Day 2407: Tell me about it

I’m going to tell you about Merriam-Webster’s definition of “tell me about it.”

tell me about it (idiom)

Definition of tell me about it
informal
—used to say that one understands what someone is talking about because one has had the same or a similar experience
“Something is wrong with that computer.” “Yeah, tell me about it. I can never get it to work properly.”

I don’t know if something is wrong with my computer, but I can’t post a shortened version of this video (in which I seem to be saying “Tell me about it” for 18 minutes) (and which I first told you about in this post) to YouTube.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTT1B5mT6uiWAp_Z-k4MB9fcDFDGg8Mb/view?usp=sharing

Let me tell you about what happens when I (and perhaps you)  click on that link.  I receive a message that says “Unable to process this video.”  However, I could still download it, although I got a message that told me “Google Drive can’t scan this file for viruses. Free.mp4 (1.4G) is too large for Google to scan for viruses. Would you still like to download this file?”

Too complicated or too much trouble?  Tell me about it.

Once my son returns from teaching English in Jordan, maybe he can tell me about how to post that video (which he shot in our gazebo two weeks ago) to YouTube.  If you do look at the video, tell me about which title you prefer:

• “Tell me about it.”
• “Free therapy with Ann.”
• “I’m listening.”

I can also tell you about the original, unedited, noisy, uncentered version of that video, which is here:

At this point, when I’m looking at a preview of this post, I’m telling you that video has this message: “Please wait. We are converting this video.”

Tell me about it.

In the meantime, I’m going to tell you about these recent photos I haven’t told you about before.

Which is your favorite photo?  Tell me about it.

Tell me about your reactions to this music in the air:

 

I want to break free of more technical problems, but I won’t tell you about it.  Instead, I’ll tell you about my gratitude to all who support my telling you about it, every day, here on WordPress.

Thoughts about those ways of expressing gratitude?  Tell me about it.

---

YouTube now tells me that this very abbreviated, silent version of “Free Therapy with Ann” has shown up there.

My expression in that still shot, above, seems to say, “Tell me about it.”  If I manage to post a longer version, I’ll tell you about it.

Day 2404: ACT

I act, every day, to

• publish a blog here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally  and
• encourage people to act in beneficial ways.

And yet, this is my first blog post with the word “act” in the title.  Time to act!

What does “act” mean to you? To Merriam-Webster, it means:

act noun
\ ˈakt \
Definition of act
1a : the doing of a thing : DEED
an act of courage
b law : something done voluntarily
2 : the process of doing something : ACTION
caught in the act
3 : the formal product of a legislative body : STATUTE
an act of Congress
also : a decision or determination of a sovereign, a legislative council, or a court of justice
4 : one of the principal divisions of a theatrical work (such as a play or opera)
a play in three acts
5a : one of successive parts or performances (as in a variety show or circus)
a magic act
b : the performer or performers in such an act
a two-person comedy act
c : a performance or presentation identified with a particular individual or group
They took their act on the road.
d : the sum of a person’s actions or effects that serve to create an impression or set an example
a hard act to follow
6 : a display of affected behavior : PRETENSE
put on an act that deceived nobody
His friendly concern was just an act.
7 often capitalized : a formal record of something done or transacted
8 : a state of real existence rather than possibility
into the act or in on the act
: into an undertaking or situation as an active participant
saw the success they were having and wanted to get in on the act
act verb
acted; acting; acts
intransitive verb

1 : to take action : MOVE
think before acting
acted favorably on the recommendation
2 : to conduct oneself : BEHAVE
act like a fool
3a : to perform on the stage
began acting at the age of eight
b : to behave as if performing on the stage : PRETEND
seemed angry but was just acting
4 : to perform a specified function : SERVE
trees acting as a windbreak
5 : to produce an effect : WORK
wait for a medicine to act
6 : to give a decision or award
adjourned without acting on the bill
7 of a play : to be capable of being performed
a play that acts well
transitive verb

1a : to represent or perform by action especially on the stage
will act the part of Romeo in tonight’s play
b : FEIGN, SIMULATE
act indifference
c : IMPERSONATE
2 : to play the part of as if in a play
act the man of the world
3 : to behave in a manner suitable to
Act your age.
4 obsolete : ACTUATE, ANIMATE
ACT abbreviation
Definition of ACT
1 Action for Children’s Television
2 Association of Classroom Teachers
3 Australian Capital Territory

To therapists, ACT (abbreviation)  also means Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I shall now act to quote the Wikipedia description about ACT:

The objective of ACT is not elimination of difficult feelings; rather, it is to be present with what life brings us and to “move toward valued behavior”.[6] Acceptance and commitment therapy invites people to open up to unpleasant feelings, and learn not to overreact to them, and not avoid situations where they are invoked. Its therapeutic effect is a positive spiral where feeling better leads to a better understanding of the truth.[7] In ACT, ‘truth’ is measured through the concept of ‘workability’, or what works to take another step toward what matters (e.g. values, meaning).

