It is my nature to nurture understanding and clarity, so I shall now use the nurturing capabilities of the internet to explain “nature vs. nurture.”
mchscityzen.com
One of the oldest arguments in the history of psychology is the Nature vs Nurture debate. Each of these sides have good points that it’s really hard to decide whether a person’s development is predisposed in his DNA, or a majority of it is influenced by this life experiences and his environment.
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As nature shows its beauty in Boston this weekend, I am nurturing many thoughts about nature vs nurture, today, because yesterday …
I went to a large Passover seder where people talked about their passions, their pasts, and how nurturing elements in their lives have allowed them to overcome unhelpful aspects of their natures.
My boyfriend Michael and I had a conversation where he said, “I seem to be genetically disposed to not make money” and I said “I seem to be genetically disposed to not become famous.”
It seems natural, at this point, to express my hope that this post is nurturing you to comment about any thoughts, feeling, or experiences you might have about nature vs. nurture.
Nurturing readers probably know it’s my nature to take photos intuitively and then share them in this daily blog.
If your nature is to ask questions about anything in this post, my nature is to nurture that natural curiosity.
Because my nature loves the natural beauty of spring, I shall nurture that love of nature by appreciating the beautiful weather outside today.
Before I do, here‘s a nurturing, natural musical interpretation of the nature of New England spring, by the late Dan Gibson:
Natural and nurturing thanks to all who helped me create this post and — naturally! — special thanks to you for visiting, here and now.
Yesterday, in therapy, there was a lot of talk about balls, including:
You’ve had that ball for too long.
You’ve been holding that ball for over a year. It gets really heavy, doesn’t it?
You’ve got too many balls in the air at the same time.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t juggle more than three balls at the same time.
Throw that ball to somebody else.
Put the ball in somebody else’s court, as soon as possible.
Put down the ball!
Those balls weren’t actual balls. They were metaphorical balls of
guilt,
shame,
self-judgment,
responsibility, and
worry.
I also drew two things on my white board, yesterday, that looked like balls:
Those aren’t actual balls, either. The first one is a pill somebody wanted to take, whenever necessary. The second one is a button somebody else wanted to wear.
I could ask what associations you have with “balls,” but I don’t have the balls to do that.
It takes balls to write and share poetry, as several people did in a therapy group last night. Here’s the poem I wrote:
Absence of Pain
I always thought that if
I wrote a book
It might be called
“Absence of Pain.”
Pain is something that can
overwhelm.
It is all around us and
within us too.
But absence of pain is as
real
even if we don’t notice it.
How to describe the absence
of anything
including absence of pain?
It’s a precious thing
always there
if not in the present moment
then as a memory
of the past
or a hope for the
future.
What helps sustain it?
Color
Art
Acceptance
Self care
The serenity prayer
Nature
Allies human and non-human
Connection
Love
Absence of worry, shame, guilt, and judgment
Belief
Warmth
Food
Water
The Ocean
Rest
Peace
Synchronicity
Applause
Nourishment
Group
I got a round of applause for writing and reading a poem, as did everybody else in the group.
Do you see any balls in the rest of the photos I took yesterday?
It’s all good that yesterday’s birthday was my fourth birthday since I went all in for this all good daily blog on January 1, 2013. It’s all good that all my good readers can read all about all those birthdays here, here, here, and here.
It’s all good that yesterday I thought and said, several times
This may be my best birthday ever!
It’s all good that I felt, thought, and said that sincerely yesterday, despite not all good things going as planned for my all-good birthday. For example, my all good vocal coach had to postpone our good plans to record me singing another all good audition song for the all good TV show, “The Voice.” Also, all good me was a good ten minutes late for my good appointment with an all good tax preparer. And, I got temporarily locked out of my all-good new office in Newton. But, it was all good.
It’s all good that I made this all good promise to myself, on the all good day I turned an all good 63 years old:
From now on, if things don’t go as planned, I will judge neither myself nor anybody else!
That’s going to make all good things better, don’t you think?
It’s all good that I took all these good photographs yesterday. Which all good photo do you think is the best?
It’s all good that I get to share all good things with all my good readers.
All good thanks to all good people who helped me celebrate my birthday yesterday, including my great son Aaron and my great boyfriend Michael. And all good gratitude to you — of course! — for reading all good things I share, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally.
Terry, a co-worker of mine, has The Daily Bitch calendar. That calendar has shown up in this blog before, but I’m too much of a b*tch to spend time, right now, looking for those previous posts.
Yesterday, Terry showed me the daily batch of The Daily Bitch:
One of those Daily Bitches made this b*tch laugh out loud. Which one, from that bitching batch, is your favorite?
Some more b*tchy thoughts from me, your daily blogging bitch:
At a meeting last week, I was a b*tch to somebody who said something I experienced as intrusive, ill-timed, and sexist.
I’m fine that I am what I am and that I bitched what I bitched to that person.
Like the daily bitch cartoon, above, we agreed to disagree and we resolved the conflict before the bitching hour of the meeting’s end.
Why is it — this bitch wonders — that an angry woman is called a “bitch,” daily, but an angry man is just called “angry”?
I don’t like my recent haircut, so I’m going to b*tch about that to my fabulous haircutter, Mia.
Mia has given me such a wonderful batch of haircuts over the years and is so much NOT a b*tch, I’m sure she’ll help me feel less b*tchy about my hair, very soon.
For you bitches who were wondering about this, nobody bitched about my presentation yesterday — everybody there seemed to love it.
As you can see from the first photo this bitch took yesterday, many people in this bitching country have something to b*tch about:
That Storm Jonas sure is a bitch of a blizzard, threatening 29 million b*tches. By the way, this bitch is glad that storms are now named after female bitches and male bastards (like Jonas), as opposed to just getting bitch names, the way it was when I was a little bitch.
This older b*tch is hoping for a big batch of bitchy comments from her bitchy readers.
And, I don’t meant to be such a bitch, but WordPress is being such a bitch as I’m writing this bitchy post that it won’t let me use more than one asterisk in a paragraph without becoming totally b*tchy.
What do you have to bitch about in your life today, my b*tches?
B*tchin’ thanks to Terry and everybody else that helped me create this bitching post. Thanks to you — of course! — no matter what you have to bitch about, here and now.
My imperfect memory is definitely a barrier to including all the barriers discussed during that interesting group session. I do remember one of the group members recommending this, as a way to break barriers:
Just jump!
As you’re reading this post about breaking barriers, what are the barriers in your life? How might you begin breaking them?
Am I breaking barriers with any photos I took yesterday?
Any barriers to believing that all they sell there is the greatest feeling on earth, during those hours?
Please, just jump into the conversation below, breaking any barriers along the way.
Thanks to all those who break barriers as best they can and to you — of course! — no matter what barriers you’ve broken to be here, now.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 