Whenever I use the word “hate” (which I have in blogs here and here), my husband Michael says:
Hate’s a strong word, Ann.
The other day, Michael used the word “hate.” I said, “You always say that hate’s a strong word, Michael!” He replied, “It is a strong word, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things to hate.”
I hate when my memory doesn’t do justice to what somebody else said, like just now.
Last night, I said I hated something and Michael, as usual, replied, “Hate’s a strong word, Ann.” I said, “That’s going to be the title of my blog tomorrow.”
Let’s see if the strong word of hate shows up in the photos I took yesterday.
I hate to be late for work, so I need to wrap up today’s blog quickly.
Let’s see what’s not dead in my other photos from yesterday:
I mentioned in a recent not dead post that I’ve been playing Peggle on my phone, so that I can remain not dead and self-soothed during anxious times. I’ve been stuck on Level 105 for MANY not dead days. I always die on the second of three very difficult “battles” and have to start over again. Yesterday, while I was Peggling at the mall, I lived through the incredibly difficult Battle 2 of Level 105, much to my amazement. After I paused the game and then wondered if my dying phone had lost my progress, I said to my dear and not dead husband Michael, “If my phone lost this and I have to start this level over again, I’ll kill myself.”
And I stopped and thought, “WHAT did I just say? There’s no way I’d kill myself over Peggle!”
Even better, I realized, there’s no way I’d kill myself over anything.
When we got home, I told Michael I was going to try to complete Level 105 and if I failed and died, “You’ll hear an unearthly moan of pain.” However, when I did die almost immediately in the much easier third battle, I neither moaned nor cared. I was happy to restart Level 105 with a new life.
As I said to Michael, “Now that I know that it’s possible, I’m fine.”
Then Michael and I danced to this not dead song (living here on YouTube):
Edwyn Collins, as of this writing, is not dead, although he is struggling to stay alive, according to the YouTube comments.
Now it’s time for my undying gratitude to all who help me create these not dead posts, including YOU!
A house divided against itself, cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently, half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved — I do not expect the house to fall — but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other. Either the opponents of slavery will arrest the further spread of it, and place it where the public mind shall rest in the belief that it is in the course of ultimate extinction; or its advocates will push it forward, till it shall become lawful in all the States, old as well as new — North as well as South.
Today, the USA government seems like a house divided, again. The whole country, the whole planet, seems like a house divided, which cannot stand.
Yesterday, I saw this:
That “house divided” is very close to the Atlantic ocean, so I don’t know how long that’s going to stand, either.
I don’t know how to unite this house we all live in, except to keep blogging and sharing photos like these:
This comes up when I search YouTube for “A House Divided”:
On this Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2020, thanks to all who help me create this daily blog from our house (including YOU).
I dream and last week I dreamt that I was supposed to give a talk that day about a Tom Hanks movie that was similar to the movie “Big” in that he was a child trapped in the body of an adult but it wasn’t “Big” and I couldn’t remember the name or details about the movie and I was giving this presentation in a few hours and I was very mad at myself that I hadn’t prepared better and then I woke up and I was VERY RELIEVED that the dream was not true.
My husband Michael dreams and very recently he had a dream where somebody spilled lots of “chicken juice” on the floor and he was trying to clean it up and the cats were nearby and he was afraid that they would lick it and get poisoned by bacteria and people including his old girlfriend kept walking through the chicken juice and spreading it all around and he woke up feeling VERY RELIEVED that the dream was not true.
I dream and last night I dreamt that I was at a party with Pete Buttigieg and my sister and I wanted to leave because I was very tired but people decided that before you left you had to go around to everybody there and have some sort of ritualized and elaborate goodbye and I wasn’t really paying attention to the details because I was so tired but the first person I said goodbye to was Tom Hanks and he helped me through the first goodbye, which included fist bumps and saying something that authentically captured and reflected your interactions with them during the evening and then I tried to say goodbye to a group of three people but they were distracted and I didn’t feel like interrupting them so I snuck out and went home and then I woke up and forgot about the dream until a few minutes ago.
I dream that sharing dreams helps us realize how connected we are, so that’s why we sometimes share dreams in my Coping and Healing groups.
“Do you dream?” is something I saw yesterday at MiAlisa Salon in Watertown.
Do you dream? I dream about a functioning adult becoming President of the United States in 2020. In the meantime, I expect I will have trouble sleeping and will continue to have anxiety dreams.
Here‘s a clip from the movie “Top Secret!” in which Val Kilmer is VERY RELIEVED when he wakes up from a classic dream:
Do you dream and do you have dreams similar to any of the dreams mentioned in today’s post?
I dream about all my readers knowing how much I appreciate them, every day.
Yesterday, a girl told me she always felt like a failure. I asked her, “What if the concept of failure did not exist?” — a question I’ve asked before in therapy and in this blog (here and here).
She answered that question the same way many others have: “That would be GREAT.” I said, “Welcome to my world.”
What would happen if we all pretended that the concept of failure did not exist?
Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be. —John Wooden
Success is often achieved by those who do not know that failure is inevitable. — Coco Chanel
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. — Denis Waitley
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. — Ellen DeGeneres
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways which won’t work. — Thomas A. Edison
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. —Paulo Coelho
Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. — Winston Churchill
We are all failures – at least the best of us are. — J.M. Barrie
You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. —Johnny Cash
Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing. —J.K. Rowling
No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist. —Chris Hardwick
With a hint of good judgment, to fear nothing, not failure or suffering or even death, indicates that you value life the most. You live to the extreme; you push the limits; you spend your time building legacies. Those do not die. — Criss Jami
Whenever I write these blog posts, this message appears:
Saving of draft failed.
I don’t let that stop me.
Let’s see if failure exists in any of my recent photos:
I keep failing at that very difficult level in Peggle but I keep retrying, which I find comforting.
I wonder what interesting failures are ahead for me today?
Here‘s Billie Holiday with “I’ll Never Fail You” …
Is this blog turning into The Year(s) of Living Combatively?
I don’t think so, but I have noticed a lot of battles around me lately. Do you see evidence of that in these photos?
I fell asleep on the couch last night and missed the anticipated battle between Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders at the latest debate of Democrat Presidential hopefuls.
1. contrary to the laws and customs of society; devoid of or antagonistic to sociable instincts or practices.
“a dangerous, unprincipled, antisocial type of man”
Similar:
objectionable
offensive
beyond the pale
unacceptable
unsocial
asocial
distasteful
disruptive
disorderly
lawless
rebellious
sociopathic
2. not sociable; not wanting the company of others.
I would say that, sometimes, I’m not wanting the company of others, especially if they’re objectionable, offensive, beyond the pale, unacceptable unsocial, asocial, distasteful, disruptive, disorderly, lawless, rebellious, or sociopathic.