ACT (abbreviation) also means this:

When I was caught in the act taking that photo yesterday, I acted to smile and give a thumbs up to the ACT workers near that truck.

Here are other ways I acted yesterday:

I have to act fast to finish this post with a  Stephen Sondheim song  (which features actors avoiding action by focusing on fault).

 

It’s never just an act when I express gratitude to all who help me act to create this daily blog and — of course! — thanks to YOU.

Day 2383: Come inside and be foolish

Yesterday, when I was walking outside and being foolishly apprehensive about writing and delivering a “Report from the President” at a group therapy conference this weekend, I saw an invitation to come inside and be foolish.

Personally, I appreciate any invitation to come inside and accept all my different parts (from foolish to wise). How about you?

Here’s my next foolish thought:  “The Fool” is the most evolved of all the Jungian archetypes.

The Fool/Jester archetype urges us to enjoy the process of our lives. Although the Fool/Jester can be prone to laziness and dissipation, the positive Fool/Jester invites us all out to play — showing us how to turn our work, our interactions with others, and even the most mundane tasks into FUN. The goal of the Fool/Jester is perhaps the wisest goal of all, which is just to enjoy life as it is, with all its paradoxes and dilemmas.

This fool now wants to look at a definition of “foolish.”

fool·ish
/ˈfo͞oliSH/
adjective
(of a person or action) lacking good sense or judgment; unwise.
“it was foolish of you to enter into correspondence.”

synonyms: stupid, silly, idiotic, halfwitted, witless, brainless, mindless, thoughtless, imprudent, incautious, irresponsible, injudicious, indiscreet, unwise, unintelligent, unreasonable; ill-advised, ill-considered, impolitic, rash, reckless, foolhardy, lunatic; absurd, senseless, pointless, nonsensical, inane, fatuous, ridiculous, laughable, risible, derisible; informal,: dumb, dim, dimwitted, dopey, gormless, damfool, half-baked, harebrained, crackbrained, peabrained, wooden-headed, thickheaded, nutty, mad, crazy, dotty, batty, dippy, cuckoo, screwy, wacky; informal barmy, daft; informal: glaikit; informal:dumb-ass, chowderheaded; informal: dotish

“her desperation led her to do something foolish”

Her desperation led her to do something foolish; my desperation leads me to blogging. (Of course, everything leads me to blogging; I’ve been writing a daily blog in the morning for almost seven years.)  (But what fool is counting?)

And if it’s foolish for me to write this blog before writing my report from the President, so be it.

Speaking of foolish, is it foolish for me to be worried about the stupid, silly, idiotic, halfwitted, witless, brainless, mindless, thoughtless, imprudent, incautious, irresponsible, injudicious, indiscreet, unwise, unintelligent, unreasonable, ill-advised, ill-considered, impolitic, rash, reckless, foolhardy, lunatic, absurd, senseless, pointless, nonsensical, inane, fatuous, ridiculous, laughable, risible, derisible, dumb, dim, dimwitted, dopey, gormless, damfool, half-baked, harebrained, crackbrained, peabrained, wooden-headed, thickheaded, nutty, mad, crazy, dotty, batty, dippy, cuckoo, screwy, wacky, barmy, daft, glaikit, dumb-ass, chowderheaded, and dotish reports from and about another President?

Worry is always foolish, because it doesn’t help anything.

Let’s be  glaikit (Scottish word meaning foolish, giddy) together and look at my other foolish fotos from yesterday!

Michael was foolish enough to make LOTS of those delicious cod cakes last night. And I was foolish enough to clean my plate.

My first week of blogging, I was foolish enough to write a post about procrastination.  After going inside that old post, I’m foolishly quoting it here:

if I AM going to wait until the last minute to do something, I wish to heaven I could block that procrastinated task totally out of my mind. But that’s not how it works for me. Usually, I’m exquisitely and uncomfortably aware of what I’m avoiding. Geesh. There’s got to be a way for procrastination to be more fun.

As I’ve gotten older, I have become more forgiving about my procrastinating tendencies. I’ve also realized that procrastination for me often has to do with insecurity. For example, I almost always wait until the last minute to do something that I think I might conceivably suck at doing — or, at least, where I might fall short of my own expectations and wishes.

