Day 904: Free Associations

Did you know that some  psychological tests ask people to make free associations with pictures?

What associations do you have with this photo, which I took early yesterday morning?

What thoughts and/or feelings do you have  when you look at that image?

Here’s my first association, when I look at that:

Don’t drop the ball.

I wonder how a psychologist might interpret that first reaction from me?

Wait! I’m not a psychologist, but I am a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW), which means I’m a legit psychotherapist. Therefore, I could interpret my own interpretation  — that is, explore what’s going on in my life to explain why

Don’t drop the ball

… immediately popped into my head when I saw that yesterday.  However, I’d rather just riff on the meaning of “Don’t drop the ball.”

To me,

Don’t drop the ball

… means “take your responsibility for getting things done. ”

Here’s my free association with that thought: Why would dropping a ball be so terrible? If I do drop a ball, I could always just pick it up again.

Yesterday, I probably did drop a ball or two. We all do, because we’re imperfect human beings. However, I also did my best to pick those balls up again.

Here’s my current free association, as I’m writing this: I wonder if anybody is smiling at my use of the word “balls”?

Speaking of smiling, soon after I took my first  photo of the day yesterday (see above), I took this one:

Here’s my free association with that photo: soon after I took it,  I dropped the ball of my concentration as I was walking, tripped, and fell to the ground.

What’s your free association about tripping and falling in public?

Yesterday, I tried to fall as well as possible, and then I tried to let go of any sense of shame about falling. I sat there on the ground for a moment, realizing I most likely had not hurt myself (even though I take a blood thinner and recently had surgery).

A construction worker (not pictured in this post) walked by me and we had this exchange, while I was  sitting on the ground:

Construction worker: Are you all right?
Me: I’m okay. That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it?
Construction worker: I actually didn’t see it. I thought you might just be sitting here. But I did hear the noise.

(As I’m telling you this story, I’m free associating about what noise he might have heard. I know it wasn’t my voice — I don’t cry out when I drop anything, including myself.)

Then, the nice construction worker helped me up, as I made some comment about falling.

Construction worker: It happens.
Me: I know.

Soon after that, I free associated as to why  I might have tripped,  fallen, and dropped to the ground for the very first time in all my walks to work — through rain, snow, sleet, and sun  — for almost four years. I free associated the fall with my brand new shoes:

I also free associated by taking two photos of the one place on myself that had dropped most heavily on the ground, my right hand:

I wondered if that would bruise by the end of the day, because I’m taking Xarelto.

Then, I free-associated the rest of the day, regarding

Dropping and picking up the ball (and other things)

… and I freely picked up these photos, so I could drop them on you today:

              

                      

Here are my current free associations with those photos:

1. The sunglasses are something my friend Jan found and picked up on a street in Maine, this past weekend, and
2. That last photo demonstrates that I did not bruise, at all, from my morning drop to the ground.

What music might I free associate with, about balls dropping or anything else I dropped in this post?

This tune just dropped into my head:

I just dropped “Cloudy” by Simon & Garfunkel on you, here and now.

Freely associate about anything you choose, in the comments below.

Free-association thanks to all those who helped me drop this post and thanks to you — of course! — for dropping by, today.

Day 658: Missing and Coming Back

This morning, I’m thinking about things I miss and things that come back.

Some things I miss are not coming back, including the special enchiladas I enjoyed for over twenty-five years at a favorite Mexican restaurant, which is now under different management.

Hmmmm. I thought I’d think of more things I miss that are not coming back, but — for some reason — none of them are coming back to me, right now.

Maybe that’s because I’ve been missing some sleep lately. Any sleep we miss does not come back, I know.

However, some things I miss do come back.

For example, some days ago I wrote about this minor loss: a magazine I’ve subscribed to for many years has changed its format and altered its contents.

When I searched Google for an image of that magazine, the old format I miss just came back to me:

Here’s the new format:

It wasn’t so much the old format I’ve been missing, but some of my favorite puzzles. In that most recent edition, much to my delighted surprise — one of my favorite puzzles came back!

This is what happens, around here, when I try to take photos in the middle of the night (and other times, too).  Here’s an unobstructed shot of my beloved Cryptolists:

It’s coming back to me how much gratitude I can feel when something I miss comes back.

It’s also coming back to me that I decided, last night, to take my anticoagulant medication …

… during breakfast, instead of dinner, from now on.* It’s also coming back to me how my boyfriend, Michael, and my son, Aaron, talked to me,  over dinner last night, about ways I might remember to take that one, daily pill, which needs to be taken with food and that comprises all the medication I need to take, at age 61, with my very complicated medical history. Why did the three of us have that discussion last night?  Because it wasn’t coming back to me, while we were eating dinner, whether I had taken my pill.

It’s also coming back to me how much I’ve hated taking medication, since I was a little girl.

Something else that comes back to me, right now:  I truly believe that taking the anti-coagulant with breakfast will come back to me, very easily.

What else comes back (to me and to others)?

• Boomerangs
• People (usually)
• Memories (often in altered forms)
• Blog readers I haven’t seen for a while (sometimes)
• Endocarditis (PLEASE, NEVER AGAIN!!)
• Unhelpful thought patterns (and ways to challenge and change those)
• Colds
• Cold weather
• Friends
• Cats

Which reminds me of a song:

According to that  YouTube video description of “The Cat Came Back,”  that’s a “Classic Canadian Cartoon.”  It’s not coming back to me, whether I’ve seen that before.

Somebody I’ve missed listening to — Garrison Keillor —  sang “The Cat Came Back” when I first heard it, if my memory is coming back to me accurately.  However, this is all that comes back for “Cat Came Back Garrison Keillor” on YouTube:

How about this?

Or this?

Is anything, in particular, coming back for you, now?

Thanks to Michael, to Aaron, to cats, to any creature who helped me write this post,  and to all those who came (back) to read this blog today, including — of course! — you.

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*  I sent an email to my Primary Care doctor about this change after I published this post. The email that came back explained  why a pill with dinner is better than a pill with breakfast:  this medication would miss having food in the stomach for absorption.  I will go back, as directed. I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to remind my readers: check all medication changes with your doctor!