Day 2275: Petty

When I’m petty, I feel guilty.  When I observe other people being petty, I get scared, because I’ve observed pettiness wreaking havoc with relationships.

Here’s a definition of petty:

pet·ty
/ˈpedē/
adjective
1. of little importance; trivial.
“the petty divisions of party politics”
synonyms: trivial, trifling, minor, small, slight, unimportant, insignificant, inessential, inconsequential, inconsiderable, negligible, paltry, footling, fiddling, niggling, pettifogging, nugatory, of little account
2. of secondary or lesser importance, rank, or scale; minor.
“a petty official”

My personal goal for today is to make other people being petty of little importance, trivial, minor, small, slight, insignificant, inconsequential, and negligible to me.

Here are some “petty” quotes:

I fly because it releases my mind from petty things. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul, not secrets of the brain. Kind ones bring us happiness; petty ones, untold pain. –– Ritu Ghatourey

Party loyalty lowers the greatest men to the petty level of the masses. — Jean de la Bruyère

Guilt is petty; I am above guilt. — Susan Cheever

Reproof should not exhaust its power on petty failings. — Samuel Johnson

More than jealousy or  possessiveness pettiness kills love. — Marty Rubin

Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of petty success. — Maude Adams

Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out — it’s the grain of sand in your shoe. — Robert Service

The art of giving orders is not to try to rectify the minor blunders and not to be swayed by petty doubts. — Sun Tzu

The constant petty behests of life permit few opportunities for major satisfactions, and when one is offered it should be seized.  — Rex Stout

Petty things don’t bother me as much as they used to  — Rebecca Lobo

Mankind accepts good fortune as his due, but when bad occurs, he thinks it was aimed at him, done to him, a hex, a curse, a punishment by his deity for some transgression, as though his god were a petty storekeeper, counting up the day’s receipts. — Sheri S. Tepper

Great necessity elevates man.  Petty necessity casts him down. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is better to lose everything you have to keep the balance of justice level, than to live a life of petty privilege devoid of true freedom. — Bryant H. McGill

Beware of those who attribute petty instructions to God. — Abdul Sattar Edhi

Petty laws breed great crimes. — Ouida

Never fear being a petty fool it means you ain’t dying.  — Timothy Spall

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. — George Carlin

In the Wikipedia entry about Ouida, it says she “dressed expensively but not tastefully.”  That seems rather petty, doesn’t it?

Do you see anything petty in my photos from yesterday?

 

That puppy at Pet Express was very pet-ty and here’s a quote from me:

Petty is the enemy of friendship. — Ann Koplow

Here‘s a Petty Song:

 

Here‘s  the Petty Song I was looking for:

 

It’s not petty for me express my gratitude to all who helped me create todays “Petty” post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2251: What am I?

“What am I?” recently showed up on my office white board.

What am I that I didn’t write the discussed follow-up to that question: “Chopped liver?”

What am I if I don’t explain that “What am I?  Chopped liver?” is a way some people express feeling expendable, unappreciated, and less-than.

What am I if I don’t link to this entry from knowyourphrase.com and quote this from there?

WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?

Meaning:

A rhetorical question used by a person who feels they are being given less attention or consideration than someone else.

Synonyms: None.

Origin Of ‘What Am I, Chopped Liver?’
​The origin of this phrase is not really clear. I have, however, heard of two theories that may indicate how this expression came to be. The first is that liver is not always viewed on the same level as others foods. For example, if a person is cooking a chicken, they’ll oftentimes throwaway the giblets, you know, like the liver or gizzard. Or instead of throwing the giblets away, the person will cook them, not for themselves, but for their pets to eat. Hence, since liver is not usually as desirable to eat as other foods, the expression might spring from such an idea.

Another explanation, as Wikipedia explains, is that “chopped liver was traditionally served as a side dish rather than a main course.” So the idea would be that sometimes, a person might feel like their thoughts or feelings are not being considered as fully as they should, so they feel like they are being treated as if they were a side dish.

Example Sentence(s)

1. Jake, a friend of mine, asked what my sister and I thought of his new clothes, but he seemed to specifically ignore my comments… what am I, chopped liver?

Have you read my similarly titled blog posts — Day 1313: Who am I? and Day 625: Where am I?  Why not?  What am I, chopped liver?

What are my photos, chopped liver?