One thing I’ve historically procrastinated about is …….. writing.

Maybe I procrastinate because I’m foolishly afraid of appearing foolish.

Here‘s the foolish song going through my foolish head, here and now:

 

Come inside and be foolish with a comment, below!

Finally, I shall finish this foolish post with a foolish foto to express my thanks to all those who helped me write today’s post and — of course! —  to YOU.  No fooling!

 

 

 

Day 2344: Not sure?

Not sure

• what to do,
• what to think,
• what to feel, or
• where today’s blog post title is coming from?

I’m not sure about a lot of things,  but I sure appreciate clear instructions about what to do when I’m not sure (like when I’m having another one of those days and I’m not sure exactly where to place the different remnants from my lunch in the hospital cafeteria).

Not sure about the definition of “sure”?

sure
/SHo͝or/
adjective

1. confident in what one thinks or knows; having no doubt that one is right.
“I’m sure I’ve seen that dress before”
synonyms: certain, positive, convinced, definite, confident, decided, assured, secure, satisfied, persuaded, easy in one’s mind, free from doubt

adverb

INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN
1.certainly (used for emphasis).
“Texas sure was a great place to grow up”

I’m not sure whether that’s the best definition of “sure”  on the internet, but I put it here anyway.

Not sure about any of my other photos from yesterday?

Michael was not sure if our recently repaired entry-way roof was supposed to look like that, so he called the roofer, who sure came over fast last night to respond to our concerns.

JAGMAC  — a group of six siblings from Baltimore — is  “Not Sure.”

Not sure about anything, here and now? I’d sure like to know about it.

I’m not sure how to express my gratitude to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! —  to YOU, but I’ll put this here.

Day 2275: Petty

When I’m petty, I feel guilty.  When I observe other people being petty, I get scared, because I’ve observed pettiness wreaking havoc with relationships.

Here’s a definition of petty:

pet·ty
/ˈpedē/
adjective
1. of little importance; trivial.
“the petty divisions of party politics”
synonyms: trivial, trifling, minor, small, slight, unimportant, insignificant, inessential, inconsequential, inconsiderable, negligible, paltry, footling, fiddling, niggling, pettifogging, nugatory, of little account
2. of secondary or lesser importance, rank, or scale; minor.
“a petty official”

My personal goal for today is to make other people being petty of little importance, trivial, minor, small, slight, insignificant, inconsequential, and negligible to me.

Here are some “petty” quotes:

I fly because it releases my mind from petty things. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul, not secrets of the brain. Kind ones bring us happiness; petty ones, untold pain. –– Ritu Ghatourey

Party loyalty lowers the greatest men to the petty level of the masses. — Jean de la Bruyère

Guilt is petty; I am above guilt. — Susan Cheever

Reproof should not exhaust its power on petty failings. — Samuel Johnson

More than jealousy or  possessiveness pettiness kills love. — Marty Rubin

Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of petty success. — Maude Adams

Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out — it’s the grain of sand in your shoe. — Robert Service

The art of giving orders is not to try to rectify the minor blunders and not to be swayed by petty doubts. — Sun Tzu

The constant petty behests of life permit few opportunities for major satisfactions, and when one is offered it should be seized.  — Rex Stout

Petty things don’t bother me as much as they used to  — Rebecca Lobo

Mankind accepts good fortune as his due, but when bad occurs, he thinks it was aimed at him, done to him, a hex, a curse, a punishment by his deity for some transgression, as though his god were a petty storekeeper, counting up the day’s receipts. — Sheri S. Tepper

Great necessity elevates man.  Petty necessity casts him down. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is better to lose everything you have to keep the balance of justice level, than to live a life of petty privilege devoid of true freedom. — Bryant H. McGill

Beware of those who attribute petty instructions to God. — Abdul Sattar Edhi

Petty laws breed great crimes. — Ouida

Never fear being a petty fool it means you ain’t dying.  — Timothy Spall

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. — George Carlin

In the Wikipedia entry about Ouida, it says she “dressed expensively but not tastefully.”  That seems rather petty, doesn’t it?

Do you see anything petty in my photos from yesterday?

 

That puppy at Pet Express was very pet-ty and here’s a quote from me:

Petty is the enemy of friendship. — Ann Koplow

Here‘s a Petty Song:

 

Here‘s  the Petty Song I was looking for:

 

It’s not petty for me express my gratitude to all who helped me create todays “Petty” post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2251: What am I?

“What am I?” recently showed up on my office white board.

What am I that I didn’t write the discussed follow-up to that question: “Chopped liver?”

