Day 2888: What counts

Yesterday, USA Thanksgiving 2020, I spent part of the day counting and recounting the numbers in my blog posts. As you probably know, I’ve been counting the days in my post titles for many years. Even though I am careful to count accurately (because accuracy and truth count), none of us can count on perfection.

As I was counting past blogging days, I found I had lost count on a day when I was focusing on the loss of my friend, Eleanor, who counted very much to me and on whom I could always count. Once I found that error in the count, I did a recount and now, I think, the count is accurate. However, I wouldn’t completely count on it.

Besides fixing the blogging count, I spent much of Thanksgiving day telling people who count (including YOU) how thankful I am for them.

What counts in my photos from yesterday ?

When I was recounting my posts, I found some words that counted a lot, including that Turkish proverb on Turkey Day. I know I am not alone in counting the days until the Axe is no longer President of the USA.

For those of you who count on puns, now it’s time for me to axe for comments, below.

Here‘s “Count’s Place” with Count Basie and The Kansas City 7.

I count on you every day and thanks for helping me make every day count!

Day 2821: Fall

As we approach the fall of 2020, I’m wondering what is going to fall apart and what is going to fall together.

Do you see fall in these recent images?

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Those who forget history are doomed, period, so VOTE this fall.

Here‘s a tribute to Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg which falls beautifully into place:

I look forward to reading whatever thoughts and feelings fall into the comments section, below.

Gratitude prevents me from falling every day, so thanks to all who help me create these fall, winter, spring, and summer posts, including YOU.

Day 2754: Reasons you should speak up

Are you ever in situations where you don’t speak up, and you’re not sure why you are silencing yourself?

I’ve noticed this in myself and in others. And this tendency to not speak up is especially critical these days, when silence can equal violence.

Besides that article about speaking up against racism (linked to in the previous paragraph), I’m also looking at a helpful article by Kevin Daum that discusses 5 Reasons You Should Speak Up (Even When You Think You Shouldn’t).  For me, the highlights of that article are that

• Silence is deemed approval and is not an effective way to avoid conflict.
• Many stay silent because they don’t want to do any harm by criticizing or offending someone.
• It’s important to show your commitment to the process by being vocal.
• Honesty builds trust, especially when combined with tact and empathy.
• What’s obvious to you might not be obvious to others.
• You may not be alone in your thinking.

Are there other reasons to speak up? What might get in the way of you speaking up about that, here?

For me, what gets in the way of speaking up includes:

• fear of doing harm,
• fear of being misunderstood,
• fear of feeling alone,
• fear of being attacked for my opinion,
• fear of exposing myself or others,
• fears that are difficult to describe but which have lived in my heart for a long time,
• wanting to maintain harmony whenever possible,
• internalized sexism,
• internalized ageism,
• the saying “silence is golden,”
• not being sure, in the moment, of what I want to say,
• wishing to hear all sides before I decide what I want to say,
• denial about what is going on (if the situation feels uncomfortable),
• believing that the time  to speak up has passed,
• distraction,
• exhaustion,
• mind-reading, catastrophizing, and other cognitive distortions.

However, when I don’t speak up, I usually regret it. It’s helpful for me to

• remember that I CAN  speak up next time and
• forgive myself for my past silences, because guilt and shame are silencers.

Are there reasons to speak up about my pictures from yesterday?

 

Please don’t be afraid of those right and wrong buzzers and speak up in a comment, below.

I also want to speak up about my friend Megan …

… who gives me the courage to speak up. Yesterday, we spoke up to each other about the pandemic, racism, privilege, our work as therapists, the death of a shared patient from COVID-19,  difficult people, uncertainty, masks, politics, hopes, our children, the past, the present, the future, and our long-time friendship.

Here‘s “Speak Up, Speak Out” from Melinda Carroll:

 

Nothing gets in the way of my speaking up  about my gratitude to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 1642: Self Centered

Welcome to another self centered post here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.

SELF

Notice how self centered this post is already?

Yesterday, I told  people in therapy sessions not to judge themselves for being self centered.  How could we not be self centered? If we don’t put ourselves in the center of our own lives, who will?

I, myself, constantly witness people judging themselves very harshly for being self centered, labeling themselves too selfish, too self-absorbed and even narcissistic.  This is what I tell those selves:

“If you worry about being a narcissist, you’re not.”

I know my self well enough to know I’m not  a narcissist, even though I’ve stopped worrying about that.

Here are some self centered photos from yesterday:

 

Michael himself centered that delicious food on a plate for me last night after my self-centered therapy group.

Here’s some Self Centered Blues:

 

This self is looking forward to some self centered comments, below.

Thanks to all the selves who helped my self create another self centered post and to you — of course! — for being your self.