Day 3323: I’m big enough to have options

In my EMDR therapy, we have identified a very powerful “positive cognition.”

I’m big enough to have options.

This helps me because when I’m lost, anxious, frightened, or helpless, I feel small — probably because (1) I was traumatized by hospital stays and major surgeries when I was a kid and (2) I’m only 5’3” tall.

Also, it always helps to know I have options.

Here and now, I’m big enough to have options about what I share in today’s blog.

I’m big enough to have options to shower with a friend, have ice cream or Nutella whenever I want, play outside or inside, pay attention to or ignore weatherpeople, and avoid bacon because (1) my parents kept Kosher and (2) I associate the smell of bacon with my childhood stays in the hospital.

Let’s see what options I find when I search YouTube for “I’m big enough to have options.”

I’m big enough to have options about how to express gratitude to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 2919: I’m so glad to see you!

Whenever people show up to my therapy groups, I say out loud, “I’m so glad to see you!”

This morning, when I looked at my bleary-eyed, almost-68-year-old self in the mirror, I said out loud, “I’m so glad to see you!”

I’m so glad to tell you how much that immediately improved my mood. I’m so glad to recommend you try that the next time you see yourself in the mirror.

I’m so glad to share with you these images that I was so glad to see yesterday.

I’m so glad to see the Daily Bitch and I’m so glad that I don’t see anything alarming under the bed these days.

Here is “So Glad to See You Here” by Paul McCartney and Wings with Rockestra:

I’m so glad to see so many rock stars in that video. How many can you see?

I’m so glad to see you! I hope you can see that here, every day.

Day 2834: Healing ?

Here and now, there are many questions out there about whether people are healing or getting worse.

Yesterday, while I was taking a healing walk outside, I noticed this:

In today’s photo gallery, do you see healing ?

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What is the most healing image, for you? What’s the most painful one?

Lately, I’ve been healing from painful experiences by doing Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. That reminds me of my original song “Triggers,” which I hope will be healing to share.

That’s from my hopefully healing Edinburgh Festival Fringe show, August 2019.

Any comment you leave below will be healing for me. And as I like to say, “All healing is mutual.”

Gratitude is always healing, so thanks to all who are healing and helping others heal, including YOU.

Day 2803: It’s for you

It’s for you that I write these blog posts. But it’s also for me. As I encounter so many ups and downs in life, blogging every morning strengthens me for the day ahead.

It’s for you that I share today’s music, by Pat Metheny and the late Lyle Mays.

At the same time, sharing “It’s For You” from As Falls Wichita, So Falls Wichita Falls is for me.

It’s for you that I’m trying out a new, unfamiliar-to-me editor as I blog today. But it’s also for me (to increase my confidence about using new technology as I prepare to host my 50th high school reunion on Zoom).

It’s for you that I captured all these images, but it’s also for me.

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It’s for you and for me that I realize that “It’s for you” would make a good caption for this:

It’s for you that I have a comments section but it’s also for me.

It’s for you and for me that I collect images of gratitude to end these posts.

I’m grateful that writing this post with the new editor was much easier than I expected! This reminds me of the helpful cognition I’m working on in EMDR therapy:

I can trust myself, which allows me to figure out who else to trust.

Thanks to Pat, Lyle, Harley, Michael (for the burritos), the South Shore of Boston, our neighborhood church, our neighbors, snowy and not-so-snowy egrets, WordPress, and YOU.

Day 2796: The Element of Surprise

Much to my surprise, I’ve already written one post titled The Element of Surprise.  Would it surprise you if I shared how long it’s been since I created that post and all the surprising elements within?

Surprise!  I’m not going to do that math today.

Do you like the element of surprise?  Somebody does.

I won’t be surprised if people comment below that they  like the element of surprise only in certain circumstances. Personally, I’m still waiting for somebody to throw me a successfully executed surprise party.   And it’s probably no surprise if I say I’m hoping for no unpleasant surprises during the upcoming election season in the USA.

Can you find elements of surprise in any of these other recent images?

 

The last time I did a photo montage like that, I was unpleasantly surprised to see how the different  photographic elements showed up on my phone. I …

.. hope that you can easily explore elements of surprise in those smaller photos, but I won’t be surprised if it’s difficult to do so.

That reminds me of the elementally unhelpful “negative cognition” I’m letting go of through EMDR therapy, which is surprisingly effective in healing old traumas:

I can’t trust anybody, including myself.

Did that surprise anybody?

Here’s something that surprised me and my husband Michael yesterday:

Here’s something that did not surprise me:

Here’s another element of surprise: when the PictureThis app identified this …

as poke, pokeberries, and poke salad, I was surprised.

Now I’m wondering if my chosen musical selection for today has the element of surprise.

 

I’m hoping that it’s no surprise when I end each post with gratitude, because I am so thankful I get to share elements of surprise, every day,  with wonderful people like YOU.

 

 

Day 2788: Approaching

Here’s what is approaching, for me:

• The beginning of my two-week staycation.
• My husband Michael’s birthday.
• An EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy session to deal with some lingering traumas.
• A ZOOM training session to help with my upcoming 50th High School Reunion.
• My 50th High School Reunion.
• Th U.S. Presidential Election.
• Magnificence.

• The rest of my recent photos:

Harley hasn’t been as skittish, lately, when I’ve been approaching.

What’s been approaching, for you?

Every day, I encourage myself and others to be approaching what feels left unsaid, so  we can be approaching a good enough sense of closure.  Why? Because we never know when our last day is approaching.

Today’s music selection — “Something Left Unsaid” by the late, great Lyle Mays — is approaching.

I look forward to any and all comments that might be approaching.

Can you guess what’s approaching, here and now?

