Day 3187: Throwing out what no longer fits

Today’s Daily Bitch Calendar is about throwing out what no longer fits.

We all have things that no longer fit — unhelpful thoughts, toxic people, harsh self judgment, second guessing, crippling fears about the future, regrets about the past, hopelessness, body shame, etc. — and wouldn’t it be great to throw those out?

At the end of every therapy group, I invite people to throw out what no longer fits them in a “magic” waste paper basket, which either holds or reduces the power of whatever they throw away. Over the years, people have thrown away a ton of trash in these magic waste paper baskets.

Because all my groups are remote these days, here’s the “home version” of the magic waste paper basket:

Next to the magic waste paper basket is the magic hat, an addition recently suggested by a group member. Out of the magic hat, people can pull whatever they want, like self love, courage, acceptance, strength, and hope.

Do you see anything that fits the magic waste paper basket or the magic hat in my other images for today?

Yesterday, I threw my rough day into the magic waste paper basket and it fit in there just fine.

This is the first thing that comes up on YouTube when I search for “throwing away what doesn’t fit”:

This is the second thing:

What do you need to throw away that doesn’t fit?

Gratitude always fits, so thanks to all who help me create these daily blog posts, including YOU.

Day 3153: Waiting for the next thought

Waiting for the next thought is a technique for entering the present moment, as described in a video I posted here earlier this week:

Yesterday, I used that for the mindfulness exercise in a Coping and Healing group. I told the group members to leave behind overthinking about the future and the past by asking themselves “What will my next thought be?”

Personally, I found this to be a very effective way to quiet my busy mind. The anticipation, curiosity, and wonder about the next thought focused me and emptied my mind in a way I had never experienced before.

Are you waiting for my next images?

Waiting for your next thought? My next thought is to share “Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s 9th.

I’m waiting for the next time when we can gather together in large groups like that without fear. My next thought is this: that time will come, we just don’t know how long we have to wait.

I’ll be waiting for the next comments on this blog post.

Waiting for my next expression of gratitude?

Day 3147: Superstitious

Not that I’m superstitious, but sometimes I think it’s tempting fate to leave out a definition at the beginning of a blog post.

I actually don’t know how superstitious I am, even though I asked that question on Twitter last night.

I grew up in a family where it was considered bad luck to say anything positive about one’s situation — that attracted the evil eye. I rebelled against that pretty early on and this was a typical conversation when I was young:

Me: This is going to turn out great!

My mother: Don’t give a kanahora.

Me: That’s not the way it works, you know. What I say doesn’t affect the outcome.

And yes — what I said didn’t affect the outcome there. My mother, who was otherwise extremely logical and sensible, still felt compelled to say “don’t give a kanahora” when I said something too positive about the future.

I think most of us have little, automatic superstitions like that. I often witness people knocking on wood, talking about jinxing things, etc. This week in a therapy group, somebody expressed the fear that when things got too good, something bad was bound to happen.

I’m crossing my fingers that we all have a safe and happy Friday the 13th and that you enjoy my other images for today.

In honor of International Left Handers Day, this lefty is going to share a favorite song with you:

I am super grateful for every day and, also, for YOU!

Day 3127: Growing old

Last week in one of my Coping and Healing groups, the older people told the younger people that growing old was not as scary as they feared. The older people talked about the benefits of growing old, which seemed to surprise the younger members of the group.

There are so many negative messages out there about growing old. Let’s see if we can balance those, here and now, with some quotes and images.

Speaking of ending the conversation, let’s see what the Daily Bitch has to say about growing old today.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “growing old.”

What are your thoughts and feelings about growing old?

I am grateful to be growing old and I’m grateful for those who are growing older with me, including YOU.

Day 3119: What is your earliest memory?

Last night, I asked the question “What is your earliest memory?” in my Coping and Healing group. People said they found that very helpful. So, after the group, I asked the same question on Twitter.

My earliest memory is from before I was walking. I was outdoors and my sister was lying on the ground next to me. I remember wondering: “Why is she doing that? She can walk!” That memory stayed with me because my parents were posing us for a photo, and I kept seeing the photo of the two of us in the family album.

Even back then, I was asking questions.

Here are some of my not-so-early memories, captured in photos:

The Daily Bitch is very memorable.

One of my earliest memories of music is of my father listening — on a very old radio — to “Witchcraft” sung by Frank Sinatra.

Now I’m asking you: What is your earliest memory?

