Fortunately, there are always more everythings, every day, to notice and share.
This blog is everything to me, so I’m planning on including it in my five-minute “Ted Talk” about Picking up the Pieces at my upcoming 45th college reunion.
Here’s what I wrote about that, this morning:
So as I tell my story to you today, I wonder, perhaps along with you,
what has allowed me to survive, so intact, through all these years of
uncertainty and crisis? What has helped me pick up the pieces, over
and over again? As when I was a child — the love of my family and
friends sustain me. Also, about seven years ago I expanded my
network of friends by starting a daily blog. Every morning, including
today, I write about my heart, my son, my boyfriend, my work,, my
passion for the healing power of groups, my music, my cats, my
hopes, my fears, — whatever helps gird and prepare me for the day
ahead. The day after my heart valve replacement surgery is the only
day I needed a substitute blogger — my boyfriend Michael let my
thousands of readers know I had survived the complicated surgery.
The comments from my readers that day included “This is the best
news that I could receive!” “She’s going to be alright guys’ is the best
As I know with my work with groups, community is essential for
survival. Perhaps because of all the traumas I’ve been through, I need
a bigger group than most to keep me going. Thanks for being part of
my group, today.
I’ve written several drafts to make sure that talk is everything to me and to my listeners at the reunion. I hope everything, above, will make it to my final speech. I’ll keep you posted about that and everything else.
Yesterday, at the end of a day when I had feared many outcomes that did not come to pass, I texted my friend, Jenn:
I will never fear again.
I will never fear again making statements like that. I have felt too much fear in my life and I fearlessly love the idea that I will never fear again.
I will never fear again sharing my photos with you.
I will never fear again sharing details of my life with you, like these:
On my way to Disney World I got the results of my 23andme DNA genetic test, which said I had “less than the average tendency to be afraid of heights.” After a life where I’ve been afraid of heights, I decided to believe that report and never fear heights again.
While my boyfriend Michael and I feared that he had seriously scratched up my little yellow car with an ice scraper, I was able to get most of them off by fearlessly and vigorously running my thumb over them while it was still cold as ice. I will never fear again somebody doing damage to my car.
People in my group yesterday found it helpful to make lists of “Too Much” and “Too Little.” I will never fear again suggesting an exercise in one of my groups.
One of my patients made me a beautiful red hat. I will never fear again accepting a gift like that.
I will never fear again asking my readers a question like this: what do you think would happen if you decided to never fear again?