Day 2573: “I don’t know what to do.”

I just woke up from a nightmare where I was lost, wandering around an unfamiliar city with two cell phones that did not belong to me and somebody else’s water bottle which looked like mine, unable to remember anything I needed to get to some place safe, and I kept saying out loud, “I don’t know what to do.”

I did know what to do.  I woke up from the nightmare.

I just now got a message on this laptop that says, “Your disk is almost full.”  I don’t know what to do.

I did know what to do. I deleted some stuff.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do when desperate people tell me that they don’t know what to do.

I do know what to do.  I listen and let them know they are not alone.

I don’t know what to do when I’m

• angry,
• disappointed,
• lost,
• frustrated,
• hopeless,
• confused,
• desperate,
• depleted,
• alone,
• purposeless,
• mistaken, or
• in pain.

I do know what to do. I write a blog post every morning.

I don’t know what to do if none of my photos from another ordinary/extraordinary yesterday relate to today’s topic.

I don’t know what to do about finding the right video for this post.

I do know what to do.  I recorded this last night:

And I do know what to do about freeing up more disk space.  Now that I’ve shared that video of Oscar, Michael, me, and a musical snow globe here, I know I can delete it from my laptop.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I don’t know what to do to tell you all how much you have meant to me and how much you have helped me over my almost seven full years of daily blogging. Wait, I do know what to do.

Day 2526: More self-care bingo

Today is the wedding anniversary of my late, great parents, so I definitely need more self-care bingo.

Luckily, in a Coping and Healing group yesterday we added more squares to our self-care bingo cards.

My new squares are

1. created something new,
2. laughed with somebody,
3. expressed my feelings,
4. took a walk,
5. ate something delicious,
6. spent time with an animal,
7. danced,
8. listened to music I love,
9. improved the moment,
10. observed just noticed,
11. acknowledged progress,
12. looked at something beautiful,
13. gave somebody a hug,
14. accessed a good memory,
15. was playful,
16. returned an email,
17. made a helpful call,
18. set a limit,
19. smiled at a stranger, and
20. expressed gratitude.

Bingo!

Here’s #14 (accessed a good memory):

Adding more photos to today’s post qualifies as #1 (created something new).  Are any of these photos examples of self-care bingo?

Part of my self care has been watching this video of the Washington Nationals (up 2-1 in the World Series) spreading “Baby Shark” fever.

Here’s #20 (expressed gratitude):

 

Day 2501: What are you feeling?

What are you feeling, dear reader?

Are you feeling curious?

Are you feeling shy?

Are you feeling content?

Confused?  Sad?

 

Bitchy?

Conceited?  Forgetful?  Nice?  Sarcastic?

Exclusive?  Appreciated?

Valued?  Colorful?

Different?

Real?

Rewarding?  Rewarded?  Hungry?

 

Above it all?

Determined?

 

All of the above?  None of the above?  Some of the above?

Are you feeling any feelings not included here?

What are you feeling about your feelings?

What are you feeling about this song?

Are you feeling ready to express your feelings in a comment below?

What am I feeling, here and now?  I’m feeling many different feelings, including gratitude to YOU.

Now I feel like saying, “Bye and see you tomorrow!”

Day 2494: Sometimes life sucks

Sometimes life sucks, like when you lose an old friend to a terrible brain cancer that has killed another friend of yours.

Sometimes you see a card that perfectly captures your experience.

Sometimes you listen to the same damn song over and over again to comfort yourself, like when you’re driving to say goodbye to an old friend.

 

Hajanga

by Jacob Collier

Everybody, near and far
Come together as you are
To the ocean, to the sky
Sing that cosmic lullaby
Sing the hajanga

Sing your pleasure sing your pain
Like you’ll never sing again
Let it echo, loud and clear
Across the ancient stratosphere
Even when the sun refuse to shine
There’s a song of love that never dies

Even when the good days pass you by
Lift your voices to the sky singin’
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

As the words go round and round
Let the tears roll down and down
Sing the way you wish to be
Let that singing set you free

Even when those dark clouds bring you down
There’s a spark of joy that can be found
Even when things break and fall apart
Lift your hands up from your heart, singing
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

Said every morning
Every night
Through the darkness
To the light
Like a beacon
Shining bright
Sing the hajanga you’ll be alright

From the winter
Comes the spring
It don’t matter
What life will bring
You can do most anything
So give your hajanga
A song to sing

So tell your mama
Tell your pa
Sing it near and sing it far
Be exactly the way you are
See the hajanga
It’s your guiding star

To every woman
To every man
In every nation
In every land
I said please you’ve gotta understand
Now sing the hajanga
And take my hand, sing it!

Then one day your life is through
Nothing more that you can do
So give away the things you know
And tell your friends you love them so
Tell them hajanga

I let the tears roll down and down, yesterday, as I told Tony‘s friends and family that I loved him so.

Sometimes life sucks and we CAN do a damn thing about it, like telling people we love them so.

Here are all my other damn photos from yesterday:

 

Sometimes life sucks and we can feel and express gratitude for what we still have, like this blog and YOU.

 

Day 2481: What makes you feel better

Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, we made a list of “What makes you feel better.”

What’s on your personal list of “What makes you feel better”?

What makes me feel better includes creating these blog posts and taking photos:

Also, Michael’s meals, voting, helpful rules, and flamingos make me feel better.

Here‘s KIRA with “If It Makes You Feel Better.”

If it makes you feel better, please leave a comment.

As always, it makes me feel better to express my gratitude to all who help me create better posts, including YOU.

 

Day 2445: Hard to describe

It’s hard to describe

• what’s going on in the world,
• what’s going on inside,
• values,
• moods,
• feelings,
• body experiences,
• what you’re thinking,
• what other people are thinking,
• what’s important,
• love,
• hope,
• grief,
• conflict,
• connection,
• anxiety,
• depression,
• stress,
• problems,
• solutions,
• the past,
• the future,
• the present, and
• many other things.

