Here are some of the puzzles I’ve been working on:
How to get doctors to attend group meetings — that have been shown to reduce burnout — when they are too busy to attend.
How to balance my own self care with the care of others.
How to write and publish an article about my therapy groups.
How to move forward with my song-writing “career.”
How to fix the seemingly intractable 68 errors in the information that was supposed to automatically and seamlessly transfer to my income tax preparation software.
How to do a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle in a house with cats.
I’m realizing, here and now, that it helps me to reframe problems and obstacles as interesting puzzles I’m trying to solve, rather than potential sources of pain and failure. That way, I approach the day with curiosity and excitement, rather than with dread and worry.
Do you see puzzles in my images for today (as I try to fit the pieces together)?
I will try not to feel really stupid solving tax (and other) puzzles on Companies that Care Day, Freedom of Information Day, and Everything You Do is Right Day.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “puzzles.”
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Thanks to all who help me solve puzzles every day, including YOU.
I pointed out in a group yesterday that that women were interrupted way more often than men,
I have many wonderful women friends, including my life-long friend Barbara, whose birthday is today,
I know that women often have trouble accepting their own anger and their own awesomeness,
I’m very good at word games, and
as usual, I’m sharing the Daily Bitch Calendar and other images with you today.
I am woman and I’m glad I’m writing this post on Girls Write Now Day, International (Working) Women’s Day, National Be Nasty Day, and UN Day for Women’s Rights & International Peace.
Here’s what I find when I search for “I am Woman” on YouTube:
I’ve also been hearing this in my head as I’ve been creating this I-am-woman post:
I am woman and I am grateful to all the human beings who help me write this daily blog, including YOU!
Do you have a problem with my first image for today?
Do you have a problem reading what’s under “Hide” in that helpful diagram? Don’t worry.
Do you have a problem believing that when I first saw that diagram I thought I was supposed to hide if I had a problem?
Do you have a problem with the fact that I’m creating today’s blog post really quickly because I have to catch a train to NYC for a week-long group therapy conference?
Do you have a problem with any of my other images for today?
Do you have a problem believing that cheese doodles are one of my favorite snacks?
This week, I’ve been having many conversations with people about who gets our attention. Unfortunately, we tend to give a lot of attention to those who might be a threat to us, which makes sense from a survival standpoint but which also gives toxic people too much free rent in our heads. Also, toxic people crave attention and all the attention we give them inspires them to keep doing their toxic behaviors.
I remember a training group I participated in years ago where one of the group members was incredibly toxic — hateful, attacking, and constantly attention seeking. At the end of the training group, I gave the group leader this feedback — Why on earth did you give that guy so much of your attention? It gave so little room for the rest of us and that only made us hate him more.
And yet I see that pattern everywhere. Who does the media give attention to? Not people who are good role models or inspirational leaders. No. Again, we give our attention to the toxic attention seekers, the people who fill headlines with their bad behaviors.
If you doubt this, look who is getting attention in the news today. For the most part, it’s people I would happily never see or hear from again. (I’m not going to name their names because I don’t want to give them more attention.)
Who gets our attention in my images for today?
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Here’s what I find when I search for “who gets our attention” on YouTube.
Yesterday, when I showed up for my monthly supervision session about group therapy, we discussed my anxiety about starting a group for doctors next week. While I usually feel anxious about starting a group where new people will be showing up, more anxiety than usual has been showing up for me about this particular group.
My supervisor asked if I had any idea why I felt more anxiety about a group where doctors would be showing up. The answer showed up immediately — I can get scared of doctors because of how they showed up for me when I was a child dealing with many hospitalizations due to my heart condition.
I love the way my supervisor then showed up with an observation. She said, “You know, Ann, the child who had all those traumatic experiences with doctors doesn’t have to show up for the group next week.” I asked, “What would she possibly be doing instead?” My supervisor suggested she could do something fun, like playing a game.
Because that inner child shows up everywhere I go, I can’t imagine that she won’t show up for the group next week. However, it really helped for me to realize that she didn’t have to RUN the group. Instead, she can sit back (and maybe even play) while an adult, experienced group therapist (that’s me!) facilitates the group for the doctors who show up.
Let’s see who shows up in my images for today.
As usual, the Daily Bitch shows up in this daily blog.
Here’s what shows up when I search YouTube for “who shows up.”
I look forward to seeing who shows up in the comments section, below.
I’m realizing, here and now, that what helps me feel better is more acceptance and less pressure.
It helps me feel better to clarify that first sentence: if I accept myself and others and I put less pressure on myself to do more and to do things perfectly, I feel better.
It helps me feel better to be aware of my dreams. For example, last night I dreamt that I was trying to facilitate a Coping and Healing therapy group in a huge cavernous location with many rooms, a bad sound system, and people who weren’t really interested in participating. After trying to help them feel better to no avail, I stopped the group and let everyone go. It helps me feel better to realize that is probably an anxiety dream about my starting new groups for the doctors where I work.
It helps me feel better to realize I’ve accomplished enough in my long life and, at this point, I can relax and let go. It helps me feel better to know I can keep reminding myself of this, every day.
Does anything in this blog post help you feel better?
I hope it helps you feel better to know there’s a new year’s worth of The Daily Bitch Calendar.
Here’s the first thing I find on YouTube when I search for “what helps you feel better?”
Thanks to all who who help me feel better, including YOU!
When I asked this question on Twitter last night …
… I knew that some people would respond that being proud was not a good thing, while others would happily cite family members and their own accomplishments.
The definition of “proud” reflects this dichotomy:
Last week in a therapy group, I invited people to brag about themselves and, similarly, some people easily described what they were proud of and others struggled with that.
I think that many of us have been taught that pride is a sin and I’m proud of the fact that I’ve helped people realize that it is not a sin, but rather a healthy connection with one’s own self worth.
I’m proud that I wrote the above quickly with minimal rewriting and I’m proud that I’ve gathered all these images for you today:
The Daily Bitch seems proud about her relationship with cheese.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “proud.”
What something you’re proud of?
I’m proud that I have so many wonderful people in my life, including YOU.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 