Today’s Daily Bitch Calendar is about throwing out what no longer fits.
We all have things that no longer fit — unhelpful thoughts, toxic people, harsh self judgment, second guessing, crippling fears about the future, regrets about the past, hopelessness, body shame, etc. — and wouldn’t it be great to throw those out?
At the end of every therapy group, I invite people to throw out what no longer fits them in a “magic” waste paper basket, which either holds or reduces the power of whatever they throw away. Over the years, people have thrown away a ton of trash in these magic waste paper baskets.
Because all my groups are remote these days, here’s the “home version” of the magic waste paper basket:
Next to the magic waste paper basket is the magic hat, an addition recently suggested by a group member. Out of the magic hat, people can pull whatever they want, like self love, courage, acceptance, strength, and hope.
Do you see anything that fits the magic waste paper basket or the magic hat in my other images for today?
Yesterday, I threw my rough day into the magic waste paper basket and it fit in there just fine.
This is the first thing that comes up on YouTube when I search for “throwing away what doesn’t fit”:
Ever since we adopted Joan — our kitty who was found on the streets of Tennessee with her siblings and many kittens — my husband Michael has been “speaking” for Joan by saying, in a high Southern-accented voice, “I do what I want!”
Joan does what she wants by
chasing our other cat Harley around the house,
sitting where she wants to sit,
playing when she wants to play,
sleeping when and where she wants to sleep, and
generally, being cat.
Joan does what she wants within the confines of wearing a cone …
… as her skin infection heals. Actually, if she was really doing what she wants, she wouldn’t be wearing that damned cone, but she’s doing just fine.
“I do what I want” is also what many humans say as they get older and wiser. I discovered this, again, when I tweeted this yesterday:
Many people on Twitter agreed with me and shared how they do what they want, more and more, as they get older. Somebody actually responded with this:
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Here are some other responses:
I do what I want when I create this daily blog, so I want to share the photos I took yesterday at work and at home. You do what you want with these:
The Daily Bitch does what she wants. Do you?
I do what I want and I want to see what I find when I search YouTube for “I do what I want.”
I do what I want and I also want to include some music here. Here’s “Do What You Want” from OK Go.
I do what I want and I always want to end these posts with gratitude for all who visit this blog, including YOU!
Our cat Joan is adapting to her hard cone, even though she doesn’t like it.
I’m adapting to going into work in person on Mondays, even though I don’t like it. I’d much rather be working from home, especially as I’m helping Joan with her adapting. This is my second Monday since the start of the pandemic going into the Boston medical center where I work, and it’s definitely easier this time.
I guess we’re all adapting all the time.
Do you see adapting in my other images for today?
The Daily Bitch has an interesting way of adapting.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “adapting”:
How are you adapting these days?
Blogging and gratitude both help in my adapting, so thanks to all those who are adapting every day, including YOU!
Yesterday, my husband Michael, our cat Joan, and I were waiting for hours to see a veterinarian at Angell Animal Medical Center in Boston.
Why were we waiting there yesterday? Well, we’ve been waiting for over six weeks, since we adopted Joan, for various problems (mastitis, skin problems, and ear problems) to clear up. During the waiting, we’ve consulted with the adoption agency and our home-visiting veterinarian (who is on vacation), and we’ve tried oral antibiotics, injected antibiotics, ear mite medication, different cones, topical creams, and lots of patience. Despite assurances that these problems “should” resolve quickly, the waiting for Joan to get better kept going on and on.
During the weeks of waiting, my son Aaron said that when he overheard Michael and I talking for long periods of time, he knew we were talking about Joan. Michael and I wanted the waiting time to be as short and as comfortable as possible for all of us, but despite following all the advice, Joan’s conditions got better, worse, better, worse, and so on.
