Day 2465: What are you feeling?

What are you feeling, dear reader?

Are you feeling curious?

Are you feeling shy?

Are you feeling content?

Confused?  Sad?

 

Bitchy?

Conceited?  Forgetful?  Nice?  Sarcastic?

Exclusive?  Appreciated?

Valued?  Colorful?

Different?

Real?

Rewarding?  Rewarded?  Hungry?

 

Above it all?

Determined?

 

All of the above?  None of the above?  Some of the above?

Are you feeling any feelings not included here?

What are you feeling about your feelings?

What are you feeling about this song?

Are you feeling ready to express your feelings in a comment below?

What am I feeling, here and now?  I’m feeling many different feelings, including gratitude to YOU.

Now I feel like saying, “Bye and see you tomorrow!”

Day 2250: What we are trying to tell each other

What am I trying to tell you in today’s post?

I’m trying to tell you that I’m at the AGPA group therapy conference in Los Angeles, where I’m learning to tell myself and others more about the practice of group therapy.

I’m trying to tell you that I couldn’t sleep two nights ago, in anticipation of the second day of a two-day experience group, where therapists learn from each other by doing group work together.

I’m trying to tell you that the night my mother died, over ten years ago, she told a home health aide she wanted to call me on the phone to tell me something.

I’m trying to tell you that the home health aide told my mother she wouldn’t call me, because it was in the middle of the night and she shouldn’t disturb me. (I tried to tell that story in a blog post several years ago, here.)

I’m trying to tell you that event has disturbed and haunted me ever since —  my mother being told she couldn’t tell me what she was trying to tell me right before she died.

I’m trying to tell you that I have tried to put  to rest that mystery and my feelings about it in many different ways, including letting online tarot card readings tell me what my mother was trying to tell me.

I’m trying to tell you that during my recent sleepless night here in Los Angeles, I finally let the tarot cards tell me what I wanted to know, by asking a very specific Yes/No question for the first time.

I’m trying to tell you that this telling image is the only new photo I have to share with you today:

I’m trying to tell you that

• it’s telling what questions we ask of the universe,
• we need to tell our personal stories, and
• closure helps us tell new stories, as we move on.

I’m trying to tell you that the video I told you about in this recent post  is finally available for sharing.

By writing new words to the song Feelings, I’m trying to tell people about the local affiliates of the national group therapy organization, AGPA.

Now it’s your turn to try to tell us something in the comments section, below.

I try to tell you how grateful I am at the end of each post, like now.

 

Day 2019: Hey!

Hey!  Do you know the meaning of “hey”?

hey
hā
exclamation
used to attract attention, to express surprise, interest, or annoyance, or to elicit agreement.
“hey, what’s going on here?”
US
used as a friendly greeting.
“I just called to say hey”

Hey!  One syllable can express surprise, interest, annoyance, elicit agreement, or be a friendly greeting. Hey!  How can we know what people really mean when they say “Hey!”?

Hey!  Look at all the photos I took yesterday!

 

Hey!  Those are three people I love.   Hey!  Did you notice that my Primary Care Physician, Dr. Laura Snydman, was running late yesterday?  Hey!  What else did you notice?

Hey! I forgot to include the photo I took after yesterday’s Coping and Healing group, where we focused on feelings.

Hey!  I hope you know that all feelings are accepted here.

Hey!  Here’s “Hey Ya!” by Outkast:

 

Hey!  If you can’t see that VEVO video, maybe you can see this one:

Hey!  Here‘s another live performance of “Hey Ya!”

 

Hey!  I’m grateful to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 1975: How we make each other feel

How do you make others feel?  How do others make you feel?

How does this sign make you feel?

Actually, I feel like we (humans and, perhaps, pizzas) are all responsible for our own feelings.  In other words, nobody can really “make” someone else feel anything. (Although we can make pizza.)   Our feelings are our own — we can’t blame others for how we feel. However, people affect each other’s feelings, in many ways.

So, if you feel

• inadequate,
• sure,

• welcome,

• unwelcome,

 

• peaceful,

• good,

• coerced,

• threatened or any other feeling, ask yourself some questions.

Who might be affecting me? What am I feeling?  Why?  Do I wear those feelings well or are those feelings wearing me out?  What can I do about this?

Yesterday, Tim

at the Apple Genius Bar

affected my feelings and my son’s feelings very positively.  While Tim didn’t make me feel like a genius, he was a genius at his job.  Naturally, I made my positive feelings known to Tim and to Tim’s manager.

Speaking of naturally, here‘s Aretha Franklin telling everybody how she feels in 2015:

Feel free to express any feelings you have in a comment, below.

As always, I feel very grateful to all who helped me create this post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 1824: Why am I feeling this way?

Why am I feeling this way?

Yesterday, somebody in therapy asked that question and then another question about feelings. Because of the way I was feeling, I wrote both questions up on the board.

Now, I’m going to ask myself those two questions.

Why am I feeling this way?

I’m not sure.  It could be the extreme cold, the lack of light, this time of  year, the news, politics, pain I feel when I use my dominant arm, and awareness of other people’s suffering.

What is this feeling?

I’m not sure. It’s probably a mixture of fear, sadness, anger, and empathy.

