Day 1294: Alone/Connected

When I was a little kid, I spent a lot of time in hospitals, because of my unusual heart.  Because hospitals didn’t have the heart they have now, they did not allow my parents to spend the night with me.  As a result, I  was frightened and alone, during a time I especially needed to feel connected and protected.

As I’ve grown, I’ve known, intellectually, that I am not alone. But the feelings from childhood persist.

As I’m typing this post now, alone, I’m realizing that I am probably less alone, here and now, than I’ve ever been in my life because of friends, family, doctors, and connections through WordPress.

And yet, it’s so easy for all those people to vanish from my consciousness, leaving  behind that old childhood “knowledge”  of being alone.

Whenever I experience a hospital stay — as I did last week — those feelings of aloneness get retriggered.  Like many other people,  when I feel vulnerable, sick, and in unfamiliar surroundings, I can be much more aware of my aloneness than of  my connectedness with others.  There is something about being alone in a hospital room, listening to the sounds of machines that measure your breathing and pulse, that can bring on a stark sense of isolation.

And yet, even in the hospital, there are always moments when I KNOW I am not alone. Those moments of connectedness include my time on WordPress, every day.

Thanks to my readers, for always reminding me that I am NOT alone.

Yesterday, I felt well enough to go for a walk alone.

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When I took every picture yesterday, I felt connected, even when I was alone.

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Is there one picture, alone, that stands out for you, as THE image for today’s post?

Originally, I thought I was going to include one musical number, alone:

 

But my own photos inspired  me to connect  to this number

 

and this one:

 

Thanks to all those who helped me connect and feel less alone today, including you!!!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

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36 thoughts on “Day 1294: Alone/Connected

  1. Blazing Saddles was one of my favorite movies! It always made me laugh. Those “triggers” that take us back and bring us back to other times are always tricky to deal with I find. I thought of this song after reading your post

  2. I am so not alone! Ten of us are in this house for family vacation! I often retreat to my bedroom, the sun porch, to be alone, but it is the walkway between the living room and deck, so there is little alone time here!
    When I go back to Arizona, I will spend a wonderful day or two in a house on a big, big ranch and get some very delicious alone time.

  3. Wonderful photos, Ann. Who made the cookies? Quite an enticing and creative collection.And the flowers you saw on your walk are lovely and hopeful.I hope that you are not feeling alone today, Ann.

    I was hospitalized for a couple of weeks when I was two years old and a bit. In those days, parents couldn’t visit very often and, in any case, I spent much of the time in an oxygen tent. The Easter bunny came and scared the heck out of me. I have hated pastel candy Easter eggs ever since. I remember lying there all alone, because I was supposed to. (If it had been my brother in that bed, I am sure he would have escaped the tent in a few minutes and begun doing something fun, like sticking pennies into the electrical sockets, but it never crossed my mind to get out of bed.)

    After three years or so of reading your blog, I finally realize what that feeling was, that I had in the hospital. It was the feeling of being alone. Even when the nurses were in the room, they were on the other side of the plastic oxygen tent wall. I was alone, and I really had no idea why. I have carried that feeling all my life, but only now do I draw the line between that powerful early experience and the feeling that I carry almost always. Viewing the world from inside a plastic oxygen tent, like an alien.

    Thank you for helping me learn this, Ann.

    • I never feel alone when you’re around, Maureen. The cookies were made by a local bakery; I chose that collection when I was alone on my walk.

  4. You may not feel alone Ann, you have your amazing beauties 😀
    And your post showed up in my Reader today 🙂

  5. You are never really alone Ann, because you have a soul. I think fear triggers the feelings of being alone, You seem to be doing a wonderful job of chasing the fear away, and we are all here to help.

    Loved your post today and the music. Keep well you are not alone ever. :o)

  6. Just curious… Why Blazing Saddles?

    • I have more than one reason, alone: (1) It’s one of my favorite movies, (2) It was on TV yesterday and I loved re-watching it, and (3) Sheriff Bart feels alone and connected in very profound ways.

  7. Blazing Saddles is a great movie to watch alone .. Or within someone else with a quirky sense of humor 😍
    Sending you a virtual ((hug)) Ann.
    I’m grateful to have you in my circle too.
    Xoxo

  8. Strawberries on pizza???? hmmmm….Maybe a little bit of alone is ok 😉

  9. Even before people fully understood what the heart did it was considered a center of feeling. Thinking about your unusual heart I realized how wise this is. Every heart is the center of a network that reaches every part of the body.
    Blazing Saddles is a perfect choice of movies because it’s about people learning to connect to each other and realizing how connected they are.
    And we are all connected. Even Christopher, who only pawn in game of life.

  10. Hospitals scare me always. I can very much relate how being with those machines can aggravate the sense of isolation. I hope being connected with friends family and WordPress helps you feel better. 🙂 And you captured really nice pics during your walks. I will tell you a Limerick I read today and it made me smile.- ” There was an old man from Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe, He woke in a fright, In the middle of the night, And found it was perfectly true!” 🙂 Stay well!

  11. I can’t decide–there are so many great pictures! And you’re never alone–you have all of us!!

  12. It’s pretty comical that your cat feels perfectly safe under the exercise equipment! Maybe I am attracted to the cookies that I would munch while I’m alone, with a cup of tea, while I avoid the exercise machine and read your blog, together with all your other blog reading friends.

  13. Insightful post and fun pictures. Come visit my blog today!

    • That’s so kind of you, Jacob! I never turn down an invitation to connect on WordPress, and I’m very glad I visited. ❤

  14. Have to say this, in days gone by what the hell did medical professionals think, why on earth would anyone think it would be a good idea to leave a sick child alone in a hospital but yeah it happened but I will always wonder what the hell those people were thinking.

    • You are not alone, my dear Joanne, in wondering WHAT THE HELL THOSE PEOPLE WERE THINKING. I am always so glad to connect with you, here. ❤

  15. JOY! to the ability and desire to go for a walk alone, knowing you are never alone. ❤

  16. I would live to try that pizza!

  17. How could you feel alone? I was next door with my patients, how could I miss you being the only Kitty MD at your hospital.

  18. I feel very connected to you and delight right now!

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