Last week in a therapy group, somebody used the word “flexpectations” to describe an effective coping strategy. Rather than getting stuck in and disappointed by expectations and assumptions, this person tried flexibly adapting their expectations as situations developed and changed.
Since then, I’ve worked on flexpectations while planning trips for September and May and — despite my old habit of expecting disappointment — good things are happening when I least expect them!
Let’s practice flexpectations as we make our way through the rest of this blog post.
Here and now, I have flexpectations about meteors, social media, Bomb Pops, and handshakes.
Here’s what I find when I search YouTube for “flexpectations.”
I have flexpectations about what comments I’ll get about this post and I have gratitude for all who helped me create it, including YOU!
I want to share photos with you every day, including this one from our local supermarket:
People want to buy many things at a supermarket, don’t they? I want to choose foods from the healthy sections of a market (usually located along the outer edges) but sometimes I want items in the middle.
I want to share a definition of “want.”
I want to point out that “want” means desire, should, AND deficiency. I want to make a brilliant point about that, but my mind is in want of brilliance right now.
Here are some brilliant minds writing about “want.”
I want to share more images with you, which I hope you want to see.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “want.”
As a group therapist and as a human being, I think a lot about belonging. Here’s a definition of belonging:
Now I be longing for a longer definition, so here’s a definition of “belong.”
From what I’m reading and experiencing, more people, here and now, are feeling like they do not belong in the USA because of a vocal minority gaining more power over the majority. It’s difficult belonging to a country where gun rights are protected more than human rights.
Do you see belonging in my images for today?
My sense of belonging is all about being with those I love, so happy National Beautician’s day to Mia, the beloved beautician for my friend Barbara (pictured above), my friend Deb, and me!
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “belonging.”
I look forward to reading the comments, belonging below, about this belonging post.
I didn’t think that hard-won rights for women in the United States would be taken away, but I should have known better.
I didn’t think that greedy and dishonest men would take control of major parts of our government, but I should have known better.
I didn’t think I would ever be writing this post when I started blogging in 2013, but I should have known better.
I didn’t think the Daily Bitch would give me the title for today’s post, but I should have known better.
I’ve encouraged people in my Coping and Healing groups, who want to feel better, to keep a journal of “what helps” and “what doesn’t help.” In my Coping and Healing journal, #1 on my list of “what doesn’t help” is “telling myself I should have known better.” I should tell you that I created that journal before 2016, the year that a toxic narcissist became one of the most powerful people in the world. I didn’t think that was possible and I should have known better. I should have known better, also, what chaos and destruction would ensue.
I should have known better that on days that I’m feeling despair that I would have very few images to share.
I should have known better that my wonderful son’s father, Leon, would have his own day. Also, I should have known better that Summersgiving doesn’t mean giving to a vitally important organization, but I feel better on this day starting a recurring contribution to Planned Parenthood. If you want to join me, click here.
I should have known better when I wrote this song about the Supreme Court back in 2018 how many times I would have the occasion to share it.
My son Aaron thinks that’s the best song I’ve written, which I didn’t know but maybe he knows better.
I should have known better that sharing my thoughts and feelings with you would help me feel a little better (as it always does), so many thanks for being here, now.
“Two wrongs don’t make a right” was one of my late mother’s favorite sayings. Another favorite saying of my mother’s was “there’s a place for everything and everything in its place” so I think this is the place for today’s Daily Bitch Calendar.
It sure as hell would make me feel better right now to share a photo of my mother. It’s right that I coincidentally captured an image of my mother with my son Aaron yesterday when I took a picture of our cat, Joan (on the right).
Two humans — my husband Michael and I — were wrong in worrying that our old and fretful shelter cat Harley would never accept shelter cat Joan. Those two together definitely make a right.
There’s a place for everything and this is the place I’ll share a story about my mother and me and “two wrongs don’t make a right.” I was born with a heart that was wrong, which resulted in many hospitalizations and my needing pacemakers from a very young age. We didn’t know what kind of heart condition I had until my very right and still current cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem, figured out in the 1980’s that I had the very rare heart condition of congenitally corrected transposition of the great arteries (CCTGA). When Dr. Salem rightly described how my heart was very wrong in two different ways — (1) the aorta and the pulmonary arteries are switched and (2) the ventricles are also switched — and
that means all the blood ends up in the right place and
having just one of those wrongs would have killed me when I was born in 1953 because of what kinds of heart surgeries were available then,
I turned to my mother and said “You know how you always say ‘two wrongs don’t make a right?’ I guess not!”
There’s a place for everything and this is the place for me to say that I miss my mother and my father every day.
It’s right that many of my images for today have twos in them.
It seems wrong to me that onion rings and kissing — both very right in their own way — are celebrated on the same day.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “two wrongs don’t make a right.”
I often gain enlightenment by interacting with others and somebody on Twitter shared this enlightening image in response to my question about to-do lists:
Here is an enlightening definition of enlightenment:
Here and now, I’m going to make up a new definition of enlightenment: the realization that one of the reasons you’re not sleeping well is that there is too much lightenment in your bedroom because there is no way to hang blackout curtains.
Perhaps one of my readers will offer some enlightenment about how to fix that problem. In the meanwhile, I have en-lightened my wallet by ordering several sleep masks that, so far, aren’t comfortable enough.
Can you find enlightenment in any of my other images for today?
I think it’s funny that I’m blogging about enlightenment and light on National Daylight Day and the longest day of the year. If you need enlightenment about any of the National Days in June, here’s an enlightening link: