As a psychotherapist, I love listening to other people’s stories.
What I DON’T love is other people who act like only their story is:
real,
legitimate, and
worth listening to.
These days, more than ever, it’s important to make room for the stories that are not being heard. Why aren’t they being heard? Because people with power/the spotlight are
loud,
disrespectful of others,
disinterested in the facts,
obsessed with their own grievances,
trying to hold on to power, and
apparently not interested in other people’s stories.
If you do not leave room for other people’s stories, the dominant story becomes strident, repressive, demoralizing, inaccurate, and eventually obsolete. Personally, I am fighting for other people’s stories (including my own!) to be heard, so we can all survive together.
Here is one person’s photographic story for the day:
In my story, there is always room for the the Daily Bitch, love, AND your stories (in the comments section below).
This feels relevant for me: our beloved kitty Oscar is approaching the end of his life. The reason Megan’s family has a cat today is because Oscar visited with her and her husband Paul many years ago and, with his relevant charming and chill nature, convinced skeptical Paul that cats could be incredibly wonderful.
As I’m writing this-feels-relevant-for-me blog post, Oscar is crying over his water bowl and I’m crying with anticipatory grief.
It’s jaw dropping to me that I forgot about the invitation (which I included in yesterday’s post) to stream Stephen Sondheim’s 90th birthday celebration last night, with its jaw-dropping lineup of stars:
I have found many things jaw-dropping lately, including
American leadership’s responses to the pandemic crisis,
racism, sexism, ageism, and homophobia,
how difficult it is for people to get what they need,
how little there is to celebrate these days, and
people’s ability to celebrate, anyway.
Do you see anything jaw-dropping in my photos from yesterday?
It’s jaw dropping
that there was no spinach, parsley, or flour at the supermarket yesterday,
the delicious meal Michael made anyway,
how hard nurses work for us every day of the year,
the level of suffering out there, and
how lucky I am, here and now.
Here‘s the jaw-dropping celebration of Stephen Sondheim from last night:
I look forward to your jaw-dropping comments with (of course!) jaw-dropping gratitude.
It’s important for me to remember that my friend Jeanette noticed that Liane looks like the dancer emoji💃 in that old photo.
It’s important for me to remember that Liane danced in one of my favorite musical numbers ever, “America,” even though I was too young to see her in it. Here’s “America” from the film version of West Side Story.
It’s important to remember that people will be dancing together again, eventually, in New York and elsewhere.
What do you think is important to remember, here and now?
I hope you remember that I’m grateful to YOU, every day.
How bad could it be that I’m self quarantining, knowing I’m doing the best for myself and for all those I care about?
How bad could it be for me to share these photos with my good readers?
How bad could it be if
Michael cooks delicious pasta and
Oscar and Harley look up and share our happiness?
How bad could it be if Stephen Sondheim is turning 90 years old this month? Here he is playing “Move On” at the memorial service for Michael Bennett, who died during the AIDS pandemic:
How bad could it be where you are, here and now?
How good could it be to express gratitude to all those I appreciate, including YOU?
And yet, this is my first blog post with the word “act” in the title. Time to act!
What does “act” mean to you? To Merriam-Webster, it means:
act noun
\ ˈakt \
Definition of act
1a : the doing of a thing : DEED
an act of courage
b law : something done voluntarily
2 : the process of doing something : ACTION
caught in the act
3 : the formal product of a legislative body : STATUTE
an act of Congress
also : a decision or determination of a sovereign, a legislative council, or a court of justice
4 : one of the principal divisions of a theatrical work (such as a play or opera)
a play in three acts
5a : one of successive parts or performances (as in a variety show or circus)
a magic act
b : the performer or performers in such an act
a two-person comedy act
c : a performance or presentation identified with a particular individual or group
They took their act on the road.
d : the sum of a person’s actions or effects that serve to create an impression or set an example
a hard act to follow
6 : a display of affected behavior : PRETENSE
put on an act that deceived nobody
His friendly concern was just an act.
7 often capitalized : a formal record of something done or transacted
8 : a state of real existence rather than possibility
into the act or in on the act
: into an undertaking or situation as an active participant
saw the success they were having and wanted to get in on the act
act verb
acted; acting; acts
intransitive verb
1 : to take action : MOVE
think before acting
acted favorably on the recommendation
2 : to conduct oneself : BEHAVE
act like a fool
3a : to perform on the stage
began acting at the age of eight
b : to behave as if performing on the stage : PRETEND
seemed angry but was just acting
4 : to perform a specified function : SERVE
trees acting as a windbreak
5 : to produce an effect : WORK
wait for a medicine to act
6 : to give a decision or award
adjourned without acting on the bill
7 of a play : to be capable of being performed
a play that acts well
transitive verb
1a : to represent or perform by action especially on the stage
will act the part of Romeo in tonight’s play
b : FEIGN, SIMULATE
act indifference
c : IMPERSONATE
2 : to play the part of as if in a play
act the man of the world
3 : to behave in a manner suitable to
Act your age.
