Day 3735: Are you okay?

Yesterday, on OK day, I figured it would be okay to ask people on Twitter a question related to that — like “what helps you feel okay?” — and I decided to go with a simple yes or no question: “Are you okay?”

While I usually think yes-or-no questions are just okay and not as good as open-ended questions, I went with “are you okay?” probably because I really would have appreciated hearing that question at difficult moments in my life. As a matter of fact, I wrote a blog post many years ago when I was not so okay, citing these “are you okay” lyrics from the song “Smooth Criminal”:

I truly wish people had asked me “Are you okay?” (repeatedly, without taking “yes” for an answer) when I was a brave little girl in the hospital not admitting how scary it was to be experiencing many heart-related surgeries.

And I like hearing “Are you okay?” as an adult, because it tells me that people care enough to ask and hear an honest answer.

Are you okay with this blog post so far and are you okay with these images I want to share with you today?

Are you okay with this video I found on YouTube by searching with “are you okay?”

Are you okay? I really want to know.

Thanks to all who ask and answer the question “are you okay?” — including YOU!

Day 3711: Guilty

When people in therapy talk about how guilty they feel, I often encourage them to throw guilt away in my “magic waste paper basket.” I don’t feel guilty about having a magic water paper basket nor about suggesting that people throw guilt away. My experience is that toxic perpetrators do not feel guilty at all while well-meaning and essentially good people do feel guilty about minor infractions and imperfections.

Here’s my magic waste paper basket …

… and don’t feel guilty about throwing away guilt in any receptacle you choose.

I am guilty of gathering all the images for today’s blog post and I don’t feel guilty about sharing any of them with you.

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My guilty pleasures include chocolate soufflé and the Daily Bitch calendar.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “guilty.”

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Thanks to all who help me feel less guilty, including YOU!

Day 3662: Favorite words

Do you see any favorite words in today’s blog post?

I’ve shared many favorite words in this blog post so far (resilient, compassion, peace, questions, flowers, laughs, power, write, story, superheroes, coping, healing, curiosity, content, clear, slow, fearless, quintessential, relax, synopsis, appreciation, save, travel, chocolate, energy, etc.). Let’s see what happens when I search for “favorite words” on YouTube.

I also find this when I search for “favorite words.”

I look forward to reading your favorite words in the comments section, below.

Finally, two of my favorite words are “thank” and “you.”

Day 2609: No Filter

Do you know people who have no filter — who say whatever comes to mind?

I thought about people with no filter when I captured this image yesterday:

As I wrote here recently, when  I facilitate therapy groups, I filter my comments through the question of “Who is it for?”

As I’ve shared many times starting here, I do my best to filter my behavior through these three things:

1. Show up.
2. Be gentle.
3. Tell the truth.

Here are my mostly unfiltered photos from yesterday:

 

 

In my groups, I have no filter when I encourage people to be selfish (i.e., practice self-care) and to be in the moment.

Here‘s “No Filter” by Fifth Harmony:

No filter needed for your comments!

No filter for the gratitude I have towards all those who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

Day 2542: Monday!

This just in: Yesterday was Monday!

I saw evidence of Monday all day long, starting with this …

….  and ending with this:

What are your associations with Monday? Let’s see what associations we find in my other Monday photos.

No matter what day it is, I have trouble deciding what to wear.

Here are the top 10 songs about Monday, even though it’s Tuesday.

 

Every day of the week, I end with thanks to you.

 

 

Day 2537: “I don’t know what to do.”

I just woke up from a nightmare where I was lost, wandering around an unfamiliar city with two cell phones that did not belong to me and somebody else’s water bottle which looked like mine, unable to remember anything I needed to get to some place safe, and I kept saying out loud, “I don’t know what to do.”

I did know what to do.  I woke up from the nightmare.

I just now got a message on this laptop that says, “Your disk is almost full.”  I don’t know what to do.

I did know what to do. I deleted some stuff.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do when desperate people tell me that they don’t know what to do.

I do know what to do.  I listen and let them know they are not alone.

I don’t know what to do when I’m

• angry,
• disappointed,
• lost,
• frustrated,
• hopeless,
• confused,
• desperate,
• depleted,
• alone,
• purposeless,
• mistaken, or
• in pain.

I do know what to do. I write a blog post every morning.

I don’t know what to do if none of my photos from another ordinary/extraordinary yesterday relate to today’s topic.

I don’t know what to do about finding the right video for this post.