Now I’m going to ask myself those two important questions, again.

Why am I feeling this way?

I’m not sure. It could be my son, my partner, my family and friends, my work, my blogging community, my home, our cats, and awareness of my other blessings.

What is this feeling?

I’m not sure. It’s probably a mixture of gratitude, happiness, and hope.

Why am I feeling that it helps to ask those questions? Because of my experience.

Why am I feeling this way about these photos?

 

What is this feeling? I’m not sure.  Is “Stop and Smell the Roses” a feeling?

Why am I feeling this way about this video?

What is this feeling?  It’s gratitude for all who helped me create this post and — of course! — for YOU.

 

 

Day 1656: Holding on

I’m holding on to many things as we pack up to move, including

• my sense of humor,
• things I find valuable,
• my job,
• creatures I love,
• my thoughts,
• my feelings,
• my sanity, and
• my iPhone, so I can be put on hold and also take pictures of my holdings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before I started writing today’s blog post, I got a little ferklempt at the end of this excerpt from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Show (which is holding on here at YouTube):

 

As always, I’m holding on to gratitude for all those who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for you, who keep me holding on.

 

 

Day 1270: Accepting all feelings

People who work with me in therapy accept that I often focus on the importance of accepting all feelings, even uncomfortable ones like fear and sadness. If we accept all feelings, instead of repressing or judging them, then all feelings can naturally flow through us.

These days, I am accepting all feelings –including hope, fear, and sadness — as I feel my way towards open heart surgery on September 21.

Yesterday, I accepted all feelings in an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing  (EMDR) therapy session. In that session, I transformed all my feelings about this thought:

Strangers are going to split me open, like they’re filleting a fish, and look at my totally exposed heart in a cold and lonely room.

to this thought:

People who want the best for me are going to have the privilege of seeing my unusual  and beautiful heart and making it better. Maybe they’ll even take a picture of my heart so I can finally see it!

Throughout that EMDR exercise, I was accepting all feelings about this image (which I found here):

What feelings are you accepting now?

I am accepting all feelings about that image and about these photos I took yesterday:

I am accepting all feelings about all these songs about feelings (on YouTube here, here,  here, and here):

Whatever feelings you have about this post, I accept them.

I’m accepting all my feelings of gratitude for those who helped me create this post and for you — of course! — no matter what feelings you’re accepting, here and now.

Day 258: All of you is lovable

All of you is lovable.

What does that mean?

All the different parts of you are lovable.

What does THAT mean?

I mean that all the things that make up you, in the moment, are lovable.  That includes all your feelings — even the ones you judge or disown (like fear, perhaps, or anger, or sadness). That includes all your body parts — even the ones you may not like so much.

Lots of things, in the past — bad and good — have contributed to what you are in this moment. But what you are, right now, is lovable.

Does that mean that you feel loved, or are loved?

I don’t know.

But I know that you are lovable.

All of you.

How do I know?

I’m very smart.

How can I prove that to you?

Read my friggin’ posts, people!

Thanks to humility, pride, and all the other parts of being human. And thanks to lovable you, for reading today.

Day 150: The A-word

This post is dedicated to my friends Rob and Gene.

The very first week of this blog, I wrote about a word that I hesitated naming.   That was the P-word, which was Procrastination.    I hesitated to speak its name, because that can be a loaded, self-critical and unhelpful word for a human process I see everywhere — in myself and in others, too.

Yesterday, I wrote about another word, that I felt the urge to not-name, also.  That was the D-word.  And THAT was a word that a lot of people try to avoid.

Death. (Eeeek!)

Phew.  So much for the D-word, in THIS post.  (I’m definitely on board with Death Avoidance today, people.) (Although, earlier today I was worrying about some deadlines.  And take a look at THAT word. Dead-lines!  Geesh! Is that word supposed to motivate us or paralyze us with fear?!)

Anyway, moving on, to today’s  Word-That-Might-Not-Be-Named.

I would like to present, ladies and gentlemen, the A-word.

Anger.

Not quite as scary as death.  But still difficult for me (and a lot of other people, I believe) to talk about.  And to deal with.

This is what I’m noticing about anger, these days:

•  Most people (including me) don’t have good role models for How To Experience and Express Anger Effectively.
• Anger is an emotion that a lot of people disown and dislike in themselves and in others.
• Anger is just another human emotion, like sadness, joy, and fear.  Everybody reading this blog has all those emotions. (If Mr. Spock is reading this blog, he knows that he has them, too.)
• Anger is the human reaction to injustice and to fundamental needs not being met.
• Anger has a lot of energy, to help us change that which is unjust and not serving us well.
• Anger, the way it is expressed out in the world,  is tied up with hatred and violence (which can be very confusing and frightening).

I’m not sure what the “solution” is …. to the “problem” of anger in the world (and in ourselves).

My belief is that the first step is accepting anger as human — as something useful and maybe even beautiful. Then, maybe we can  do better at figuring out more effective ways to express and use that Energy of Anger.

I think this is a tough topic, people. I’m not surprised that I procrastinated writing about this, until Day 150.  (Even death was easier to broach, apparently!)

As always, I am curious and eager to hear your thoughts about this.  And thanks so much, for reading today!