Day 2742: Community

On June 13, I am going to be facilitating an online community meeting for an esteemed community of group therapists.

Here’s an online definition of community:

com·mu·ni·ty
/kəˈmyo͞onədē/

1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

As I’m looking at that definition, I’m thinking how important difference and diversity are (not just things shared in common) for enriching a community.

I’m planning on asking people questions during the online community meeting, like

1. What does community mean to you?
2. What gets in the way of community for you?
3. What helps you connect to a community?

I’d also like to share the poem “community” by rupi kaur, which was featured in my previous blog post about community:

when the world comes crashing at your feet

it’s okay to let others

help pick up the pieces

if we’re present to take part in your happiness

when your circumstances are great

we are more than capable

of sharing your pain

Here‘s a video on rupi kaur  from the community of the Sikh Foundation of Canada.

 

Do any of my photos from yesterday relate to community?

Because part of community is creating a safe enough space for others to participate, what are your thoughts and feelings about community?

I am grateful for all my communities, including this one!

 

Day 2717: Traceability

Traceability (according to this traceable point on the internet) is

The ability to trace (identify and measure) all the stages that led to a particular point in a process that consists of a chain of interrelated events.

Let’s see if we have the ability to trace (identify and measure) all the stages that led to this particular title in a process that consists of a chain of interrelated blog posts.

That’s it.  Today’s blog post title is traceable to that sign in a Whole Food Market, which I saw yesterday when Michael and I were doing our weekly food shopping.

After we shopped, removed our masks, and got into my traceably bright yellow car, Michael said, “That was stressful.  I used to enjoy food shopping.”   Michael’s comment has traceability — we are in a particular point in a process of a chain of interrelated pandemic events.

Do you see traceability in my other photos from yesterday?

My choice of video today has traceability back to my watching  Royal Wedding with Fred Astaire and Jane Powell yesterday.

Fred Astaire’s character dancing on the walls and ceiling has traceability from Sarah Churchill‘s character revealing earlier in Royal Wedding that she used to imagine she could dance all over the floors, walls and  “even the ceiling” when she was a child. Sarah Churchill’s lineage has traceability to her father, Winston Churchill.

So much traceability, so little time.

Today’s thanks — to everybody who helps me blog every day, (including YOU) —  have traceability to yesterday’s visit to Whole Foods, too.

Day 2713: Lectures

There will be no lectures, here and now  — just a sharing of information and images, like this one:

Please, no lectures about that button I made for a woman who has to  deal with a man who lectures her.  Instead, let’s look at this definition of lecture:

to criticize (someone) severely or angrily especially for personal failings

“the frustrated manager lectured the waitstaff about its poor level of service”

Synonyms for lecture

baste, bawl out, berate, call down, castigate, chastise, chew out, dress down, flay, hammer, jaw, keelhaul, lambaste (or lambast), rag, rail (at or against), rant (at), rate, ream (out), rebuke, reprimand, reproach, scold, score, tongue-lash, upbraid
Words Related to lecture

admonish, chide, remonstrate (with), reprove
abuse, assail, attack, bad-mouth, blame, blast, censure, condemn, criticize, crucify, denounce, dis (also diss) [slang], excoriate, fault, harangue, knock, lace (into), lash, pan, reprehend, revile, scourge, slam, vituperate
belittle, disparage, mock, put down
ridicule, scoff, scorn

Phrases synonymous with lecture

lay into, read the riot act (to), take to task

Near antonyms for lecture

approve, endorse (also indorse), sanction
extol (also extoll), laud, praise

Please, no lectures about my sharing the definition, synonyms, and antonyms for the verb form of the word “lecture” there.

Instead of lectures, I prefer

• action,
• help,
• thoughtfulness,
• kindness,
• empathy,
• awareness,
• understanding,
• listening,
• approval,
• endorsement,
• praise,
• openness,
• flexibility, and
• acceptance.

Who lectures you, these days?   Authority figures?  Family members? Acquaintances? YOURSELF?

How do those lectures affect you?  How do you deal with them?

If you wear a button like this about lectures …

… at least you’re being direct and polite.

No lectures about signing up for my socially distanced performance of “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” tomorrow night between 7 – 9 PM, USA Eastern Time, but you do need to do that TODAY by using this link:

https://www.signupgenius.com/go/9040b4eadaa23a2f49-jamn2

Are there any lectures in my other photos from yesterday, when I left the house before I felt ready?

