Posts Tagged With: Home Depot

Day 2513: Looks can be deceiving.

Let’s look at the meaning of today’s title: “Looks can be deceiving.”

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—used to say that something can be very different from how it seems or appears to be
The restaurant doesn’t look very appealing, but looks can be deceiving/deceptive.

I think many things and people can be deceiving, especially these days.  I wish that those who are commenting on the deceiving people would focus less on their looks and more on their deeds. For example, I’m tired of hearing how

  • Rudy Giuliani looks like a ghoul or a vampire (even if these observations are appropriate to the season) and
  • Donald Trump looks like a cheeto or something else orange.

After all, looks can be deceiving.  I’m sure there are people out there looking like ghouls, vampires,  cheetos, or other odd-looking things who are honest, kind, and effective leaders.  Likewise, there are people out there who look great and are deceiving, manipulative, and scary.

So why do we focus so much on looks?

I looked online and found this 2009  New York Times article Yes, Looks Do Matter, which includes these words:

… many social scientists and others who study the science of stereotyping say there are reasons we quickly size people up based on how they look. Snap judgments about people are crucial to the way we function, they say — even when those judgments are very wrong.

On a very basic level, judging people by appearance means putting them quickly into impersonal categories, much like deciding whether an animal is a dog or a cat. “Stereotypes are seen as a necessary mechanism for making sense of information,” said David Amodio, an assistant professor of psychology at New York University. “If we look at a chair, we can categorize it quickly even though there are many different kinds of chairs out there.”

Eons ago, this capability was of life-and-death importance, and humans developed the ability to gauge other people within seconds.

Susan Fiske, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Princeton, said that traditionally, most stereotypes break down into two broad dimensions: whether a person appears to have malignant or benign intent and whether a person appears dangerous. “In ancestral times, it was important to stay away from people who looked angry and dominant,” she said.

Women are also subdivided into “traditionally attractive” women, who “don’t look dominant, have baby-faced features,” Professor Fiske said. “They’re not threatening.”

Indeed, attractiveness is one thing that can make stereotypes self-fulfilling and reinforcing. Attractive people are “credited with being socially skilled,” Professor Fiske said, and maybe they are, because “if you’re beautiful or handsome, people laugh at your jokes and interact with you in such a way that it’s easy to be socially skilled.”

“If you’re unattractive, it’s harder to get all that stuff because people don’t seek you out,” she said.

AGE plays a role in forging stereotypes, too, with older people traditionally seen as “harmless and useless,” Professor Fiske said. In fact, she said, research has shown that racial and ethnic stereotypes are easier to change over time than gender and age stereotypes, which are “particularly sticky.”

Since I’m an older woman, I have to work extra hard to prove that I am neither useless nor any other “particularly sticky” stereotype. I’m sure I’m not alone in needing to show that looks can be deceiving.

Let’s see if looks can be deceiving in any of my photos from yesterday.

Did you know that “Looks Can Be Deceiving” is on YouTube?

I’m not deceiving when I express my thanks to all who help me create these daily posts, including YOU.

 

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Day 2443: Mass shootings

This morning, I looked at the news with dread to find out more information about the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas.  After I found out more horrible details about that one, I saw that there had been another mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio.

For years, many people have presented credible cases on ways to reduce gun violence in the United States and polls indicate that most Americans agree with these changes.

And yet, the mass shootings go on.

What can we do?

This is what I do:

  • I write about it in my blog (even when it’s too much to process).
  • I ask for contributions to Everytown for Gun Safety on my birthday and today.
  • I vote for people who share my views about gun violence.
  • I support my son in attending a University outside of the United States, partly because I believe he is safer there.
  • I encourage the acceptance and love of the different parts of each human being and the different parts of the human race.

I also distract myself from this horrific violence in my country by taking photos of other things.

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It’s an uphill climb to find a solution for uncontrolled violence; I hope we find it fast.

Here’s “Mass Shootings: When words fail”  featuring Steve Hartman and The Onion:

 

Thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog post and — of course — to you, for being here, now.

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Categories: blogging, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 2328: A Year of No Worry

Yesterday, when I was at Home Depot with Michael, we had a conversation about worry. Don’t worry, I’m going to share it.

Michael:You know,  I’m always happy when I’m at Home Depot. So I’ve decided to not worry about anything for a year. I’m not going to worry about the repair to the plumbing  I’ll be doing with these supplies and all the other home projects I’m planning.  And no matter what’s going on in the news, I’m just not going to worry. I’ll worry about everything a year from now.

Me:  That’s great! I’m going to join you in that pledge.  So no more worrying until a year from today.  That will be easy to remember, too, because it’s National Sibling Day.

When we were at the cash register buying the plumbing supplies, I told a a helpful employee about our year of no worry and invited her to join us.  She said, “Gee. I don’t know. It’s my job to worry.”  I invited her to realize that there’s a difference between worry and planning ( as well as a difference between worry and helping).  She said, “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

I’m not going to worry about that interaction or any other personal interaction for a year.  Yay!

Does anybody reading this want to join Michael and me in A Year of No Worry? I unworriedly recommend it. For example, I have no worries about the photos I have to share with you today.

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I’m not going to worry about anything in those photos including that black hole, especially since worry can be a black hole.

Here’s a song about not worrying:

I’m not gonna let anything bother or worry me until April 10, 2020. And don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated on my and Michael’s progress in this blog.

Thanks to all who helped me create this “A Year of No Worry”  post and — of course! — YOU.

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Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Day 1965: Finding room for you, me and the stuff

Yesterday, in a welcoming room in Newton Massachusetts, I was finding this, among other stuff:

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I love finding things, knowing that there’s always room for you, me and the stuff here.

Whatever stuff there is, it’s smart not to stuff it.  There’s room for you and me to express our stuff, no matter how smelly and improper that stuff might be. Don’t forget:  we can always choose to let our stuff go.

I’m now finding room for all the other stuff in yesterday’s photos.

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I’m finding welcome room for my stuff here, even when I don’t know what it is (like the stuff in that last photo).

Here‘s room for George Carlin to talk about stuff.

You’ll be finding room for comments, below.

As always, I’m finding room for thanks to Newton, George Carlin, stuff, and YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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