And yet, I try to describe what’s hard to describe here, every day, with words and pictures.

It’s hard to describe how much it helps me to

• blog,
• eat healthy meals prepared with love, and
• look for what’s beautiful in the world.

Here‘s “How Hard to Describe What I Am” by 13th-century Persian poet Rumi:

What’s hard to describe, for you?  I hope you describe it in a comment, below.

The depths of my gratitude for all who help me create these posts and all who read them (including you) may be hard to describe, but here goes:

Day 2433: A Day in the Life

A Day in the Life …

• could be the title of this blog, instead of The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally,
• can be described with words and pictures,  and
• came to mind yesterday because of this:

That billboard commemorates a day in the life when Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (the movie) opes in America.  On this day in the life, I’m learning the film version has a 12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

I’m thinking other things must have happened on the day of July 24 to celebrate, like:

1965  Rock group “The Animals” 1st time in British charts

1967  The Beatles sign a petition in Times to legalize marijuana

1974  Supreme Court unanimously rules Nixon must turn over Watergate tapes

1979 Red Sox Carl Yastrzemski hits his 400th HR

1986 13th Commonwealth Games open in Edinburgh, Scotland

Yesterday, my day in the life included work that I love, meeting up with my old friend Isaac, an incredible Mexican lasagna made by Michael, and many facial expressions.

 

 

 

 

I wonder what I’ll find for “A Day in the Life” on YouTube.

What are your thoughts and feelings on this day in your life?

As always, I’m grateful for every day in this life, so thanks to all who help me create this daily post, including YOU!

Day 2426: Say YES to …

Yesterday morning, after saying YES to sharing another daily blog post, I looked at a previously published post, also titled “Messes,’ and found this:

I will tell you that I messily shared at the end of the group session my inspiration to make a new t-shirt that says, “Say YES to the mess.”

Over two years later, I am belatedly saying YES to that intention by designing and ordering this t-shirt:

I said YES to that typestyle of “Say YES to the Mess” because it’s called “Unkempt.” YES!

Here on this blog, and also in my therapy groups, we often discuss how and when to say NO, but it’s equally important to know how and when to say YES.

Say YES to …

… listening to music you love.

Say YES to …

… being mindful and non-judgmental of your moods.

Say YES to …

… observing what’s around you.

Say YES to …

… long life by practicing good habits.

Say YES to …

… the most valuable people in your life.

Say YES to …

… creating your dreams, even if it’s just one.

Say YES to …

… welcoming all.

Say YES to …

… whimsey.

Say YES to …

… the dress (I THINK that’s what that is).

Say YES to …

… beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

Say YES to …

… staying in touch.

Say YES to …

… curiosity, partnership, empathy, apology (when appropriate), reflection, legitimization, support, and wellness.

Say YES to …

… sharing what’s important to you with other people.

Say YES to …

 

… feelings.

Say YES to …

… flowers.

Say YES to …

… safety.

Say YES to …

… love.

Say YES to …

… healthy hearts, fewer worries, and good sleep!

Say YES to …

… group support.

Say YES to …

… taking the stairs.

Say YES to …

… Yoko, a valued member of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy executive board, who says YES to fresh fruit in her drinks and who also says YES to sitting with Oscar.

What do YOU say YES to?

Here‘s “Ascent” by Lyle Mays (featured, yes, in this post).

I always say YES to gratitude at the end of these posts, so thanks to all who helped me create this one and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Day 2398: Get in touch

Yesterday, when I was getting in touch with many feelings about saying goodbye to four members of the Northeastern Society of Group Psychotherapy board of directors (who had completed their three years of service), I noticed this on my phone:

It’s true that, in my work as a group therapist, I focus on making it easier for people to get in touch (with themselves and with others).  However, I doubt that adding a phone number to Oscar the cat’s Facebook page will make it easy for people to get in touch. Oscar doesn’t answer the phone, although by touching my iPhone yesterday he somehow managed to delete four important apps:  Waze, Wallet, Google, and Notes! Thank goodness it was easy to get in in touch with Apple support and recover those apps.

Soon after getting in touch with Apple support,  I supported people in a Coping and Healing group getting in touch with thoughts and feelings about positive feedback. Here’s what I touched on yesterday as I filled out my own Positive Feedback worksheet.

Are you in touch with

• how you tend to respond to compliments and other types of positive feedback?
• positive and appreciative things people have said about you?
• positive things you have recognized in yourself?

It’s time to get in touch with my other photos from yesterday.

 

 

To help us get in touch with what we wanted to say at the Board Meeting last night,  I transformed that F-bomb into a “Farewell” bomb that people could touch as they were speaking.

Get in touch with “Get in Touch” by FireHouse:

 

You can get in touch with me in the comments sections, below.

Every day, it’s easy for me to get in touch with my gratitude for all, including YOU!

Day 2390: What love looks like in public

When you read today’s title — “What love looks like in public” — what springs to your mind?

What loves looks like in public could be

• PDA’s (Public Displays of Affection),
• heart-warming kindness,
• people wearing their hearts on their sleeves,
• natural beauty,
• a public library,
• any welcoming, safe, accessible, and open space,
• a house of worship,
• this blog, or

• JUSTICE.

Here and now, I  publicly and lovingly wish there was more justice in the world.

Do you see any love in public in today’s other public photos?

I have public love for my son, Aaron, pictured there in public.

Here’s Carlton Jumel Smith with “This is What Love Looks Like.”

I’m publicly looking forward, with love, to your comments, below.

Public thanks and love to all who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — to YOU.