Day 3368: Fools

Today is April Fool’s Day, so let’s start out with a definition of “fool.”

If I were at a restaurant and somebody said “that damn fool waiter” to me, I would get away from that person as soon as I could, and I’m not fooling.

That reminds me of the time when I was waiting at my favorite restaurant to meet a guy from a dating site for the first time who had a very prestigious job, and he was late. The waiter kept refilling my water and when I started to feel like a fool I let the waiter know what was going on. When the guy finally showed up, I wasn’t fooled by him — he seemed insensitive, entitled, and humorless — and after a few minutes I said, “Look, I don’t think this is going to work out. I don’t want either of us to waste our time,” and I said goodbye and left. It’s a good thing I wasn’t fooled by him, because later that week I met my husband, Michael, who, if he is a fool, is the same kind of fool I am.

Also, the next time I went back to my favorite restaurant, the waiter (who was no damn fool) told me that the staff who saw everything loved it when I walked out.

Here are some quotes about fools:

I obviously don’t write for fools.

In my images for today, can you spot the fool who took the photos?

Somebody who is no fool shared that image on Twitter yesterday in honor of National Crayon Day.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “fools.”

I look forward to reading all the comments on this “fools” post and thanks to all who helped me create it, including YOU.

Day 3329: Special talents

I think we all have special talents, and what I love about watching the Olympics is witnessing special talents other people have.

Last night, I dreamed I was snowboarding the half pipe, doing somersaults and other incredible tricks!

Shaun White and I share a special talent: we’ve both survived and thrived after being born with serious heart conditions.

I have a special talent for including links in these blog posts, so please click on the paragraph above for more information about the incredible Shaun White.

Can you find special talents in my images for today?

It takes a special talent to celebrate every day.

This is what I find when I search YouTube for “special talents.”

What’s your special talent?

One of my special talents is expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create these daily blogs, including YOU.

Day 2958: Plans

My plans for yesterday included seeing my fabulous dentist Dr. Del Castillo about an unplanned missing filling.

My plans for today include singing my new and timely lyrics for Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” at a remote Open Mic, which you can hear in this planned YouTube video.

My plans for my vacation this week included testing out a new microphone before tonight’s performance. Because of the distortion on the high notes, I plan to post a new video of “Vaccine” tonight right after the Open Mic.

Before I share my other plans for today with you, I plan to share some thoughts about plans:

• I enjoy plans when they combine structure and creative freedom.
• There is a big difference between worries and plans, although we tend to confuse and combine the two.
• It is possible to plan without worrying and I plan to continue to get better at that.

My plans for today include sharing all my planned and unplanned photos from yesterday with you.

I hope your plans for today include leaving a comment about this “Plans” post.

Every day, my plans include ending my daily blog with gratitude, so thanks to all whose plans included stopping here today, including YOU.

Day 2839: The expert on crazy

When my non-crazy patients worry out loud about being or seeming crazy, I often say, “You’re not crazy, and I’m the expert on crazy.”

The expert on crazy thinks the President of the United States is crazy.

The expert on crazy thinks this is driving many people crazy, including me.

The crazy expert on crazy, in attempts to remain sane, captured these images yesterday.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

The expert husband of the expert on crazy made a crazy good risotto yesterday. I would have been crazy not to marry him last December, before things got really crazy.

Here’s the expert on “Crazy” — Patsy Cline.

The expert on crazy is crazy about your comments, so please leave one below.

The expert on crazy is grateful to be alive, even during crazy times, and she is very grateful for you.

• 

• 

• 

• 

Day 2738: Closure

Because today is my last day as President of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy, I am thinking about closure.

As I wrote in another blog post about closure,

Closure is important, in order to move on.

There is no right or wrong way to do closure.

Closure is challenging, because it brings up old closures, which often relate to losses.

I like to use the term “ending the chapter”, when I talk to people about closure. Somebody, in my office, recently said that in their culture, they use the term “putting the period on the end of the sentence.” I like that, too.

Here’s what I’ve written, so far, about closure in my final letter from the President:

As I’ve thought about writing this, my final letter to you as President of NSGP, naturally my mind has gone to thoughts of closure. (Personally, I don’t like the word “termination”, because that sounds SO final.) As I have learned from my trainings at NSGP (and as I often tell people in my “Coping and Healing” drop-in groups) a good-enough sense of closure is critical in transitions — allowing us to appreciate what we’ve shared together and to move ahead better equipped for future challenges.

In my groups, we often discuss the insufficient and disappointing closures with family members, friends, work situations, organizations, and other important aspects of our life, and how this lack of satisfying closure in important transitions can keep us stuck. During these challenging days, when we might be feeling uncomfortably stuck, closure is especially important.

So what helps with closure? Saying what feels left unsaid.

Naming what you got.

Naming what you didn’t get.

Discarding what is not serving you well.

Later today, I will facilitate a “Coping and Healing” group on a telehealth platform (which I sometimes call “The Home Version of Coping and Healing”). At the end of the group, the participants will hear me, as usual, acknowledge the importance of  getting closure in the “wrap up” section of the group. I will introduce wrap-up by explaining, again, what helps with closure. I will invite discarding “what is not serving you well” by showing this to the group:

That’s the magic waste paper basket, an important part of my Coping and Healing groups. If you throw something away in the magic waste paper basket, it will either go away or  come back less powerful.  Here’s an incomplete list of what people have thrown away in the magic waste paper basket:

• self-judgment,
• self-doubt,
• difficult people,
• unhealthy behaviors,
• negative self-talk,
• worry,
• cognitive distortions,
• pain, and
• paper.

