Day 2573: “I don’t know what to do.”

I just woke up from a nightmare where I was lost, wandering around an unfamiliar city with two cell phones that did not belong to me and somebody else’s water bottle which looked like mine, unable to remember anything I needed to get to some place safe, and I kept saying out loud, “I don’t know what to do.”

I did know what to do.  I woke up from the nightmare.

I just now got a message on this laptop that says, “Your disk is almost full.”  I don’t know what to do.

I did know what to do. I deleted some stuff.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do when desperate people tell me that they don’t know what to do.

I do know what to do.  I listen and let them know they are not alone.

I don’t know what to do when I’m

• angry,
• disappointed,
• lost,
• frustrated,
• hopeless,
• confused,
• desperate,
• depleted,
• alone,
• purposeless,
• mistaken, or
• in pain.

I do know what to do. I write a blog post every morning.

I don’t know what to do if none of my photos from another ordinary/extraordinary yesterday relate to today’s topic.

I don’t know what to do about finding the right video for this post.

I do know what to do.  I recorded this last night:

And I do know what to do about freeing up more disk space.  Now that I’ve shared that video of Oscar, Michael, me, and a musical snow globe here, I know I can delete it from my laptop.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I don’t know what to do to tell you all how much you have meant to me and how much you have helped me over my almost seven full years of daily blogging. Wait, I do know what to do.

Day 2560: Look what I made!

Look what I made!

I made a life filled with

• creativity,
• curiosity,
• puzzles,
• welcomes,
• friends,
• wonderful connections,
• sweet things,
• hopeful signs,
• love,
• cats,
• joy,
• purpose,
• appreciation,
• wonder, and
• images like these:

 

Look what my future in-laws’ cats are doing — making out the smell of our cats on my boots (which I didn’t make).

Here‘s “Hey Look Ma, I Made It” by Panic! At the Disco.

 

Look what I made!  Another blog post!

Thanks to all who help me make it through every day, including YOU.

 

Day 2524: Who are we?

In previous posts, I’ve posed the bloggy questions “Who am I?,” “What am I?” and “Where am I?”

Today, I’m going more global with “Who are we?” because

• every new story and news story I read these days implies, to me, this question about the current state of humanity and
• I took this photo yesterday.

Who are we?  Are we

• factions of humans who never agree?
• a species who can bond together over a common goal?
• violent?
• kind?
• selfish?
• empathic?
• hating?
• loving?
• capable of change?
• doomed?
• serious?
• ridiculous?
• leaders?
• followers?
• thinkers?
• feelers?
• wise?
• stupid?
• enemies?
• friends?
• hopeless?
• hopeful?
• memorable?
• capable of remembering?

Are we ready for my other photos from yesterday?

I don’t know if I’ll remember the Alamo, but I’ll always remember Deb Carmichael.

Here’s Who are We? by The Dixie Hummingbirds.

 

How would you answer today’s bloggy question?  Who are we?

Are we grateful?  I am, for all those who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

 

Day 2500: What are the words that you live by?

Yesterday, at a Boston performance of the wonderful musical Choir Boy, I saw this:

Audience members (including me) responded to that invitation to share the words that we live by, by posting  sticky notes:

Can you spot the words I live by among all those words?

 

Do you see any words to live by in my other photos from yesterday?

 

 

What are the words that YOU live by?

 

Here  is a Rosh Hashana song ….

… and here’s “Rockin’ Jerusalem” from  Choir Boys.

 

Two of the words I live by, every day, are “Thank You,.” Thank you for helping me create two thousand and five hundred daily blog posts with (I hope) some words to live by.

 

 

Day 2491: What helps?

What helps you?

What helps me is blogging every morning.  What helps me is sharing my experience.

Today, I’ll be sharing my experience at my college reunion in a five-minute speech about living with my very unusual heart. It’ll help if I can record it, so I’ll do my best. If I can’t record it, I’ll help you experience the speech by sharing the full text here, tomorrow.

Yesterday, it helped for me to facilitate a Coping and Healing group at work and then to spend the day at my reunion with my long-time friend Lawry.

It helps to have friends. Here’s part of today’s speech:

So as I tell my story to you today, I wonder, perhaps along with you, what has allowed me to survive, so intact, through all this? What has helped me pick up the pieces, over and over again? As when I was a child — the love of my family and friends sustain me. Also, seven years ago I expanded my network of friends by starting a daily blog. Every morning, including today, I’ve written about my heart, my son, my passion for the healing power of groups, my song-writing, my cats, my hopes, my fears, this speech — whatever helps gird me and prepare me for the day ahead. The day after my heart valve surgery was the only day I needed a substitute blogger — my boyfriend Michael let my thousands of followers know I had survived the complicated procedure. Their comments included “Fantastic news! I’m in public but I’m dancing all the same,” and “’She’s going to be alright guys’ is the best line ever!”

In other words, I get by with a little help from my friends, including YOU!

 

Day 2465: Note to self

Note to self: go back to work today after an incredible trip to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Note to self: write notes for …

• my latest original song “Spoiler Alert.” and
• my “Ted Talk” for my college reunion in September, including important information about my self (e.g., my very unusual heart and how the notes in this blog help my  self get through the challenging times).

Note to self: share some new photos from yesterday, which I took myself.

