It’s for you that I write these blog posts. But it’s also for me. As I encounter so many ups and downs in life, blogging every morning strengthens me for the day ahead.
It’s for you that I’m trying out a new, unfamiliar-to-me editor as I blog today. But it’s also for me (to increase my confidence about using new technology as I prepare to host my 50th high school reunion on Zoom).
It’s for you that I captured all these images, but it’s also for me.
It’s for you and for me that I realize that “It’s for you” would make a good caption for this:
It’s for you that I have a comments section but it’s also for me.
It’s for you and for me that I collect images of gratitude to end these posts.
I’m grateful that writing this post with the new editor was much easier than I expected! This reminds me of the helpful cognition I’m working on in EMDR therapy:
I can trust myself, which allows me to figure out who else to trust.
Thanks to Pat, Lyle, Harley, Michael (for the burritos), the South Shore of Boston, our neighborhood church, our neighbors, snowy and not-so-snowy egrets, WordPress, and YOU.
Much to my surprise, I’ve already written one post titled The Element of Surprise. Would it surprise you if I shared how long it’s been since I created that post and all the surprising elements within?
Surprise! I’m not going to do that math today.
Do you like the element of surprise? Somebody does.
I won’t be surprised if people comment below that they like the element of surprise only in certain circumstances. Personally, I’m still waiting for somebody to throw me a successfully executed surprise party. And it’s probably no surprise if I say I’m hoping for no unpleasant surprises during the upcoming election season in the USA.
Can you find elements of surprise in any of these other recent images?
The last time I did a photo montage like that, I was unpleasantly surprised to see how the different photographic elements showed up on my phone. I …
.. hope that you can easily explore elements of surprise in those smaller photos, but I won’t be surprised if it’s difficult to do so.
That reminds me of the elementally unhelpful “negative cognition” I’m letting go of through EMDR therapy, which is surprisingly effective in healing old traumas:
I can’t trust anybody, including myself.
Did that surprise anybody?
Here’s something that surprised me and my husband Michael yesterday:
Here’s something that did not surprise me:
Here’s another element of surprise: when the PictureThis app identified this …
as poke, pokeberries, and poke salad, I was surprised.
I’m hoping that it’s no surprise when I end each post with gratitude, because I am so thankful I get to share elements of surprise, every day, with wonderful people like YOU.
A ZOOM training session to help with my upcoming 50th High School Reunion.
My 50th High School Reunion.
Th U.S. Presidential Election.
Magnificence.
The rest of my recent photos:
Harley hasn’t been as skittish, lately, when I’ve been approaching.
What’s been approaching, for you?
Every day, I encourage myself and others to be approaching what feels left unsaid, so we can be approaching a good enough sense of closure. Why? Because we never know when our last day is approaching.
WARNING: I keep forgetting what “EMDR” stands for and I have to look it up every time I write about it (like here and here).
George gave me an important warning, yesterday, in our therapy session. He warned that I give myself this warning way too much:
I have to hyper-vigilantly protect myself against the world’s incompetence, ignorance, hostility, lack of understanding, ambivalence, negligence, etc., in order to get my needs met and to survive.
WARNING: I write important warnings down so I can remember them.
George warned me that these constant warnings are probably bad for my health. He suggested I tell myself this instead:
I am safe. I have everything I need.
Do you see any warnings in my photos from yesterday?
WARNING: If children scare you, be warned that The Warning is a hard-rock band of three young sisters from Monterey, Mexico. Here‘s The Warning’s TED talk (and play):
WARNING: This writer loves comments on her posts, which you can leave below.
WARNING: I have everything I need, here and now, thanks to all who helped me create this post with warnings and — of course! — to YOU.
a: the scenery or ground behind something – a picture of her son with mountains in the background – background scenery for the play
bart: the part of a painting representing what lies behind objects in the foreground – dark shadows in the background of the painting
c: an image that displays on a computer screen underneath the various available icons and windows – As they participate, they earn “Kinetic City Points,” which they can spend on downloadable prizes, such as screensavers and computer backgrounds. — Science
an inconspicuous position – shy people who try to stay in the background
a. the conditions that form the setting within which something is experienced… set in a background of tropical luxuriance. — Tom Marvel
b(1): the circumstances or events antecedent to a phenomenon or development – the economic background of the American Civil Wartook place against a background of increasing tension
(2): information essential to understanding of a problem or situation – background information
c: the total of a person’s experience, knowledge, and education – comparing the candidates’ backgrounds – ran a background check to make sure she had no criminal record
a. intrusive sound or radiation that interferes with received or recorded electronic signals – a recording with a lot of background noise
bphysics: a more or less steady level of noise above which the effect being measured by an apparatus is detected; especially: a somewhat steady level of radiation in the natural environment (as from cosmic rays)
a level of computer processing at which the processor uses time not required for a primary task to work on an additional task — compare foreground.
