Day 2811: The difference between awareness and worry

I’m aware that I’ve already written posts about the difference between worry and planning, but I’m not worried about that.  I’m also aware that despite my belief  that worry never helps (an awareness I often share, here and elsewhere), I still worry.  For example, I’m aware that I’m worrying about the upcoming USA Presidential election and I’m aware that the worry affects me, every day.

You might be aware that I’ve already shared this photo about the difference between awareness and worry.

I’m aware that my writing might be difficult to read, above, and I’m worried that I might not be able to translate that into a nice table here.

          AWARENESS                                                                             WORRY

Present in the moment                                                            Future oriented

   Calmness                                                                                    Tenseness

  Certainty                                                                                  Uncertainty

Nothing needs to happen                                              Something needs to be resolved

       Helps                                                                                    Doesn’t help

 

My awareness tells me that table is not perfect, but I’m deciding not to worry about that. Awareness  of my own worry allows me to let go of it, every moment.

Do you see awareness and/or worry in these other recent photos?

 

 

I’m aware of the time, so here is “Aware of Your Love” by Carl Dawkins:

 

Is there awareness, out there, of how grateful I am for every day?

 

Day 2782: First guess, best guess

What’s your first guess about why today’s post is titled “First guess, best guess”? Let’s find out if it’s the best guess.

Since the first day I met my best friend/husband Michael, he’s been saying, “First guess, best guess.”

One of my other best friends wrote to me the other day, when I felt insecure about how I had run a board meeting:  “I’m not sure 2nd guessing is helpful.”

Is it your first guess, best guess that both those pieces of advice — “First guess, best guess” and “I’m not sure 2nd guessing is helpful” — mean the same thing?

I love guessing and I don’t stop with my first guess. If I DID stop with my first guess, our ailing and adorable cat Oscar would not be alive today.  Also, Michael’s first guess was that the Social Security office had his correct birthday on file and they did NOT.  My next guess about filing our taxes is that we’ll have to do that by mail, which is not exactly a catastrophe (although my first guess — when the IRS rejected our e-filing this weekend because Michael’s birthday on the form did not match Social Security’s record — was that it WAS a catastrophe).

Catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion (which we talk about in my Coping and Healing groups) where our first guess is that a catastrophe is imminent, even though it isn’t.

Since catastrophizing is a first guess, not best guess, I’m now guessing that “first guess, best guess” is not always best.

However, my first guess about Michael, when I first met him on okCupid, was that he was a wonderful person I wanted in my life.  I’ve had similar first guess, best guesses about other people, including the other best friend I quoted above.

My best guess about guesses, here and now, is that it’s best to trust our intuition AND also be open to new evidence that comes along.

What’s your first guess, best guess about what’s next in this blog post?

If you guessed photos, your first guess was the best!

In today’s Daily Bitch Calendar, auto-correct’s first guess was not the best guess.

This is the first song I heard by The Guess Who, which I think is their best:

My first guess was that the title of that song was “She’s Come Undone” but my best guess is that it is “Undun.”

My first guess, best guess is that there will be great comments about today’s post.

First guess, best guess, constant guess is to express gratitude every day.

Day 2756: Worrying about everything

Four hundred and twenty-eight days ago (don’t worry, I’m counting), I wrote a post titled “A Year of No Worry.” Recently, I reminded Michael about our shared pledge to not worry for a year, starting on April 10, 2019.  We laughed and noted how we had gone from worrying about nothing to worrying about everything.

Last night, Michael noticed that I was worrying about everything even harder than usual. So he told me he was making my favorite childhood comfort food, tuna noodle casserole, to help get me through the next few difficult days. (In case you’re worrying about tuna noodle casserole, I shall remind you that Michael is an accomplished chef.) Michael didn’t seem worried when I responded to his news by crying — he knows that kindness can make me cry (as well as cruelty).

Yes, I’m worrying about everything, including these recent photos.

I can NOT go from worrying about everything to not caring about anything in a matter of seconds, but I’m actually not worrying about that.

Hmmmm. I guess I am not worrying about EVERYTHING.

Here’s Why We Worry All the Time and How to Cope, from The School of Life.

Once I heard that video quote Donald Winnicott, I stopped worrying about sharing that here. Here’s the quote:

The catastrophe you fear will happen has in fact already happened.

I’m worrying about how to share quotes from Marcus Aurelius, who governed during a terrible pandemic. Here‘s a good enough solution:

I’m worrying about how many quotes use “man” when they mean “human,” but I know they apply to women too.

I hope you’re not worrying about leaving a comment and I am NOT worrying about expressing my gratitude, here and now.

 

 

Day 2726: Masks

Four years ago and six months ago (but who’s counting, especially these days?), I wrote two other blog posts with the title “Masks.”  I shall not mask my wish that you check out those two posts by clicking on the links in that previous sentence.

Why am I writing about “masks” today?

Are you kidding?  If you don’t know why, you must have been masked and ear-plugged in a locked room for a  dozen weeks (but who’s counting?).

Let’s see if there are any masks in my photos from yesterday.

There are MANY videos on YouTube about masks, and here’s one of them:

 

Masks

Wearing masks,

Is just one of those tasks,

We need to do for now.

 

If you wear glasses,

Are one of the masses,

Are one of the asses,

Or simply don’t know how.

 

Please find and wear a mask.

I really hate to ask,

Or take you to task.

(And now I take a bow.)

© Ann Koplow, 2020

I can’t mask my need to write blog posts, poems, songs, whatever, because THAT is what keeps me going in masked times like these. If you can write a different final line to my new poem “Masks,” please unmask that in a comment, below.

