Day 3287: My Best and Worst of 2021

Hello, best blog readers! It’s time for my personal best and worst of the year.

This was not the best of years nor the worst of years, personally. I did my best to compile my lists and here they are:

BEST

My son Aaron and all his wonderfulness.

My husband Michael and all his wonderfulness (including his delicious meals, taking care of our home, and making me laugh every day).

Good health for me and my loved ones.

My therapy groups.

My friends.

Adopting our new adorable cat Joan and our old adorable cat Harley adjusting so well to that.

Walks near the water.

Sustaining music, including songs from Anaïs Mitchell’s Hadestown.

Trip to NYC with Aaron, including the Sondheim musical Company and the Stephen Colbert Show!

Trip to Nashville on my own, including a very successful Open Mic and meeting fellow blogger Chris!

The book “Radical Acceptance.”

Connecting with people here and on Twitter.

WORST

Climate change.

COVID.

January 6 insurrection and other threats to democracy.

Pain, suffering, and deaths of good people.

Systemic injustices.

Toxic narcissists.

Gun violence in the USA.

Miscommunication and misinformation and the painful divisions those cause.

Extensive (and hidden) water damage to our home because of a leaking shower.

The nosebleed from hell (caused by a combo of Joan’s claws and my anticoagulant medication).

Joan’s medical problems which necessitated her being in a cone for MONTHS.

Stephen Sondheim (one of my musical heroes) leaving this earthly realm.

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Do you see any bests or worsts in my images for today?

I celebrated Make Up Your Mind Day by making up my mind about what to include in my best and worst lists for 2021!

I think it’s best if I include my favorite song from Hadestown here.

What is your best and worst of 2021?

Thanks to all who made it to my best list, including YOU!

Day 3271: How to wake up without dread

This morning I woke up without dread, and I don’t dread telling you that I’m not sure how that happened. After so many dreadful and dread-filled times, dread was not there today when I opened my eyes.

Even though I can’t really explain in this blog post how to wake up without dread, I can speculate why this happened this morning. Perhaps it’s because:

• I’m reading “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach,
• I’m realizing AGAIN that dread, worry, guilt, and shame do not help,
• I feel ready for the Open Mic on Friday because I figured out how to play a favorite Sondheim song on the ukulele,
• I listened to my year-end round-up of music on Spotify and music always helps,
• I connected with so many wonderful people on-line and in person yesterday and wonderful people always help,
• I went outside for several walks and walking outside always helps,
• I expressed vulnerability,
• I reached out for help and support,
• my subconscious is finally figuring out, after almost 69 years on this planet, that I have so many blessings, here and now.

Do you see any tips on how to wake up without dread in my images for today?

Actually, now that I’m looking at that Daily Bitch Calendar, dread is creeping back in.

I let go of dread many times this year by listening to “Don’t Break the Rules” from the Broadway musical Catch Me If You Can.

These lyrics help me let go of dread:

I guess the constitution, boys, to some is too complex.

They think our founding fathers fought so they could forge some checks.

Perhaps I can wake up without dread if I believe that justice is coming someday.

Gratitude definitely helps me wake up without dread, so thanks to all who are visiting here at some point after waking up, including you!

Day 3249: What are you reading?

What are you reading, besides this blog?

I’m reading this …

… and finding it very helpful, including this excerpt:

The words I remember were: The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom. During the silence that followed, memories flashed through my mind revealing how much I had been defended against. I could feel the walls I had erected to keep out those people who were different from me, those who intimidated me or demanded too much from me. I recognized my aversion to physical discomfort, to feeling fear and loneliness. I realized how unforgiving I felt toward myself for hurting others, for being judging, obsessive, selfish.

What are you reading into that and the other images in today’s post?

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I’m reading into people’s responses these days that there is a great need for grieving and healing.

This is what I find on YouTube when I search for “what are you reading?”

I look forward to reading your comments, below.

Thanks to all who read this blog, including YOU!

Day 2729: Stoned

You might think, from looking at this photo,

that somebody was stoned when Michael and I gathered with my son Aaron and my ex-in-laws for my first social gathering since March. I don’t think so, but who knows? And even though it might not look like it, I kept a stone’s throw distance from my son Aaron and my ex-in-laws, too.

You might think that I chose the title for today’s post because I took these photos of stones yesterday:

You might think I was stoned when I took some of these photos, but I was not.

Who needs to get stoned when I  can look at scenes like these?

Do Harley or Oscar look stoned?

I wonder if Oscar will feel stoned when I bring him out for a walk in his new stroller.

Here‘s Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, and many others performing “Everybody Must Get Stoned” at Farm Aid in 1986:

Please don’t throw any stones when you comment on this “Stoned” post, below.

Finally, stoned gratitude from me to you!

Day 2356: What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do about

• creating a blog with very limited time this morning?
• the state of the world?
• other people’s opinions?
• unhelpful thoughts?
• unfairness?
• injustice?
• imbalance?
• a smudged and difficult-to-clean white board?
• punctuation?
• spelling?
• nutrition?
• climate change?
• other changes?
• stress?
• pressure?
• insomnia?
• difficult decisions?
• self care?
• care of others?
• mixed feelings?
• other people’s feelings?
• thorny problems?
• physical pain?
• emotional pain?
• distractions?
• interruptions?
• fear?
• worries about the future?
• living in the past?
• invasions?
• goodbyes?
• my latest photos?

What am I supposed to do about British Invasion Week?

What am I supposed to do about “What Am I Supposed to Do?” by Whitey Morgan?

What am I supposed to do about  an important discussion from last night’s Coping and Healing group, in which we focused on radical acceptance?

