Day 801: How to ask for what you need. 

  1. Identify, as clearly as possible in the moment, what you need.
  2. Identify who is most likely to help you get that need met.
  3. Let go of any worries and concerns about what might happen if you ask for what you need.
  4. Ask.
  5. If you don’t get what you need, ask again.
  6. If you don’t get what you need after asking somebody again, ask somebody else.
  7. If nobody is giving you what you asked for, consider whether you are asking the best people and whether you are asking clearly.
  8. Ask again.
  9. If asking others is still not yielding satisfactory results, consider ways to meet that need on your own.
  10. Let go of any negative thoughts or shame that came up for you, in steps 1 – 9.

Lately, I’ve been asking for what I need in many areas, including:

  • Help with my taxes. 
  • Decisions about my health. 
  • Singing at a party, next week. 

Here are some photos I took yesterday to meet my needs, without asking. 


Here’s a song about needing and wanting:

If you need or want to see The Rolling Stones performing “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” on the David Frost Show, you can ask for that on YouTube.

I hope you ask for what you need, after reading this post.

I need to thank all those who helped me create this post today, especially the wonderful people at Tufts Medical Center and Beacon Hill Dental Associates, who met my very important need yesterday of getting my teeth cleaned. I also want to thank the Charles Street area of Boston MA USA, PetSmart, Staples, the Rolling Stones, David Frost, and — of course! — you, my readers, whom I need (in case you need to ask).

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , | 34 Comments

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34 thoughts on “Day 801: How to ask for what you need. 

  1. Your chompers are cleaned, no incidents, ready for one (or two) of those delicious desserts, Ann. Ingredients available, but why ask? Just enjoy. Have a great day as the bottled water continues to run pure and the dirty snow continues to just run.

  2. When you sing at the party will you take a video and post it and we can all go oooohhhh aahhhhh! Wow!

    Wish I could be there — okay, not amidst all that snow but to hear you sing! Priceless!

  3. I love the first photo of the bike in the snow.

    I’ve always wondered about the lyrics to You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Can you help me? Is it:

    If you try sometimes, you get what you need.

    Or

    If you try, sometimes you get what you need.

    • I love the way you express appreciation and ask for what you need, in one comment. My guess is that both of your interpretations of the lyrics are correct. I shall do a Google search later to see what I can find out about those lyrics.

    • My research yielded inconclusive results. Which lyrics do you prefer ?

      • Which do I like? Well, with the first one, you only have to try sometimes,and you (probably) always get what you need. So, that’s a little more certain than if you(always) try, you sometimes get what you need. But, I’m still pondering my favourite colour being cherry red, and what Mr. Jimmy said — dead (which is very hard to say, if you are actually dead, and a strange thing to say, if you are not), so I may not be the best person to interpret lyrics even on my own behalf.

      • You are the exact person I need to interpret lyrics, and that’s why I wanted to ask you. Also, if you look at the pictures here, you’ll see I ate a berry-red chocolate tart, and I’m not dead.

  4. Ann, you know what? Point 1 through 8 are exactly what I would tell a would-be fundraiser! ❤
    Diana xo

  5. I’m somewhat doomed. I tend to be a worry-wart – even with issues that aren’t mine. UGH!

  6. I love where you travels took you today Ann 🙂
    Your top 10 tips are so helpful!

  7. The #10 is the most difficult one if one has done 1 to 9 repeatedly a few times. I am not sure I can take it 🙂

    • It is difficult, I agree, but I hope we can all let go of shame and self-judgment about asking for what we need. I need that!

  8. Tell us about singing at a party next week!

    • The party is for some people at work and it’s going to include a talent show. I have to leave early to go to a comedy show with my son, but I think there might be time for me to sing, accompanied by a harpist. Stay tuned.

      • Yes! Please, please ask Aaron or somebody else to take a video for all your fans here!

        And by the way, I am glad that you ate a berry-red chocolate tart, and much, much, much more glad that you’re not dead!

      • Thank you for asking for what you need. I can’t promise you’ll get that video, but I am very, very happy you asked.

  9. I need to carry this list around. No exaggeration.

  10. I like those eight questions. I have learned much by using a few of them over the years. Sometimes people are unable to give us what we need because they were taught, that in order to give, one must receive. And, their idea of receiving is self-centered, not selfless. I walk away, never look back and I feel no regret. But I am always thankful for the learning experience.
    I hope you always get what you need, Ann. ❤️

    • I hope you always get what you need, too. Thank you for helping me learn, which is something I always want and need.

  11. I love the list and images of what you need, and I know you can sing beautifully!

  12. Pingback: Why Not Ask? | janetkwest

  13. Pingback: Day 1116: What is the theme of this post? | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  14. Pingback: 1485: Ask | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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