Day 2323: Actions speak louder than words

My first loud action in today’s blog is to share this photo of five words:

I’m just now noticing that “louder” is the quietest word in that sign.

My second loud action is to share many words about when to shut up!?

Are the actions in my remaining photos louder than the words?

This might take several minutes to listen to the words and music in “Nobody’s Perfect” co-written by almost perfect social work intern Nat Shirley and me. Last night, Nat and I took the action of loudly performing our act at an Open Mic.

I look forward to your words and actions about today’s post.

Now, it’s time to take the action of loudly expressing words of gratitude to YOU.

 

Day 2319: People who love are forgiving.

Please forgive me, my loving readers, for starting this post with this image:

I love blogging every day, so I forgive WordPress or my computer or my phone or technology in general for making it SO difficult, just now, to upload that ONE photo out of all my new pictures.

Forgiving is lovely. I recommend it.

Let me know if you love and/or forgive any of my other photos from yesterday.

I love people who vote. I’m not sure I forgive people who don’t vote, but I’m working on it.

Here‘s what comes up on YouTube when I search for “people who love are forgiving.”

I look forward to your loving, forgiving comments.

I love ending posts with thanks to all who help me create them and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2307 Why I Love You

Why, I love this card that I saw yesterday in a hospital gift shop!

I love those reasons for why somebody loves somebody else.  Here’s why I love that pie chart: it gives the most pie to “You Make Me Laugh.”

I also love the idea of making a pie chart of why you love yourself, because as RuPaul says at the end of every episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race,

If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

I love that video of the lovely and loving RuPaul advocating self-love over and over again, because it bears repeating. I also love that Denes Fernando‘s compilation video has unanimous love — NO thumbs down on YouTube, at this lovely moment.

Here are more reasons why I love taking pictures for this blog:

I love blogging and I love inviting you, here and now, to share why you love anything, anyone, and especially YOU.

 

Day 2305: Denial

No denial here that I’ve already written one post titled “Denial.”

No denial here that I’m surprised I haven’t written more posts about denial, because there’s so much denial around, including understandable human denial about the devastating effects of climate change. It’s been difficult for me to remain in denial since I followed that link in my previous sentence to read that interview with David Wallace-Wells, the author of The Uninhabitable Earth. 

There’s definitely denial in my photos from yesterday.

Maybe I’m in denial, but I can’t find the Bee Gees “Nigt Fever” on YouTube, so here‘s “Stayin’ Alive” instead.

All your thoughts and emotions about denial are welcome, below.

Undeniable thanks to all who helped me create today’s denial post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2300: Up for anything

Now that I’m up for the day, I can tell you that lately I’ve been up for anything, including

• doing my taxes,
• getting tasks off my plate more quickly,
• writing lyrics and music,
• figuring out harmonies for “Nobody’s Perfect”, which I co-wrote and will be co-singing with Social Work intern Nat Shirley,
• performing music in front of people,
• doing presentations at work,
• facilitating five therapy groups a week,
• serving as President of a group therapy professional organization,
• reaching out to new people,
• blogging daily,
• saying “yes” to things I want to say “yes” to,
• saying “no” to things I want to say “no” to,
• quieting my harsh inner critic,
• taking classes,
• binge watching RuPaul’s Drag Race,
• dancing,
• accepting and giving compliments,
• asking for what I want, and
• Michael’s home-cooked meals,

I’m up for sharing the lyrics of “Nobody’s Perfect” if you’re up for reading them.

Nobody’s Perfect

Nobody’s perfect, even us two.

We try to be perfect,

But that doesn’t do.

We both make mistakes.

In that, we’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect.

Nothing is more true.

Nobody’s perfect, even your friends.

If you’re expecting perfection

Those friendships may end.

Friends make mistakes.

In that they’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect.

Nothing is more true.

Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,

Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,

It makes your thoughts and feelings uncomfortably sludgy,

With mean self-flagellation even if you’re slightly pudgy.

(if an instrumentalist joins us)

Nobody’s perfect.

Even us three.

Letting go of perfection

Helps us to be free.

Ann: She and he aren’t perfect,

In that, they’re like me.

Together: Nobody’s perfect,

You, them, or we.

Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,

Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,

Expectations turn unrealistic and sludgy,

It’s a crime and a sin even if you’re just pudgy.

Nobody’s perfect.

Even a star.

Stars need to look perfect,

But they never are.

Stars make mistakes,

In that they’re like you.

Nobody’s perfect

And that’s perfectly true.

© Ann Koplow, 2019

Are you up for my photos from yesterday?

I’m up for anything, including sharing this first attempt by Nat and me to create harmonies for “Nobody’s Perfect.”

 

 

I’m up for telling you that Nat wrote the melody for “Nobody’s Perfect.” I may not be up for singing that high when we perform it, so we may have to lower it.

Now I’m up for your comments, which you can make below.

I’m definitely up for thanking those who helped me create this up-for-anything post (especially Nat), and — of course! — YOU, for being up for anything in this blog.

 

Day 2299: Cognitive Distortions

Regular readers of this blog know I often write about the cognitive distortions described by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, including overgeneralization, mind reading, catastrophizing, personalization, comparisons, shoulds, and labeling/name-calling. Regular readers of this blog do NOT know that I soon will be performing my latest original song (titled “Nobody’s Perfect” and co-written with a Social Work intern at work named Nat) with other musicians, and we’re thinking of calling ourselves “The Cognitive Distortions.”

Last night, my boyfriend Michael and I were experiencing cognitive distortions when we were both making overgeneralizations about human beings.  Our cognitive distortions have increased since the last U.S. Presidential election as we both try to make sense of the human behavior described in the media, by cognitively debating and trying to understand what people are really like and why they say what they say and do what they do.

