Day 2602: What’s the matter with me?

What’s the matter with me, that I’ve written three posts  (here, here, and here) with the title “What’s wrong with me?”  over the last seven years?

What’s the matter with me, that one day after I lost and found my wallet, I dropped a New Yorker tote bag with my marriage certificate while I was walking to work in the extreme cold, even though that marriage certificate matters so much to me?

What’s the matter with me, that I was considering titling this post “What would Freud say?”

What’s the matter with me, that I’m explaining losing track of important things by telling myself that I’m so concentrated on not losing my wedding ring (which is too big) that I’m dropping other things?

What’s the matter with me, that I have SO MANY things to keep track of every day?

What’s the matter with me, that I’m sharing only these photos from yesterday?

What’s the matter with me, that I’m losing track of so many things these days but can still hear this song in my head?

What’s the matter with me, that

• I’m sad that Sam Cooke died so young,
• I’m anxious about so many matters in today’s news,
• I tell people in my therapy groups that anxiety about forgetting makes us forget even more, and
• when people ask me “What’s wrong with me?” I answer “nothing.”

If you comment on what you think is the matter with anything, that will matter to me.

What’s the matter with me, that I always end every post with gratitude?

 

Day 2517: Information for healthy living

Just now, when I searched my thousands of blogs for a previous post about “information for healthy living,” this is what WordPress told me:

Nothing Found

Sorry, but nothing matched your search criteria. Please try again with some different keywords.

 

And here I thought I’ve been giving you, my readers, information for healthy living for approximately two thousand, five hundred and seventeen days!

Well, as I like to tell people, there’s no time like the present, so let’s begin:

That photo helps explain and corroborate today’s title, but there’s no information for healthy living there!

Let’s see if there’s any information for healthy living in the rest of my photos from yesterday:

When I search YouTube for “information for heathy living,” lots of videos show up, including this one:

 

Yesterday, I told my wonderful Primary Care Physician —  Dr. Laura Snydman at Tufts Medical Center —  that I hoped  my dancing was as good for healthy living as medicine is.

Here‘s Bailey and Gino from So You Think You Can Dance (which I think is great medicine):

 

Feel free to add more information for healthy living in the comments section, below.

Here’s some healthy thanks from your grateful blogger:

 

 

 

Day 2441: It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter that

• I left my phone home yesterday,
• the Democrat field for President is so crowded and confusing,
• I don’t know how many people will be coming to my first Fringe show in Edinburgh on August 19 or how it will turn out,
• people come and go (sometimes speaking of Michelangelo),
• the above line is a reference to a T.S. Eliot poem,
• my son doesn’t get poetry,
• my son isn’t getting much fresh air these days because he’s spending so much time programming in our basement,
• I still haven’t decided what to include on my Fringe poster and my son is going to help me with any changes,
• I’m singing my latest original song at an Open Mic tonight,
• I don’t know how many people will be there or how it will turn out,
• everybody’s getting older, including me and our cat Oscar,
• I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and
• different people have different opinions and different needs.

Why doesn’t it matter?  Because I’m still in the middle of “A Year of No Worry” and that has made all the difference.

It doesn’t matter that I’m sharing these particular photos today and it doesn’t matter what order they’re in:

 

 

 

 

 

It doesn’t matter that when I sang my latest original song yesterday, somebody  said, “I tell everybody ‘I don’t know what planet she’s from, but it’s a good one.'”

It doesn’t matter that Michael and I danced to this song last night:

It doesn’t matter what comments you leave or how I express my gratitude to everyone who helps me create these posts, including YOU!

 

 

 

 

Day 2440: Angels

Yesterday, I noticed angels — first in my therapy group and then at Tufts Medical Center in Boston.  Do you see the angels in these photos?

Michael is an angel to serve us the best tuna noodle casserole ever and my son Aaron is an angel to help me create the  poster for my Edinburgh Fringe show.

Also, my angel of a nurse, Melanie Marshall (who appears in this post with several other angels) …

… has left Tufts Medical Center, which I found out yesterday at my device check appointment. In case my reading angels want to know whether there was any other disappointment at that appointment, I also found out that my implantable cardiac device has about four more years of life.