Here is the “Masks” section from Prokofiev‘s Romeo and Juliet:

I hope my gratitude for all  shines through, even when I’m wearing masks.

Day 2678: This Day

This day will be unlike any day we’ve seen before.

This day will bring:

• new routines,
• old routines,
• fear,
• hope,
• local news,
• global news,
• food,
• animals,
• communication,
• loneliness,
• connection,
• games,
• humor,
• tea,
• fortune telling,
• all the feelings,
• different thoughts,
• online therapy groups, and
• these shared photos.

This day will bring the coronavirus crisis and human behavior at its best and worst.

This day will bring this music:

This day, all your thoughts and feelings are welcome, as always.

This day, I have so much gratitude for all I have, including YOU.

Day 2670: Yesterday’s news

“Yesterday’s news” is a phrase that was defined this way, yesterday:

yesterday’s news
PHRASE

something that everyone already knows about and is no longer interested in.
“People who think the environment is yesterday’s news are wrong.”

Does COVID-19 meet the criteria for yesterday’s news?  Most people already know about it but interest remains high.

COVID-19 is yesterday’s news, today’s news, AND tomorrow’s news. I think we’re all looking forward to the time when COVID-19 will truly be yesterday’s news.

That time will come; we just don’t know when.

Around here, yesterday’s news included all this:

• I most likely have COVID-19, because I attended a group therapy conference in NYC where several people have tested positive,
• I’m continuing to run low-grade fevers,
• Michael is exhibiting no symptoms at all,
• Michael and I continue to self-quarantine (OF COURSE!),
• I am NOT short of breath, and
• people seem to have different opinions on whether we should get tested, at this point.

Do you see yesterday’s news in yesterday’s photos?

That rubber duck is yesterday’s news, because it first appeared in this blog post from the 2013 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which was A LOT of yesterdays ago. I’m glad we’re all still here, not much the worse for wear.

Here‘s “Yesterday” by the Beatles, who are definitely not yesterday’s news.

Any comment you leave, below, will be news to me.

My daily gratitude may be something everyone here already knows about, but I’m hoping you’re still interested in it, here and now.

 

Day 2607: Battles

This has been an interesting week here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, with titles including Day 2605: I’m so done, Day 2606: Antisocial, and now Day 2607: Battles.

Is this blog turning into The Year(s) of Living Combatively?

I don’t think so, but I have noticed a lot of battles around me lately.  Do you see evidence of that in these photos?

 

I fell asleep on the couch last night and missed the anticipated battle between Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders at the latest debate of Democrat Presidential hopefuls.

Here‘s “Cabinet Battle #1” from Hamilton:

What are your thoughts and feelings about battles?

I need to battle traffic to get to work on time, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

 

Day 2508: Celebrating mistakes

Yesterday, rather than hiding and denying mistakes (like others seem to do), I celebrated my mistakes by owning them, sharing them with others, and learning from them. One of my co-workers — who feels some worry and shame about their mistakes because of inexperience — texted me “You are a gift that keeps giving!” when I shared another mistake I had made.

Unless I am mistaken, I believe you might find some mistakes in some of my photos from yesterday.

Personally, I think it is a mistake to play hide and seek alone.

Let’s celebrate the late Ginger Baker with this video on YouTube (which may include mistakes):

Because I’m creating this post on my iPhone it may include my mistakes fusion mom. Ooops! Let me try that again. Because I’m creating this post on my iPhone, it may include more mistakes than usual.

Ending with gratitude is never a mistake, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — thanks to you.

Day 2495: Above all

Above all my other photos from yesterday, this one stood out to me:

Above all, we need to respect each other.

Above all, a good enough sense of safety allows us to trust other people and ourselves.

Above all of us is the sky.

Above all, I need to get to work on time today so I can do individual and group therapy for my patients, so here are all my other photos from yesterday:

 

Above all , which is your favorite photo from that batch?

Above all, I’m focusing on this one …

… because I used that image yesterday to reduce the power of a critical person, whom I used to call a “dragon.”  I figured if I could imagine them as a little yappy dog (instead of a dragon who can wreak lots of destruction and fiery havoc),  they would have less power over me. Above all, this technique worked!

Above all, what music should I choose for today’s post?

Above all, I assume my readers might choose Imagine by John Lennon.

 

Above all, I can’t resist also sharing this:

Above all, if you don’t like that, you can always turn it off.

Above all, please accept my gratitude, here and now.

 

 

Day 2488: Being here, being there

“Being here, being there” is something I wrote on the white-board wall while human beings were being here and there during a Coping and Healing group yesterday.

Being human beings, their thoughts went here and there to regrets, the past, the present, the future, work, other people’s reactions, progress, tears, fears, emotions, death, showing up, reservations, reasons, sleeping, bravery, speaking, not speaking, triggers, early, late, and choices, among other here-and-there meanderings.

Being that triggers were affecting all the human beings in the room, “triggers” ended up being the topic of choice, including what helps dealing with them:

Being there, I couldn’t help but notice that “YouTube” made it to the list of what helped those human beings deal with triggers (along with breathing, acceptance, self care, sleep, safe spaces, kindness, music, and other helpful choices).

Being here, I’ll search  for “being here, being there” on YouTube.

Here‘s “I Love Being Here With You” by singer/songwriter Peggy Lee.

I love being here with you, and I loved being there when I took all these other photos:

Being that you’re here, why not leave a comment?

Whether I’m being here or being there, I’m being thankful for all who help me create these posts and — of course! — for YOU, here and now.