Day 2494: Sometimes life sucks

Sometimes life sucks, like when you lose an old friend to a terrible brain cancer that has killed another friend of yours.

Sometimes you see a card that perfectly captures your experience.

Sometimes you listen to the same damn song over and over again to comfort yourself, like when you’re driving to say goodbye to an old friend.

 

Hajanga

by Jacob Collier

Everybody, near and far
Come together as you are
To the ocean, to the sky
Sing that cosmic lullaby
Sing the hajanga

Sing your pleasure sing your pain
Like you’ll never sing again
Let it echo, loud and clear
Across the ancient stratosphere
Even when the sun refuse to shine
There’s a song of love that never dies

Even when the good days pass you by
Lift your voices to the sky singin’
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

As the words go round and round
Let the tears roll down and down
Sing the way you wish to be
Let that singing set you free

Even when those dark clouds bring you down
There’s a spark of joy that can be found
Even when things break and fall apart
Lift your hands up from your heart, singing
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

Said every morning
Every night
Through the darkness
To the light
Like a beacon
Shining bright
Sing the hajanga you’ll be alright

From the winter
Comes the spring
It don’t matter
What life will bring
You can do most anything
So give your hajanga
A song to sing

So tell your mama
Tell your pa
Sing it near and sing it far
Be exactly the way you are
See the hajanga
It’s your guiding star

To every woman
To every man
In every nation
In every land
I said please you’ve gotta understand
Now sing the hajanga
And take my hand, sing it!

Then one day your life is through
Nothing more that you can do
So give away the things you know
And tell your friends you love them so
Tell them hajanga

I let the tears roll down and down, yesterday, as I told Tony‘s friends and family that I loved him so.

Sometimes life sucks and we CAN do a damn thing about it, like telling people we love them so.

Here are all my other damn photos from yesterday:

 

Sometimes life sucks and we can feel and express gratitude for what we still have, like this blog and YOU.

 

Day 2439: What words stand out for you?

After the Democrat debate last night — which included a lot of words, presidential candidates, and interruptions — I’m wondering what words stand out for you?

What words stand out for you in my photos from yesterday?

My son’s friend Leo (who wrote some stand-out words in this blog post) thinks I’ll stand out if my Fringe poster includes words about my credentials.  I’m still not sure whether I’ll include those words.

When I search YouTube for “What words stand out for you?” this comes up first …

… which reminds me of the misheard words in my son’s video:

These words stand out for me from comedian Peter Kay’s Wikipedia page:

his first semi-professional stand-up appearances were at the 1998 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where he received a prestigious Perrier Award nomination.

Words that stand out for me from my readers’ comments, over the years, tell me that certain wordless pictures stand out, like this one:

What words stand out for me, as I finish this post?  As usual, these words:

Day 2431: Community

My dear blogging community,

After almost seven years of blogging daily about the healing power of community, I discover, here and now, that I have never, ever titled a post “Community” before.

COMMUNITY noun, often attributive
com·​mu·​ni·​ty | \ kə-ˈmyü-nə-tē \
plural communities
Definition of community
1 : a unified body of individuals: such as
a : the people with common interests living in a particular area
broadly : the area itself
the problems of a large community
b : a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society
a community of retired persons
a monastic community
c : a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society
the academic community
the scientific community
d : a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests
the international community
e : a group linked by a common policy
f : an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (such as species) in a common location
g : STATE, COMMONWEALTH
2a : a social state or condition
The school encourages a sense of community in its students.
b : joint ownership or participation
community of goods
c : common character : LIKENESS
community of interests
d : social activity : FELLOWSHIP
3 : society at large
the interests of the community

If you’re looking for a definition of “community” by Merriam-Webster,  that’s it.

When I look at news stories from the world community, I do not find a focus on community, Instead, I see divisiveness, “other”-ing, and antonyms of community like inequality, conflict, polarity, incompatibility, incongruence, disproportion, imbalance, disagreement, discrepancy, disparity, dissimilarity, unlikeness, forlornness, and loneliness.

Do you see community in my photos from yesterday ?

Don Henley, who used to be in a community of Eagles, has created several songs about community, including this one …

… and this one.

It’s difficult to find Don Henley songs in the community of YouTube, but here’s a slower version of “The Boys of Summer.”

I look forward to hearing from my community of readers.

No matter what community  I’m in, I’m always looking for expressions of gratitude.  Thanks to the community of people who helped me create this post and — of course! — thanks to YOU.

 

 

Day 2410: Tell me what you see.

Tell me if you see that three days ago I published a post titled “Tell Me About It” (which is the first time I’ve used “Tell me …” in a blog post title).  Tell me what you see in that.