Here are some quotes about angels:

You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give.  — Patti LaBelle
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.  — George Bernard Shaw

Monsters will always exist. There’s one inside each of us. But an angel lives there, too. There is no more important agenda than figuring out how to slay one and nurture the other.  — Jacqueline Novogratz

I do not want to be the angel of any home: I want for myself what I want for other women, absolute equality. After that is secured, then men and women can take turns being angels.  — Agnes Macphail

A good teacher who can take the zero pay and help kids develop physically, emotionally, socially, is literally an angel.  — Eva Amurri

Books are like a mirror. If an ass looks in, you can’t expect an angel to look out.           —   B. C. Forbes
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.  — Michelangelo

Misfortune is never mournful to the soul that accepts it; for such do always see that every cloud is an angel’s face.  — Lydia M. Child
When we are touched by something it’s as if we’re being brushed by an angel’s wings.  — Rita Dove

I also noticed this yesterday, regarding  a singer-songwriter with an angelic voice:

I am grateful for all the angels in my life, including YOU!

Day 2384: 2 c or not 2 c

Yesterday, I chose to see this at a hospital parking lot …

… and it occurred to me that we choose what to see and what not to see.

For example, because my eye was red yesterday …

 

… I chose 2  C  several eye-related things.

Because I have an unusual heart, I often choose 2 C heart-related things.

Because it’s Pride Week, I chose 2 C this:

Because I want to avoid collisions, I chose 2 C these:

Here are more things I chose 2 C yesterday:

 

Were U able 2 C that these socks …

… are Ouija Board socks?  I choose 2 C that those socks are 4 people who want 2 C into the future.

I choose 2 C that Prince‘s song “I Would Die 4 U” is on YouTube, at least 4 now:

I also choose 2 C that Prince’s birthday is tomorrow, June 7.   I also choose 2 C that tomorrow is the start of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy’s annual conference in Boston.

What do you choose 2 C and not 2 C in today’s blog post?

I always choose 2 C gratitude, so thanks 2 all who helped me 2 create this “2 C or not 2 C” post and — of course! — 2 U!

 

 

Day 2342: BFD

Blogging Friends, Do you know what BFD stands for?

Is it a Big Freakin’ Deal if I share my photos from yesterday?

Book Finely Done:

Bashful Feline Detected:

Boston Fans’ Delight:

Big, Friendly Declaration:

Bona Fide Discussions:

Bystander Finds Diversion:

Bill’s Far-reaching Difference:

Boston’s Floating, Described:

Bright Floral Displays:

Blake Frolics Doggedly:

Boston’s Fine Days:

Bowl of Food Delicious:

Best Foto Determined?

Band Faces Dave:

Big Finale, Dears.

Day 2281: Desperation

There’s been a lot of desperation around here lately. Are you noticing desperation where you are?

Here’s one source of my desperation: I’m wondering if I control the universe with my anxiety.    When I am anxious about something (like planning a dinner in Los Angeles, for example), things seem to go wrong.

I also have desperation about my inability to write something on this blog without using the word “thing.”

Michael has been experiencing desperation about charging his laptop — for days, he has had to anchor the charging cord in intricate ways to  get any charge.

Yesterday, a replacement charging cord came in the mail and Michael said, “I’m going to keep that as an art installation called “Desperation.'”

Do you see desperation in my other photos from yesterday?

 

 

 

 

 

If you want to make a peep about desperation or anything else, please comment below.

Also, Dr. Matthew Salzler at Tufts Medical Center dispersed any desperation I might have about my healing rotator cuff,  a year after my falling and tearing it.

Out of desperation about not having any new ideas of how to celebrate my son’s birthday (he’s turning 21 today!) on this blog, I’m sharing, again,  his misheard lyrics of “Louie Louie” on YouTube.

