Day 3734: No one is alone

Whenever I do my groups, read your comments, or connect with other people, I know that no one is alone.

Last night, I was alone when I went to the latest production of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods in Boston, which includes the song “No One Is Alone.”

Even those of us who had come to the theatre alone last night knew that no one is alone when we heard Stephen Sondheim’s beautifully unifying music and lyrics. We also knew that no one is alone as we cheered and applauded together as one, after every single song throughout the performance.

I assume that I wasn’t alone last night when I cried, again, during “No One is Alone” — performed here by the original cast of Into the Woods (which I was not alone in completely adoring):

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Do you see evidence that no one is alone in my images for today?

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No one is alone if they love kittens or puppies, have near misses, realize they’re OK, or talk about the weather on World Meteorological Day.

No one is alone struggling to deal with the aftermath of the pandemic. Today, I’ll know that no one is alone when, for the first time in over three years, I attend a social workers meeting in-person at the hospital where I work.

Thanks to all those who help us realize that no one is alone, including YOU!

Day 2874: I know things ordinary people don’t know

I know things ordinary people don’t know because I

• was born with a very unusual heart,
• grew up in an Orthodox Jewish household,
• had an incredibly funny, creative, and kind father, who loved to make people laugh,
• had an incredibly caring, kind, clean and neat mother, who loved to laugh,
• realized I had a connection with cats when I was very young,
• had my first major heart surgery when I was 10 on the day that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated,
• have relied on cardiac pacemakers to keep me alive since that day,
• spent a lot of time in hospitals where I met many different types of people,
• danced in our basement to musicals when nobody was watching,
• read voraciously when I was young,
• learned to play the piano, guitar, and ukulele,
• attended three schools where everyone there knew I had a heart condition,
• travelled across the USA by bus when I was 21,
• visited many different countries,
• danced, danced, danced in the 1970s even though my heart rate was fixed at 72 beats per minute,
• majored in English literature at college,
• worked as a technical writer, marketing writer, teacher, manager, and psychotherapist,
• volunteered for several years at a suicide hotline,
• attended graduate schools for film studies and social work,
• love hearing other people’s stories,
• married two extraordinary men,
• gave birth to an extraordinary son when I was 45 years old,
• saw people behave at their best and their worst and everything in between (including me),
• survived the coronavirus,
• have kept learning from all the people I have encountered in my long life, and
• have the Daily Bitch calendar, which knows a lot.

Can you tell that I know things ordinary people don’t know from the rest of today’s photos?

Harley knows things that ordinary cats don’t know, but he’s not telling.

It’s a good thing I know things that ordinary people don’t know, because I’ll be teaching several interns about my Coping and Healing groups this morning at 9.

Here is “I Know Things Now” from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim, whom I’ve known I’ve loved for a long, long time.

I also know gratitude that ordinary people don’t know, every day, so thanks to to all the extraordinary people I’ve known, including YOU!

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Day 2830: Debatable

It’s debatable whether you can debate someone who

• doesn’t follow previously agreed upon rules,
• interrupts incessantly,
• has no scruples,
• lies constantly,
• attacks,
• is a malignant narcissist,
• enjoys hurting people, and
• will do anything to win.

It’s debatable whether I and the USA could possible survive another four years of the guy who “debated” Joe Biden last night.

It’s debatable whether there’s anything debatable about the images I captured yesterday.

Michael’s meals are never debatable.

It’s debatable

• how many animals are in those photos and
• whether anybody will find the octopus.

If you vote for the person who debated Joe Biden last night, it’s debatable whether you’ve been paying attention to what he’s actually been saying and doing to this country.

It’s debatable how you might fill in the blank:

Jill or the beanstalk?

It’s debatable whether it’s a smooth segue from that to Jack from Sondheim’s Into the Woods singing this …

… to Sondheim’s There Won’t Be Trumpets:

In case those lyrics are debatable, here they are:

Those smug little men with their smug little schemes
They forgot one thing:
The play isn’t over by a long shot yet!
There are heroes in the world,
Princes and heroes in the world,
And one of them will save us.
Wait and see!
Wait and see!

There won’t be trumpets or bolts of fire
To say he’s coming.
No Roman candles, no angels’ choir,
No sound of distant drumming.
He may not be the cavalier,
Tall and graceful, fair and strong.
Doesn’t matter, just as long as he comes along!

But not with trumpets or lightning flashing
Or shining armor.
He may be daring, he may be dashing,
Or maybe he’s a farmer.
We can wait, what’s another day?
He has lots of hills to climb.
And a hero
Doesn’t come till the nick of time!

