my feelings prevented me from having a tantrum.

Was I having tantrums when I took these photos?

Okay, now I’m having a tantrum because AS USUAL, I FORGOT TO RESTART MY COMPUTER BEFORE WRITING THIS POST AND THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN ACCESS MY FRIGGIN’ PHOTOS FROM YESTERDAY! AND WORDPRESS ISN’T SAVING MY POSTS AS I’M WRITING THEM THESE DAYS SO THIS IS SUCH A !!&$##!!??!#^&!! PAIN!!!!

Excuse me.  I’ll be right back.

Any tantrums here?

My boyfriend Michael (whose meals are good antidotes for tantrums) has lots of stories about tantrums he’s witnessed in restaurant and hotel kitchens.

Are James Taylor and his son Ben having tantrums in “Angry Blues”?

Feel free to have tantrums in a comment below.

Outbursts of gratitude and fits of frenzied thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! —  to you.  Without my readers, I’d be having tantrums every day.

 

Day 1631: See

See, I’ve already written several posts with the word “See” in the title (see Day 1354: See the love in everything, see Day 1245: What we choose to see, see Day 1202: Share how you see the world, and see Day 610: See the world). When I look at those previous posts, I see how my blogging style and choices have changed over the years. You might not see the differences, but I do.

See, the main reason I’m writing today’s “See” post is because yesterday I saw my friend Deb and we went to SEE in Harvard Square to seek new eyeglasses. See, Deb (who I’ve seen for about 50 years) and I  see eye-to-eye about many things, including  how great the frames are at SEE. Deb and I are a little concerned we won’t see each other as much when I move near the sea, but I see lots of fun times for us in the future.

Would you like to see the photos from SEE?

Do you see Christina in that last photo?  She works at SEE and is also a counseling and psychology graduate student at Lesley University. I could see a lot of great qualities in Christina that will serve her well when she sees clients in the future.

Would you like to see my other photos from yesterday?

Can you see “Happy Father’s Day” in that sign above?  I don’t get to see my late father any more, but it makes me happy to see him in this old photo of us.

I see that YouTube has this song, which I remember my father singing.

I’ll be seeing you in your comments, below.

See, I am very grateful to all who helped me see and share all the elements of this post and — of course! —  to you, for seeing my blog, here and now.

Day 1601: Stress Relief

I’m going to relieve some stress by confessing that  I wrote another post titled “Stress Relief” last August, when I had a LOT of stress needing relief, including

• my only child leaving for college in Scotland and
• my first open heart surgery.

As always, it was a relief for me to describe and let go of my stress in that post. I can’t stress enough how writing this blog is stress relief for me, every day.

Yesterday, I definitely needed some stress relief.

I did end up happy yesterday, but that took some time and work because of all this stress:

• My boyfriend Michael is away from home  helping out his brother for three days.
• We’re moving to a new place near the ocean this summer.
• Scientific reports indicate that our new house will be under water soon.
• Because of a ridiculous series of unfortunate events, I will be losing long-term disability payments for the rest of my part-time leave from work.
• I was so stressed by all the urgent calls at work yesterday that I didn’t have time to take any more photos.

As usual, it’s a relief to name my stress here.

Pat Metheny’s music is a reliable source of stress relief for me.

However,  on June 10, I’ll have the stress of deciding whether to use my ticket and see him live in concert or attend an important dinner at a group therapy conference.

It relieves my stress to realize that some of these are good problems to have.

Gratitude is always great stress relief, so thanks to all who helped me create this stress-relief post and to you — of course!  — for the relief of your presence, here and now.

Day 1600: Round numbers

Today is the 1600th day in a row of blog postings, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.  1600 is a round number and a much bigger number than expected when I began this blogging journey back on January 1, 2013.

Do you have any reactions to round numbers?  In therapy, people often describe negative reactions they have about reaching round numbers as they age. For example, somebody yesterday talked about turning 40 with a lot of self-judgment.  For some reason, when people approach round numbers, they can roundly judge themselves about their accomplishments and life situations.

A round number is just a number, no more significant than any other number. And yet,  here I am roundly noting it.

However, I am not going to get into a round of self-judgment about my posts. Instead, I’m going to post two musical round numbers (going round here and here on YouTube).

Here’s a round number of photos I took yesterday:

This is my blogging world, and I’ve tried to shape it as best I can.

A round of applause for the large number of people who’ve help me create these 1600 posts and — of course! — for you, on this round-number day.

