Day 1906: We fear what we can’t control

I fear I can’t control the news, which included this headline this morning:

We Fear What We Can’t Control About Uber and Facebook

Do you agree that we fear what we can’t control about technology and other aspects of our lives?

If we fear what we can’t control, we must be afraid a lot of the time.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, people expressed fear, anxiety, and depression about things they could not control.  When people offered each other support, I temporarily took control and suggested that members write down and send messages to each other in the group.

Earlier in the day, I took  control of a staff meeting and sang a song about my therapy groups.

You can’t control how I share photos on this blog.

We can’t control that those are actual diagnosis codes doctors can use about their patients.  Do you fear being bitten by a cow, pecked by a chicken, etc.?

I can’t control what comments you leave but I have no fear about that.

Thanks to all who helped me control today’s blog post and — of course! — to YOU, no matter what you control or fear.

Day 1887: Chaos

About six months ago (but who’s counting?), I published a blog post with the same title as this one.   At the risk of somehow spreading the chaos in today’s news, I want to quote how chaos came up in my group therapy presentation yesterday. This happened in the question and answer period after I described how my open-access groups work in a primary care practice in a renowned teaching hospital in Boston.

Audience member: Ann, I am assuming you are comfortable with chaos. How do you deal with it in your groups, which people can attend as they choose?

Me: When you give people access to the behavioral health care they need, there is less chaos than you might expect.

I actually do not experience chaos in my therapy groups, but I do experience more of it, these days,  in the world outside my groups. As I said in my presentation yesterday, I believe people need the support of therapy groups even more in today’s chaotic world.

What do you see in the chaos of today’s pictures?

Even in all this chaos, I’ve got video. Somebody else on my discussion panel yesterday (Moving Forward: Opportunities for Group in the New Health Care Environment) showed a video like this:

I’ve also got video of some music to help deal with chaos:

I look forward to the chaos of your comments.

Chaotic thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1886: just relax

Today I’m giving a presentation about my therapy groups at a national group therapy conference.  Even though I’m telling myself to “just relax,”  I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping because of rotator cuff pain and pre-presentation jitters.

This photo I took yesterday might help:

Also, I’ve decided to help my audience just relax today by starting out my presentation with the mindfulness exercise I always do when somebody is new to my groups.  I tell people to focus on their breath, breathing in something they think might be helpful (like gratitude) and breathing out something that is not serving them well (like anxiety or distraction). When I thought of starting my presentation that way, I just relaxed.

Do any of my other recent photos help you to just relax?

This YouTube video is titled “Just Relax.”

That didn’t help me just relax. How about you? How do you just relax?

I am going to just relax and express my gratitude to all who helped me create today’s blog post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1880: What makes this a safe place?

What makes this a safe place?  What makes any place safe?

I ask those questions because without a safe place, it’s difficult to be in the moment, trust, learn, and grow.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, the members discussed many issues, including safe places.

Then people expressed thoughts and feelings about personal safe places.

 

In the safe place of the group room, I asked myself those two questions  — What makes this a safe place?  How can I express that in 20 minutes? — because I’ll be presenting about my groups next week in the safe place of a group therapy conference in Houston.

I hope this is a safe place for you to describe what makes a place safe for you.

In the news, people are discussing whether guns make a place safe.

Parents and children are challenging politicians to make the United States a safer place.

Gratitude helps make this a safe place, so many thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 1784: Judging You

One of the interns at work —  who knows I write a blog about letting go of judgment and who I hope is not judging me about that —  showed me this last week:

Are you judging those “judging you” socks?

When I talk to people about joining my “Coping and Healing”  groups, I sometimes say

Judging is something we humans do.   I won’t be judging you about that. Please pay attention to harsh self-judgment and try judging you less.

Right now, I’m judging you, Michael, for not emailing  me those photos for today’s blog, which included cupcakes that looked like dogs.  I’m letting go of judging you, Michael, and I’m also letting go of judging me for not taking my phone with me yesterday when we visited a craft show benefiting a local animal shelter.

Don’t judge me for finding this video when I searched for “Judging You” on YouTube:

 

While cats may be judging you, I’m still thankful for cats, for Michael, for Vivian the intern, and for this one photo I took yesterday evening.

 

Day 1740: Get Out

Get out!  I can’t believe that all my recent photos relate to the phrase “Get Out.”

 

 

Those last two photos came out of a therapy group where people with histories of emotionally abusive relationships were brainstorming  how to get out  of old patterns and improve their lives.

What does “Get Out” mean to you?

You can get out to YouTube to hear “Get Out” by Lauryn Hill:

Now I need to get out to work and then get out to a performance of the musical Evita.