 

What is that, chopped liver?  No, it’s delicious salmon, brussels sprouts, and quinoa.

What are these videos (found here and here)? Chopped liver?

What are you, chopped liver?  No, you are my valuable and much appreciated readers, so many thanks!

Day 2245: Expendable

Yesterday, in a therapy session, somebody talked about feeling expendable.  When someone labels themselves in a painful way, I write the word up on the board, to get it out of the person’s head and so that we can look at the label with different perspectives, perhaps making the unhelpful label expendable.

A definition of “expendable” may be expendable, but I’m sharing it anyway.

ex·pend·a·ble
/ikˈspendəb(ə)l
adjective
of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be abandoned.
“the region is expendable in the wider context of national politics”
synonyms: dispensable, able to be sacrificed, replaceable
(of an object) designed to be used only once and then abandoned or destroyed.
“the need for unmanned and expendable launch vehicles”

As I read that definition, it occurs to me that many people might be feeling expendable, as the current U.S. government shutdown drags on and on.

In that therapy session yesterday, I invited the expendable-feeling person to name what is opposite to expendable.  Here’s one non-expendable word:

Another opposite-to-expendable word was “valuable.”  Apparently a picture of that word was expendable.

Wait! I found “valuable” on this scale, which I drew on the board:

It might be valuable and appreciated, here and now,  if I ask my readers these questions: Do you ever feel expendable?  Appreciated?  Valuable?  Where are you on that scale, as you read this?  What helps you feel less expendable and more valuable and appreciated?

I wonder if any of the photos in this post are expendable, appreciated, and/or valuable.

It’s always appreciated when my non-expendable boyfriend Michael asks me to dance, and last night, after his very appreciated and valuable dinner (pictured above), we danced to this music, which is the opposite of expendable to me.

I really appreciate that Michael danced with me for the full eight-and-a-half minutes of that highly valued McCoy Tyner tune.

I hope you know that your comments are very valuable and appreciated.

Finally, here is some non-expendable gratitude for all who helped me create this post and — of course! — for YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2215: Departures

It’s not a departure to start this blog with a photo

or a definition.

de·par·ture

/dəˈpärCHər/
noun
the action of leaving, typically to start a journey.
“the day of departure”
synonyms: leaving, going, leave-taking, withdrawal, exit, egress, retreat
“he tried to delay her departure”
a deviation from an accepted, prescribed, or traditional course of action or thought.
“a departure from their usual style”
synonyms: deviation, divergence, digression, shift
NAUTICAL
the east–west distance between two points, especially as traveled by a ship or aircraft and expressed in miles.

It’s also not a departure for me to riff on a definition.  “He tried to delay her departure” reminds me of the discussion and controversy about Baby It’s Cold Outside (mentioned here by fellow WordPresser Kat).

Also, it’s not a departure for me to reveal how a blog title relates to my life. I’ve been thinking about several departures lately, including

• my son’s departure from university to come home for the holidays this Saturday,
• our departures, along with my ex-in-laws, for Disney World in January,
• my departure from dread and fear about the future and about other people’s possible negative reactions to me, and
• the departure of people from the United States political scene.

Let’s look for departures (or arrivals) in my other photos from yesterday.

It’s not a departure for me to put my photos here in chronological order and then rearrange them before my daily departure from home.

It’s not a departure for me to choose music based on the contents of my blog. Here‘s “Walk Away from Love” sung by the departed David Ruffin.

Before my departure today, I invite comments and also express gratitude to all who help me with my daily blogging (including YOU).

Day 2210: The exception that proves the rule

I wonder if this post will be the exception that proves the rule.  In order to know that, we need to know what “the exception that proves the rule” means.

“The exception proves the rule” is a saying whose meaning has been interpreted or misinterpreted in various ways. Its true definition, or at least original meaning, is that the presence of an exception applying to a specific case establishes (“proves”) that a general rule exists. For example, a sign that says “parking prohibited on Sundays” (the exception) “proves” that parking is allowed on the other six days of the week (the rule). A more explicit phrasing might be “the exception that proves the existence of the rule.”

An alternative explanation often encountered is that the word “prove” is used in the archaic sense of “test”.[1] Thus, the saying does not mean that an exception demonstrates a rule to be true or to exist, but that it tests the rule. In this sense, it is usually used when an exception to a rule has been identified:[clarification needed] for example, Mutillidae are wasps without wings which cannot fly, and therefore are an exception that proves (tests) the rule that wasps fly. The explanation that “proves” really means “tests” is, however, considered false by some sources.

