Let’s look at the meaning of today’s title: “Looks can be deceiving.”
looks can be deceiving/deceptive
idiom
—used to say that something can be very different from how it seems or appears to be
The restaurant doesn’t look very appealing, but looks can be deceiving/deceptive.
I think many things and people can be deceiving, especially these days. I wish that those who are commenting on the deceiving people would focus less on their looks and more on their deeds. For example, I’m tired of hearing how
Rudy Giuliani looks like a ghoul or a vampire (even if these observations are appropriate to the season) and
Donald Trump looks like a cheeto or something else orange.
After all, looks can be deceiving. I’m sure there are people out there looking like ghouls, vampires, cheetos, or other odd-looking things who are honest, kind, and effective leaders. Likewise, there are people out there who look great and are deceiving, manipulative, and scary.
… many social scientists and others who study the science of stereotyping say there are reasons we quickly size people up based on how they look. Snap judgments about people are crucial to the way we function, they say — even when those judgments are very wrong.
On a very basic level, judging people by appearance means putting them quickly into impersonal categories, much like deciding whether an animal is a dog or a cat. “Stereotypes are seen as a necessary mechanism for making sense of information,” said David Amodio, an assistant professor of psychology at New York University. “If we look at a chair, we can categorize it quickly even though there are many different kinds of chairs out there.”
Eons ago, this capability was of life-and-death importance, and humans developed the ability to gauge other people within seconds.
Susan Fiske, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Princeton, said that traditionally, most stereotypes break down into two broad dimensions: whether a person appears to have malignant or benign intent and whether a person appears dangerous. “In ancestral times, it was important to stay away from people who looked angry and dominant,” she said.
Women are also subdivided into “traditionally attractive” women, who “don’t look dominant, have baby-faced features,” Professor Fiske said. “They’re not threatening.”
Indeed, attractiveness is one thing that can make stereotypes self-fulfilling and reinforcing. Attractive people are “credited with being socially skilled,” Professor Fiske said, and maybe they are, because “if you’re beautiful or handsome, people laugh at your jokes and interact with you in such a way that it’s easy to be socially skilled.”
“If you’re unattractive, it’s harder to get all that stuff because people don’t seek you out,” she said.
AGE plays a role in forging stereotypes, too, with older people traditionally seen as “harmless and useless,” Professor Fiske said. In fact, she said, research has shown that racial and ethnic stereotypes are easier to change over time than gender and age stereotypes, which are “particularly sticky.”
Since I’m an older woman, I have to work extra hard to prove that I am neither useless nor any other “particularly sticky” stereotype. I’m sure I’m not alone in needing to show that looks can be deceiving.
Let’s see if looks can be deceiving in any of my photos from yesterday.
Because I have the authority to know such things, I can declare that I have never before used the term “authority issues” (or even the word “authority”) in any of the thousands of post titles I’ve issued over the years, here at this daily blog.
I don’t have any issues about that, but let’s see if finding a definition of the term “authority issues” is an issue this morning.
When we say we have issues with authority it means we have difficulty with individuals who wield power over us. This could be our boss, but also someone with higher social status, or anyone who has something we want and the power to withhold it. … The trouble lies in the way we feel about authority.
I remember, years ago — when authority was an issue at my previous workplace — saying to a co-worker, “Apparently, I have authority issues,” and her replying, “Ann! Who doesn’t have authority issues?”
I will say that I have MANY issues with people in authority these days (including the President of these United States). How about you? What are your authority issues? Only you have the authority to say.
Today, I have to deal with two bureaucracies who have “something we want and the power to withhold it …” that is, the Internal Revenue Service (who still have not issued my refund) and an insurance company. Because I have authority issues, I am not looking forward to any of the issues that may arise during those encounters.
I do have the authority to issue whatever photos I want here, because it’s my blog! Let’s see if there are any authority issues in my latest photos:
Who has the authority to say “Michael shows a lot of authority in his cooking” or “Harley obviously has authority over that squirrel”?
Considering the speeches we’re hearing this month, I would prefer stillness.
Therefore, I am not going to make any speeches this month. I’m just going to share all the photos I’ve been taking, looking for better stable geniuses around me. I hope these pictures help you feel better, hear and now.