Radical Acceptance means completely and totally accepting something from the depths of your soul, with your heart and your mind. You stop fighting reality. When you stop fighting you suffer less. (From “Three Blocks to Radical Acceptance” by Karyn Hall, PhD.)

What am I supposed to do about asking for comments?

What am I supposed to do about gratitude for all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for YOU?

Day 1638: We accept

Do we accept that I saw this yesterday?

Do we accept that seeing that worn-down sign  got me thinking about what we accept?

Should we accept everything?  Do we accept injustice, cruelty, and other unacceptable things?

I believe that radical acceptance — recognizing and accepting completely the realities of the moment — is necessary before we can move toward change and improvements.

Do we accept that?

Do you accept my other photos from yesterday?

I make a wish that we have the  serenity to accept the things we cannot change,  the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Can we accept that I just quoted the serenity prayer?

Should we accept this Airbnb commercial called “We Accept” which aired during the 2017 USA Super Bowl Game?

 

As always, we accept comments at this blog.

Please accept my thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for your kind acceptance.

 

Day 1346: Winners and Losers

Today’s title reminds me of two common cognitive distortions:  black-and-white thinking and labeling.  Yes, we humans — winners and losers all — tend to see things in all-or-nothing terms and we also assign judgmental labels to people, especially ourselves.

We are all winners and losers at some points, aren’t we?  Actually, a more winning perspective might be that “winners” and “losers” are subjective terms that don’t really help.  If I call myself a winner or a loser today, does that change who I am?  Don’t those all-or-nothing labels just cause me to temporarily win or lose confidence,  putting myself on a self-esteem roller coaster?  What would we lose if we stopped calling ourselves losers or winners and just radically accepted ourselves exactly where we are? Personally, I think we would win a lot.

Considering my thoughts on winners and losers, am I a winner or a loser to now ask  which of my photos from yesterday are winners or losers?

I shall not lose the opportunity to win you over by sharing the impulses behind those photos:

1. I am trying to win some acceptance about starting a new medication: Warfarin (a/k/a Coumadin).
2. Warfarin/Coumadin affects how your body uses Vitamin K.
3. The foods listed on the white board win the prize for having high amounts of Vitamin K.
4. I’ll need to win a greater understanding of how to control Vitamin-K-rich foods in my diet, or I might lose my health.
5. Hygga is a Danish word meaning “cozy,” a new-to-me concept which I find very winning.
6. My cat Oscar can be very hygga.
7. I am trying to win calmness and lose stress about my upcoming heart surgery and my only child going overseas for college by playing online solitaire.
8. My boyfriend Michael cooked a winning meal last night.

Is this piece of music a winner or a loser, according to you?

 

If you leave a comment, I’m a winner!

I’d be some kind of loser if I didn’t express thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for winning my heart by visiting here, today.

 

 

 

Day 1322: It’s not me

It’s not me who came up with this idea for a t-shirt:

It was my co-worker and friend, Megan (pronounced Mee-gan) AND me.

It’s not Megan who is writing this blog post, it’s me.

It’s not me who

1. is supporting Donald Trump,
2. gets more than six hours of sleep every night,
3. has a normal heart,
4. chose to be sitting as far away as possible from my son on the first leg of our flight to Edinburgh Scotland later today,
5. designed a website for flight check-in that was so confusing I erroneously indicated I had “0 bags,”
6. wanted a five-hour lay-over in Ireland,
7. has an uncomplicated life,
8. never gets anxious,
9. is deliberately cruel to other living creatures, and
10. believes I can make it in this world alone.

It is me who

1. is working on radically accepting all those things I cannot change,
2. tries to live a healthy life,
3. loves my work as a group therapist,
4. appreciates my family and friends,
5. uses daily blogging as a kind of helpful meditation,
6. is excited about traveling to Edinburgh’s Festival Fringe with my son,
7. shows up every day, here and elsewhere,
8. is gentle with myself and others (whenever possible),
9. tells the truth,  and
10. took these photos yesterday:

Three little words could be:

1. It’s not me.
2. It is me.
3. I love you.
4. “Three Little Words”.

 

It is me who expresses gratitude at the end of every blog post:

Day 276: Radical Acceptance

For many years, I’ve been talking to people about the concept of radical acceptance.

Here’s Google’s definition of radical acceptance (attributed to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy):

Letting go of fighting reality. Accept your situation for what it is.

While that may sound simple, many people find radical acceptance challenging to understand, much less practice.

Here are some more attempts from me, to get at radical acceptance:

It’s acknowledging where you are, and being as aware as you can be about that.

It doesn’t mean approving or otherwise shifting how you feel about where you are.

And it has nothing to do with staying there, either.

Radical acceptance is allowing yourself to be as completely balanced and connected to where you are in this moment, no matter what the next moment will bring. (And the next moment will bring some sort of change, even if that change is imperceptible.)

I love talking — and writing —  to people about radical acceptance, because I think it’s helpful and important.

One thing I’m realizing, in this moment, is this: When I think of radical acceptance, I usually think of accepting difficult things — those situations that cause pain, fear, and suffering.

However, I’m aware of a different kind of radical acceptance, right now.

Radical acceptance of love, which can be challenging to understand, much less practice.

It’s immediately obvious to me why it takes work to accept painful situations. I wonder why love and other good things might be difficult, at times, to accept, too.

I do find it easy to accept those things that inspire love in my own heart, including natural beauty,

animals,

people,

and music.

No matter where those things show up, I usually notice them.

However, I often do not notice the love that is out there, coming back at me.

Sometimes,  that love is more obvious. Sometimes, like this week,  it’s difficult to discount or ignore.

Radical acceptance. I’m working on it, in all ways.

Thanks to Marsha Linehan, Monument Valley, Capybara Madness, my parents, Street Pianos,  Luke Jerram, radical accepters everywhere, and to you, for reading today.