Day 1462: A cup of kindness

For auld lang syne and for new times ahead, let’s take a cup of kindness, dears.

Here‘s Auld Lang Syne, with cups of kindness from Scandinavian Soprano Sissel Kyrkjebø:

 

Any cups or kindness in my other photos from yesterday?

In case anybody was wondering, there will be another sequel to The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally. That is, I’ll be blogging daily in 2017, sharing cups of kindness with you all.

For all your support since my first post on January 1, 2013, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Day 1459: In the dark

I’m in the dark as I’m writing this because

• the sun hasn’t come up yet,
• I’ve not turned on any lights, and
• there are so many things I don’t understand.

I took this photo when it was dark last night.

I guess I felt the need for some sunshine, although that was just somebody trying to sell me soap.

When  I’m in the dark, it helps to remember happy times, like this scene from my favorite movie:

Even though I’m in the dark about so many things, I’ll still keep  singin’ in the rain with the late Gene Kelly,  the late Donald O’Connor, and  the late Debbie Reynolds.

As light through yonder window breaks, good morning and thanks to all of you for brightening my life, here and now.

Day 1434: Face Time

Face it! For the second time in the (almost) four years that people have been facing time and having face time with my daily blog, I’m publishing a post titled “Face Time.” I wrote that previous Face Time post during the time when I was facing my first open heart surgery AND  when my only son (who has a great face) was leaving for a five-year program at the University of Edinburgh.

Now it’s time to face

• another day,
• the consequences of the U.S.  presidential election,
• my ongoing recovery from open heart surgery AND unexpected pacemaker replacement surgery,
• another New England winter,
• my son returning home on December 22 for the holidays, and
• the faces in the photos I took yesterday.

If you have the time, please tell me which faces are  your favorites.

Do you have time to face the music of “Feliz Navidad”?

 

Thanks to all the faces who helped me create today’s Face Time post and to you — of course! — for having face time with me, here and now.

 

Day 1430: Welcome

Welcome to the one thousand, four hundred and thirtieth daily blog post here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.

Yesterday, when I returned to work after a two-month medical leave, I saw welcome.

Today, I’m looking forward to welcomes at the hospital where I work and also at the hospital where I get my medical care, as we try to adjust my cardiac pacemaker to make climbing stairs and other exercise a more welcoming experience.

I try to welcome every new day with hope. So tomorrow, I’ll do my best to welcome December. I hope there will be more to welcome in that month than there was in November.

Now it’s time to welcome all my other photos from yesterday!

I believe it helps to welcome every moment and all your feelings, no matter where you’re going.

Now, let’s welcome today’s song  choice!

 

Comments from my readers are always welcome. If you would welcome a suggestion about what to include in a comment, how about what helps you feel welcome?

Thanks to all who helped me create this “Welcome” post and to you — of course! — for welcoming my blog into your world.  And if you enjoyed being here, you’re welcome!

Day 1414: I wake up this morning feeling uneasy

Almost fourteen hundred days ago (but who’s counting?) I wrote a post titled Day 17: I think I wake up most mornings feeling uneasy. Here’s what I think, as I wake up this morning feeling uneasy:

• That was an important post for me to write back then, because I named and accepted my feelings, which freed me up to look at next steps.
• When I wrote that post, I ABSOLUTELY had significantly fewer reasons to feel uneasy than I do this morning.
• Uneasy is not the only feeling I’m having these mornings.
• I’m also feeling dread, hope, fear, disappointment, and love.

What helps when I’m feeling uneasy?

• Naming it.
• Connecting with others.
• Self care.
• Reminding myself, “It might be safer than it feels.”
• Remembering that no matter how I’m feeling, some people out there are thriving and some people are suffering.
• Identifying something I can do.
• Doing it.

Here’s what I’d like to do right now: share my photos from yesterday, which I took when I was feeling uneasy (as well as many other feelings). But I’m feeling uneasy because:

• I can’t access my photos.
• WordPress is not saving this post as I’m writing it.
• I need to restart my computer to complete this post the way I want to.

 

I’m going to just do it and hope for the best!

 

 

Is anything making you feel uneasy, now that you’ve read my post and seen my photos?

When I was feeling very uneasy in the hospital after my recent open heart surgery, I listened to a Bach CD on repeat, mornings and nights.   Here‘s some Bach for us all:

 

More things that help when I’m uneasy:

• Reading people’s comments on my blog.
• Expressing gratitude to all  who help me create new posts in the morning.
• Thanking you — of course! —  for making my life easier.