Day 2844: Ghosts

According to Merriam Webster, a ghost is …

1: the seat of life or intelligence : SOUL
“give up the ghost”
2: a disembodied soul
especially : the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness
3: SPIRIT, DEMON
4a: a faint shadowy trace
a ghost of a smile
b: the least bit
“not a ghost of a chance”
5: a false image in a photographic negative or on a television screen caused especially by reflection
6: one who ghostwrites
7: a red blood cell that has lost its hemoglobin

These days, it’s looking like the current U.S. President does not have a ghost of a chance to get a second term. Those of us who almost gave up the ghost four years ago when he WAS elected — despite polls saying he had not a ghost of a chance back then — are barely showing ghosts of smiles about the possible outcome.

I know that some of his supporters might call me a snowflake, but I have felt haunted since November, 2016, inhabiting this world like a ghost of my former self. When I look at the posts I’ve written since then, I see faint shadowy traces of the spirit I had before. However, it’s never been so bad that I’ve considered getting a ghostwriter for this blog.

Also, many of us feel haunted by ghosts that others just do not see.

What ghosts do you see in my photos from yesterday?

Among others, I see the ghosts of Oscar the cat, the people who have been killed by gun violence, trust in our leaders, and the normalcy of our lives before the pandemic.

Also, that last photo shows the ghost of a blog post I considered writing for today — “Day 2881: Grains of salt.” There are many ghosts of posts never written in my draft folder and in my mind, but those don’t haunt me, perhaps because so many posts have seen the light of day.

Here is “Ghosts” — the new song by the very-much-alive Bruce Springsteen:

Thanks to all my readers for not ghosting me over the years!

Day 2747: The truth

The truth

• is that I’ve written one other blog post titled “The truth.”
• is out there,
• is a disturbingly limited commodity during these difficult times,
• will out,
• hurts, and
• shall set you free.

The truth is that I continue to go on walks with my husband and my son, wearing masks and maintaining social distancing.

The truth is that our wonderful kitty Oscar is not going to get any better as he spends his final precious days with us.

The truth is that there are heroes everywhere.

The truth is that one of my heroes is my husband Michael, who prepares wonderful meals for us.

The truth is that I also took these photos yesterday:

The truth is that reminds me of this 11-year-old video of my son Aaron and our cat Oscar:

The truth is that

• Oscar is a very chill and accepting cat,
•  I would like to be more like Oscar, and
• I am very grateful for all who are reading this, including YOU.

 

Day 2262: National Nutrition Month

Did you know that March is National Nutrition Month? I wouldn’t have, either, except I saw this yesterday:

I agree that there are lots of ways to get nutrition, including games, snacks, and prizes.

I think it’s interesting that national nutrition month is the same month that, in this nation,

• offers no holidays from work,
• comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb,
• has a mind-and-body disrupting time change, and
• features green food and drink, which never looks particularly nutritious to me.

Can you find any nutrition in my other photos from yesterday?

I look forward to finding and supplying nutrition for others during National Nutrition Month.

I find nutrition in Neil Young‘s music. A search for “Neil Young Nutrition” brings this up on YouTube …

… and this:

I look forward to the nutrition in your comments.

Nutritious thanks to all who helped me create this “National Nutrition Month” post and — of course! — to unrepeatable, magical YOU.

Day 1830: Non-disparagement agreement

Today, I’m waking up to news about a lawsuit regarding the violation of a non-disparagement agreement between Donald Trump and Steve Bannon.

Please don’t disparage me about this, but I didn’t know that non-disparagement agreements were a thing, much less legally enforceable.

In five years of writing this daily blog — even without the benefit of having a non-disparagement agreement with my readers — I can’t remember receiving any disparaging comments.  Maybe non-disparagement agreements don’t have to be in writing. Maybe we can all just agree not to disparage each other, even when we don’t agree.

