Posts Tagged With: WordPress

Day 2288: Open

As you open today’s daily blog, what are you open to? Are you open to new information?  Challenges to your assumptions?  Dissenting and different opinions? Difficult experiences?  Transforming old and unhelpful patterns of thoughts and behaviors?  Balancing your needs with other people’s needs? Self care and care for others? Whimsy? Wonder? Curiosity? Trying new things?

Yesterday, I was open to meeting wonderful WordPress blogger Debra in Los Angeles during an opening in my group therapy conference schedule.  We were both open to hugging each other, even though we had never met outside the blogosphere before. Debra brought me a present which I was happy to open and we were both open to accepting help from a stranger to take a photo. We  talked about the importance of remaining open to  multitudes of opportunity for change and growth throughout our lives.  I opened up with Debra and told her that I look for the word “open” when I’m open to capturing images with my camera.

After I met Debra, I was open to attending the Friday night dance of dozens of group therapists at the conference I’m attending. I expected to be too exhausted to stay long, but I love to dance, so I was open to getting on the dance floor when invited.  I was open to the surprising realization that I was able to keep up with the other dancing group therapists for over an hour, despite health challenges and my age.

Are you open to seeing all my photos from yesterday?

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That’s Erica, an incoming President from another local affiliate of the American Group Psychotherapy Association, who was open to posing with me and a flamingo last night at the dance. Erica is open to receiving my daily blog in her email but I don’t know how often she opens it. Erica seemed open to the idea that we both use the image above for our official presidential photos.

What YouTube music video would you like to open this morning? I am open to learning that  Van Morrison and Pete Townsend wrote and sing different songs about how love can open the door to your heart (here and here).

I am open to reading any comment you make, below.

I may not open these posts with gratitude but I always close with thanks to those who help me create this blog and the sweet wonderful people  who read it (including Debra, Erica, and YOU)!

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Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Day 2038: I give up!

In the last two thousand and thirty-eight days of blogging and living, I have never said, written, or thought, “I give up!” Today, I am saying, writing, and thinking it. Why? Because starting yesterday, every time I use my laptop to try to create a new blog post, contact WordPress support, or do many other essential tasks, all WordPress gives me is this unhelpful, unchanging screen:

That gives me nothing and no way to post or to get help.

I’ve given this a lot of time and many attempts at solving this. My mind is giving me no more ideas and options.

I give up!

But I can NOT give up blogging, no matter how many new obstacles life gives me, because this blog and my readers give me so much.

So how can I keep giving myself and my readers more daily gifts?

My phone does not give me the ability to contact WordPress for help, but it does give me the ability to create a new post.

So I can give you, today, this daily blog and give you my latest photos.

Harley is obscured there, just like solutions to my blogging problem are hidden from me now. Is it curtains for my blog? Or will some solution become clear and emerge?

Is there a recipe of steps that will give me back the ability to blog from my laptop? If not, maybe I can give myself comfort with the delicious food Michael gives me.

Maybe some computer genius, somewhere, will give me some solution to my WordPress problem. If not, I’ll just keep blogging, giving up disappointment and judgment.

This is the kind of look I give the world when I’ve had no sleep the night before. I’m going to give my haircutter, Mia, a look at this photo the next time I see her, so she can give me a similar haircut next time.

Even if nobody can give me the answer on how to blog again on my laptop, my phone will be just that good as my daily blogging machine.

I give my patients the choice of five “Coping and Healing” groups every week. This gives me tremendous satisfaction.

If you were lost in the woods — of WordPress or elsewhere — and it got dark, what would you do? I’ll give you all the time you need to think about that.

Michael keeps giving us amazing meals — that’s the one he gave us last night before we gave my son Aaron a ride to the airport.

I took this photo to give me a clue about how to find my car in the enormous and confusing parking lot at the airport, which always gives me a headache.

After I took that picture, we did not give up when we were told that Aaron needed a printed-out visa to board his flight to India, even though a website had given him the erroneous information that he could board by giving the visa information on his phone. Michael and Aaron gave me his bags to watch while they ran to the Hilton Hotel, which had printers which gave Aaron what he needed.

I give up trying to explain that any better.

Is it time for you to give up some comments below?

First, give it up for Jason Mraz performing “I Won’t Give Up.”

I now give up thanks for all people, animals, and things that help me create this daily blog, despite all the obstacles life gives me.

… “You’re golden!”

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

Day 45: Mistakes, where art thou sting?

I woke up early this morning, with the title of this post in my head.

And I understand why.  Over the last couple of days, the few times I have felt bad, it’s been because I’ve believed that I have made …..

A MISTAKE.

(Imagine very, very scary music here) (perhaps written by Bernard Hermann, John Williams, or another film composer who has written very, very scary music.)

