Day 2745: First guess, best guess

What’s your first guess about why today’s post is titled “First guess, best guess”? Let’s find out if it’s the best guess.

Since the first day I met my best friend/husband Michael, he’s been saying, “First guess, best guess.”

One of my other best friends wrote to me the other day, when I felt insecure about how I had run a board meeting:  “I’m not sure 2nd guessing is helpful.”

Is it your first guess, best guess that both those pieces of advice — “First guess, best guess” and “I’m not sure 2nd guessing is helpful” — mean the same thing?

I love guessing and I don’t stop with my first guess. If I DID stop with my first guess, our ailing and adorable cat Oscar would not be alive today.  Also, Michael’s first guess was that the Social Security office had his correct birthday on file and they did NOT.  My next guess about filing our taxes is that we’ll have to do that by mail, which is not exactly a catastrophe (although my first guess — when the IRS rejected our e-filing this weekend because Michael’s birthday on the form did not match Social Security’s record — was that it WAS a catastrophe).

Catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion (which we talk about in my Coping and Healing groups) where our first guess is that a catastrophe is imminent, even though it isn’t.

Since catastrophizing is a first guess, not best guess, I’m now guessing that “first guess, best guess” is not always best.

However, my first guess about Michael, when I first met him on okCupid, was that he was a wonderful person I wanted in my life.  I’ve had similar first guess, best guesses about other people, including the other best friend I quoted above.

My best guess about guesses, here and now, is that it’s best to trust our intuition AND also be open to new evidence that comes along.

What’s your first guess, best guess about what’s next in this blog post?

If you guessed photos, your first guess was the best!

In today’s Daily Bitch Calendar, auto-correct’s first guess was not the best guess.

This is the first song I heard by The Guess Who, which I think is their best:

My first guess was that the title of that song was “She’s Come Undone” but my best guess is that it is “Undun.”

My first guess, best guess is that there will be great comments about today’s post.

First guess, best guess, constant guess is to express gratitude every day.

Day 2084: Second guessing

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote Day 1714: Second guessing. So this is my second post about second guessing. I’m guessing it won’t be my last.

A few seconds before my therapy group started yesterday, one of the members tripped and fell. As the other group members witnessed spilled coffee, blood, and first responders in the hospital reacting to the situation, people were second guessing their own and others’ actions.

In the group (after the injured member had been tended to by expert personnel), we discussed the flight-fight-or-freeze response,  trauma, guilt, self-judgment,  doing too much, doing too little, What’s the right thing to do?, selfishness, selflessness, empathy, looking, intrusiveness, how time stretches out during emergencies, different perceptions, helping vs. getting out of the way,  and —  I’m guessing — dozens of variations on the theme of second guessing.

I am not second guessing the healing power of groups, especially in traumatic situations. I’m also not second guessing my photos from yesterday.

In this second, I’m guessing that you — like the group members — want to know if the injured person is okay.  The person is fine.

This is the second time I’ve included the song “Second Guessing” by Jonny Lang.

I’m not second guessing my wish to include this second song, by The Guess Who.

 

Please don’t second guess anything you choose to share in a comment, below.

No second guessing about my gratitude for all who helped me create this second post about “Second Guessing” and — of course! — for YOU.