Tell me what you see in my photos from yesterday (presented so you can see them chronologically).

Tell me what you see in this Beatles song:

 

Tell me what you see in this cover of “Tell Me What You See.”

Every day, my G.O.A.L …

… is to Get Out And Look, because there’s so much to see!

Tell me if you see gratitude here to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2382: The Pest Reliever

Sometimes, the first photo I take affects how I see things for the rest of the day, as well as the contents of my next blog.

Here’s the first photo I took yesterday:

 

It’s a relief to share that I can see myself as a kind of pest reliever — relieving  what pesters my patients and also myself. Those pests include:

• shame,
• worry,
• stress,
• anxiety,
• depression,
• perfectionism,
• traumatic memories, and
• harsh judgments (like the inner critic).

Pest relievers can include:

• acceptance,
• appreciation,
• forgiveness,
• humor,
• welcoming all feelings,
• self-expression,
• self-care,
• care for others,
• compassion,
• celebrating,
• being in the moment,
• nature, and
• community.

Let’s see if there are any pest relievers in my other photos from yesterday (presented as taken chronologically, so I don’t pester myself about any “right or wrong” order):

Michael’s cooking is definitely a pest reliever.   I sometimes pester Michael for his cooking secrets to share here: there’s no pesto on that salmon, but rather a delicious lime, mint, and fresh peach sauce.

Music can be another pest reliever, so here’s “Voodoo Mambo” from The Pest, starring John Leguizamo.

 

Now I’m going to be a pest and ask for comments, below.

As always, a great pest reliever is gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create this pest-reliever post and thanks to you — of course! — for visiting.

Day 2379: Growing pains

Sometimes, when I’m trying to make sense of what’s happening with my country, I attribute it to growing pains.

Here’s a definition of growing pains:

grow·ing pains
/ˈɡrōiNG ˌpānz/
noun
neuralgic pains which occur in the limbs of some young children.
the difficulties experienced in the early stages of an enterprise.
“the growing pains of a young republic”

Earlier this week, Vivian (who continues to grow since co-facilitating Coping and Healing groups with me over a year ago), sent me this in a text message:

Vivian (who is never a pain) also sent me this:

Obviously, Frances Cannon has undergone some growing pains and we can all benefit from those.

Yesterday, after a day filled with some painful growth, I left a voicemail message for a lovely co-worker — who is experiencing some growing pains at work — suggesting that she take a break from her pain and anxiety about potentially doing the wrong thing,  by welcoming it.  While that may seem painfully counter-intuitive, that advice comes from my own experience.  In the 1990s, when I was experiencing growing pains and almost debilitating anxiety at my first social work internship, one morning I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Ann!  Today you are going to celebrate making mistakes and enjoy people getting angry at you.” That self-intervention helped me tolerate the growing pains of becoming a social worker, working within a hospital system, and learning to be a group therapist.

Let’s see if there’s any evidence of growing pains in today’s pictures, shall we?

 

 

 

It’s sometimes a pain for me to decide what music to include in these posts,  because there are so many choices! This image …

… reminded me of the Pharrell Williams lyrics “Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof” so let’s do this:

Also, in honor of the Who being named world’s loudest  rock band in 1976 …

… let’s do this, from an April 1, 1976 Who Concert in Boston (my hometown, where I’ve experienced lots of growing pains).

 

I’m looking forward to the comments section, below, growing with your comments.

 

Gratitude always helps with the pain of growing, so thanks to all who helped me create this “growing pains” post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2372: Better Speech and Hearing Month

If this is Better Speech and Hearing Month,

why aren’t we hearing better speeches this month? Instead, we’re hearing speeches, again, about our U.S. President being a “stable genius.”  

Considering the speeches we’re hearing this month, I would prefer stillness. 

Therefore, I am not going to make any speeches this month.  I’m just going to share all the photos I’ve been taking, looking for better stable geniuses around me. I hope these pictures help  you feel better, hear and now.

 

 

I will share this: I’ve been hearing better speeches about my Coping and Healing groups during Better Speech and Hearing Month, which makes it easier to share groups I love.

How might you celebrate Better Speech and Hearing Month?

Personally, I’m looking forward to hearing better speeches (and maybe new comedy monologues) from my son, Aaron, who arrives from Edinburgh today!

Now, let’s hear  “A Very Stable Genius” by Randy Rainbow:

I’m going to be celebrating Lasagna Awareness Month by hearing Randy Rainbow live in Boston.

I look forward to hearing my readers’ speeches in the comments section, below.

It’s better, during any month, to share gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create all of my blog posts during Better Speech and Hearing Month, and — of course! — thanks to YOU,  as always, for hearing me out.

