Day 3288: Closure and moving on

Last night — to get some closure for 2021 while moving on to 2022 — I asked this question on Twitter:

This was a rather controversial question — some people objected to the concept of closure as a possibility or even as a helpful concept. As long as we have pain and memory, how can we truly get closure?

Recognizing that there is no perfect or complete closure, I had actually rewritten that question many times before posting it. Here are some other versions of the question that I considered:

What helps you get good-enough closure to move on to the next thing?

What helps you move on to the next thing?

What helps you move on?

That last one was simpler (and brevity can be the soul of wit), but those other versions didn’t really capture what I was trying to express for the end of one year and the beginning of another. I also considered using the term “radical acceptance” instead of “closure.”

I settled on the question I posted because I, personally, do feel some need for closure before moving on to the next thing. For example, I feel the need today to acknowledge the end of my 9th year of this daily blog, thus moving on to my 10th (way beyond my expectations when I started this on 1/1/13).

In my therapy groups, I give people the room to get a good enough sense of closure before we end the session. Since 2020, I’ve been pointing out in these groups that the lack of closure about the pandemic is incredibly stressful, so that getting some measure of closure about anything can be helpful and healing.

Closure, in my mind, is neither tidy nor final. For those of us dealing with trauma or grief, we will never lose the memories or be totally free of the pain of the losses.

I think of closure as putting the period on the end of a sentence before moving on to the next one. Doing that neither wipes out nor reduces the importance and power of the previous sentences. And I do believe that we can benefit from those “periods” — otherwise life can feel like a run-on sentence with little room to breath, pause, and get some measure of peace.

Do you see any closure and/or moving on in my other images for today?

I need to get some measure of closure about the death of Betty White yesterday, so here’s a tribute to her:

Expressing gratitude at the end of every blog post allows me to get the closure I need to move on, so thanks to Betty White and to all who are here, now, including YOU.

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism, tribute | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

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19 thoughts on “Day 3288: Closure and moving on

  1. Some things hurt forever. People get impatient if you haven’t gotten closure on their timetable. You can move ahead and incorporate the pain into your existence, it may lessen but grief especially can resurface unexpectedly.

  2. Great food for thought Ann! Don’t you just love seeing how everyone responds! All depending on their story and expansion of consciousness or not! I suppose I use the word acceptance, rather than closure, as when I can accept my experience I find it easier to move on. Not that I’ve finished dealing with it, cause that’s going to take as long as it takes till I get the message🤣😂. But I can accept it for what it is and live with it, work with it until I no longer need it in my life. Thankyou for your inspirations and wisdom Ann, here’s to enjoying a great 2022 all together. love Barbara x

  3. The word closure has taken on such gravitas in our society, Ann, pinned to the deepest feelings about the end of marriages, lifetimes of loved ones, longtime jobs …
    Moving from one calendar year to the next is big, yes, but a ritual we embark on every 12 months, so I somehow feel a bit less need for closure and a bit more need for hopeful reset and resolution.
    Happy New Year to you, Michael, Aaron, Joan and Harley.
    Yes, my dear wife Karen and I did have a good talk last night about how the death of beloved Betty White closed certain chapters in our lives!

  4. Congratulations on starting another year of blogging. Blessings and creativity to you this — and every — year!

  5. happy for you to have reached 10 and onward and up! we close things and accept them each in our own time and place and I have learned to do them when I feel ready and able and not before. I tend to reach this point through a epiphany or event or person who crosses paths with me and there is not accounting for the timeline and then it happens and there is no going back.

  6. To get closure I guess we first have to be open. Open to giving and receiving, open to accepting difference and new things, open to love. That makes you, Ann, a purveyor and facilitator of both openness and closure. That is some responsibility you have!

  7. Closure for me is like putting a book you have read back on the shelf. 2021 is on the shelf, and I can revisit it if and when I need to.
    Happy New Year Ann 🎉🙏🎈

  8. puella33

    I feel more need for motivation than closure, probably because the past , to some degree , is what defines us. Happy New Year, Ann

  9. I don’t think that I consciously give closure to something, as memories are recurring events in one’s life, ‘closure’ is probably used symbolically as a friendly word to ‘move on’. Singing bowls help with meditation and OM mantras:

  10. Well, I’m so glad to see you will continue to share your Daily Bitch! It never fails to make me smile. 🙂

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