 

I didn’t hear any lectures in Buena Vista Social Club last night, but I did hear great music including this:

 

I look forward to your thoughts and feelings about lectures, below.

No lectures, just thanks to all who helped me create this “Lectures” post, including YOU.

 

Day 2666: Be careful what you wish for

My careful husband Michael, who is all that I could wish for, likes to say, “Be careful what you wish for.”

If you wish for a careful definition of that statement, here‘s one:

(be) careful what you wish for — idiom
Definition of (be) careful what you wish for
—used to tell people to think before they say that they want something and to suggest that they may not actually want it
You think having twins would be fun? Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

Over the past few months, I’ve often wished for

• more time at home,
• the chance to relax, and
• major changes in the current political situation.

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m getting what I wished for.  I guess I should have been careful.

I want to be careful in explaining what I’m currently wishing for, because it might sound bad. I’m wishing that if I had been tested for COVID-19 (which my doctors unsuccessfully wished for and asked for) when I was briefly hospitalized with fevers earlier this week, I would have tested positive.

Why am I wishing for THAT?  Because

• I’ve been self-quarantining,  so I know I’ve done my best to reduce the spread,
• I’d be immensely relieved to know that I survived the pandemic unscathed despite being in the major risk categories (age and underlying health issues), and
•  I would now be immune to the disease, according to my careful cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem.

Whether or not Dr. Salem wishes to be quoted in this blog,  he often is.  Here is an excerpt of his email to me this week after my release from the hospital:

It is criminal that we have not been able to test. It is really good to hear that you are better since anyone that has the illness and recovers should now be immune.

It looks like Dr. Salem also wishes that I would have tested positive for the illness, if testing had been available.

Be careful what photos you wish for, because you might get these:

Be careful what you wish for if you wish to eat pasta every day, because that’s what we’ve got!

For those of us who wished to see more of Mayor Pete Buttigieg this year, we got this …

…  this …

… and this:

It looks like Pete, a huge Star Trek fan, got what he wished for his first time guest hosting an American late night TV show.

Here‘s part of the classic be-careful-what-you-wish-for Twilight Zone episode, “Time Enough at Last”:

What I wish for now includes (1) comments and (2) the opportunity to express my gratitude for all who help me create these daily blog posts, including YOU!

Day 2629: Fresh on so many levels

Yesterday,  when I was fresh from a very good meeting with my cardiologist Dr. Deeb Salem, I saw this:

There so many levels of meaning for the word “fresh.”

FRESH adjective
\ ˈfresh \
Definition of fresh
1a : having its original qualities unimpaired: such as
(1): full of or renewed in vigor : REFRESHED
rose fresh from a good night’s sleep
(2): not stale, sour, or decayed
fresh bread
(3): not faded
lessons fresh in her memory
(4): not worn or rumpled
a fresh white shirt

b: not altered by processing
fresh vegetables
2a: not salt
fresh water
b(1): free from taint : PURE
fresh air
(2)of wind : moderately strong
a fresh breeze

3a(1): experienced, made, or received newly or anew
form fresh friendships
(2): ADDITIONAL, ANOTHER
a fresh start
b: ORIGINAL, VIVID
a fresh portrayal
c: lacking experience : RAW
coming fresh to the job
— Helen Howe
d: just come or arrived
fresh from school
e: having the milk flow recently established
a fresh cow
4[ probably by folk etymology from German frech] : disposed to take liberties : IMPUDENT
don’t get fresh with me
5 slang : FASHIONABLE, COOL

I hope my other photos in today’s fresh post  are fresh on so many levels.

Here‘s a song I remember that used the word “fresh”.

I’ll be looking for so many levels in your fresh comments, below.

I’m grateful on so many levels, here and now.

 

 

Day 2606: Antisocial

Is it antisocial to think,  every once in a while, “I’m so done with everyone and everything”?

Here’s a definition of “antisocial” I found on social media:

an·ti·so·cial
/ˌan(t)ēˈsōSHəl,ˌanˌtīˈsōSHəl/
adjective

1. contrary to the laws and customs of society; devoid of or antagonistic to sociable instincts or practices.
“a dangerous, unprincipled, antisocial type of man”
Similar:
objectionable
offensive
beyond the pale
unacceptable
unsocial
asocial
distasteful
disruptive
disorderly
lawless
rebellious
sociopathic
2. not sociable; not wanting the company of others.