Day 2368: The little things

Five hundred and seventy-eight little days ago (but who’s counting these little things?), little ol’ me wrote a little blog post,  Day 1790: Thankful for the little things.  Yesterday, I was a little perturbed by many little things when I was writing yesterday’s little post, so  I sent Michael this little email:

Hello my darling,

I would say we have an infestation of ants .  This is based on many of them crawling on me this morning while I was blogging, which is a new experience for me here at Squanticello.  Let us research kind ways to invite them to leave.

Much love,

Ann

When I got home from work, Michael was more than a little freaked out at the not-so-little size of the invaders, which turned out to be carpenter ants. He said, “Usually I don’t think of insects as animals, but these enormous winged things are definitely animals.” Michael spent many little moments yesterday identifying the big ants’ little points of entry and applying spray that is kind to little things like children and pets.

I didn’t take any pictures of those little things, but I invite you to spot the little things in today’s little photos.

I don’t see any little or large ants as I’m creating this little post, so I’d say that Michael’s efforts paid off, in a big way.

Here‘s “The Little Things You Do Together” from a little musical called Company:

Here are the great lyrics to “The Little Things You Do Together”  by that musical giant, Stephen Sondheim:

It’s the little things you do together
Do together
Do together
That make perfect relationships.
The hobbies you pursue together
Savings you accrue together
Looks you misconstrue together
That make marriage a joy.

It’s the little things you share together
Swear together
Wear together
That make perfect relationships.
The concerts you enjoy together
Neighbors you annoy together
Children you destroy together
That keep marriage intact.

It’s not so hard to be married
When two maneuver as one
It’s not so hard to be married
And Jesus Christ, is it fun.

It’s sharing little winks together
Drinks together
Kinks together
That make marriage a joy.
The bargains that you shop together
Cigarettes you stop together
Clothing that you swap together
That make perfect relationships.

It’s not talk of God and the decade ahead that
Allows you to get through the worst.
It’s “I do,” and, “You don’t,” and, “Nobody said that,”
And, “Who brought the subject up first?”

It’s the little things…
The little things, the little things, the little things

The little ways you try together
Cry together
Lie together
That make perfect relationships.
Becoming a cliche together
Growing old and gray together
Withering away together
That make marriage a joy.

It’s not so hard to be married,
It’s much the simplest of crimes.
It’s not so hard to be married,
I’ve done it three or four times.

It’s people that you hate together
Bait together
Date together
That make marriage a joy.
It’s things like using force together
Shouting till you’re hoarse together
Getting a divorce together
That make perfect relationships.
Uh uh
Kiss kiss
Mmmm mmmmm.

I’m greatly looking forward to all your little comments, below.

Gratitude for the little things helps me deal with all the little and big things every day, so big thanks to those who help me create this little blog and — of course! — to YOU.

---

Soon after publishing this post, I made up some new little lyrics for that song, more relevant for tall Michael and little me:

It’s battling ants together
Making sure you dance together
Keeping the romance together
That make perfect relationships.

Day 2351: Long story, short

Because I’m hosting a retreat for group therapists at our home today, I need to make a long story, short.

Yesterday, I had a long day in which I

• visited the hospital’s gift shop,
• facilitated a Coping and Healing therapy group,
• did individual therapy,
• responded on short notice to people in crisis,
• said “au revoir” — feeling sad AND happy — to graduating social work intern (and my co-writer and co-performer of the song “Nobody’s Perfect”), wonderful Nat Shirley,
• exchanged short horn-honks with another yellow Honda Fit like mine,
• had a short conversation with the two lovely people riding in that Honda Fit, and
• sang one short original song near the end of a long Open Mic night, all the while being my short self wearing a long skirt and long earrings.

Since pictures are worth a thousand words, sharing photos might be the best way to make a long story short.

Amelia and Percy, my new Honda-Fit friends, told me a short story about how she thinks our cars are yellow and he thinks they’re lime green.

Here‘s me telling the long story, short, about how I left the house before I felt ready:

 

Please leave your long or short comments, below.

Long gratitude, short:

Day 2323: Actions speak louder than words

My first loud action in today’s blog is to share this photo of five words:

I’m just now noticing that “louder” is the quietest word in that sign.

My second loud action is to share many words about when to shut up!?

Are the actions in my remaining photos louder than the words?

This might take several minutes to listen to the words and music in “Nobody’s Perfect” co-written by almost perfect social work intern Nat Shirley and me. Last night, Nat and I took the action of loudly performing our act at an Open Mic.

I look forward to your words and actions about today’s post.

Now, it’s time to take the action of loudly expressing words of gratitude to YOU.