Day 3740: Anger

Some people believe that depression is anger directed at the self. I am trying to avoid depression, here and now, by expressing my anger in this blog.

I have anger about

• my country’s inability to ban assault weapons,
• the erosion of the truth in public discourse,
• systemic injustices towards marginalized people,
• passive aggressiveness and other gaslighting behaviors, and
• the intermittent, loud knocking in the walls when we use our new shower, which the plumber says can’t be fixed without tearing down walls.

Now that I’ve named those causes of my anger, I can think about what I can and can’t do to mitigate them (which helps me, at least).

Do you see anger in any of my images for today?

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I get angry when I see “Texas Loves the Children Day” and think about the children in Texas killed by gun violence, but I’m not angry about this description:

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Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “anger”:

I appreciate that talk about anger, especially this comparison of anger to a child: you don’t want to let it drive the car, but you also don’t want to stuff it in the trunk.

Thanks to those who help me accept and express anger and all my other feelings, including YOU!

Day 3724: Nice!

“Nice!” I just said to myself when I woke up with plenty of time to blog and get to the hospital for my first day of work after a week-long group therapy conference, where several people told me I was nice. When people tell me I’m nice, it’s often after I’ve given them a sincere compliment and I usually respond, “I’m not nice, I’m authentic.”

Yesterday, when my nice husband Michael and I went food shopping, I saw another nice little yellow Honda Fit in the parking lot, so I pulled into the space next to it and took a picture.

Nice!

Later, I noticed that somebody had left a note on my windshield and Michael and I speculated on what it might say. My guess was that the note said “nice car!” Here’s the note:

That’s so nice and here are my other images for today (which include several images shared by a nice guy on Twitter):

It IS nice to believe in yourself. Here’s the first thing I find on YouTube when I search for “nice”:

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Nice!

Thanks to all the nice people who read this daily blog, including YOU!

Day 3720: For the first time

For the first time yesterday, I

• was vulnerable in a two-day process group at a yearly group therapy conference without subsequently feeling any shame at all,
• told people in the group that it was National Be Nasty Day as an invitation to people (especially the women) to accept all our feelings, including anger,
• went to Sarge’s Deli,
• talked to somebody at Sarge’s about the fabulous Dr. Irwin Corey, who was a regular customer there,
• saw the musical Six, and
• posted this question about doing things for the first time on Twitter.

For the first time, I’m going to be nasty and post an annoying response to one of my Twitter questions:

For the first time, I’m going to say that I really don’t appreciate the characterization of “tiresome question” and the claim of posing “a better question” despite the reality that we really don’t know if we’re doing something for the last time. For the first time, I’m going to admit my petty glee that not one person has responded to that tweet.

I am posting all these other images for the first time.

For the first time, I know what Bang-Clang Day means, which commemorates something being done for the first time.

For the first time, I’m sharing this video:

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Thanks to everyone who helps me have the courage to do things for the first time, including YOU.

Day 3620: Comfortable

I’m comfortable writing these blog posts, after almost 10 years of doing them daily.

Practice may not make perfect (because who or what is perfect?), but practice does make me more comfortable.

I’m comfortable looking for quotes for any blogging topic, like these:

I am not comfortable with home repair decisions because I make so few of them, but a plumber is coming in less than an hour to help make our upstairs shower a comfortable space.

Do you see anything comfortable in my other images for today?

The Daily Bitch is comfortable sharing her opinion about being conformance.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “comfortable.”

Thanks to all who help me feel comfortable here, including YOU!

Day 3475: The past, present, and future

In the past, I’ve experienced trauma, fear, sadness, anger, joy, shame, pride, loss, grief, love, friendship, beauty, ugliness, hope, despair, mistakes, lessons learned, the unexpected, the expected, connection, disconnection, injustice, justice, privilege, emotional pain, physical pain, healing, comedy, tragedy, triumphs, disappointments, and many adventures.

In the present, I’m grateful to be writing another blog post for me and for you.

In the future, I’ll be inviting people (including myself) to focus less on the past and future and more on the present.

Can you see the past, present, and future in my images for today?

I see the past, present, and future in today’s National Days. For example, ice cream 🍨🍦is in my future, even if the lottery isn’t.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “the past, present, and future.”

I also find this:

In the present, I’m smiling at one of the comments about that video on YouTube: “Try telling your boss that time is an illusion.”

Thanks to all who read this blog in the past, the present, and future, including YOU!

Day 3424: What we try to avoid

Last night, I asked a question on Twitter about what people try to avoid:

The many interesting answers include COVID, toxic people, bullets, crowds, drinking, certain types of food, conflict, drama, and (of course!) last questions of the day. There is no avoiding the cleverness and resourcefulness of the people on Twitter.

