Last week in one of my Coping and Healing groups, the older people told the younger people that growing old was not as scary as they feared. The older people talked about the benefits of growing old, which seemed to surprise the younger members of the group.
There are so many negative messages out there about growing old. Let’s see if we can balance those, here and now, with some quotes and images.
Speaking of ending the conversation, let’s see what the Daily Bitch has to say about growing old today.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “growing old.”
What are your thoughts and feelings about growing old?
I am grateful to be growing old and I’m grateful for those who are growing older with me, including YOU.
Last night, I asked the question “What is your earliest memory?” in my Coping and Healing group. People said they found that very helpful. So, after the group, I asked the same question on Twitter.
My earliest memory is from before I was walking. I was outdoors and my sister was lying on the ground next to me. I remember wondering: “Why is she doing that? She can walk!” That memory stayed with me because my parents were posing us for a photo, and I kept seeing the photo of the two of us in the family album.
Even back then, I was asking questions.
Here are some of my not-so-early memories, captured in photos:
The Daily Bitch is very memorable.
One of my earliest memories of music is of my father listening — on a very old radio — to “Witchcraft” sung by Frank Sinatra.
Now I’m asking you: What is your earliest memory?
Thanks to all who have memories and to those who ask questions and answer them, including YOU!
Yesterday, people in my Coping and Healing group said they were dealing with too much.
There was too much
physical pain,
emotional pain,
stress,
anxiety,
uncertainty,
loss,
conflict,
pressure,
frustration,
disappointment, and
worry.
It didn’t take too much time for people in the group to understand, connect, and support each other.
People talked about death, a topic some find too much to take on. The person who had used the term “too much” early in the group asked the group this question: “How would you choose to die?” While a few people found that question too much to answer, several people said they would choose to die in their sleep. Because I have too much fear of heights, I wondered if my choice were to be leaping off a tremendous height, soaring all the way down, that might ease my acrophobia.
Sometimes I think I’m too much.
Let’s see if there’s too much in my photos today.
Because Jet Blue charges too much to check a bag, I’m not taking too much with me to Nashville.
Yesterday in my therapy group, people shared worst feelings, including disappointment in oneself and disappointment in others. At the end of the group, members said that sharing those feelings and realizing they were not alone helped them feel better.
Do you see worst feelings, best feelings, and in-between feelings in today’s images?
Are you the master of your feelings, besides being the master of your judgments, decisions, and actions? Do you let ALL feelings flow through you, without judgment?
Speaking of feelings, here is the saddest song I’ve ever heard:
As I like to say in my group, all feelings are welcome.
One of the best feelings is gratitude, so thanks to all who visit this blog, including YOU.
Why am I posting a photo of our late great cat Oscar today?Why did I order a book about Nashville?Why am I sometimes not wearing a mask outdoors?Why is there a mound of dirt in front of the local church?Why do I like taking pictures of animals wherever I go?Why did somebody hang an American flag and make it more difficult for people to get in their front door?Why do some vaccination locations in Boston give out cool buttons while others don’t?Why am I lucky enough to have a now-vaccinated husband who makes delicious meals like sablefish with figs?Why do I often take photos of Yogi tea sayings?Why do I love the Daily Bitch Calendar?Why does Harley love his favorite dry cat food, scorning EVERYTHING else except for popcorn?
Why am I engaging on Twitter these days?
Why did the late, great Professor Irwin Corey break down “Why” questions into two parts, where the first part was just “Why?” (which he could not really answer) and the second part was the rest of the question, which he simply answered “YES!”?
Let’s see how that works for today’s post, shall we?
The first part of all the questions I’ve asked today is Why?” “Why?” is a question that philosophers have been asking for millenniums. We all want to make meaning of what happens to us, and therefore we cry “Why?” from our souls into the world. “Why?” is ultimately unanswerable, especially by a humble person like me.
Now for the second parts of my “Why?” questions today:
Is “Why?” the title of my blog post today?
Do people ask “Why?” in my Coping and Healing groups?
Do songs pop into my head so easily?
Are those songs often Beatles songs?
Did I take all of these photos?
Am I posting a photo of our late great cat Oscar today?
Did I order a book about Nashville?
Am I sometimes not wearing a mask outdoors?
Is there a mound of dirt in front of the local church?
Do I like taking pictures of animals wherever I go?
Did somebody hang an American flag and make it more difficult for people to get in their front door?
Do some vaccination locations in Boston give out cool buttons while others don’t?
Am lucky enough to have a now-vaccinated husband who makes delicious meals like sablefish with figs?
Do I often take photos of Yogi tea sayings?
Do I love the Daily Bitch Calendar?
Does Harley love his favorite dry cat food, scorning EVERYTHING else except for popcorn?
Am I engaging on Twitter these days?
Did the late, great Professor Irwin Corey break down “Why” questions into two parts, where the first part was just “Why?” (which he could not really answer) and the second part was the rest of the question, which he simply answered “YES!”?
The answer to all those questions is “YES!”
Why do I ask for comments and express gratitude at the end of my blog posts?
People in my Coping and Healing groups yesterday focused on other people’s behaviors. These other people
ignore pandemic safety precautions like wearing masks and social distancing,
act like children,
violate requested limits and boundaries, and
were group members’ PARENTS.
When people talk to other people about other people’s behaviors in a support group, they realize they are not alone.
Other people’s behaviors are on my mind this morning, and I’m remembering something somebody said in group last night:
You can’t control other people’s behaviors; you can only control your reactions to them.
My Coping and Healing group, April 22, 2021
Can you see other people’s behaviors in any of today’s photos?
Harley, as he gets older, is less reactive to and scared of other people’s behaviors. Maybe he realizes he can only control his own behavior and that’s enough.
When I search YouTube for “other people’s behaviors,” I find this:
I very much appreciate Louise Evans’s behaviors in that 2017 Ted Talk, and I recommend that other people’s behaviors today include watching it whenever you can.
My behavior at the end of every post is to thank everyone whose behaviors help me create this daily blog, including YOU.
Last week, in a Coping and Healing group, I did a mindfulness exercise where I invited people to go to a calm place — remembered, imagined, or where they actually were in the moment. Most of the calm places involved water.
My calm place was exactly where I was: my son’s old room, in front of a computer screen filled with group members. Using mindfulness — focusing on your breath and doing your best to be in the moment, accepting all your thoughts and constantly redirecting your attention to the here and now, letting go of judgment — your calm place can be exactly where you are.
I’m in my calm place here and now, creating this blog post for you and me. Do you see calm places in today’s images?
I’m in my calm place whenever I’m watching British competition shows like “The Great British Bake Off” and “The Great Pottery Throw Down”. Those shows, despite the constant possibility of disastrous results for the contestants, are so much more calming than American competition shows.
Here‘s what I find when I search YouTube for “your calm place.”
It’s challenging to get to your calm place when there is so much to be vigilant about, these days. Please help make this blog a calm place by leaving a comment about your calm place, below.
Gratitude helps make every place a calm place, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blogging place, including YOU.