4 obsolete : ACTUATE, ANIMATE
ACT abbreviation
Definition of ACT
1 Action for Children’s Television
2 Association of Classroom Teachers
3 Australian Capital Territory
To therapists, ACT (abbreviation) also means Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I shall now act to quote the Wikipedia description about ACT:
The objective of ACT is not elimination of difficult feelings; rather, it is to be present with what life brings us and to “move toward valued behavior”.[6] Acceptance and commitment therapy invites people to open up to unpleasant feelings, and learn not to overreact to them, and not avoid situations where they are invoked. Its therapeutic effect is a positive spiral where feeling better leads to a better understanding of the truth.[7] In ACT, ‘truth’ is measured through the concept of ‘workability’, or what works to take another step toward what matters (e.g. values, meaning).
ACT (abbreviation) also means this:
When I was caught in the act taking that photo yesterday, I acted to smile and give a thumbs up to the ACT workers near that truck.
Here are other ways I acted yesterday:
I have to act fast to finish this post with a Stephen Sondheim song (which features actors avoiding action by focusing on fault).
It’s never just an act when I express gratitude to all who help me act to create this daily blog and — of course! — thanks to YOU.
Five hundred and seventy-eight little days ago (but who’s counting these little things?), little ol’ me wrote a little blog post, Day 1790: Thankful for the little things.Yesterday, I was a little perturbed by many little things when I was writing yesterday’s little post, so I sent Michael this little email:
Hello my darling,
I would say we have an infestation of ants . This is based on many of them crawling on me this morning while I was blogging, which is a new experience for me here at Squanticello. Let us research kind ways to invite them to leave.
Much love,
Ann
When I got home from work, Michael was more than a little freaked out at the not-so-little size of the invaders, which turned out to be carpenter ants. He said, “Usually I don’t think of insects as animals, but these enormous winged things are definitely animals.” Michael spent many little moments yesterday identifying the big ants’ little points of entry and applying spray that is kind to little things like children and pets.
I didn’t take any pictures of those little things, but I invite you to spot the little things in today’s little photos.
I don’t see any little or large ants as I’m creating this little post, so I’d say that Michael’s efforts paid off, in a big way.
Here‘s “The Little Things You Do Together” from a little musical called Company:
Here are the great lyrics to “The Little Things You Do Together” by that musical giant, Stephen Sondheim:
It’s the little things you do together
Do together
Do together
That make perfect relationships.
The hobbies you pursue together
Savings you accrue together
Looks you misconstrue together
That make marriage a joy.
It’s the little things you share together
Swear together
Wear together
That make perfect relationships.
The concerts you enjoy together
Neighbors you annoy together
Children you destroy together
That keep marriage intact.
It’s not so hard to be married
When two maneuver as one
It’s not so hard to be married
And Jesus Christ, is it fun.
It’s sharing little winks together
Drinks together
Kinks together
That make marriage a joy.
The bargains that you shop together
Cigarettes you stop together
Clothing that you swap together
That make perfect relationships.
It’s not talk of God and the decade ahead that
Allows you to get through the worst.
It’s “I do,” and, “You don’t,” and, “Nobody said that,”
And, “Who brought the subject up first?”
It’s the little things…
The little things, the little things, the little things
The little ways you try together
Cry together
Lie together
That make perfect relationships.
Becoming a cliche together
Growing old and gray together
Withering away together
That make marriage a joy.
It’s not so hard to be married,
It’s much the simplest of crimes.
It’s not so hard to be married,
I’ve done it three or four times.
It’s people that you hate together
Bait together
Date together
That make marriage a joy.
It’s things like using force together
Shouting till you’re hoarse together
Getting a divorce together
That make perfect relationships.
Uh uh
Kiss kiss
Mmmm mmmmm.
I’m greatly looking forward to all your little comments, below.
Gratitude for the little things helps me deal with all the little and big things every day, so big thanks to those who help me create this little blog and — of course! — to YOU.
Soon after publishing this post, I made up some new little lyrics for that song, more relevant for tall Michael and little me:
It’s battling ants together
Making sure you dance together
Keeping the romance together
That make perfect relationships.
