We all need safe spaces to heal, but what spaces feel safe these days?
I’m thinking about safe spaces, here and now, because today is National GOE Day in the USA.
Do you see any safe spaces in my other images for today?
Locally, we’ll be making our home into a safe space when we repair the extensive structural damage under the upstairs shower. I’m just glad that my used-to-be-boyfriend-now-husband Michael observed water leaking outside the house before somebody fell through the floor!
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “safe spaces.”
How do you create your own safe spaces?
I hope the comments section, below, is a safe enough space where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and experiences about safe spaces.
Thanks to all who help me create a safe space here, including YOU.
1: the seat of life or intelligence : SOUL “give up the ghost” 2: a disembodied soul especially : the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness 3: SPIRIT, DEMON 4a: a faint shadowy trace a ghost of a smile b: the least bit “not a ghost of a chance” 5: a false image in a photographic negative or on a television screen caused especially by reflection 6: one who ghostwrites 7: a red blood cell that has lost its hemoglobin
These days, it’s looking like the current U.S. President does not have a ghost of a chance to get a second term. Those of us who almost gave up the ghost four years ago when he WAS elected — despite polls saying he had not a ghost of a chance back then — are barely showing ghosts of smiles about the possible outcome.
I know that some of his supporters might call me a snowflake, but I have felt haunted since November, 2016, inhabiting this world like a ghost of my former self. When I look at the posts I’ve written since then, I see faint shadowy traces of the spirit I had before. However, it’s never been so bad that I’ve considered getting a ghostwriter for this blog.
Also, many of us feel haunted by ghosts that others just do not see.
What ghosts do you see in my photos from yesterday?
Among others, I see the ghosts of Oscar the cat, the people who have been killed by gun violence, trust in our leaders, and the normalcy of our lives before the pandemic.
Also, that last photo shows the ghost of a blog post I considered writing for today — “Day 2881: Grains of salt.” There are many ghosts of posts never written in my draft folder and in my mind, but those don’t haunt me, perhaps because so many posts have seen the light of day.
Please don’t disparage me about this, but I didn’t know that non-disparagement agreements were a thing, much less legally enforceable.
In five years of writing this daily blog — even without the benefit of having a non-disparagement agreement with my readers — I can’t remember receiving any disparaging comments. Maybe non-disparagement agreements don’t have to be in writing. Maybe we can all just agree not to disparage each other, even when we don’t agree.
However, I’m thinking that written non-disparagement agreements might be useful for reducing self-disparagement. Here’s a first draft of that kind of non-disparagement agreement:
I agree not to disparage myself, silently or out loud.
Signed,
(your name here)
I agree not to disparage myself about my other photos from yesterday.
I don’t want to disparage the people in the news these days, but I wish they’d act more like adults. If they did, perhaps people in my therapy groups wouldn’t be focusing so much on self-protection.
“How People Change” is a topic of extreme interest to psychotherapists.
“How People Change” was also the topic that my therapy group — filled with people who are very interested in change — discussed yesterday morning.
Therefore, “How People Change” is the topic of today’s post.
I, a person, change every day. However, I do not change certain things — like including recent photos in my daily blog.
Because I’m not sure how WordPress is changing the size of that photograph on your current screen, here’s what I wrote about “How People Change” in yesterday’s group:
Everybody changes in different ways.
Flexibility is important!
Changes we choose are much easier to tolerate than changes we do not choose.
We deal with change a lot in this group because people come and go.
After the group, I changed the “angel card” in that description of change, just for the sake of change.
What do you think of that change, people?
Do you see evidence of how people change in my other photos from yesterday?
The reality is that I recited/sang these lyrics from the David Bowie song “Changes” in group yesterday.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
See and hear how David Bowie changed singing “Changes” as time changed him (here, here, and here on YouTube)
trust
trəst
noun
1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
“relations have to be built on trust”
synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance
“good relationships are built on trust”
2.LAW
confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.
verb
1.believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.
“I should never have trusted her”
synonyms: rely on, depend on, bank on, count on, be sure of
“he can be trusted to carry out an impartial investigation”
2.archaic
allow credit to (a customer).
Do you trust that definition? What helps or hinders your trust?
I trust that my boyfriend, Michael, will say this again in the near future:
“Who are you going to trust? Me or your lying eyes?”
Trusty Michael says that when we’re discussing people in power whom we don’t trust.
Do you trust that my eyes have seen all these things?
Be suspicious about other people listing your possible suspicions. What are you suspicious of?
Be suspicious about what inspires my post titles, which is often something I’ve seen the day before.
Be suspicious of other people telling you what to do.
I tend to be suspicious of
harshly critical thoughts
cognitive distortions (a suspiciously complete list of those is here)
easy answers
phony smiles
people who don’t listen
rigidity, and
too much suspicion.
Be suspicious when somebody offers to show you pictures, such as these:
Please don’t be suspicious about leaving a comment, which I suspect will be awesome.
Be suspicious when I don’t express thanks to all those who help me create a post and also to you — of course! — for reading my suspicious blog, here and now.