Do you see closure in these other images?

 

 

 

 

We’re working on getting  humane closure with our 18-year-old cat, Oscar, who has cancer.

Here‘s “Closure” by Hayley Warner …

… and “Closure” by Opeth:

I’ll get closer to closure by quoting this comment from YouTube about Opeth’s “Closure”:

Alex Mercer
1 year ago
The abrupt ending pisses me off. I need closure!!

Alex Mercer needs closure. Do you?

Gratitude helps me get closure, every day.

 

Day 2474: Compassion

In yesterday’s Coping and Healing group, the members chose to focus on the topic of “Compassion.”

What is your personal experience of compassion?  What gets in the way of you experiencing compassion?  How could you bring more compassion into your life?

In my responses to those questions about compassion, I mentioned self-compassion and also this song:

I had the compassion, just now, to choose a version of “Shower the People” by James Taylor that includes lyrics and which (I think!) is accessible to all my readers.

Here are some quotes about compassion:

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”
― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe“

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
― Plato

“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”
― Albert Einstein

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
― Leo Buscaglia

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
― Aesop

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou

“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“Compassion is the basis of morality.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer

In the group yesterday, we also discussed the opposite of compassion, which some people thought was  indifference and others thought was cruelty.  Do you see compassion or the opposite of compassion in any of my other photos from yesterday?

I have compassion for any thoughts or feelings you choose to express in a comment, below.

Thanks to all the compassionate people out there, including YOU.

Day 2467: Dragons, dogs, and ducks

As I described last week in two blog posts (here and here), I’ve been working on reducing the power of a toxic person in my life by reimagining them as a less powerful entity — transforming them in my imagination from a dragon to a little yappy dog.

Yesterday, I discovered that it also helped to think of this person as an “odd duck” — an image that  I reinforced  by taking pictures of  the various  ducks I encountered during the day.

Using this online definition of “odd duck” ….

Noun
odd duck (plural odd ducks)

(idiomatic) An unusual person, especially an individual with an idiosyncratic personality or peculiar behavioral characteristics.
Synonyms
odd fish, strange bird, weirdo; see also Thesaurus:strange person

… do you see any evidence of odd ducks in my other photos from yesterday?

Sting (whose birthday it was yesterday) does not have a song titled “Odd Duck”,  but Björk does.

I’m wondering how many odd comments I’ll get about this “Odd Duck” post.

Duck!  Here comes an odd number of thank you’s to all who helped me create today’s odd-numbered blog post, including YOU!

Day 2417: The “Why should I care?” test

Yesterday, I witnessed somebody telling a writer that their  story did not answer the “Why should I care?” test.  Why should I care about that?  Well, sometimes I wonder why my loyal and lovely readers should care about the personal words and photos I share in this blog.

Why should you care if I went to the dentist yesterday and got a new dental crown that was created, before my eyes, in a 3-D  printer?   Why should you care if Michael and I took Oscar to the vet and he got a clean bill of health?  Why should you care if Harley escaped going to the vet by scratching Michael, hissing, growling, and making it impossible for us to corral him in time to make the appointment? In other words, why should you care about what I care about?

Why should you care about how I recorded some of yesterday’s moments?

Why should any of us care about allowing cats and people to communicate their stories in an authentic,  personal, and full-bodied way?

Why should anybody care about this video I took of the creation of my new dental crown?

 

Why should I care about the comments you make on this blog?  There are SO many reasons I care.   I can only hope I convey that caring in every post and every answer, every day.

 

 

Day 2413: This & That

I’m on vacation this week & next!

During my vacation I’ll be

• staying at home & traveling overseas,
• taking Oscar & Harley to the vet,
• seeing a lawyer & changing my will,
• attending the Edinburgh Fringe Festival & performing there,
• doing this & doing that.

I noticed this & that yesterday:

 

 

The Stop & Shop and this & that appear in this song by Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers:

 

When I feel great, I fear that something bad will follow. Good things & bad things happen, but not necessarily in that order.

 

Last night, when I was feeling great about this week & next, that crown fell off.  My dentist — who is wonderful & enjoying a much earned vacation in Florida — reassured me & texted another dentist at Beacon Hill Dental Associates.  On Tuesday, I’ll take the cats to the vet & see that dentist.

Are you reading & commenting today?

Thanks & more thanks to all who helped me create today’s post & to you (including my wonderful dentist!) for reading, here & now.

Day 2091: Open with care

When I open, with care,  every new blog post, I also open, with care, my photo app.

Today I care to open with this photo:

I open my car door with care and I also open with care other things, including:

• My mind.
• My heart.
• My mouth.
• My eyes.
• Every blog post.
• Therapy groups.
• Meetings.
• Communication.
• Presents.
• Books.
• Conversations.
• Songs.
• Poems.
• Emails.
• Packaging.
• My laptop.

What do you open with care?

I shall now re-open my photo app with care.

“I’m not anti-social” (displayed with care on those socks, above) is an interesting way to open a conversation.

Note that I opened my list of favorite movies with “Singin’ in the Rain.”  I’ve opened up, here, about how much I love musicals. Today, I opened my eyes and thought, “I’m seeing Hamilton today!!!”

I now open YouTube with care, looking for relevant music to share.

Later today, I shall open WordPress with care to see how people open their comments.

I open each blog post with care and close it with gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create this open-with-care post and — of course! — YOU.