What am I if I don’t explain that “What am I?  Chopped liver?” is a way some people express feeling expendable, unappreciated, and less-than.

What am I if I don’t link to this entry from knowyourphrase.com and quote this from there?

WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?

Meaning:

A rhetorical question used by a person who feels they are being given less attention or consideration than someone else.

Synonyms: None.

Origin Of ‘What Am I, Chopped Liver?’
​The origin of this phrase is not really clear. I have, however, heard of two theories that may indicate how this expression came to be. The first is that liver is not always viewed on the same level as others foods. For example, if a person is cooking a chicken, they’ll oftentimes throwaway the giblets, you know, like the liver or gizzard. Or instead of throwing the giblets away, the person will cook them, not for themselves, but for their pets to eat. Hence, since liver is not usually as desirable to eat as other foods, the expression might spring from such an idea.

Another explanation, as Wikipedia explains, is that “chopped liver was traditionally served as a side dish rather than a main course.” So the idea would be that sometimes, a person might feel like their thoughts or feelings are not being considered as fully as they should, so they feel like they are being treated as if they were a side dish.

Example Sentence(s)

1. Jake, a friend of mine, asked what my sister and I thought of his new clothes, but he seemed to specifically ignore my comments… what am I, chopped liver?

Have you read my similarly titled blog posts — Day 1313: Who am I? and Day 625: Where am I?  Why not?  What am I, chopped liver?

What are my photos, chopped liver?

 

What is that, chopped liver?  No, it’s delicious salmon, brussels sprouts, and quinoa.

What are these videos (found here and here)? Chopped liver?

What are you, chopped liver?  No, you are my valuable and much appreciated readers, so many thanks!

Day 2245: Expendable

Yesterday, in a therapy session, somebody talked about feeling expendable.  When someone labels themselves in a painful way, I write the word up on the board, to get it out of the person’s head and so that we can look at the label with different perspectives, perhaps making the unhelpful label expendable.

A definition of “expendable” may be expendable, but I’m sharing it anyway.

ex·pend·a·ble
/ikˈspendəb(ə)l
adjective
of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be abandoned.
“the region is expendable in the wider context of national politics”
synonyms: dispensable, able to be sacrificed, replaceable
(of an object) designed to be used only once and then abandoned or destroyed.
“the need for unmanned and expendable launch vehicles”

As I read that definition, it occurs to me that many people might be feeling expendable, as the current U.S. government shutdown drags on and on.

In that therapy session yesterday, I invited the expendable-feeling person to name what is opposite to expendable.  Here’s one non-expendable word:

Another opposite-to-expendable word was “valuable.”  Apparently a picture of that word was expendable.

Wait! I found “valuable” on this scale, which I drew on the board:

It might be valuable and appreciated, here and now,  if I ask my readers these questions: Do you ever feel expendable?  Appreciated?  Valuable?  Where are you on that scale, as you read this?  What helps you feel less expendable and more valuable and appreciated?

I wonder if any of the photos in this post are expendable, appreciated, and/or valuable.

It’s always appreciated when my non-expendable boyfriend Michael asks me to dance, and last night, after his very appreciated and valuable dinner (pictured above), we danced to this music, which is the opposite of expendable to me.

I really appreciate that Michael danced with me for the full eight-and-a-half minutes of that highly valued McCoy Tyner tune.

I hope you know that your comments are very valuable and appreciated.

Finally, here is some non-expendable gratitude for all who helped me create this post and — of course! — for YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2215: Departures

It’s not a departure to start this blog with a photo

or a definition.

de·par·ture

/dəˈpärCHər/
noun
the action of leaving, typically to start a journey.
“the day of departure”
synonyms: leaving, going, leave-taking, withdrawal, exit, egress, retreat
“he tried to delay her departure”
a deviation from an accepted, prescribed, or traditional course of action or thought.
“a departure from their usual style”
synonyms: deviation, divergence, digression, shift
NAUTICAL
the east–west distance between two points, especially as traveled by a ship or aircraft and expressed in miles.

It’s also not a departure for me to riff on a definition.  “He tried to delay her departure” reminds me of the discussion and controversy about Baby It’s Cold Outside (mentioned here by fellow WordPresser Kat).

Also, it’s not a departure for me to reveal how a blog title relates to my life. I’ve been thinking about several departures lately, including

• my son’s departure from university to come home for the holidays this Saturday,
• our departures, along with my ex-in-laws, for Disney World in January,
• my departure from dread and fear about the future and about other people’s possible negative reactions to me, and
• the departure of people from the United States political scene.

