Day 1978: Resentment

I hope there’s no resentment about today’s topic, which is discussed by Robert Enright, Ph.D. in a Psychology Today online article “Why Resentment Lasts — and How to Defeat it.”

I hope there’s no resentment about my choosing these particular quotes over others from that article:

To psychologists, resentment over a long period of time can be an unhealthy response to injustice.

This kind of resentment can lead to unhappiness, continual irritability, and psychological compromise including excessive anxiety and depression.

I know of one person who, upon having his morning cup of coffee, would replay the injustice and feel the inner strength as a way of getting ready for the day. He did this until he realized that over the long-term, such a routine was leaving him drained before he even left for work

How do I turn off the resentment?  What path do I take to have some inner quiet?  Taking up jogging might do it……but once you have recovered your energy from the run, the anger returns.  How about relaxation training?  Same issue: once the muscle relaxation is over, there is the resentment with its perverse smile looking back at you.  “I just don’t know how to rid myself of the resentment!” is a cry I hear too often.

Try to see the inner world of the one causing the disturbance.

Commit to doing no harm to the one who is harming you.

Stand in the pain so that you do not pass that pain to innocent others.

To forgive is a way of offering goodness to the one who gave you the unwanted present of resentment.

Which is the better identity: a life lived with an unwanted inner guest or a life free to be a conduit of good toward others and yourself?

Is there any resentment about these photos?

 

 

What is your personal experience of resentment?  What makes resentment more difficult for you? What helps you deal with resentment?

There will be no resentment about any comments you send my way.

Here‘s “Resentment” by Beyonce.

Another great antidote for resentment is gratitude.  Thanks to all who helped me create this “resentment” post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 1520: Oscar-related lessons

Like every other life experience, the 2017 Oscars provided some valuable lessons, including:

1. It’s not over until it’s over (which was also a lesson of the Super Bowl earlier this month) and
2. Everybody makes mistakes.

Here’s another Oscar-related lesson:

Don’t fall asleep near an adorable cat named Oscar if you don’t want your photo taken and shared on the internet.

Do you see any lessons in my other photos from yesterday?

 

I learned these lessons, yesterday, from that clock at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge: That IS a working steam-punk clock, you can make a clock out of anything, and time is ticking, so seize the day!

Any lessons in this music?

If there’s any lesson I’ve learned in my life, it’s to express gratitude to those I appreciate, including you!

Day 246: Good news

Yesterday, I saw my Best Friend Forever, Jeanette, who lives far away, but who was in town this weekend. (That’s another reason I was so lucky yesterday.)

Jeanette and I exchanged a lot of good news and swapped some recent lessons we’ve been learning, including the following:

1. If you catch yourself  having an old, outmoded thought that no longer helps you, you can “put a period on it” (which reminds me of Beyoncé telling somebody to “put a ring on it,” although it’s actually the opposite.)
2. Technology can suddenly decide that it knows what you need better than you do, resulting in some temporarily confusing results (e.g., sorting certain e-mails into certain folders, so that you stop seeing them).
3. If  somebody warns you about danger (or otherwise gives you advice about what you should or shouldn’t do), that doesn’t mean they think you’re stupid, incompetent, childish, or otherwise incapable of taking care of yourself.  They’re letting you know, in their own way, that they care about you.
4. If somebody you love lives far away from you, you can still connect with them through many different technologies and services, ranging from Facetime to Amtrak.
5. Ghosts don’t exist, but even if they did exist, they’re probably not evil ghosts, but even if there are evil ghosts, they’re too busy with other things to bother with you, and even if they did bother with you, enough friendly ghosts have passed on, too, who will protect you.
6. If you make a mistake — such as accidentally parking in a handicapped parking spot in an unfamiliar location — this does not mean that you are evil, even if you have this sitting on your dashboard:

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Thanks to Jeanette,  Beyoncé, ghosts, ducks, and technology, and to you, also, for reading today.