Do you see any cognitive distortions in this part of our discussion last night?

Michael:  I think people who say “I believe in him” or “I believe in that” know, on some level, that those things are not true.

Ann: Michael, this is the same disagreement we constantly have. I think that a lot of  people really believe what they say. How do you know what they really believe?  That’s overgeneralization and mind reading.

Michael:  How do YOU know what they really believe?

Me: I don’t really know, but I’ve encountered so many people in individual and group therapy who seem to really believe what they say they believe.

Michael: And I’ve encountered thousands of people through my work in the food industry.

Me: THOUSANDS?

Michael: Let me tell you a story that sums up my experience of people. There was this woman I used to work with. One day, somebody asked her if she believed in ghosts.  She said, “No.” And then she added, “But I’ve seen one.”

Me (laughing): I’m putting that in tomorrow’s blog.

Do you see any cognitive distortions in today’s photos?

I just searched YouTube for “cognitive distortions” to see if any musical group already has that name.  This is what I found:

Feel free to express your cognitions and feelings about Cognitive Distortions, below.

Thanks and appreciation to all who helped me express the cognitive distortions in today’s post and — of course! — thanks and appreciation to YOU.

 

Day 2295: Reassuring

I find it reassuring that

• I’m pretty sure I know how to spell “reassuring,”
• so many people read and comment about my blog,
• I have life-long friends like Barbara, whose birthday was yesterday,
• even though my son, Aaron, tells me I need more reassuring than most people, I’m getting better and better at reassuring myself,
• I’m not freaking out about tax season this year,
• I’m not stressing about a presentation next week, and
• at two thousand two hundred and ninety-five consecutive blog posts, I can still find post titles I haven’t used before, like “Reassuring.”

What do you find reassuring?

Shall we see if there’s anything reassuring in my photos from yesterday?  Sure!

It’s reassuring to me and probably to her therapy patients that my co-worker Alice has so many stress balls in her office.

Here‘s a playlist  on YouTube titled “Hopeful Reassuring Songs.”

It’s reassuring that there are almost fifty songs on that playlist, including “All Will Be Well,” “There’s Nothing Wrong with You” and “Brave.”

It would be reassuring to me if you left a comment, but please do whatever is reassuring for you.

Reassuring thanks to all who helped me create this reassuring post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2294: What’s Working and What’s Not Working?

Yesterday, when people were working in a therapy group, somebody suggested that we make lists of “What’s Working?”  and “What’s Not Working?”

It works for me that the lists of “What’s Working?” were usually bigger than the lists of “What’s Not Working?”

Here’s my list of “What’s Not Working?”

There was too much on my list of “What’s Working” to capture completely in this photograph:

It works in my groups for people to “steal” other people’s ideas. I stole a lot of that “What’s Working?” list from the group members.

What’s working and what’s not working in the rest of my photos from yesterday?

What’s working and what’s not working for you, here and now?

Here‘s the “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted.

It’s working for me to end this post now, because I have to go to work.  Thanks to all who helped me make this “What Working and What’s Not Working?” post work and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2271: You look like ____

Yesterday, when it looked like I was looking at a difficult drive home through a scary-looking snowstorm and  I looked like I needed some hot chocolate, I looked and saw this:

Everybody looks like they’d love a free drink, don’t they?

I don’t know what you look like as you’re reading this but I rarely know what I look like, especially these days, when my looks have been changing.  My boyfriend Michael, who looks like a wonderful person, has had trouble recognizing me when he looks for me in the supermarket when we’re food shopping.

On Sunday, my life-long friend Arnie, who looks beautiful to me,  took me on a walk to look at a poster of somebody he thought looked like me.  He had looked at that poster, very near to where he lives, for many months and thought “That looks like Ann” until he was inspired to call me and reconnect with me after six years.

You look like you’d love to see that poster and what I look like now, next to it.

I don’t know what that looked like to people in  busy Coolidge Corner on Sunday.

Look, I don’t think I look like her but, like her, I have tamed brows and am wild at heart.

An hour before Arnie took that photo, I looked like a guilty person when the Brookline police stopped me for looking at my phone while I was driving a few yards from that poster.  It looked like I might get a ticket, but the two policewomen, who looked kind and reasonable, gave me a warning. It looks like I won’t look at my phone any more when I’m driving.

You look like you’d like to see my other new photos from yesterday.

 

You look like you’d like some of that home-made chili and like you’d like to hear “You Look Like I Need a Drink” by Justin Moore.

I look like I need a comment from you. Look below to leave one.

You look like you’re expecting me to express my thanks  to all who helped me create the looks in today’s blog post and — of course! — to YOU, for taking a look, here and now.

Day 2017: Clutter

Last Friday’s Coping and Healing therapy group focused on the issue of clutter.

The word “clutter” is still cluttering up my white board.

Now I’m going to clutter up this post with a definition of “clutter.”

clut·ter
ˈklədər
verb
1. crowd (something) untidily; fill with clutter.
“his apartment was cluttered with paintings and antiques”
synonyms: litter, mess up, disarrange
noun
1. a collection of things lying about in an untidy mass.
“the attic is full of clutter”

Many thoughts clutter up my brain, including this one:

One person’s clutter is another person’s treasure.

There are lots of new photos cluttering up my iPhone.

 

 

Yesterday, I cluttered up WordPress with Day 2016: How to be more awesome.  Tomorrow, I’ll be trying to figure out how to clutter up a post when the number of the day is the same as the number of the year.

There are a LOT of videos about clutter cluttering up YouTube. Here‘s one:

Here‘s “Clutter” by Ronald Jenkees:

 

I look forward to all the clutter in the comment section below.

As usual, I clutter up my posts with thanks to all who help me create them and — of course! — to YOU.