Let’s look for departures (or arrivals) in my other photos from yesterday.

It’s not a departure for me to put my photos here in chronological order and then rearrange them before my daily departure from home.

It’s not a departure for me to choose music based on the contents of my blog. Here‘s “Walk Away from Love” sung by the departed David Ruffin.

Before my departure today, I invite comments and also express gratitude to all who help me with my daily blogging (including YOU).

Day 2210: The exception that proves the rule

I wonder if this post will be the exception that proves the rule.  In order to know that, we need to know what “the exception that proves the rule” means.

“The exception proves the rule” is a saying whose meaning has been interpreted or misinterpreted in various ways. Its true definition, or at least original meaning, is that the presence of an exception applying to a specific case establishes (“proves”) that a general rule exists. For example, a sign that says “parking prohibited on Sundays” (the exception) “proves” that parking is allowed on the other six days of the week (the rule). A more explicit phrasing might be “the exception that proves the existence of the rule.”

An alternative explanation often encountered is that the word “prove” is used in the archaic sense of “test”.[1] Thus, the saying does not mean that an exception demonstrates a rule to be true or to exist, but that it tests the rule. In this sense, it is usually used when an exception to a rule has been identified:[clarification needed] for example, Mutillidae are wasps without wings which cannot fly, and therefore are an exception that proves (tests) the rule that wasps fly. The explanation that “proves” really means “tests” is, however, considered false by some sources.

Does that exceptional definition, from Wikipedia, prove anything?  Maybe we need to know what the rule is, here, before we prove any exception.

One of my rules here is providing some clarity and explanation about why I’m writing each of my daily posts.  Maybe this post will be an exception to that.

Or maybe not.   In narrative therapy, it’s important to identify exceptions to people’s unhelpful, generalized, negative rules about themselves and their lives.  For example, if somebody sees themselves as a loser or a failure, the narrative therapist helps them identify and talk more about the exceptions to that self-defeating rule.

When I hear exceptions outside my therapy office, I sometimes say, “That’s the exception that proves the rule.  Whatever that means.” I’m realizing now that I do know what it means.

Let’s see if any of my photos today illustrate “the exception that proves the rule.”

Usually we don’t have balloons of woodland creatures in the cafeteria at work.  Yesterday, there was a holiday celebration called “Wintery Woodlands,” where employees received hot chocolate, chocolate-covered pretzels, a calendar, and a lunchbox.  Because I’m exceptionally distracted these days, I left my calendar and lunchbox in the cafeteria. The rule is only one calendar and lunchbox for everyone, so I guess I’m out of luck.

That’s my new and exceptional co-worker, Alice.  She’s also taking a picture of the wintry woodlands in that photo.  I have a rule, in this blog, of not identifying where I work. I don’t think this photo is an exception to that. (Although I have slipped, one or two times, during the two thousand, two hundred, and ten days of blogging, so I guess those posts are exceptions that prove the rule.)

I’ve taken a lot of photos of this hotel marquee, but none of them have ever said, “12 Days of Music.”   I am predicting that this photo won’t be the last one that says that. I’ve also included a lot of music in this daily blog, but I don’t remember ever including any punk.  If so, today will be the exception that proves the rule.

Here’s a punk rock cover of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

 

If you usually don’t comment, why not make today the exception that proves the rule?

I’m considering not thanking people at the end of this post (which definitely is a rule at this blog), but some rules I do not want there to be an exception to.  So, exceptional thanks to all those who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! —  to YOU.

 

 

Day 2202: Conclusions

My conclusion, here and now, is that the definition of “conclusion” includes two very important meanings.

con·clu·sion
/kənˈklo͞oZHən
noun
plural noun: conclusions
1. the end or finish of an event or process.
“the conclusion of World War Two”
synonyms: end, ending, finish, close, termination, windup, cessation
2. a judgment or decision reached by reasoning.
“each research group came to a similar conclusion”
synonyms: deduction, inference, interpretation, reasoning

Sometimes, people reach conclusions (judgments/decisions) that result in the conclusion  (ending/finish) of a pattern of behaviors, a way of thinking,  a relationship, a job, or something else important in their lives.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, participants concluded to write down a list of other people’s harsh and unfair conclusions about them.  At the conclusion of that group exercise, they tore up these internalized negative messages and threw them away.  One person’s conclusion was that the internalized belief that she was trash deserved to be ripped up and tossed in the trash.

Are there any conclusions about or in my photos from yesterday?

Writing a Killer Conclusion includes many conclusions:

At the conclusion of each blog post, I express gratitude and appreciation to all those who helped me create it and to you — of course! — for reading it.