Don’t look for trumpets or whistles tooting
To guarantee him!
There won’t be trumpets, but sure as shooting
You’ll know him when you see him!
Don’t know when, don’t know where,
And I can’t even say that I care!
All I know is, the minute you turn
And he’s suddenly there,
There won’t be trumpets!
There are no trumpets!
Who needs trumpets?

It’s debatable whether I’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep until enough of those smug little men with their smug little schemes are defeated. There won’t be trumpets but there’ll be celebrating in many houses, including this one, when that finally happens.

If you want to debate anything in this debatable post, please leave a comment below.

My gratitude is not debatable, so thanks to everyone, including YOU.

Day 2816: Other people’s stories

As a psychotherapist, I love listening to other people’s stories.

What I DON’T love is other people who act like only their story is:

• real,
• legitimate, and
• worth listening to.

These days, more than ever, it’s important to make room for the stories that are not being heard. Why aren’t they being heard? Because people with power/the spotlight are

• loud,
• disrespectful of others,
• disinterested in the facts,
• obsessed with their own grievances,
• trying to hold on to power, and
• apparently not interested in other people’s stories.

If you do not leave room for other people’s stories, the dominant story becomes strident, repressive, demoralizing, inaccurate, and eventually obsolete. Personally, I am fighting for other people’s stories (including my own!) to be heard, so we can all survive together.

Here is one person’s photographic story for the day:

In my story, there is always room for the the Daily Bitch, love, AND your stories (in the comments section below).

Yesterday, when I was creating today’s photographic story, I heard the Prologue to Stephen Sondheim‘s Into the Woods, which includes lots of other people’s stories.

My stories always include gratitude for all who help me create these daily stories, including YOU.

Day 2368: ACT

I act, every day, to

• publish a blog here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally  and
• encourage people to act in beneficial ways.

And yet, this is my first blog post with the word “act” in the title.  Time to act!

What does “act” mean to you? To Merriam-Webster, it means:

act noun
\ ˈakt \
Definition of act
1a : the doing of a thing : DEED
an act of courage
b law : something done voluntarily
2 : the process of doing something : ACTION
caught in the act
3 : the formal product of a legislative body : STATUTE
an act of Congress
also : a decision or determination of a sovereign, a legislative council, or a court of justice
4 : one of the principal divisions of a theatrical work (such as a play or opera)
a play in three acts
5a : one of successive parts or performances (as in a variety show or circus)
a magic act
b : the performer or performers in such an act
a two-person comedy act
c : a performance or presentation identified with a particular individual or group
They took their act on the road.
d : the sum of a person’s actions or effects that serve to create an impression or set an example
a hard act to follow
6 : a display of affected behavior : PRETENSE
put on an act that deceived nobody
His friendly concern was just an act.
7 often capitalized : a formal record of something done or transacted
8 : a state of real existence rather than possibility
into the act or in on the act
: into an undertaking or situation as an active participant
saw the success they were having and wanted to get in on the act
act verb
acted; acting; acts
intransitive verb

1 : to take action : MOVE
think before acting
acted favorably on the recommendation
2 : to conduct oneself : BEHAVE
act like a fool
3a : to perform on the stage
began acting at the age of eight
b : to behave as if performing on the stage : PRETEND
seemed angry but was just acting
4 : to perform a specified function : SERVE
trees acting as a windbreak
5 : to produce an effect : WORK
wait for a medicine to act
6 : to give a decision or award
adjourned without acting on the bill
7 of a play : to be capable of being performed
a play that acts well
transitive verb

1a : to represent or perform by action especially on the stage
will act the part of Romeo in tonight’s play
b : FEIGN, SIMULATE
act indifference
c : IMPERSONATE
2 : to play the part of as if in a play
act the man of the world
3 : to behave in a manner suitable to
Act your age.
4 obsolete : ACTUATE, ANIMATE
ACT abbreviation
Definition of ACT
1 Action for Children’s Television
2 Association of Classroom Teachers
3 Australian Capital Territory

To therapists, ACT (abbreviation)  also means Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I shall now act to quote the Wikipedia description about ACT:

The objective of ACT is not elimination of difficult feelings; rather, it is to be present with what life brings us and to “move toward valued behavior”.[6] Acceptance and commitment therapy invites people to open up to unpleasant feelings, and learn not to overreact to them, and not avoid situations where they are invoked. Its therapeutic effect is a positive spiral where feeling better leads to a better understanding of the truth.[7] In ACT, ‘truth’ is measured through the concept of ‘workability’, or what works to take another step toward what matters (e.g. values, meaning).

ACT (abbreviation) also means this:

When I was caught in the act taking that photo yesterday, I acted to smile and give a thumbs up to the ACT workers near that truck.