In the background, I’ve been inconspicuously trying to correct the inevitable formatting errors and complications that occur whenever I try to bring a definition into the foreground of my blog.
Here’s the background of how I chose the title of today’s post: Yesterday morning I was changing backgrounds while I was self-soothing with a game of on-line solitaire.
Congratulations to me for winning at solitaire and congratulations to worldofsolitaire.com for offering so many backgrounds. I usually use the first background shown above; perhaps from now on I’ll use different backgrounds, depending on my mood.
After I solitarily photographed all those backgrounds, I noticed other backgrounds throughout my day.
That last photo, with the artwork and books in the background, shows my EMDR therapist, George Sawin, moving some EMDR equipment at the end of our session. George’s background includes psychotherapy, law enforcement, flower shops, and business management. When we were discussing the importance of backgrounds, I mentioned this poem to him:
Want to know the background of this background, shown above?
Somebody in my therapy group yesterday morning suggested we project a YouTube video of a beach in Hawaii on the screen in the group room. We used that for our mindfulness exercise and then we left it running in the background throughout the group.
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What’s your background? Are backgrounds important to you?
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Please don’t stay in the background; instead, leave a comment below.
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My background includes an appreciation for acknowledging and expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — no matter what your background.
Yesterday, I returned to the quiet home of my EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist George after a long, disquieting absence. George and I talked quietly about how difficult it’s been for me to find a quiet home after the multiple traumas of open heart surgery, my pacemaker getting recalled, complications with the pacemaker replacement surgery, all the noise around the U.S. election, the loudness of my mechanical heart valve at night, and the fear and discomfort I’ve been experiencing internally and externally. During my quiet time with George, I realized I could create a quiet home wherever I am, by focusing on whatever helps quiet my mind and my soul.
Soon after that quieting session, I saw this:
I’d love a quiet home, too. How about you?
Can you see any quiet homes in my other photos from yesterday?
Yesterday, after facilitating a therapy group I loved at work, I went to see my lovely Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist, George. I love EMDR, because it has helped me reduce my anxiety about very unlovely experiences I had in the hospital when I was a child.
Because I’m having open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic next Wednesday, I loved the opportunity to work with George in reducing my anxiety about that. George and I tried several lovely images to use when I’m going into surgery on September 21, including floating on the top of lovely water or being held by loving hands. I love that I came up with this idea at the end of the session: I said to George, “I shall just see the love in everything.” George loved that, too.
I love reporting to you that after the session, I saw the love in everything and everybody. I love that next week I shall also see the love in:
the lovely Deb, who will drive us to the airport in her lovely Honda Fit,
the security personnel at the airport,
the plane that takes my boyfriend Michael and me to Minneapolis,
the shuttle that transports us to Rochester,
the hotel where we’ll be staying across the street from the hospital before my admission,
all the staff at the Mayo Clinic,
all the tests they’ll give me,
the needles and other things they’ll poke me with,
the questions they’ll ask me,
the operating room,
the hands of my surgeon,
the cardiac care unit,
the machines I’ll be attached to,
the medications they’ll give me,
the tubes going in and out of my body, and
everything and everybody else during my recovery.
Do you see the love in everything I photographed yesterday?
I see the love in those cats named Stormcloud and Peaches, who are being adopted together by some lovely family today.
I see the love in this lovely tune, which my late father sang with love to my late mother at an anniversary celebration.
I will see the love in everything you leave in a comment.
I see the love in all who helped me create this post and in you, here and now.
People who work with me in therapy accept that I often focus on the importance of accepting all feelings, even uncomfortable ones like fear and sadness. If we accept all feelings, instead of repressing or judging them, then all feelings can naturally flow through us.
These days, I am accepting all feelings –including hope, fear, and sadness — as I feel my way towards open heart surgery on September 21.
Strangers are going to split me open, like they’re filleting a fish, and look at my totally exposed heart in a cold and lonely room.
to this thought:
People who want the best for me are going to have the privilege of seeing my unusual and beautiful heart and making it better. Maybe they’ll even take a picture of my heart so I can finally see it!
Throughout that EMDR exercise, I was accepting all feelings about this image (which I found here):
What feelings are you accepting now?
I am accepting all feelings about that image and about these photos I took yesterday:
I am accepting all feelings about all these songs about feelings (on YouTube here, here, here, and here):
Whatever feelings you have about this post, I accept them.
I’m accepting all my feelings of gratitude for those who helped me create this post and for you — of course! — no matter what feelings you’re accepting, here and now.