Did you think I’d forget to thank all the people who helped me create this post and you — of course! —  for reading it?  Get out!

 

Day 1738: Sharing dreams

Yesterday, I was asked to facilitate a group for staff, in addition to my usual Tuesday “Coping and Healing” group.  As usual, I was honored to provide a safe-enough space for people to express themselves and to connect with others in a healing way.

In both of the groups, people discussed the tragic events in the news. In one of the groups, the members decided to share and comment on each other’s recent dreams.  Whenever I work with dreams in a group, I encourage people to respond to other people’s dreams  with “If it were my dream, it might mean ….”  People’s dreams included sacrifice, animals, losing a baby, wandering in an enormous house, being chased, and communicating with dead relatives.  I mentioned that I’d recently dreamed that I was friends with Stephen Colbert.

If it were your dream, what might those dreams mean to you? What dreams have you been having lately?

I snapped only four photos yesterday, two consciously and the other two unconsciously.

During dark times, try sharing your dreams.

Somebody is sharing dreams on YouTube:

 

Many thanks to you for sharing these dreams with me, here and now.

 

Day 1629: What helps and what doesn’t help

When I help people join my therapy groups, I tell them we will work on doing more of what helps and less of what doesn’t help. I help people understand that by saying, “What helps and what doesn’t help  might include thoughts, behaviors,  and other people.”  Because it helps to change old habits by writing things down, I helpfully suggest they keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help them.

Because it helps to know you’re not alone, I explain that I also keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help me.

What helps me?

• Acceptance.
• Love.
• Creativity.
• Flexibility.
• Peace.
• Connection.
• Nature.
• Forgiveness.
• Blogging.
• My work.
• Family.
• Friends.
• Groups.
• Mutual healing.
• Curiosity.
• Openness.
• Authenticity.
• Music.

 

What doesn’t help me?

• Worry.
• Shame.
• Guilt.
• Regret.
• Harsh criticism.
• Cognitive distortions.
• Perfectionism.
• Telling myself I should have known better.

Does it help to look at these photos?

What also helps me is gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1565: Renewal

Last night, in my “Coping and Healing” therapy group, somebody suggested we focus on  the topic of “Renewal.”

I asked, “What helps give you a sense of renewal?”  The answers included:

• Spring
• Gardens
• Trees
• Being near large bodies of water
• Nature
• Animals
• Group
• Travel
• Friends
• Showers
• Good books
• Good films
• The movie Arrival
• Running
• Good memories
• Being in the moment
• Sleep
• Dogs
• Cats
• Taking action
• Humor
• Art
• Telling stories
• Listening to other people’s stories
• Mindfulness
• Church
• Prayers
• Music

Speaking of music, here‘s the first thing that comes up on YouTube for “renewal”:

What renews you?

I didn’t mention “blogging” last night at the group, but this blog gives me renewal, every day.

Do you see renewal in any of my other photos from yesterday?

Did you know that comments from my readers are another personal source of renewal?

Every day, I renew my gratitude for all who help me create this daily blog and — of course! — for you.

Day 1173: Feeling lucky?

Feeling lucky?

I’m feeling lucky.

I feel lucky that, every day, I find lucky inspirations for my lucky blog posts, like this lucky sign I saw early yesterday on a lucky Saint Patrick’s Day morning:

Even though I didn’t win a prize from any pots of gold, I feel lucky that:

• I’ve got a lucky number of consistent and kind readers here at lucky WordPress.
• I do group and individual therapy at a luckily large and well-known teaching hospital in lucky Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
• My lucky 18 year old son, Aaron, is luckily healthy, happy, and wise.
• My lucky boyfriend Michael is lucky enough to have met lucky me.
• I’m seeing my lucky cardiologist, Dr. Mark Estes, today, who luckily knows more about pacemakers than almost anybody else in this lucky world of ours.
• Today is Friday, which makes a lot of working people feel lucky.

On lucky Thursdays, I am lucky enough to facilitate two therapy groups. Here are all the other photos I was lucky enough to capture yesterday, in lucky chronological order:

 

While I didn’t order Lucky Hydrox yesterday, I was still lucky enough to

sing from my heart, as I was walking to and from my lucky workplace.

Here’s one lucky song I was lucky enough to be singing, yesterday, with all my heart:

When I sang “Soothe” on my tryout for The Voice  last month, I wasn’t lucky enough to make it to the show. However, next month I’ll be lucky enough to sing “Soothe” for my fellow social workers at our lucky yearly party.

Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see and hear a recording of me singing it, here.

I hope I’m lucky enough to get lots of lucky comments today.

Lucky thanks to all my lucky readers!