I would say that, sometimes, I’m  not wanting the company of others, especially if they’re objectionable, offensive, beyond the pale, unacceptable unsocial, asocial, distasteful, disruptive, disorderly, lawless, rebellious, or sociopathic.

Does that make me antisocial?

Let’s see what my Daily Bitch Calendar says:

Are these other photos antisocial?

Even on days when I’m feeling a little antisocial, I also feel anti-antisocial or, more simply, social.

I don’t want to seem antisocial, but I need to end this antisocial post in order to get to work on time.

Before I do, here’s some antisocial music.

 

I’m never too antisocial to express my thanks to all who help me create and share this daily blog, including YOU.

 

 

Day 2563: Essentials

I think clear communication is essential, so I’m essentially starting today’s blog post with a definition of essentials.

es·sen·tial
/əˈsen(t)SHəl/
noun
plural noun: essentials

a thing that is absolutely necessary.
“we had only the bare essentials in the way of gear”

the fundamental elements or characteristics of something.
“he was quick to grasp the essentials of an opponent’s argument”

Are you quick to grasp the essentials of a blog post from me?

What essentials do you see in my photographs?  I see the essentials of connection, loyalty, self-care, animals, and others.

It’s essential that I get to work on time, so I’m going to quickly finish this blog post with another essential for me — music. Last night, my essential fiancé and I danced to tunes that might become our essential song. It’s not essential that you listen to these (here and here on YouTube), but I hope you do.

 

What are your essentials?

Of course, gratitude is an essential here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, so thanks to all who are essential in helping me create these daily posts, including YOU!

Day 2552: That’s the way we roll

As I roll out of bed every morning, I write a blog post, hoping for a minimum of eye rolls from my readers. That’s the way I roll.

Let’s roll out a definition of “That’s the way we roll.”

“That’s the way we roll” (“This is the way we roll”) means “That’s the way we are”. Another way of saying “That’s the way we roll” is “That’s the way we do things when we are being true to ourselves.”

“The way we roll” is how people behave when they aren’t “putting on a front” (faking it) but are expressing their true nature or their “real” attitude or reaction/s to that time and place. “That’s the way we roll” or “That’s the way I roll” is bluntly and unapologetically said with the unspoken addition of “and if you don’t like it, I couldn’t care less”.

….

The core meaning of “to roll” is “to move a certain way”. It’s my position that the slang meaning of “to roll” = “to behave in an intrinsic manner” comes from the belief that the way a person “lives and moves” reflects and determines that person’s being.

 

That’s the way pancocojams rolls and defines “That’s the way we roll.”

It’s time for me to roll out my latest photos, because that’s the way we roll here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.

 

Harley rolls up on the sofa until people show up for a Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy Board Meeting. That’s the way he rolls.

According to the rolling bus pictured above, The Nutcracker is rolling into Boston soon. Here‘s one way it rolls on YouTube:

Here‘s the way Boston Ballet dancers roll in “The Russian Dance” from The Nutcracker:

 

People in political power are rolling all sorts of ways these days. I hope some will be rolling out of the way  a year from now.  That’s the way I hope our country rolls.

I’m looking forward to seeing the way you roll in the comment section, below.

Here’s the way gratitude rolls at the end of my daily blog posts.

 

 

 

Day 2546: It’s not unusual

It’s not unusual for me to

• spend time worrying about something that doesn’t come to pass,
• make assumptions about what somebody is thinking only to find that I was way off,
• avoid checking the latest news,
• wish better people were in power,
• be shy about asking for help,
• write on white boards at work,
• talk to anybody who will listen about the healing power of groups,
• pose a question and then find out the answer is more complicated than expected, and
• appreciate being alive, every day.

In yesterday’s blog post — Day 2545: Transformation — I asked people to identify the guitarist on the 1965 Tom Jones hit, “It’s Not Unusual.”

While I was told the guitarist was Jimmy Page, it turns out that the guitarist was either Jimmy Page or Joe Moretti AND the keyboardist was definitely Reginald Dwight, more famously known as Elton John.

It’s not unusual for me to send an email like this to Michael:

Who was the keyboardist on “It’s Not Unusual”?

One of the most famous keyboardists in rock and roll history!

Don’t cheat! Answer provided tonight!