Here are other ways I acted yesterday:

I have to act fast to finish this post with a  Stephen Sondheim song  (which features actors avoiding action by focusing on fault).

 

It’s never just an act when I express gratitude to all who help me act to create this daily blog and — of course! — thanks to YOU.

 

Day 2319: Blame

Who’s to blame for never writing a post titled “Blame” before, even though it’s one of the thirteen cognitive distortions discussed here?

I’m to blame for that and for repeating that description here:

We blame ourselves for every problem, or hold other people entirely responsible for a negative situation or feeling. When we focus on assigning blame and figuring out who is “at fault”, we are usually ignoring the complexity of a situation. Also, blaming can result in staying stuck in negative feelings, rather than moving towards action and solutions.

Does it help to blame?  What about this major news story?

1 million species are at risk of extinction.  Humans are to blame.

I’m very upset about that news story.  Can you blame me?

However, I don’t want to stay stuck in negative feelings. I’d rather move towards actions and solutions. But what actions and solutions are there?

I try not to blame myself for becoming overwhelmed, sometimes, by the immensity of problems.

I do think there is a difference between blaming and taking responsibility. Blaming keeps us stuck in the past and pointing fingers at each other.  Taking responsibility is more adult, focusing less on shame and more on the next achievable steps.

I take responsibility for all these photos and please don’t blame me if they don’t relate to today’s topic (because I took them all before I knew what I was going to write about this morning).

 

Here‘s the witch from Stephen Sondheim’s  Into the Woods singing about the futility of blame:

I take responsibility for expressing my sincere gratitude at the end of every post.  Thanks to all for helping me create this blog and for reading it, here and now!

 

Day 1998: Good

It’s good that I noticed that my first two photos from yesterday have good in them.

Do you see the good there, my good people?  Do you see the good in other people? Do you see more good than bad?

I guess I see more good than bad:   I’ve written 41 posts here with the word “Good” in the title (starting with Day 3: The Fear of Feeling Too Good) and I’ve written 14 posts with the word “Bad” in the title (starting with Day 263: Bad Day/Good Day, which has good in it, too).

Do you see the good in the other photos here?

A good friend texted me that good drawing, above, with this good caption: “Got your back.”

Last night, at a good board meeting, I sang a small portion of this very good song from Into the Woods,  in memory of our very good friend, Michelle.

The good lyrics I sang were these:

Sometimes people leave you

Halfway through the wood.

Do not let it grieve you

No one leaves for good.

You are not alone.  No one is alone.

It’s always good to end with thanks.  Thanks to all who help me create all my good posts, including this one, and to you — of course! — for being good enough to be here, now.

 

Day 1903: Who does that?

Who tweets on a Saturday when there are so many other things to do?

Who fires somebody right before his retirement and calls it “A great day for Democracy”? I wish I didn’t know.

Who tweeted yesterday,  worked on her taxes, AND went to a wonderful performance of Into the Woods at Brandeis University?

Who believes the United States will survive its current administration?  Who believes that pain and strife can result in growth and learning?

Who takes photos like these?

Who believes in unicorns? Who believes that time heals all wounds and wounds all heels?

Who does “Who Are You?”

Who does her best to thank those who help her create these blog posts (including the Who) and all who read them, including YOU?  Who?

 

 

Day 1718: Spend time with people you love

Yesterday, I found out that two people I love will be leaving earlier than I wish. I’m resolving to spend as much time as possible with them whenever we can.

I often think of this line from Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods:

Sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood

because that’s inevitable, isn’t it?  Here are other  lines from that song:

Hard to see the light now

Just don’t let it go.

Things will come out right now

We can make it so.

Here‘s that song performed by Bernadette Peters, whom I love:

 

Let’s spend time with the photos I took yesterday.

 

 

Krystle Campbell left us too soon. Again, I resolve to spend time with people I love.

As always, I appreciate spending time with people I love on WordPress. Thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for visiting, here and now.

 

Day 1546: How to decide

How to decide how to start this post?

HOW TO DECIDE

• Explore all your options.
• Look at the pros and cons of all your different options.
• Listen to others who have relevant wisdom.
• Trust your gut.
• Be logical.
• Follow your heart.
• Look for signs from the universe.
• Pay attention to your dreams.
• Flip a coin and see whether you want to flip it again.
• Check your comfort level at each stage of the process.
• Realize that even a “wrong” decision is not the end of the world.

How do you decide?

How to decide which photos from yesterday I should include here?

 

 

How to decide whether to give peas and/or peace a chance?

How to decide which music to share?

Here‘s a song about how to decide from Into the Woods:

How to decide how to thank all who helped me create todays’ post and — of course! — YOU?