I will share this: I’ve been hearing better speeches about my Coping and Healing groups during Better Speech and Hearing Month, which makes it easier to share groups I love.
How might you celebrate Better Speech and Hearing Month?
Personally, I’m looking forward to hearing better speeches (and maybe new comedy monologues) from my son, Aaron, who arrives from Edinburgh today!
I look forward to hearing my readers’ speeches in the comments section, below.
It’s better, during any month, to share gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create all of my blog posts during Better Speech and Hearing Month, and — of course! — thanks to YOU, as always, for hearing me out.
I’m guilty of sharing guilt in my blog lately, as you can see in these photos:
I’m guilty, in my therapy groups, of using this book
to pose questions like “If you were to take a look at the various ‘guilts’ that you carry around with you, which would be least justified and which would be most justified?”
Sometimes I feel guilty when I snap photos. Yesterday, I saw a mangled bicycle in the middle of a busy intersection on my daily walk near work. I considered capturing that sad but compelling image on my iPhone, but I knew I would feel guilty if I did. This story about that bicycle showed up on my news feed a few minutes ago.
I did not feel guilty taking these other photos yesterday:
I’m guilty of holding on to hope even in the midst of death, destruction and national emergencies.
What the hell! Did anybody else have a week where you asked yourself,
“What the hell happened?”
When you’re talking to somebody on the phone and they’re suddenly not there, do you ask yourself, “What the hell happened? Did they hang up on me? Was it something I said? Are they angry? Did their phone lose power? Is the signal week? Should I call back? Are they calling me back?”
What the hell happened in these photos?
What the hell happened in the first photo above and the last one? First photo: We did a mindfulness exercise in a therapy group last week where we focused on a piece of paper we crumpled and then unfolded. Last photo: a group calling themselves “Gym Class” performed Lou Reed’s “Take a Walk on the Wild Side” at an open mic last night.
Over two years ago, when I was in the hospital dealing with pneumonia and heart failure, I wrote a blog post titled “Masks“.
Yesterday, in a therapy group, people talked about the relationships between the masks they wear on the outside and how they feel inside. I keep the identify of my group members masked because of confidentiality; therefore I only show what I create in group, including this mask:
Do you see masks in my other photos from yesterday?
My shameless appeals for applause in that song include having a heart condition, being a single mother, and who I did NOT vote for in the 2016 USA presidential election.
This year, I’ve been making shameless appeals for applause with my original songs on the first Friday of every month at an acoustic Open Mic in Arlington, Massachusetts (see here for my shameless appeals for applause there in August). However, I still have some laryngitis, so I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to appeal for applause this coming Friday.
In the meantime, do you see any shameless appeals for applause in my photos from yesterday?
I shamelessly included one of those photos above because it evokes the name of another song I’m writing: “Triggers.”
Is including this patriotic song — also evoked by a photo above — another shameless appeal for applause?
Now I shall make another shameless appeal, this time for comments on this post.
Thanks to the Hingham Shipyard, to those who serve, to every one else who helped me create today’s shameless appeals for applause here at WordPress and — of course! — to YOU, who deserve applause for visiting my blog.
For the first time in my life, I have laryngitis, which means most things are unspeakable for me right now.
After reading the news today, I can’t speak about some unspeakable stories. However, I can write my thoughts and feelings here.
It’s unspeakable to me how many mass shootings there are in the USA. When my son got into the University of Edinburgh and a few USA colleges in 2016, I spoke to him about my preference of where he might go to school. I spoke of my belief that he would be safer outside of the USA because of all the unspeakable school shootings and the unspeakble access to guns here.
1 : spinal column, spine
2 : something that resembles a backbone: such as
a : a chief mountain ridge, range, or system
b : the foundation or most substantial or sturdiest part of something
c : the longest chain of atoms or groups of atoms in a usually long molecule (such as a polymer or protein)
d : the primary high-speed hardware and transmission lines of a telecommunications network (such as the Internet)
3 : firm and resolute character
I hope I’m exhibiting firm and resolute character as I send you this blog post over the primary high-speed hardware and transmission lines of the internet.
Do you see any backbone in my other photos today?
There are several “Backbone” songs on YouTube, including this one:
Feel free to show some backbone in a comment, below.
Gratitude is a backbone of this daily blog, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