Does that exceptional definition, from Wikipedia, prove anything?  Maybe we need to know what the rule is, here, before we prove any exception.

One of my rules here is providing some clarity and explanation about why I’m writing each of my daily posts.  Maybe this post will be an exception to that.

Or maybe not.   In narrative therapy, it’s important to identify exceptions to people’s unhelpful, generalized, negative rules about themselves and their lives.  For example, if somebody sees themselves as a loser or a failure, the narrative therapist helps them identify and talk more about the exceptions to that self-defeating rule.

When I hear exceptions outside my therapy office, I sometimes say, “That’s the exception that proves the rule.  Whatever that means.” I’m realizing now that I do know what it means.

Let’s see if any of my photos today illustrate “the exception that proves the rule.”

Usually we don’t have balloons of woodland creatures in the cafeteria at work.  Yesterday, there was a holiday celebration called “Wintery Woodlands,” where employees received hot chocolate, chocolate-covered pretzels, a calendar, and a lunchbox.  Because I’m exceptionally distracted these days, I left my calendar and lunchbox in the cafeteria. The rule is only one calendar and lunchbox for everyone, so I guess I’m out of luck.

That’s my new and exceptional co-worker, Alice.  She’s also taking a picture of the wintry woodlands in that photo.  I have a rule, in this blog, of not identifying where I work. I don’t think this photo is an exception to that. (Although I have slipped, one or two times, during the two thousand, two hundred, and ten days of blogging, so I guess those posts are exceptions that prove the rule.)

I’ve taken a lot of photos of this hotel marquee, but none of them have ever said, “12 Days of Music.”   I am predicting that this photo won’t be the last one that says that. I’ve also included a lot of music in this daily blog, but I don’t remember ever including any punk.  If so, today will be the exception that proves the rule.

Here’s a punk rock cover of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

 

If you usually don’t comment, why not make today the exception that proves the rule?

I’m considering not thanking people at the end of this post (which definitely is a rule at this blog), but some rules I do not want there to be an exception to.  So, exceptional thanks to all those who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! —  to YOU.

 

 

Day 2202: Conclusions

My conclusion, here and now, is that the definition of “conclusion” includes two very important meanings.

con·clu·sion
/kənˈklo͞oZHən
noun
plural noun: conclusions
1. the end or finish of an event or process.
“the conclusion of World War Two”
synonyms: end, ending, finish, close, termination, windup, cessation
2. a judgment or decision reached by reasoning.
“each research group came to a similar conclusion”
synonyms: deduction, inference, interpretation, reasoning

Sometimes, people reach conclusions (judgments/decisions) that result in the conclusion  (ending/finish) of a pattern of behaviors, a way of thinking,  a relationship, a job, or something else important in their lives.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, participants concluded to write down a list of other people’s harsh and unfair conclusions about them.  At the conclusion of that group exercise, they tore up these internalized negative messages and threw them away.  One person’s conclusion was that the internalized belief that she was trash deserved to be ripped up and tossed in the trash.

Are there any conclusions about or in my photos from yesterday?

Writing a Killer Conclusion includes many conclusions:

At the conclusion of each blog post, I express gratitude and appreciation to all those who helped me create it and to you — of course! — for reading it.

Day 2191: Try me

Let’s try on this definition of “Try me” from The Free Dictionary:

Try me

Also found in: Wikipedia.

Try me.
Ask me.; Give me a chance.

A: I don’t suppose you know what the Achaean League is. B: Try me.

I don’t suppose you know what the Achaean League is, because I don’t either.  However, ask me and give me a chance to show you why I’ve chosen “Try me” for today’s post title.

I didn’t try that moisturizer at MiAlisa Salon yesterday, but I did try to take other photos, which involved trying things.

I tried on some new socks and leggings yesterday morning, despite reading an online article, “What Middle Aged Women Should Not Wear” which included patterned socks and leggings. Try as I might, I can’t find that article today. Also, I’m past middle age, so maybe it’s not so bad if I keep trying those things. However, that combination might be particularly trying.

There’s my friend Deb, trying to pick up leaves in her back yard. Do you want more information about those yellow leaf-picker-uppers?  Try me.  If I don’t know, I can always try to ask Deb.