I do know what to do.  I recorded this last night:

And I do know what to do about freeing up more disk space.  Now that I’ve shared that video of Oscar, Michael, me, and a musical snow globe here, I know I can delete it from my laptop.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I don’t know what to do to tell you all how much you have meant to me and how much you have helped me over my almost seven full years of daily blogging. Wait, I do know what to do.

Day 2490: More self-care bingo

Today is the wedding anniversary of my late, great parents, so I definitely need more self-care bingo.

Luckily, in a Coping and Healing group yesterday we added more squares to our self-care bingo cards.

My new squares are

1. created something new,
2. laughed with somebody,
3. expressed my feelings,
4. took a walk,
5. ate something delicious,
6. spent time with an animal,
7. danced,
8. listened to music I love,
9. improved the moment,
10. observed just noticed,
11. acknowledged progress,
12. looked at something beautiful,
13. gave somebody a hug,
14. accessed a good memory,
15. was playful,
16. returned an email,
17. made a helpful call,
18. set a limit,
19. smiled at a stranger, and
20. expressed gratitude.

Bingo!

Here’s #14 (accessed a good memory):

Adding more photos to today’s post qualifies as #1 (created something new).  Are any of these photos examples of self-care bingo?

Part of my self care has been watching this video of the Washington Nationals (up 2-1 in the World Series) spreading “Baby Shark” fever.

Here’s #20 (expressed gratitude):

 

Day 2465: What are you feeling?

What are you feeling, dear reader?

Are you feeling curious?

Are you feeling shy?

Are you feeling content?

Confused?  Sad?

 

Bitchy?

Conceited?  Forgetful?  Nice?  Sarcastic?

Exclusive?  Appreciated?

Valued?  Colorful?

Different?

Real?

Rewarding?  Rewarded?  Hungry?

 

Above it all?

Determined?

 

All of the above?  None of the above?  Some of the above?

Are you feeling any feelings not included here?

What are you feeling about your feelings?

What are you feeling about this song?

Are you feeling ready to express your feelings in a comment below?

What am I feeling, here and now?  I’m feeling many different feelings, including gratitude to YOU.

Now I feel like saying, “Bye and see you tomorrow!”

Day 2458: Sometimes life sucks

Sometimes life sucks, like when you lose an old friend to a terrible brain cancer that has killed another friend of yours.

Sometimes you see a card that perfectly captures your experience.

Sometimes you listen to the same damn song over and over again to comfort yourself, like when you’re driving to say goodbye to an old friend.

 

Hajanga

by Jacob Collier

Everybody, near and far
Come together as you are
To the ocean, to the sky
Sing that cosmic lullaby
Sing the hajanga

Sing your pleasure sing your pain
Like you’ll never sing again
Let it echo, loud and clear
Across the ancient stratosphere
Even when the sun refuse to shine
There’s a song of love that never dies

Even when the good days pass you by
Lift your voices to the sky singin’
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

As the words go round and round
Let the tears roll down and down
Sing the way you wish to be
Let that singing set you free

Even when those dark clouds bring you down
There’s a spark of joy that can be found
Even when things break and fall apart
Lift your hands up from your heart, singing
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

Said every morning
Every night
Through the darkness
To the light
Like a beacon
Shining bright
Sing the hajanga you’ll be alright

From the winter
Comes the spring
It don’t matter
What life will bring
You can do most anything
So give your hajanga
A song to sing

So tell your mama
Tell your pa
Sing it near and sing it far
Be exactly the way you are
See the hajanga
It’s your guiding star

To every woman
To every man
In every nation
In every land
I said please you’ve gotta understand
Now sing the hajanga
And take my hand, sing it!

Then one day your life is through
Nothing more that you can do
So give away the things you know
And tell your friends you love them so
Tell them hajanga

I let the tears roll down and down, yesterday, as I told Tony‘s friends and family that I loved him so.

Sometimes life sucks and we CAN do a damn thing about it, like telling people we love them so.

Here are all my other damn photos from yesterday:

 

Sometimes life sucks and we can feel and express gratitude for what we still have, like this blog and YOU.

 

Day 2445: What makes you feel better

Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, we made a list of “What makes you feel better.”

What’s on your personal list of “What makes you feel better”?

What makes me feel better includes creating these blog posts and taking photos:

Also, Michael’s meals, voting, helpful rules, and flamingos make me feel better.

Here‘s KIRA with “If It Makes You Feel Better.”

If it makes you feel better, please leave a comment.

As always, it makes me feel better to express my gratitude to all who help me create better posts, including YOU.