Posts Tagged With: worrying

Day 1829: Worry vs. Planning

I didn’t plan to write about this today, but no worries.

In therapy, we often talk about reducing worry. A lot of people believe that worry is an essential part of planning. They confuse worry with planning and have trouble separating the two.

I suggest to people that

  • you can plan without worrying and
  • worry doesn’t help with anything, including planning.

Yesterday, we made a list of Worry vs. Planning:

IMG_6188

I wasn’t planning to put that list in this blog so I didn’t write neatly.  I’m not worrying about that.

You might not have planned to think about this today, but what do you think are the differences between worry and planning?

Here are some other unplanned photos from yesterday:

IMG_6189

 

IMG_6187

IMG_6186

 

IMG_6190

IMG_6191

 

I didn’t plan on sleeping late this morning, but I did.  I’m not going to worry about that, either. I’m just going to quickly find a video for this post, publish it, and get ready for work.

 

I always plan to thank everybody who helps me create these posts and who reads them. These days, I’m not worrying about how I express my gratitude — I just do it.

IMG_6171

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, therapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Day 241: No worries

I like that phrase, “no worries.”

I’ve heard and read that several times, recently. I’ve started saying it, too.

I believe that worry does not help us.

It does not spur us to action.

It does not solve problems.

It’s the mental equivalent of this:

Image

Last night, at dinner, I said to my boyfriend Michael, “I have a lot of things coming up SOON that tend to make me anxious: a presentation at work, the beginning of a new school year, blah blah blah.*

“I would like to make this commitment  to you.  And to all these other witnesses.” (I gestured to the soy sauce and the other inhabitants of the dinner table.)

“I want to Not Feel Anxious for the next 10 days.”

Michael asked me how I was going to do that.  I said, “I don’t know.  Just NOT do it.  Notice it and put it aside.  Say to myself, ‘Sorry!  That’s not allowed!'”

Michael and I talked about I’ve used this assignment at work: “Scheduling worry.” That is,  I tell people to schedule a time, each week, for worrying (Thursday at 6 PM, say). Then, when worry comes up during other times, they say to themselves, “Nope!  This isn’t the time for that. I’ve got that scheduled for Thursday, at 6 PM.” (Then, when Thursday at 6 comes along, the assignment is to “worry as hard as you possibly can.”)

However, I don’t want to schedule worry.

I just want a break for 10 days.

Michael said he would like to join me in this.  (The soy sauce was noncommittal.)

Would you like to join me, too?

Thanks to small animals who are doing their best to get somewhere, condiments everywhere,  worriers, warriors, and to you, too, for reading today.

________________________________________________

*I actually said, “blah blah blah.”  I like that phrase, too.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Day 40: I’ve been waking up around 3:30 AM throughout this vacation

This is today’s topic, which will be short (I hope!)  because (1) I’m starting  this post (about waking up around 3:30 AM) at around 4 AM  and (2) I’m selfish.

And what I mean by “selfish” is this. Each and every time I write a post in the blog, I try to focus on my own needs. That is, I try to write something that’s going to help me in my quest to learn and grow throughout this Year of Living Non-Judgmentally. Whenever I write one of these daily blog posts, I try to remember to ask myself this question: “What would help me to write about, right now?”

Oh, no!  I want to write a short blog post, but I’ve broached two possibly helpful topics, already: (1) How it helps to balance your needs with other people’s needs and (2) how to deal with waking up in the middle of the night.

How can I remain true to the intent of this blog post AND still keep it short?

How about this? I’ll just write down some random thoughts, and assume that will be “good enough” for this dead-of-night blog post.

Random Thoughts

I think I’m waking up around 3:30 AM throughout this vacation because I’m sleeping in strange beds.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I know that I will stay awake longer if I start thinking about Things That Feel Unfinished.  Or worries about the future.

And I did have some worries when I woke up this morning around 3:30 AM.

Some Things I’m Worried About

I’m worried that the storm is going to delay my return until Monday afternoon, and make me a day late coming back to work.

I’m worried about rescheduling all the people who were planning on seeing me on my first day back.

My schedule can get REALLY packed, these days.  That also worries me.

I’m worried that, instead of the ‘”easy” transition I had planned for my return on a Friday, I will be stressed out by needing to come back to work the very next day.

And this will probably add to my stress: I’ll be having a more arduous return flight than originally scheduled, since I’m going to have a more-than-two-hour overlay in Atlanta that day.

But you know what?  As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I’m doing the cognitive distortion of Fortune Telling. (And none of us can predict the future, no matter how intuitive we think we are.)   And I’m getting away from what I encourage other people to do, because I know these things can help.

Some things I encourage others (and myself) to do.

Be in the moment, as much as you can, because that helps.

Let go of fears and worries about the future, because those don’t help.

Okay.

It helped me to write this blog post.

So, mission accomplished.

I am now going to turn off this computer and try to get back to sleep.

Thanks for reading, everybody.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.