Love,
One of the least famous keyboardists in history

It’s not unusual for me to share my latest photos.

It’s not unusual for a cat to look at a king or a blogger.

It’s not unusual for me to share definitions, like this one:

A CAT MAY  LOOK AT A KING

A cat may look at a king is an English proverb that means even someone of low status has rights. A cat may look at a king implies that all people have certain minimal rights by virtue of being alive. Like many proverbs, the origin is unknown. The first printed version of the idiom a cat may look at a king was published in 1562, in The Proverbs And Epigrams Of John Heywood, “What, a cat may look on a king, ye know!” It is almost certain that the proverb existed in oral tradition long before it was written down. A cat may look at a king is a proverb that is not as popular as it was in the past, perhaps because inalienable human rights are more recognized in the present time, or perhaps because the power of kings is not what it once was.

It’s not unusual for me to appreciate any comments you might share, below.

It’s not unusual for me to express gratitude for all who help me create these daily blog post, including YOU!

 

Day 2542: Quid Pro Quo

Lately, there’s been a lot of  this-for-that activity in the news using the phrase “quid pro quo.” 

If I include  a definition of “quid pro quo”  for you here, will you  leave a comment for me below?

quid pro quo

noun
\ kwid-ˌprō-ˈkwō \

: something given or received for something else
also : a deal arranging a quid pro quo

Synonyms:

back-and-forth, barter, commutation, dicker, exchange, swap, trade, trade-off, truck

Quid Pro Quo and the Apothecary:
In the early 16th century, a quid pro quo was something obtained from an apothecary. That’s because when quid pro quo (New Latin for “something for something”) was first used in English, it referred to the process of substituting one medicine for another—whether intentionally (and sometimes fraudulently) or accidentally. The meaning of the phrase was quickly extended, however, and within several decades it was being used for more general equivalent exchanges. These days, it often occurs in legal contexts.

Examples of quid pro quo in a Sentence:
In politics nobody does something for nothing: there’s always a quid pro quo involved.

.
Recent Examples on the Web:
The investigation revolved around suspicions of a quid pro quo — whether the Interior Department rejected a casino application in exchange for campaign contributions from other tribes that opposed the project.
— Ian James, azcentral, “He took down dams, freed wolves and preserved wildlands. Bruce Babbitt is still at work,” 14 July 2019
Sullivan, who secretly recorded the meeting, disputes that characterization and says the two lawmakers offered him a quid pro quo.
— James Barragán, Dallas News, “What was motive for Texas House Speaker’s secret meeting? ‘Target list’ or effort to keep GOP majority,” 23 Aug. 2019
These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word ‘quid pro quo.’ Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.

First Known Use of quid pro quo
1582, in the meaning defined above

History and Etymology for quid pro quo
New Latin, something for something

I shall now share two things I noticed in that Merriam-Webster definition.   Might you do the same?

1. I don’t know what a truck is doing there.  These days, I would much rather see a fuel-efficient vehicle than a truck, no matter where it is.  (For my readers in the UK, when I say “truck” I mean a lorry or a wagon.  Now that I’ve cleared that up for you, what will you do for me?)
2. I can’t believe that those are the most recent examples on the web.

Here are some Quid Pro Quo-tes, from elsewhere on the web.

“Rich people show their appreciation through favors. When everyone you know has more money than they know what to do with, money stops being a useful transactional tool. So instead you offer favors. Deals. Quid pro quos. Things that involve personal personal involvement rather than money.  Because when you’re that rich, your personal time is your limiting factor.”  — John Scalzi, Lock In

“True friendship has no checks or balances.  Once somebody starts Keeping Score, the game is over.” — Kate McGahan

“… and no man gave you a fur coat without expecting to receive something in return. Except for one’s husband, of course, who expected nothing except modest gratitude.” — Kate Atkinson, A God in Ruins

“Yes, you scratch my back and I scratch yours. But shouldn’t we, one of these evenings, sit down to figure out why our backs are always so itchy in the first place?” — Rajesh’, Random Cosmos

Let’s see if there are any quid pro quos in these recent quid-pro-photos.

I gave compliments to the chef in exchange for last night’s delicious meal.

I’m now going to post a song, from the musical Rent, which I think illustrates quid pro quo.

If you know any similar songs, feel free to share them with us all.

Many thanks to veterans, writers, performers, cooks, cats, and all those who helped me create this quid-pro-quo post, including YOU.