 

Day 2116: How to respond

Yesterday, people were discussing how to respond to a particular type of comment:

How to respond to my 7 other photos and 1 video from yesterday?

 

 

How to respond to somebody who is letting her hair go gray?

How to respond to this post?  However you choose.

How to respond to the people who helped me create this post and to you for being here? With thanks.

 

Day 1634: Warnings

WARNING:  This post has warnings in it.

Yesterday, my EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist, George, talked to me about my over-developed mental warning system.

WARNING: I keep forgetting what “EMDR” stands for and I have to look it up every time I write about it (like here and here).

George gave me an important warning, yesterday, in our therapy session. He warned that I give myself this warning way too much:

I have to hyper-vigilantly protect myself against the world’s incompetence, ignorance, hostility, lack of understanding, ambivalence, negligence, etc.,  in order to get my needs met and to survive.

WARNING: I write important warnings down so I can remember them.

George warned me that these constant warnings are probably bad for my health. He suggested I tell myself this instead:

I am safe. I have everything I need.

Do you see any warnings in my photos from yesterday?

 

 

WARNING: If children scare you, be warned that The Warning is a hard-rock band of three young sisters from Monterey, Mexico. Here‘s The Warning’s TED talk (and play):

 

WARNING: This writer loves comments on her posts, which you can leave below.

WARNING: I have everything I need, here and now, thanks to all who helped me create this post with warnings and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1543: Backgrounds

My background includes technical writing, marketing communications, and psychotherapy.

In the background, I’ve been looking up the definition of “background.”

Definition of background

1. a :  the scenery or ground behind something – a picture of her son with mountains in the background – background scenery for the play

   b art :  the part of a painting representing what lies behind objects in the foreground – dark shadows in the background of the painting

   c :  an image that displays on a computer screen underneath the various available icons and windows – As they participate, they earn “Kinetic City Points,” which they can spend on downloadable prizes, such as screensavers and computer backgrounds. — Science

2.  an inconspicuous position  – shy people who try to stay in the background

3. a.  the conditions that form the setting within which something is experienced… set in a background of tropical luxuriance. — Tom Marvel

   b (1) :  the circumstances or events antecedent to a phenomenon or development – the economic background of the American Civil War took place against a background of increasing tension

   (2) :  information essential to understanding of a problem or situation – background information

   c :  the total of a person’s experience, knowledge, and education – comparing the candidates’ backgrounds –  ran a background check to make sure she had no criminal record

4.  a. intrusive sound or radiation  that interferes with received or recorded electronic signals – a recording with a lot of background noise

   b physics :  a more or less steady level of noise above which the effect  being measured by an apparatus is detected;  especially :  a somewhat steady level of radiation in the natural environment (as from cosmic rays)

5.  a level of computer processing at which the processor uses time not required for a primary task to work on an additional task — compare foreground.

In the background, I’ve been inconspicuously trying to correct the inevitable formatting errors and complications that occur whenever I try to bring a definition into the foreground of my blog.

Here’s the background of how I chose the title of today’s post: Yesterday morning I was changing backgrounds while I was self-soothing with a game of on-line solitaire.

Congratulations to me for winning at solitaire and congratulations to worldofsolitaire.com for offering so many backgrounds.  I usually use the first background shown above; perhaps from now on I’ll use different backgrounds, depending on my mood.

After I solitarily photographed all those backgrounds, I noticed other backgrounds throughout my day.

That last photo, with the artwork and books in the background, shows my EMDR therapist, George Sawin, moving some EMDR equipment at the end of our session. George’s background includes psychotherapy, law enforcement, flower shops, and  business management.  When we were discussing the importance of backgrounds, I mentioned this poem to him:

THE INVITATION

It doesn’t interest me

what you do for a living.

I want to know

what you ache for

and if you dare to dream

of meeting your heart’s longing.

 

It doesn’t interest me

how old you are.

I want to know

if you will risk

looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

 

It doesn’t interest me

what planets are

squaring your moon…

I want to know

if you have touched

the centre of your own sorrow

if you have been opened

by life’s betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed

from fear of further pain.

 

I want to know

if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

 

I want to know

if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations

of being human.

 

It doesn’t interest me

if the story you are telling me

is true.

I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear

the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

 

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

 

I want to know

if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

 

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

 

It doesn’t interest me

who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

 

It doesn’t interest me

where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know

what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

 

I want to know

if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like

the company you keep

in the empty moments.

–Oriah 

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Want to know the background of this background, shown above?

Somebody in my therapy group yesterday morning suggested we project a YouTube video of a beach in Hawaii on the screen in the group room. We used that for our mindfulness exercise and then we left it running in the background throughout the group.

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What’s your background? Are backgrounds important to you?

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Please don’t stay in the background; instead, leave a comment below.

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My background includes an appreciation for acknowledging and expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — no matter what your background.

Day 1508: A quiet home

Yesterday, I returned to the quiet home of my EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist George after a long, disquieting absence. George and I talked quietly about how difficult it’s been for me to find a quiet home after the multiple traumas of open heart surgery, my pacemaker getting recalled, complications with the pacemaker replacement surgery, all the noise around the U.S. election, the loudness of my mechanical heart valve at night, and the fear and discomfort I’ve been experiencing internally and externally. During my quiet time with George, I realized I could create a quiet home wherever I am, by focusing on whatever helps quiet my mind and my soul.

Soon after that quieting session, I saw this:

I’d love a quiet home, too.  How about you?

Can you see any quiet homes in my other photos from yesterday?

 

 

 

While I was looking through windows of hope for quiet homes yesterday, I quietly heard this quiet music from Hamilton:

 

Thanks to all who helped me create  this quiet home today and to you — of course! — wherever your quiet homes are.