Yesterday, getting sick of the waiting and noticing that the problems had gotten worse again, I investigated waiting times at nearby urgent care vet centers. We didn’t expect the waiting time at Angell to be so long (when I called at 1:00 PM, I was told there was “no waiting” compared to a four hour waiting time at another facility), but there were many people and animals waiting to be seen when we got there at 2.
While I was waiting in line to check us in, I noticed that a film crew was videotaping Joan who was waiting in her carrier:
Joan is always ready for her close-up, no matter how she is waiting or what cone she is wearing. Here she is earlier in the day, waiting for this whole cone thing to be over with:
I had added the Mona Lisa mask to that soft cone to prevent her from licking her leg, but doesn’t Joan look like she’s waiting for me to take that damn thing off?
Here are photos I took while we were waiting and waiting and waiting to be seen at Angell:
While we were waiting in our assigned waiting area …
… Michael and I discussed the logic of having the cats and the birds waiting in the same place. I speculated that this was for the benefit of the cats, because having birds in the area would make the waiting more interesting.
As the waiting dragged on and on, I asked an employee there how much longer we’d be waiting. I was told, “Barring any emergencies, Joan is up next to be seen.” The waiting gets easier when the end is in sight, don’t you think?
Soon after that, I overheard somebody checking in a pet that was “very lethargic.” I wondered if that pet might bump Joan. Moments later, I noticed that a sad-looking young man had taken a seat across from us holding….a chicken.
Indeed, the chicken (named “Chicken”) did bump Joan (Chicken was in worse shape than Joan), but after another period of waiting, we did finally see a vet. The vet prescribed this cone for Joan:
While people call this the cone of shame, there is no shame in waiting to get better. The vet also put medicine in Joan’s ears, tested the bacteria on Joan’s skin, gave us more oral antibiotics, another external ear mite application, and these skin wipes which are waiting to be used at home:
There will be several more weeks of waiting before Joan is all better.
While we were waiting for Joan to be seen, I posted this on Twitter.
There are many ways to express love, as I’m seeing in the hundreds of answers to this question I posted last night on Twitter:
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I love to remind people that there are many different ways to express love and that different people have different love languages. No matter what the love language, though, people can express love with patience, commitment, and acceptance of difference. Also, in order to love others better, it’s important to love yourself.
Don’t you love how it’s so easy to sound cliched when you’re expressing thoughts and feelings about love?
Am I expressing love by sharing my other images for today?
The Daily Bitch has an interesting way of expressing love.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “expressing love”:
Yesterday, I asked this question on Twitter about freaking out:
People were freaking out about many things, including money, health issues, work, family members, relationships, the pandemic, other people’s behaviors, etc., etc., etc. Indeed, some people suggested that a better question might have been “What are you NOT freaking out about right now?”
I didn’t answer my own question, but I was freaking out about our kitty Joan, her ongoing mastitis, and how she outsmarts us and every cone we put on her to promote its healing.
There’s Joan, trying to figure out how she can lick her wounds after my husband Michael tried to adapt her cone with a well-placed paper clip.
When I freak out, it’s usually because I feel helpless, so yesterday I ordered TWO MORE cones in addition to the inflatable cone that’s being delivered today.
Joan’s irritated area extends down into the top of her rear leg, so it’s very difficult to get a cone that completely prevents her from accessing it with her rough kitty tongue. Also, most cat post-surgery body suits don’t cover that area.
Over the past month, as we’ve treated her with antibiotics, applied topical lotion to the area, sent lots of pictures of the area to the vet, and helped Joan adjust to the different types of treatment (while trying to bond with her), we’ve seen the problem area get better and then get worse.
It freaks me out that I know so much about trying to help a cat heal, but we’re still not past this.
When I freak out, Michael tries to calm me by focusing on the positive: she’s not in pain, it’s not going to kill her, and she will get better, even if it takes much longer than we expected.
When I freak out, it also helps me to write about it in this blog. This blog — and all of you — have helped me get through many freak outs over the years.
Let’s see if the Daily Bitch is all about freaking out today.
It is!
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “freaking out.”