And I thought it was interesting that this particular title came up for me, because here is the original quote:

Oh, death, where art thou sting?

which is apparently from the bible. (I looked it up.)

So it’s interesting to me that the original quote was about death.

Because THAT’S how scary it can feel to me, when I make a mistake.

I will try to make this blog post short (although, probably, not quite as short as yesterday’s post), because I would like to go back to sleep.  I WILL try to complete it in about 30 minutes, no matter what the length.

I would just like to mention Two Dread Mistakes I’ve made in the last two days, at which I  (literally) went cold, when I realized what I had done:

Dread Mistake # 1

The day I got back to work, one of the other social workers at the hospital, named Tom, wrote an e-mail to all the other therapists there, asking if people could recommend a psychiatrist for a patient of his to see.  There was a typo in his e-mail, so instead of “I am seeking a psychiatrist for a woman,” he wrote, “I am seeing a psychiatrist for a woman.”  And I got a kick out of that, and wrote him an e-mail back, pointing that out to him.

In that e-mail I wrote him, I  also told him that I loved that typo, and it helped me, because I always felt bad after I had sent an e-mail and realized that I had made a typo.  So I told him he had made my day.  And when I sent my e-mail, I specifically made sure to send it only to him, rather than press “Reply All.”   I didn’t want to point out his mistake to everybody — that seemed snarky and ungenerous.  I just wanted to communicate with him about it.

So, later that day, my supervisor at work told me that she had received my e-mail, too.  And I couldn’t believe it. I figured that mistake was due to (1) all my Windows programs at work being updated a few days before I left, which has been confusing the hell out of me and (2) the fact that I was soooo exhausted my first day back at work.

And I felt AWFUL.  And I knew my feeling that way was all out of proportion to the Sin that I Had Committed (which was negligible).  But I just … could … not … shake … that …. feeling.   And I tried, really hard, because my supervisor told me this right before we started conducting an interview with an intern, who is going to work with me next year.

Before and after the interview, my supervisor helped me deal with my … shame, I guess, about this mistake. She knows me well enough to have seen me struggle with mistakes. And, we actually told the intern we were interviewing (who was great, by the way) about how I was worrying about this dopey mistake I had made, and how my supervisor and I — and other therapists in the department — were learning how to deal with our own perfectionism.

So, after the interview,  my supervisor and I discussed how I could feel better about this mistake I had made, of broadcasting my reply to Tom’s e-mail to dozens of other people.  I called Tom and left him a message, letting him know how I had accidentally pressed “Reply All.”

And,  he wrote me a very gracious, sweet, and funny e-mail back, telling me he liked my e-mail, that a lot of people had pointed out his mistake to him, and that it was all fine.

Dread Mistake #2

Hey!  This one relates to my blog post, from yesterday.  I wrote that post at 7 PM last night, when I was tired and hungry.  I almost titled it “The 30-minute Blog,” because I wanted to “get it over with” quickly, so I could go out to dinner.

And I DID write that post in about 30 minutes, and I felt a  feeling of satisfaction about that. And I thought the post was fine. So I was really glad when I pressed the “publish” button.

Then, at dinner, I checked the post briefly and realized …

(more scary film music, perhaps Bernard Hermann again, with shrieking violins, like from “Psycho”)

… that the post hadn’t really published, even though I had gotten the “You Published 43 Posts” message back from WordPress.

This has happened to me before.  I think if I have two windows open while I’m writing, and I publish the post from the second window I’ve opened, it doesn’t work. Instead, it saves the draft.

So I KNEW that all I needed to do was to republish the post from the saved draft, when I got home. But I HATED that I had screwed up (with a computer, again! just like with Dread Mistake #1). I pictured people who follow my blog getting an e-mail (or seeing the post published on my Facebook page), clicking the link, and then receiving an error message about an empty post ( like what I saw when I checked at dinner).

And, again, I worked hard at letting go of the bad feeling, recognizing — rationally — that I was over-reacting. I realized that,  honestly, who would care?  This was no big deal and quite fixable, within an hour or so.

So, there are my confessions, about my two dread mistakes.

And I’m letting go of shame, right now, about how I can get so upset about such trivial mistakes.

And I’m working on this, dear reader, throughout this Year of Living Non-Judgmentally.  I’m working on this, really hard.

And I’m definitely making progress.

You know, I wrote a chapter about Mistakes in the book I’m working on.  (Possible title of that chapter: “Mistakes Won’t Kill You.”)  And I talk to people about mistakes, in my work, a lot.  And I know I’m not alone in beating myself up about mistakes.

I know I’ve written about mistakes in earlier blog posts here, but you know what? I’m not going to look at my past blog posts right now and provide some links.

This post doesn’t need to be perfect.

And neither do I.

And neither do you, dear reader.

Done! Back to sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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