Day 2775: Closure

Because today is my last day as President of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy, I am thinking about closure.

As I wrote in another blog post about closure,

Closure is important, in order to move on.

There is no right or wrong way to do closure.

Closure is challenging, because it brings up old closures, which often relate to losses.

I like to use the term “ending the chapter”, when I talk to people about closure. Somebody, in my office, recently said that in their culture, they use the term “putting the period on the end of the sentence.” I like that, too.

Here’s what I’ve written, so far, about closure in my final letter from the President:

As I’ve thought about writing this, my final letter to you as President of NSGP, naturally my mind has gone to thoughts of closure. (Personally, I don’t like the word “termination”, because that sounds SO final.) As I have learned from my trainings at NSGP (and as I often tell people in my “Coping and Healing” drop-in groups) a good-enough sense of closure is critical in transitions — allowing us to appreciate what we’ve shared together and to move ahead better equipped for future challenges.

In my groups, we often discuss the insufficient and disappointing closures with family members, friends, work situations, organizations, and other important aspects of our life, and how this lack of satisfying closure in important transitions can keep us stuck. During these challenging days, when we might be feeling uncomfortably stuck, closure is especially important.

So what helps with closure? Saying what feels left unsaid.

Naming what you got.

Naming what you didn’t get.

Discarding what is not serving you well.

Later today, I will facilitate a “Coping and Healing” group on a telehealth platform (which I sometimes call “The Home Version of Coping and Healing”). At the end of the group, the participants will hear me, as usual, acknowledge the importance of  getting closure in the “wrap up” section of the group. I will introduce wrap-up by explaining, again, what helps with closure. I will invite discarding “what is not serving you well” by showing this to the group:

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That’s the magic waste paper basket, an important part of my Coping and Healing groups. If you throw something away in the magic waste paper basket, it will either go away or  come back less powerful.  Here’s an incomplete list of what people have thrown away in the magic waste paper basket:

  • self-judgment,
  • self-doubt,
  • difficult people,
  • unhealthy behaviors,
  • negative self-talk,
  • worry,
  • cognitive distortions,
  • pain, and
  • paper.

Do you see closure in these other images?

 

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We’re working on getting  humane closure with our 18-year-old cat, Oscar, who has cancer.

Here‘s “Closure” by Hayley Warner

… and “Closure” by Opeth:

I’ll get closer to closure by quoting this comment from YouTube about Opeth’s “Closure”:

Alex Mercer
1 year ago
The abrupt ending pisses me off. I need closure!!

Alex Mercer needs closure. Do you?

Gratitude helps me get closure, every day.

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Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

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24 thoughts on “Day 2775: Closure

  1. Congratulations on the completion of your presidency, Ann! And, yes, I’m ready to put the lid on several things hounding our nation and world …

  2. congratulations on your tenure as president of the group therapy org, where you shared your talents and innovated and grew the organization forward! I am glad it is has come to its scheduled and proscribed end. I see you went in to work! Looks like you safely PPE’d! love you

    • Hi Carol! Thanks for the congratulations, which help me get closure. I actually did NOT go in to work — I went to get my teeth cleaned (so important for my health) and that is my dental hygienist, Michel (who also had COVID a few months ago). Thanks for reading and for the comment! ❤

  3. barbaralipps8

    Ann, Congratulations on your last day as president!!

    I saw Mia yesterday for my first haircut in 4 months. I kept it longer for a change of pace.

    Let’s catch up soon. Maybe another Zoom call??????

    Much love, Barbara

    On Tue, Jun 30, 2020 at 7:20 AM The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally wrote:

    > Ann Koplow posted: “Because today is my last day as President of the > Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy, I am thinking about closure. > As I wrote in another blog post about closure, Closure is important, in > order to move on. There is no right or wrong way to do c” >

  4. Sound thoughts on the importance of closure

  5. Congrats on your last day as President, my dear friend. I guess closure is kind of a happy ending.
    ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

  6. congrats, madame president, on a job well done and thoughtfully carried out. here is a quote about closure that I like –

    “There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”
    ― Ellen Goodman

  7. Congratulations not on the end but on the chapters to come. You’ve written this chapter well, but I look forward to the turning of the page.

  8. May your closure go well and leave you with lots of fond memories of your term of office.

  9. I’m glad Harley and Oscar can coach you also on the decision to give closure on this matter.

  10. This made me think about closure and what I thought was yeah it is important for everyone to have closeuure about stuff diofferent stuff for differrent people for me personally I needed closure when damn I don’t know when bugga

  11. Maureen

    Wow! You were all suited up! Were you going to the vet’s or to a patient’s room?

    I love how you are caring for Oscar in his final days.

    • That is actually not me! That is my dental hygienist — I had my first dental cleaning since the beginning of the pandemic on Monday.

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