Day 2876: What you didn’t get

At the end of my Coping and Healing groups, I invite people to think about what they didn’t get, because

• nobody gets all their needs met in a group therapy session,
• if they identify what they didn’t get, they can think about where else they might get those needs met (perhaps in a future Coping and Healing group, perhaps elsewhere),
• that’s my way of letting them know that all of their feelings, including disappointment, are welcome, and
• identifying what you didn’t get (along with identifying what you DID get) are important parts of getting closure, which allows you to move more smoothly to what’s next.

Whenever there is an election or any other major transitioning point, people don’t get all their needs met. As we can see in the news, reactions to that include

• anger,
• fear,
• joy,
• sadness,
• hope,
• disappointment, and
• denial.

Here’s what I didn’t get from the recent USA election: any indication that the twin threats of the coronavirus and the economic recession will be addressed effectively before the end of the year. I also didn’t get the answer to which party will control the Senate. What I DID get was relief about changes in leadership ahead.

What you haven’t gotten in this post, so far, are my photos from yesterday.

What Harley didn’t get yesterday was all the food he wanted. He seems okay with that, though.

Here’s a recent performance of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones.

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need (and I need your comments about this what-you-didn’t-get post).

What you do get here is gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 801: How to ask for what you need.

1. Identify, as clearly as possible in the moment, what you need.
2. Identify who is most likely to help you get that need met.
3. Let go of any worries and concerns about what might happen if you ask for what you need.
4. Ask.
5. If you don’t get what you need, ask again.
6. If you don’t get what you need after asking somebody again, ask somebody else.
7. If nobody is giving you what you asked for, consider whether you are asking the best people and whether you are asking clearly.
8. Ask again.
9. If asking others is still not yielding satisfactory results, consider ways to meet that need on your own.
10. Let go of any negative thoughts or shame that came up for you, in steps 1 – 9.

Lately, I’ve been asking for what I need in many areas, including:

• Help with my taxes. 
• Decisions about my health. 
• Singing at a party, next week. 

Here are some photos I took yesterday to meet my needs, without asking. 

Here’s a song about needing and wanting:

If you need or want to see The Rolling Stones performing “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,”  you can ask for that on YouTube.

I hope you ask for what you need, after reading this post.

I need to thank all those who helped me create this post today, especially the wonderful people at Tufts Medical Center and Beacon Hill Dental Associates, who met my very important need yesterday of getting my teeth cleaned. I also want to thank the Charles Street area of Boston MA USA, PetSmart, Staples, the Rolling Stones, and — of course! — you, my readers, whom I need (in case you need to ask).