However, I’m thinking that written  non-disparagement agreements might be useful for reducing self-disparagement. Here’s a first draft of that kind of non-disparagement agreement:

I agree not to disparage myself, silently or out loud.

Signed,

(your name here)

I agree not to disparage myself about my other photos from yesterday.

I don’t want to disparage the people in the news these days, but I wish they’d act more like adults. If they did, perhaps people in my therapy groups wouldn’t be focusing so much on self-protection.

Should we disparage this  YouTube video?

 

What do you think about non-disparagement agreements? No disparagement here, even if we disagree.

As always, I agree to  (1) write every day that I am able and (2) express gratitude at the end of each post.

 

Day 1619: Who do you trust?

Who do you trust?

Do you trust the leaders of your country?

Do you trust what a teabag tells you?

Do you trust yourself to speak?

Do you trust your friends?

Do you trust your family?

Do you trust people to do their jobs?

Do you trust a Prius owner with a Trump bumper sticker?

Do you trust the weather?

Do you trust the forecasters?

Do you trust the news?

Do you trust your sports teams?

Do you trust your head or your heart?

Do you trust the food you eat?

Do you trust me to choose “Who Do You Trust” videos (here, here and here on YouTube)?

I trust you to leave trustworthy comments.

Who do you trust to express gratitude for all who helped create this blog post and — of course! —  for you?  I hope you trust me.

Day 1536: How People Change

“How People Change” is a topic  of extreme interest to psychotherapists.

“How People Change” was also  the topic that my therapy group — filled with people who are very interested in change —  discussed yesterday morning.

Therefore, “How People Change” is the topic of today’s post.

I, a person, change every day. However, I do not change certain things — like  including recent photos in my daily blog.

Because I’m not sure how WordPress is changing the size of that photograph on your current screen, here’s what I wrote about “How People Change” in yesterday’s group:

Everybody changes in different ways.

Flexibility is important!

Changes we choose are much easier to tolerate than changes we do not choose.

We deal with change a lot in this group because people come and go.

After the group, I changed the “angel card” in that description of change, just for the sake of change.

What do you think of that change, people?

Do you see evidence of how people change in my other photos from yesterday?

 

The reality is that I recited/sang these lyrics from the David Bowie song “Changes” in group yesterday.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

See and hear how David Bowie changed singing “Changes” as time changed him (here, here, and here on YouTube)

 

Some people have said, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Even though I change all the time, my gratitude  — for all who help me create these posts and for you, my readers — stays the same!

Day 1514: Trust

Trust me to start a blog post with a definition.

trust
trəst
noun
1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
“relations have to be built on trust”
synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance
“good relationships are built on trust”
2.LAW
confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.
verb
1.believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.
“I should never have trusted her”
synonyms: rely on, depend on, bank on, count on, be sure of
“he can be trusted to carry out an impartial investigation”
2.archaic
allow credit to (a customer).

Do you trust that definition?  What helps or hinders your trust?

I trust that my  boyfriend, Michael, will say this again in the near future:

“Who are you going to trust?  Me or your lying eyes?”

Trusty Michael says that when we’re discussing people in power whom we don’t trust.

Do you trust that my eyes have seen all these things?

 

 

 Is there trust in your heart, here and now? Do you trust that I’ll find music about trust on YouTube?

Do you trust me to end each post with thanks to all who helped me create it and — of course! — to you?

Day 1213: Intent

Yesterday, my intent was to write about “Purpose.”

Today, my purpose is to write about “Intent.”

Where did this purposeful intent come from? From a discussion, yesterday, in a therapy session.

It was my intent to  suggest, there, that people ask that intentional question when somebody has said something confusing, confounding, or hurtful.

Here are all the other photos I took yesterday, with intent.

Can you guess my intent in taking any of those photos?  I hope the intent of this post tells you that you can always intentionally ask.

What music do I intend to include here?

I am intentionally inspired by my own photos to include this …

… and this:

Is it your intent to leave a comment today?

It is my intent to thank all who helped me create this post and you — of course! — no matter what your intent for visiting here and now.

