Posts Tagged With: performance anxiety

Day 1141: What do I look and sound like when …?

What do I look and sound like when there’s less than one week before I go to an Open Audition for “The Voice” in Philadelphia?

What do I look and sound like when I’m going up and down between insecurity and confidence?

What do I look and sound like when I’m having trouble getting enough sleep?

What do I look and sound like when I am ….

  • down to earth?

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  • blatant?

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  • stupid?

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  • drunk (even though I don’t drink alcohol)?

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  • filled with resolve?

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  • doing the math?

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  • cold?

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  • fun to know and easy to love?

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  • and, most importantly, singing?

What do I look and sound like when you comment on my blog?

Happy.

I’m looking and sounding grateful, here and now, as I finish this post.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , | 36 Comments

Day 862: Don’t know why

Don’t know why:

  • I spend any time at all worrying about the future, because life is too short for worry AND I work so hard at inviting other people to let go of worry.
  • I’ve stayed in the Boston area for my entire 62-year life, despite my discomfort with the snowy, cold, and way-too-long winters.

  • I forgot to bring my Identification and access card with me to work yesterday,  on my first day back after corrective surgery for my very unusual heart.

  • Sometimes, people express gratitude easily and, at other times, it’s a struggle to find the words.

  • Tulips are so beautiful, but last for such a short amount of time.

  •  I never noticed — until my friend Peggy pointed this out to me last week — that some pansies have faces and others don’t.

  •  I see faces in many other places.

  •  People seem so interested in actual sizes.

  

  • I made the decision, last night, to distract myself from worry about the 3-hour presentation I’m giving on my psychotherapy groups on  June 6  by signing up to audition on June 9 for a local production of Stephen Sondheim’s Follies, even though I haven’t tried out for a musical in over 30 years.  
  • I keep doing things that scare the living daylights out of me (except it sure does make life a whole lot more interesting).
  • Trash day around here reminds me of what I’d like to permanently throw away, including fears, past hurts,  disappointments, regrets,  worries, shame, and other things that do not serve me well. 

  

  • These trees need this kind of protection.

 

Do know why I want to thank Pat Metheny, Stephen Sondheim, Peggy, flowers, trees, and you, today: for making my life better.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Day 331: Preparation

Yesterday, I bravely (if I do say so myself) volunteered to give another presentation about my therapy groups.

Unexpectedly, the presentation will be a week from today.

I’m glad it’s only a week away.  Less time to prepare, less pressure for me.

Now, I have to prepare for the presentation.  

Except I really don’t have to prepare.  It’s a topic I know enough about, for sure.

I know more than my audience knows.*

As a matter of fact, I know a lot more than that.   How could I not?  I do the groups four times, every week.  Also, they are my passion.

I’m sure I will have enough to say about them.

So really, what do I need to prepare?

Nothing. I just need to show up, with a prop or two.

In the past, there’s another way I have prepared for presentations. I’ve worried about them. I’ve imagined a negative outcome. In other words,  I’ve had cognitive distortions about:

  • What could go wrong.
  • People thinking I suck.

Hmmm. That about covers it.

I think I can forego that aspect of the preparation, this time.

What data do I have to support letting go of worry — doing it differently — this time?

I have good data for that. That is, every other time I’ve done a presentation this year about the same topic, it has gone very well.

Actually, I’ve rocked.**

So there’s no reason to expect that I will do anything except rock, this time.

I mean, I’m sure that my critical voice could come up with lots of arguments for why THIS TIME will be different. For example ….

This is a different audience. You haven’t done a presentation for several months.  The past is not necessarily a predictor of the future. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

This is what I would like to say to my critical voice this morning:

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Just to make sure my critical voice hears that, here’s a hundred more (viewer discretion advised):

I think that should hold my critical voice, for the week until my presentation.

So here’s a prescription —  an antidote — for myself, this morning:

Rx:  For one week, administer “Shut Ups”, PRN***.

Before I end this post, I want to write about preparing for one more thing:

Thanksgivukkah.

I just looked for a definition of “Thanksgivukkah” on-line, and this is what I found, from livescience.com.

It’s a once in more than 70,000-year event: The first day of Hanukkah this year coincides with Thanksgiving.

As I wrote in an e-mail to my cousin Lani, a while ago:

I’m not sure what we are doing for Thanksgivukkuh.  Trying not to feel the pressure of 70,000 years.

That concludes today’s blog post, my dear readers.

Thanks to my family,  The Moderate Voice and mewlists.com (for the “Shut Ups!”), to preparers and thanks-givers everywhere, and to you — of course! — for reading today.

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* Years ago, my sister told me that helpful definition of a good-enough teacher.

** I’ve already linked to this same post about bragging, but what the hell.

** Pro Re Nata (Latin), meaning “take whenever needed.”

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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