What might you be freaking out about right now? Whatever it is, chances are you’re not alone.
I have so much freaking gratitude for all who help me write this daily blog, including YOU!
Yesterday, I asked this question about self acceptance on Twitter:
Many people responded about the positive and healing aspects of self acceptance. Some people expressed a belief/fear that if they accepted themselves exactly the way they are, they would stay stuck, be settling for less, and would never change.
My observation and experience is that self acceptance is usually the first step to being balanced, present, and more able to see the way clear to taking the next positive and achievable step towards self improvement.
Personally, I find self acceptance freeing and energizing. Do you see self acceptance in my other images for today?
My sense is that the Daily Bitch accepts herself exactly the way she is.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “self acceptance.”
What are your thoughts and feelings about self acceptance?
Please accept my gratitude for your acceptance, here and now!
Ann Fully understands what AF stands for on Twitter. As Funny as it may seem, AF is an Acronym Functioning as an Adverb, Friends.
Ann Finds that examples Are Fine:
I am happy As F—- to share All Fotos with you.
The Daily Bitch is bitchy AF. I’m Astonished Frankly AF to be popular AF on Twitter. Joan is resourceful AF About Finagling with Any Friggin’ cone we Attempt For her healing and I will be relieved AF when our Adorable Feline is Again Feeling better and All Fiendish cones are A Faded memory.
When I search YouTube for “AF” I Actually Find “single af” by the admirable Fousheé.
Here’s A Fitting tribute to Norm Macdonald, who was Amazingly Funny AF.
Here’s the Actual Farfetched And Funny AF moth joke:
Here’s Another Funny AF 2020 routine About Fresh And Frightening issues:
Any Found comments will be Appreciated Fully And Faithfully Answered, Following Another Fulfilling AF work day.
And Finally, I’m grateful AF for All Friends, including YOU!
Yesterday, when I went to my medical office to work in-person for the first time in 18 months, I noticed this 2020 Daily Bitch calendar on my desk:
Throughout the day, which was stressful, overwhelming, intimidating, confusing, AND very rewarding, I kept telling myself “Don’t give up.”
“Don’t give up. Even though it feels unfamiliar and scary, you’ve been doing this work long-distance for months.”
“Don’t give up. Working in person is like riding a bicycle. You’ll get used to it really soon.”
“Don’t give up. Everyone is masked and it’s safe enough.”
“Don’t give up. Even though you have an automatic, initial negative response to masks because you can’t see people’s expressions and it reminds you of being in the hospital when you were a kid, it’s going to be okay.”
“Don’t give up, people can connect with each other using their eyes.”
“Don’t give up. Even though there’s a huge file cabinet in your office that you asked to be removed months ago, people can move it out very quickly.”
“Don’t give up. There are lots of great things in your office to help people heal.”
“Don’t give up. Even if you have a momentary sense of panic in the hospital cafeteria, you can express that to a kind server, bond with them and feel sustained for the rest of the day.”
“Don’t give up. In many ways, it’s wonderful to be in the same room with 3-dimensional people.”
“Don’t give up. It will be easier and more familiar from here on out.”
“Don’t give up. At the end of the day you get to go home to be with your husband, your son, and your two cats.”
It’s time for me to give up all the other images for today’s post.
Don’t give up. You don’t have to do all of those things today. And tomorrow is another day.
The Daily Bitch calendar for today is explaining what life is, sometimes.
My late mother (whom I miss even more during the Jewish holidays) used to say “Life is what you make it.”
What life is includes dealing with constant change. Today I am going back to work in-person one day a week and I hope I can adapt to that easily.
Do you see any indications of what life is in my other images for today?
What life is includes joys, sorrows, fears, frustrations, the unexpected, hurts, healing, despair, hope, and obligations. Now I need to give our adopted kitty Joan some treatments for her stubborn mastitis (an inflammation of the breast tissue caused by her nursing her kittens), before I leave for work.