I notice we humans also try to avoid difficult feelings, like grief — which is a problem during these grief-inducing times. I believe we need to welcome all our feelings as a way to move through them. Even though I’ve shared it before, I will not avoid presenting this wonderful poem by Rumi:

I’ve also observed that people can avoid taking action — for fear of failure, mistakes, or a “wrong” decision. When I feel frozen by fear (a state I try to avoid), I move forward by reminding myself to avoid that very human tendency for all-or-nothing thinking. Most decisions are not 100% wrong or right, after all. I’m not going to avoid making mistakes and I can usually correct for a decision that isn’t great. I don’t avoid reminding myself, over and over again, that failure is a construct and that my missteps are not the end of the world.

At the same time, I avoid voting for the wrong people because these days that could definitely be the end of the world.

I’m not avoiding sharing my latest images with you.

Coincidentally, I try to avoid assholes, kale, and bacon.

Here’s what comes up on YouTube when I search for “what we try to avoid.”

I hope you don’t avoid the comments section, below, and I never avoid expressing gratitude for all those who help me blog every day, including YOU!

Day 3407: Good answers

People often come to therapy for good answers to troubling questions about life.

This book, which was recommended by my good friend and fellow therapist Megan …

… is giving some good answers to the question of how to deal with painful feelings in ourselves and others. Here’s what I’m reading this morning:

Though all emotional healing requires it, listening to pain is difficult — and the greater the pain, the more difficult it is to listen to. The dark emotions are uncomfortable; they are also contagious. Their energies flow through and between and among us without regard for the boundaries we erect to keep ourselves separate. If we are unable to tolerate some discomfort, it’s hard to listen to dark feelings in ourselves or others. Our best, most compassionate intentions are thwarted, our connections marred by the shadow of intolerable emotions. We become inured to the incessant cacophony of the world’s suffering, limited in our authenticity and responsiveness. And we suffer from not knowing the darker side of ourselves.

Greenspan, 2004, p. 15

Often a good answer to the unrelenting grief, fear, and despair in the world is to take a break from all that. Those breaks can be moments of deep breathing or getting away for a vacation. A good answer for me, here and now, is taking two weeks off from work, starting this Saturday, and flying to Portland, Oregon to visit my college roommate Maria.

Do you see good answers in any of my other images for today?

The Daily Bitch often has good answers, don’t you think?

Here’s my good answer to my own question of what music you would like to share with others:

I look forward to people’s good answers in the comments section, below.

Gratitude is a good answer for everything, so thanks to all who visit my daily blog, including YOU.

Day 3400: I’m Mad About You

During the Brett Kavanaugh U.S. Supreme Court nomination process in 2018, I dealt with how mad I was by writing and performing my original song “I’m Mad About You.”

Last night, when I couldn’t sleep because I was mad about the leaked draft of the Supreme Court’s vote (including Kavanaugh’s) to overturn Roe v Wade, I thought, “well, it’s time for me to make a better recording of ‘I’m Mad About You’.”

Here’s my performance of “I’m Mad About You” at a remote open mic in 2020 when I was mad about the hearings to rapidly replace the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg with the Trump-nominated Amy Coney Barrett on the Supreme Court before the 2020 election.

My manager and son, Aaron, just said to me, “that’s a good song” and I’m mad about him, in a good way.

Are you mad about “I’m Mad About You” or about my images for today?

I’m mad about many things, how about you?

I’m mad about you and about all those who visit this blog, so thanks for your support!

Day 3396: Naming It

I’m naming it, here and now, that I’ve written previous blog posts named “naming it” because naming it is a helpful coping strategy.

Earlier this week, people in therapy named how naming your feelings — including grief, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger — can help you deal with those feelings. And I recently read an article, which I can’t name right now, that cited scientific proof that naming feelings can help relieve them.

Can you name any examples of naming it in my images for today?

I’m naming that (1) The Daily Bitch Calendar is a great name for my favorite calendar and (2) there are many National Hairball Awareness Days around here.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “naming it.”

At the end of each post, I name my thanks for all the people who help me blog every day, and your name is on that gratitude list!

Day 3382: Anger

Decades ago, I learned that anger was the natural human reaction to not getting one’s needs met.

Because so many people disown, stuff, and fear their own anger, I once gave people at a psychiatric day treatment program the assignment of making a badge that said “I ❤️ my anger.”

In therapy groups, I sometimes ask people who their role models are for expressing anger, and often they can’t name anybody.

Obviously, a lot of us still have work to do regarding anger.

Do you see anger in my images for today?

I wonder if there’s going to be any anger because there are (1) so many National days today or (2) no pictures of Joan in this blog.

One of those issues I can fix.

Here’s an interesting TED talk about anger:

Feel free to express anger or any other feelings in the comments section below.

Thanks to all who do their best to deal with anger, including YOU.