Here’s a comment from somebody who might have had some desperation looking for my son’s video until finally finding it:

Deku Tree
8 months ago
I finally found you this is a weird story so sit tight

I was in a music class in elementary school and the teacher there wanted our next song we sang to be Louie Louie he then told us a story about how the song had weird misheard lyrics and showed the class this very video to show us what the misheard lyrics were and I finally found it when I was watching a video on YouTube for weird misheard lyrics throughout history and my mind thought about this video and I thought “I know the in’s and out’s of YouTube now I’ll try to find it.” and I did yes! It wasn’t even that hard to find I was just lazy back when I was a kid and didn’t look very hard now I have liked the video from my memory’s finally.

No desperation at the end of this blog post, just gratitude for all who helped me create it and — of course! — YOU.

 

Day 2272: Build your own adventure

Yesterday, when I was building my own adventure, I saw this:

Actually, I need help from others to build my own adventure.  How do you build your own adventure?

When my son was very young, he posted a build-your-own-adventure game on YouTube, which I can’t find.  Therefore, shall we build our own adventure together, here and now, using forty-eight of my photos from yesterday?

You can further build the adventure if you click on any photo you’d like to more adventurously explore.

Here‘s what comes up on YouTube for “Build Your Own Adventure”:

 

I don’t have time to make the choices for that scary adventure, because I’ve got to go out into the world and build my adventure for today.

I look forward to the adventures people build in the comments section, below.

Gratitude helps me build my own adventure, so thanks to all who helped me build today’s post and — of course! — YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2265: Loss and Change

Because I am so aware of loss and change right now, here are some quotes about “Loss and Change.”

Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature’s delight. — Marcus Aurelius

People lose people, we lose things in our life as we’re constantly growing and changing. That’s what life is, is change, and a lot of that is loss. It’s what you gain from that loss that is life. — Thomas Jane

When you have a tough loss, go through it and agonize. I had one loss that I still want to change, but at the same time I realize it is an important part of who I am. — Andrew Shue

There is so much inherent drama in the matter of change. Disappointment in yourself and others, coping with the fact that life is essentially a shipwreck, becoming a person you yourself could not imagine yourself to be, for good and for bad, and then ultimately there is the basic matter of loss. — Jane Hamilton

The garden is growth and change and that means loss as well as constant new treasures to make up for a few disasters. — May Sarton

Do you see loss and/or change in my photos from yesterday?

I changed my framing of “CARE” to “CA”  above because of an upcoming change:  I’m flying to CA for a group therapy conference in three weeks.  Chances are that I’ll experience and witness change,  loss, disasters, and treasures while I’m there.

I was very aware of the loss of Bob Marley yesterday, because of this:

Any thoughts or feelings about loss and change?

Something that doesn’t change: how I notice and share thanks with YOU.

Day 2244: Frustration

Yesterday, when I was experiencing some frustration, I noticed that somebody had chosen to express that feeling via the emotions chart on my office door.

I wondered, “Who expressed that frustration?  Was it a patient or a staff person? Why are they feeling frustration?  Are they expressing that frustration to others?  Are they keeping the frustration to themselves?  Do they know they are not alone in feeling frustration?  How do they deal with frustration?” I felt some frustration that I did not know  — and probably would never know — the answers to my questions.

However, I can ask similar questions to you, my readers.

Are you feeling frustration these days?   Do you share your frustration or keep it to yourself?  How do you deal with frustration?

I am feeling frustration with our government, these days.  Am I alone in that frustration?

Also, people in therapy have been expressing frustration about their relationship with food, especially during and after the holidays. I suggest that people NOT beat themselves up about what they’re eating– that leads to greater frustration and more eating to comfort themselves.

In addition, last night at a Board meeting, some of us expressed frustration about ageism, and how people — even those who are sensitive in their use of language about other differences — make jokes about age all the time.  I remember feeling frustration about this when I was in Social Work graduate school, decades ago.  Of course, my frustration with this gets worse as I get older.

After the board meeting, one of the participants shared this video in an email:

Is anybody feeling frustration that I’m taking so long to share my other photos from yesterday?

 

Are people feeling frustration about any of those photos?  I’ll explain the last one — I bought a gelato-filled Panettone for the board meeting.   Nobody expressed frustration about that.

Feel free to express frustration or any other feelings or thoughts in a comment, below.

Thanks to all who helped me create this “frustration” post and to you — of course!