Note to self: Halloween and Thanksgiving are actually several months away.

Note to self: Share Class Notes: A Journey Through Musical Emotion.

Notes to self:

• Practice acceptance of all feelings.
• If you feel overwhelmed by too much to do, take one step at a time.

If you want to leave a note to me, yourself, and others, see the comments section below.

Note to self:  express  gratitude and thanks for all the selves who help me create these daily posts and for those who read them, including yourself!

Day 2443: Mass shootings

This morning, I looked at the news with dread to find out more information about the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas.  After I found out more horrible details about that one, I saw that there had been another mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio.

For years, many people have presented credible cases on ways to reduce gun violence in the United States and polls indicate that most Americans agree with these changes.

And yet, the mass shootings go on.

What can we do?

This is what I do:

• I write about it in my blog (even when it’s too much to process).
• I ask for contributions to Everytown for Gun Safety on my birthday and today.
• I vote for people who share my views about gun violence.
• I support my son in attending a University outside of the United States, partly because I believe he is safer there.
• I encourage the acceptance and love of the different parts of each human being and the different parts of the human race.

I also distract myself from this horrific violence in my country by taking photos of other things.

It’s an uphill climb to find a solution for uncontrolled violence; I hope we find it fast.

Here’s “Mass Shootings: When words fail”  featuring Steve Hartman and The Onion:

 

Thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog post and — of course — to you, for being here, now.

Day 2442: Everybody’s somebody’s _____

Last night, I sang my latest original song — “Everybody’s Somebody’s A–hole” — at the Jam’n Java Open Mic in Arlington, Massachusetts.

Everybody’s somebody’s

• support,
• hero,
• star,
• community,
• mess,
• weirdness,
• pest,
• baggage, and
• gift.

Everybody’s somebody’s …

teammate,

proud partner,

ninja,

angel,

fear, trigger, time off, safety, news, danger, clickbait, health, illness, stillness, trip, and

talented local performer.

I’ve asked the coordinators of the Jam’n Java Open Mic if I could be a featured performer some day and they replied, “We usually book people who’ve had a show elsewhere.”

I’m working on it.

Everybody’s somebody’s observer, so feel free to leave any observations in the comments section, below.

No matter what I am to anybody else, I’m always grateful to be your blogger, every day.

 

 

Day 2407: Tell me about it

I’m going to tell you about Merriam-Webster’s definition of “tell me about it.”

tell me about it (idiom)

Definition of tell me about it
informal
—used to say that one understands what someone is talking about because one has had the same or a similar experience
“Something is wrong with that computer.” “Yeah, tell me about it. I can never get it to work properly.”

I don’t know if something is wrong with my computer, but I can’t post a shortened version of this video (in which I seem to be saying “Tell me about it” for 18 minutes) (and which I first told you about in this post) to YouTube.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTT1B5mT6uiWAp_Z-k4MB9fcDFDGg8Mb/view?usp=sharing

Let me tell you about what happens when I (and perhaps you)  click on that link.  I receive a message that says “Unable to process this video.”  However, I could still download it, although I got a message that told me “Google Drive can’t scan this file for viruses. Free.mp4 (1.4G) is too large for Google to scan for viruses. Would you still like to download this file?”

Too complicated or too much trouble?  Tell me about it.

Once my son returns from teaching English in Jordan, maybe he can tell me about how to post that video (which he shot in our gazebo two weeks ago) to YouTube.  If you do look at the video, tell me about which title you prefer:

• “Tell me about it.”
• “Free therapy with Ann.”
• “I’m listening.”

I can also tell you about the original, unedited, noisy, uncentered version of that video, which is here:

At this point, when I’m looking at a preview of this post, I’m telling you that video has this message: “Please wait. We are converting this video.”

Tell me about it.

In the meantime, I’m going to tell you about these recent photos I haven’t told you about before.

Which is your favorite photo?  Tell me about it.

Tell me about your reactions to this music in the air:

 

I want to break free of more technical problems, but I won’t tell you about it.  Instead, I’ll tell you about my gratitude to all who support my telling you about it, every day, here on WordPress.

Thoughts about those ways of expressing gratitude?  Tell me about it.

---

YouTube now tells me that this very abbreviated, silent version of “Free Therapy with Ann” has shown up there.

My expression in that still shot, above, seems to say, “Tell me about it.”  If I manage to post a longer version, I’ll tell you about it.

Day 2367: I’m a fan

I’m a fan of:

• the HBO show Barry,
• the finale of Game of Thrones (although I just started watching it this week, so what do I know?),
• admitting what I know and what I don’t know,
• the music of Game of Thrones,
• watching TV with Michael and the cats,
• Michael’s cooking,
• my son, who’s returning to Boston for the summer this Saturday,
• Dr. William Sharp and his twitter account,
• my friend Jenn and her pugs,
• returning to work after a one-week vacation,
• letting go of grudges (see this helpful article and this one, please),
• saying “please” and “thank you,
•  blogs including this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one,  this one,  this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one, this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one,  this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one,
• letting go of fear about leaving people out when I’m expressing appreciation,
• letting go of fear about not getting people’s names right,
• letting go of fear, period,
• expressing appreciation,
• groups, and
• taking and sharing photos.

 

 

What are you a fan of?

I’m also a fan of gratitude, as I hope you know.