Here are other images I tried to capture yesterday:

I enjoy images that show people trying new things, including crafts like mosaic quilting and flameworking. If you’re trying too hard to read some of those pictures, try clicking on them to make them larger.

Do you know what season it is around here?  Try me.

As I try to finish up today’s blog post, I’m going to try to share what else is on my mind.  I do want people to try me — to ask me and give me a chance.   I try to convey that as best as I can.  Sometimes I might try too hard and perhaps people find that trying. Also, I can find it trying, sometimes, to try to ask others for what I need.

Do you have questions about all this?  Try me.

Here‘s “Try Me” by James Brown.

 

Do you want to know how much gratitude I have for all those who helped me create today’s blog post and for you?  Try me.

 

Day 2140: I can’t even

I can’t even express my enormous gratitude for my readers and for the comments on yesterday’s post, Day 2139: I Can’t/I Can.    I can’t even resist repeating this photo from yesterday

… and sharing this online definition of “I can’t even.”

About
“I Can’t Even”is an Internet slang expression used to indicate that the speaker is in a state of speechlessness, either as a result of feeling overjoyed or exasperated, depending on the context in which it is said. Due to its incomplete sentence structure, the adverb “even” in the expression can be interpreted as a substitute verb for “manage.” On Tumblr, the phrase is often used to caption reaction images in which the subject collapses in frustration or bewilderment.

Origin
The earliest known use of the incomplete phrase “I can’t even”  was submitted to Urban Dictionary[1] by user JJFADS on January 7th, 2005, defining it as an expression used to indicate a “breaking point.”

I can’t even believe that I had to edit that online definition by adding an “even” to “I can’t” in the second paragraph.

I can’t even explain this coincidence:  yesterday, in a therapy group, we discussed how people can become speechless and stunned when encountering thoughtless behaviors from others  that are so different from what they would do in a similar situation.

I can’t even count the number of times I’m in a state of speechlessness, these days, when I look at what’s going on in the world.

I can’t even manage my photos because there are so many of them, including these:

I can’t even say how much I love my sister Ellen, whose birthday is today. However, I could even text her that last photo yesterday.

I can’t even share all the YouTube videos there are about “I can’t even” including this one

… and this one.

I can’t even believe how that SNL skit literally focuses on how thoughtless people can be (as was discussed in my group yesterday).

I can’t even ask for more comments from my busy readers, but I will.

I can’t even express all my thanks to everyone who helped me create today’s post and to those who are reading it, including YOU!

Day 2130: Historic

In the entire history of this blog, I’ve never used the word “historic” in a title. Does that automatically make this post historic?

Let’s check the definition:

his·tor·ic
/hiˈstôrik
adjective

famous or important in history, or potentially so.
“we are standing on a historic site”
synonyms: significant, notable, important, momentous, consequential, memorable, newsworthy, unforgettable, remarkable

Perhaps.

Here’s the historic inspiration for today’s post:

When you use the word “historic,” what do you mean?

Do you see anything historic in my other photos from yesterday?

 

Here’s “Domestic Violence Awareness” by Gremlin:

Thanks to all who helped me create this “historic” post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Day 2118: Having too much on your plate

Yesterday, in my therapy groups, people talked about having too much on their plate.

I don’t have too much on my plate to share the meaning of that idiom.

Idiom – Too much on my plate or A lot on my plate or Enough on my plate. Meaning – To be too busy. To have too many things to deal with or a lot of things to worry about. This expression is used to signify that a person has too many different things to cope with.

Coincidentally, there were paper plates in the group room, because of a retirement party earlier in the day. I suggested that people take a plate, write and draw what was on their plate, and then, if they wished, throw the plate away. People threw away plates heaped with politicians, responsibilities, stress, fear, guilt, anxiety, shame, self-doubt, bureaucracies, traffic, abusers, unhelpful thoughts, and (on one plate) Florida.

I had too much on my plate yesterday to take pictures of the plates people created and threw away, but I can share these:

If I didn’t have too much on my plate right now (physical therapy for my shoulder, work, a presentation about my groups, and a live performance of “So You Think You Can Dance”), I’d come up with a pun about home plate.

Do you have too much on your plate to watch this video?

https://youtu.be/qSshr-EQmLM

I never have too much on my plate to thank all those who help me create these posts and — of course! — YOU.