Day 1132: Be suspicious

Are you suspicious of

• other people?
• yourself?
• what you hear?
• what you see?
• what you smell?
• what you taste?
• what you touch?
• the water you drink?
• the food you eat?
• the news media?
• weather forecasts?
• other predictions about the future?
• your memory?
• your beliefs?
• other people’s beliefs?
• technology?
• the internet?
• what other people tell you?
• the unknown?
• advertising?
• cultural norms?
• your own dreams?
• things that are too good to be true?
• blogs?

Be suspicious about other people listing your possible suspicions.  What are you suspicious of?

Be suspicious about what inspires my post titles, which is often something I’ve seen the day before.

Be suspicious of other people telling you what to do.

I tend to be suspicious of

• harshly critical thoughts
• cognitive distortions (a suspiciously complete list of those is here)
• easy answers
• phony smiles
• people who don’t listen
• rigidity, and
• too much suspicion.

Be suspicious when somebody offers to show you pictures, such as these:

Please don’t be suspicious about leaving a comment, which I suspect will be awesome.

Be suspicious when I don’t express thanks to all those who help me create a post and also to you — of course! — for reading my suspicious blog, here and now.

Day 536: Progress Report #3

Twice before (here and here), I’ve written a progress report, during these Years of Living Non-judgmentally.

I just re-read those two previous progress posts and — you know what? — they were pretty darn good.

Aha!  One area of progress has appeared in today’s blog post, already:

Compliments.

While I still use the word “bragging” when I compliment myself, I’m feeling easier about accepting positive statements from others and making them about myself.

It’s still a priority for me to send out as many authentic, complimentary messages as possible. I am also making progress balancing my enjoyment of giving out compliments  with sensitivity to other people’s comfort with them.

Yesterday morning, I met somebody new: the mother of a friend of my son, Aaron. When I saw this, in her kitchen

… I complimented her on it.

Also, I bragged to her about my blog.

She and the rest of her family are moving to Michigan. They won’t have a permanent place to live, before they move, so they’re only taking essentials with them, to begin their new life there. She’s been telling her family to “think of it as an indoor camping trip.” I complimented her on that, too.

 

Observing and interpreting messages from people, etc.

I also see progress in paying attention to all kinds of communication, from people I encounter, and elsewhere.

 

By being open to more types of communication, I observe others doing the same:

 

Another area of progress: If I cannot make sense of the communication, I am doing better at letting that go, and moving on.

 

Trust.

This continues to be a challenging area for me (and others I observe).  How much to trust, and whom?

Sometimes, I trust too much. For example, I often look at my shoulder bag and notice it’s open:

Why?  Perhaps I’m focusing, too much, on other things.

Yesterday, I trusted somebody new:

That’s Niso, at Brookline Foreign Motors. Niso is also a DJ; “It’s in my blood,” he said. We had an interesting conversation about people being “too dependent upon technology” relating to music AND cars. We talked about the new safety features on new cars that automatically alert drivers about obstacles in their way.  The other day, when Niso was leaving his driveway, he almost hit somebody, when an alarm didn’t go off.  We agreed it’s better to pay attention, some times, the old-fashioned way.

Being like-minded that way, with Niso, helped increase my trust. These items, observed close by, also helped:

 

I liked what I observed yesterday, at Brookline Foreign Motors.

Being open to beauty, all around.

I’m doing pretty well at that, lately, but I have to confess: this is much easier for me, during the warmer weather.  But I still need to give myself — and beautiful Boston, USA — credit for progress:

 

Celebrating other people’s progress.

From my whiteboard at work:

 

Progress reports can really help, don’t you think?

Thanks to Jack’s mother, to Niso, to Brookline and Boston, to Frederick Law Olmsted (for the Emerald Necklace),  to people who do their best with new situations, to creatures who respectfully share space with others, to all those who give themselves credit for any amount of progress, and to you — of course! — for progressing here, today.