Yesterday morning, after publishing Day 2460: Missing, I heard that I am going to get another go at performing my Fringe show Group “Therapy” with Ann.
Here I go again, doing two groups on a Thursday, which is how it goes for me back home at work in Boston.
It may seem like a risk to do two shows in one day with very little time to convince people to attend my show — among the thousands of shows and performances at Scotland’s Festival Fringe — but here we go again!!
When I go again today, I may sing different songs, like “I Left The House Before I Felt Ready” or “Hidden Thoughts.” Here I go again, having trouble making decisions. If necessary, I can always go again to the “coin flip” app on my phone.
Here we go again — with the rest of my photos from yesterday.
Here at the Bar Bados Fringe venue last night, my son, Aaron Fairbanks (a/k/a as “The Jail Mailman”) and one of our long-time favorite comedians, Tom Joyce, did their show — The Mail Room — again.
Here we go again with a video that Aaron’s proud mother recorded at last night’s performance of “The Mail Room.”
Here I go again, apologizing for the mistakes I made recording that. Here I go again, letting go of worry, perfectionism, fear, and self-judgment before my two performances today.
Here we go again with yet another request for comments, below.
Here we go again with gratitude, for all who help me go again, every day!!!
… and when I showed my boyfriend Michael Malone the birthday card with original art created by my newest good friend Alice Malone (no relation between those two cute Malones).
I think Alice Malone’s drawing of a tiger looking at ties is much more than cute. Don’t you?
I don’t think it’s cute how there’s a delay between my taking photos on my iPhone and my ability to post them in my blog, especially when I deliberately take pictures of things I think are cute. However, I will share all my other new photos from yesterday and share those other cute photos when they turn up (probably tomorrow).
If you decide you want a closer look at the cuteness in those photos, give a cute click on the photo of your choice.
While I am creating this blog post, a lot of cute people are distracting me (as I was distracted during my “cute” performance last night by a cute kid dancing in front of the audience) by wishing me a happy birthday.
I’m going to make another cute try and see if I can access those other cute photos.
What’s not inside this post is the second ending to that song, which I wrote in response to what my son, Aaron, was thinking about those lyrics.
What is inside this post, as usual, are my recent and previously unshared photos.
What’s not inside that photo montage is a picture of my son’s keyboard, which I plan to put inside my car on Friday and bring with me to the Open Mic.
What’s not inside YouTube are videos about what’s not inside things. Instead, searching on “What’s not Inside” at YouTube yields videos about what IS inside all the following:
Yesterday, at the end of a day when I had feared many outcomes that did not come to pass, I texted my friend, Jenn:
I will never fear again.
I will never fear again making statements like that. I have felt too much fear in my life and I fearlessly love the idea that I will never fear again.
I will never fear again sharing my photos with you.
I will never fear again sharing details of my life with you, like these:
On my way to Disney World I got the results of my 23andme DNA genetic test, which said I had “less than the average tendency to be afraid of heights.” After a life where I’ve been afraid of heights, I decided to believe that report and never fear heights again.
While my boyfriend Michael and I feared that he had seriously scratched up my little yellow car with an ice scraper, I was able to get most of them off by fearlessly and vigorously running my thumb over them while it was still cold as ice. I will never fear again somebody doing damage to my car.
People in my group yesterday found it helpful to make lists of “Too Much” and “Too Little.” I will never fear again suggesting an exercise in one of my groups.
One of my patients made me a beautiful red hat. I will never fear again accepting a gift like that.
I will never fear again asking my readers a question like this: what do you think would happen if you decided to never fear again?
I will never fear again requesting comments for a blog post.
I will never fear again expressing my authentic feelings, including gratitude for all who helped me create this post without fear and — of course! — YOU.
What are the themes in yesterday’s photos from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe?
The themes I notice there include music, performers, location, help, animals, food, love, family, friendship, honesty, and humor, all important themes in my life.
When I do therapy groups, I always ask people, “What are the themes?” If I do a Fringe show in Edinburgh next year, I’ll ask that question too.
One constant theme in this daily blog is gratitude. Thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
When I was walking the right way down an Edinburgh street yesterday, I observed this:
What IS the right way, dear readers, in these times of right OR left, us OR them, my way OR the highway?
For me, the right way includes loving yourself and others …
… being responsible for your tasks …
… thoughtful consumption of food and other resources …
… finding the wisdom in books and other people …
… being surprised by joy …
… communicating with others the best you can …
… finding the humor wherever you can …
… singing along, realizing that beauty is everywhere…
… even in your own body and soul, and recognizing that change is scary.
Also, the right way includes looking out for each other, especially when people fear change.
The right way to end this post is with gratitude for all who help me find the right way, every day, to create this blog and for YOU, who found your way here.
Yesterday, when I was wearing that t-shirt, somebody asked me, “Who is it?” and I didn’t have an answer.
Apparently, it’s not me this morning. My laptop computer is inexplicably dead, dead, dead and I am calm, calm, calm, despite my usual panic about such things.
If it’s not me, who is it? Perhaps it’s somebody who finally realizes that fear and panic solve nothing.
It’s not me in my other photos from yesterday.
It’s now me pointing out that my laptop was working perfectly well last night before we watched the Boston fireworks from our home.
It’s not me who can fix an Apple laptop, so I’ll be consulting some expert today.
It is me who is the expert on my own experience; it’s not me who is the expert on computer technology (even though I used to be a technical writer).
It’s not me who prefers to blog on my phone; it is me who overcomes obstacles to do what’s important to me.
It’s not me who is singing this …
… but it is me who will be performing my second original song at an Open Mic tomorrow night.
It’s not me who said “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life” but it is me who has gratitude, here and now, for all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for YOU.
When I am confused by somebody’s actions or statements, I like to ask “What’s your intent?”
If I don’t ask, I assume what the intent is and I’m probably wrong.
If I knew the owner of this car …
… I would ask “What’s your intent in having that license plate?” Because I don’t know that person, I assume it’s a communication about disaster. What kind of disaster? Maybe living in Maine is a disaster for a lobster.
What’s my intent in taking and sharing these other photos?
My intent is to tell you that you are not alone. We’re all in this together.
