In the training group I attended this weekend, we discussed, enacted, acknowledged, and healed people’s deprivation.
Lest there be a deprivation of definition here, here’s a definition of deprivation:
The deprivation we addressed in the training group “Developing Resilient Group Leadership” was not of the material kind. It was the deprivation of emotional validation, physical contact, and unconditional love. I got to address some personal early deprivation by expressing my feelings and needs safely, by telling people I loved them, and by receiving love back.
Every morning, I get a flash of inspiration about the title and the content of the day’s blog post. Often, that flash of inspiration comes from a photo I took the day before with no flash.
However, today’s flash of inspiration is this:
That is a no-flash photo, taken by my flashily talented ex-husband, Leon Fairbanks, of our son Aaron.
I am now going to flash some definitions of “flash.”
This is how I use Flash in a sentence: Before I started writing this post, I had a Flash of terror (like Kirov) (see above) about Aaron flying on a plane next week to return to Scotland to complete his last semester at the University of Edinburgh.
News flash: Despite all our good intentions about being safe and doing the right things during this no-flash-in-the-pan pandemic, many of us are having flashes of terror.
All my photos today are taken with no flash.
That’s our flashy cat, Harley.
Here’s one of my favorite sing-along songs with flashy vocals: “Harden My Heart” by Quarterflash.
If you flash a comment about this “Flash/No Flash” post, I’ll definitely flash a reply soon.
It’s time for today’s flashy finale: Thanks to my ex-husband Leon, our son Aaron, my second husband Michael, our cat Harley, Quarterflash, all the flashes of light around us, and those who help me flash my thoughts and feelings into the world every day, including YOU!
Over the years, I have heard many people say they are waiting for the other shoe to drop, meaning “to await a seemingly inevitable event, especially one that is not desirable.”
If you’re waiting for more information to drop about “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” here it is:
I know I wrote about waiting for the other shoe to drop before, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally. I’m not going to wait to drop the sole important point of one of those posts, as follows:
Last week, Human Resources at work sent me an email stating that if I had not filed for unemployment benefits (I had not), my identity had been stolen. Because I had heard previously that our work email system might have been hacked, I doubted the identity of the emailer and wrote back “Why should I believe YOU?” The HR person validated my concern and offered to prove her identity by calling me. In that phone call, we established that, indeed, my identity had been stolen.
As I looked into the theft of my identity, I discovered that it had been stolen TWO YEARS AGO. All this time, I’ve been blissfully ignorant of my identity theft, even though part of my identity has been preparing and protecting myself from trouble.
In the past, when I’ve heard that somebody’s identity had been stolen, I’ve reacted with worry, concern, and fear that this might someday happen to me. Now that my identity has been stolen, I am happy to identify that I am still me, doing what needs to be done, surviving it all, and remaining hopeful about the future.
As a matter of fact, my identity theft has seemed so insignificant to me — compared to the attempted theft of the identity of my country — I haven’t mentioned it here on my blog, until now.
Because part of my identity is to define my terms, here’s a definition of identity:
Do you see identity in any of my other recently captured images?
I can’t wait for the day when we stop obsessing about the identity of Donald Trump and focus on much more important identities.
poop noun (1) Definition of poop 1 informal : FECES, EXCREMENT As a brand-new father, a new substance plays a big role in my life: poop. — Scott Kramer As the years go by, there’s trouble in paradise, and it isn’t just the ubiquitous goose poop. — Katherine Lanpher 2 informal : the act of defecating I have a complaint against dog owners that take their dogs for a walk but do not take a bag, then let their dog stop by people’s mailboxes and take a poop. — Billie Johnston
Do you see any poop in my other photos from yesterday?
I wonder how much poop we’ll have to deal with in 2021?!
Today is November 22, a day which usually makes me feel like poop (and you can get the poop on that here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here). I guess I’ve gotten my poop together over the years, because I feel like the opposite of poop today.
Here’s the poop about all the poop songs I found on YouTube: all have comments turned off. However, comments for this poop post are NOT turned off, so — if you’re not too pooped — please share your thoughts and feelings, below.
Thanks to all who help me share the latest poop in this daily blog, including YOU!
1: lack of feeling or emotion : IMPASSIVENESS drug abuse leading to apathy and depression 2: lack of interest or concern : INDIFFERENCE political apathy
How Apathy Differs From Impassivity and Indifference Apathy, impassivity, and indifference all denote a lack of responsiveness to something that might normally excite interest or emotion. Apathy suggests a puzzling or deplorable inertness or lack of passion, as in “the problem of continued voter apathy.” Impassivity stresses the absence of any external sign of emotion in action or facial expression, as in “teachers frustrated by the impassivity of their students.” Indifference connotes a lack of interest in or concern about something, as in “the company’s apparent indifference to the needs of its employees.”