Thanks to all who have memories and to those who ask questions and answer them, including YOU!

Day 3106: Hugs

Hugs to all my readers!

It’s so wonderful to be experiencing in-person hugs with friends after all those months of virtual hugs (which have also been life-sustaining).

Are you getting enough hugs these days? Let’s see if there are any hugs in my images for today.

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When I was a kid, every time Norma Tanega’s “Walkin’ My Cat Named Dog” came on the radio, it felt like a virtual hug to me.

Now I’m giving a virtual hug to the late Norma Tanega for all the joy she gave me and others.

Who would you like to hug, here and now?

Hugs and thanks to all who help me experience virtual hugs through this blog every day, including YOU!

Day 3098: Are you even living?

Today’s title is inspired by the current page that is living on my Daily Bitch Calendar:

The church might have killed me 400 years ago, but I am definitely living, here and now, as I hope you can see in my other images for today.

Here are the lyrics I quoted while I was even living yesterday:

I believe in you and in myself as we continue to be even living in this world.

Are you even considering leaving a comment about this are-you-even-living blog post?

I know I’m even living when I experience gratitude for what I have, so thanks to all who are even visiting this post, here and now.

Day 3048: Too much

Yesterday, people in my Coping and Healing group said they were dealing with too much.

There was too much

• physical pain,
• emotional pain,
• stress,
• anxiety,
• uncertainty,
• loss,
• conflict,
• pressure,
• frustration,
• disappointment, and
• worry.

It didn’t take too much time for people in the group to understand, connect, and support each other.

People talked about death, a topic some find too much to take on. The person who had used the term “too much” early in the group asked the group this question: “How would you choose to die?” While a few people found that question too much to answer, several people said they would choose to die in their sleep. Because I have too much fear of heights, I wondered if my choice were to be leaping off a tremendous height, soaring all the way down, that might ease my acrophobia.

Sometimes I think I’m too much.

Let’s see if there’s too much in my photos today.

Because Jet Blue charges too much to check a bag, I’m not taking too much with me to Nashville.

Here’s “Too Much” by Marshmello x Imanbek featuring Usher.

Here’s “Too Much” from The Spice Girls:

Don’t worry about sharing too much in a comment, below.

There can never be too much gratitude, so thanks to all for visiting my blog today!

Day 3047: Worst feelings

Yesterday in my therapy group, people shared worst feelings, including disappointment in oneself and disappointment in others. At the end of the group, members said that sharing those feelings and realizing they were not alone helped them feel better.

Do you see worst feelings, best feelings, and in-between feelings in today’s images?

Are you the master of your feelings, besides being the master of your judgments, decisions, and actions? Do you let ALL feelings flow through you, without judgment?

Speaking of feelings, here is the saddest song I’ve ever heard:

As I like to say in my group, all feelings are welcome.

One of the best feelings is gratitude, so thanks to all who visit this blog, including YOU.

Day 3043: Whatever doesn’t kill me

Who said “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”?

It didn’t kill me to discover that it was Friedrich Nietzsche.

It didn’t kill me to finally spell “Friedrich Nietzsche” right in that previous paragraph.

Here are others things that didn’t kill me:

• being born with a rare heart condition,
• spending lots of time in the hospital when I was kid,
• ridiculous hospital rules which prevented my parents from staying with me,
• a few awful nurses and doctors,
• medicine that made me sick,
• many surgeries,
• relying on cardiac pacemakers since age 10,
• the assassinations during the 60’s,
• bullies at school,
• mean or incompetent teachers,
• bad leaders,
• bad weather,
• bad food,
• choking on a piece of hard candy I accidentally swallowed while laughing,
• car accidents,
• scary plane trips,
• scary movies,
• scary people, including a rapist,
• jobs that didn’t fit my skills or interests,
• walking across a frozen river,
• my mistakes,
• other people’s mistakes,
• traveling by myself,
• not being able to swim,
• three bouts of endocarditis because of a leaky heart valve,
• valve replacement surgery,
• public speaking,
• public singing,
• mountains,
• valleys,
• depression,
• anxiety,
• PTSD,
• suicidal thoughts,
• rejection,
• disrespect,
• sexism,
• anti-Semitism,
• ageism,
• COVID-19, and
• everything and everybody else I’ve encountered in my long life, including what you see in today’s images.

The Daily Bitch Calendar kills me (in a good way).

Here’s Finger Eleven with “Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me”:

It doesn’t kill me to express gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create these daily posts, including YOU!