The Greek Origins of Apathy There’s no reason to be uncaring about the origins of apathy—though there is a clue to the word’s beginnings in this sentence. Apathy was borrowed into English in the late 16th century from Greek apatheia, which itself comes from the adjective apathēs, meaning “without feeling.” Apathēs, in turn, was formed by combining the negating prefix a- with pathos, meaning “emotion.” Incidentally, if you’ve guessed that pathos is the source of the identically spelled noun in English (meaning either “an element in experience or in artistic representation evoking pity or compassion” or “an emotion of sympathetic pity”), you are correct. Pathos also gave us such words as antipathy, empathy, sympathy, pathetic, and even the archaic word pathematic (“emotional”).
Here are some quotes about apathy:
“Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their backs on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their behinds.” — Abraham Lincoln
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. the opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.” — Elie Wiesel
“If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.” — Dorothy Parker
“The refusal to take sides on great moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil. The Tragedy of our time is that those who still believe in honesty lack fire and conviction, while those who believe in dishonesty are full of passionate conviction.” — Fulton Sheen
“I’m terrified at the moral apathy, the death of the heart, which is happening in my country. These people have deluded themselves for so long that they really don’t think I’m human. I base this on their conduct, not on what they say. And this means that they have become, in themselves, moral monsters.” — James Baldwin
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don’t know what it is. Well I do. It’s apathy. That’s the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.” — David Wong
“… the opposite of love is not hate — it’s apathy. It’s not giving a damn. If somebody hates me, they must “feel” something … or they couldn’t possibly hate. Therefore, there’s some way in which I can get to them.” — Leo Buscaglia
“Compassion is an unstable emotion. It needs to be translated into action, or it withers. The question of what to do with the feelings that have been aroused, the knowledge that has been communicated. If one feels that there is nothing ‘we’ can do — but who is that ‘we’? — and nothing ‘they’ can do either — and who are ‘they’ — then one starts to get bored, cynical, apathetic.” — Susan Sontag
Do you see apathy in any of today’s images?
I don’t know what I was feeling when I took that selfie five years ago, but I know it wasn’t apathy.
I am filled with the opposite of apathy as I look forward to comments about this “Apathy” post, below.
Non-apathetic thanks to Abraham Lincoln, Elie Wiesel, James Baldwin, Fulton Sheen, Dorothy Parker, David Wong, Leo Buscaglia, Susan Sontag, Dan Rather, people on the front line of this pandemic, Merriam, Webster, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, and everyone else who helps me create these daily posts, including YOU.
Here‘s a definition of “modern” from the modern Merriam-Webster website:
1 a : of, relating to, or characteristic of the present or the immediate past : CONTEMPORARY the modern American family b : of, relating to, or characteristic of a period extending from a relevant remote past to the present time modern history 2 : involving recent techniques, methods, or ideas : UP-TO-DATE modern methods of communication 3 capitalized : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of the present or most recent period of development of a language Modern English 4 : of or relating to modernism : MODERNIST Modern art has abandoned the representation of recognizable objects.
Speaking of recognizable objects, do you see anything that represents “modern” in these modern images, as I try to stay sane during these modern times?
Because I am the model of a very modern group therapist, I used that magic wand in my Coping and Healing group yesterday, so we could make modern wishes for our modern times.
BFD, according to dictionary.com, means one thing AND its opposite, which I think is a BFD.
This reminds me of a BFD saying I came up with years ago — we are neither as important or as unimportant as we fear.
Are any of these recent photos a BFD?
Around here, it’s a BFD when my husband Michael lets me take a picture of him and share it in my blog. We both got haircuts yesterday, which is a BFD during the BF pandemic. Also, the macaroni and cheese Michael made yesterday was a BFD.
The upcoming U.S. Presidential election is a BFD, and if my candidates win, I’m also going to win cookies and somebody else’s macaroni and cheese. To me, macaroni and cheese is ALWAYS a BFD.
1: the seat of life or intelligence : SOUL “give up the ghost” 2: a disembodied soul especially : the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness 3: SPIRIT, DEMON 4a: a faint shadowy trace a ghost of a smile b: the least bit “not a ghost of a chance” 5: a false image in a photographic negative or on a television screen caused especially by reflection 6: one who ghostwrites 7: a red blood cell that has lost its hemoglobin
These days, it’s looking like the current U.S. President does not have a ghost of a chance to get a second term. Those of us who almost gave up the ghost four years ago when he WAS elected — despite polls saying he had not a ghost of a chance back then — are barely showing ghosts of smiles about the possible outcome.
I know that some of his supporters might call me a snowflake, but I have felt haunted since November, 2016, inhabiting this world like a ghost of my former self. When I look at the posts I’ve written since then, I see faint shadowy traces of the spirit I had before. However, it’s never been so bad that I’ve considered getting a ghostwriter for this blog.
Also, many of us feel haunted by ghosts that others just do not see.
What ghosts do you see in my photos from yesterday?
Among others, I see the ghosts of Oscar the cat, the people who have been killed by gun violence, trust in our leaders, and the normalcy of our lives before the pandemic.
Also, that last photo shows the ghost of a blog post I considered writing for today — “Day 2881: Grains of salt.” There are many ghosts of posts never written in my draft folder and in my mind, but those don’t haunt me, perhaps because so many posts have seen the light of day.