These days, it’s difficult to identify one thing that frightens me, because there are so many frightening things out there.
What frightens me on this day includes
the increase in COVID cases and death,
COVID deniers,
anti-maskers,
large gatherings of people,
systemic racism,
climate change,
the state of the world,
the state of my country,
crazy conspiracy theories,
the number of people who believe crazy conspiracy theories,
Trump’s increasingly outrageous behaviors, and
people who do not call out outrageous behaviors.
Is there one thing that frightens you in my latest photos?
Has that cow been frightened off of its base?
Things that frighten you, me, and others have inspired my new song, entitled “What’s Your Fear, My Dear?” for my frighteningly ambitious new project, Therapy: The Musical. I plan to work on my first musical during the dark and frightening weeks of the New England winter.
One thing that does NOT frighten me is sharing my ideas here, so here are some lyrics from “What’s Your Fear, My Dear?”
Last week, Human Resources at work sent me an email stating that if I had not filed for unemployment benefits (I had not), my identity had been stolen. Because I had heard previously that our work email system might have been hacked, I doubted the identity of the emailer and wrote back “Why should I believe YOU?” The HR person validated my concern and offered to prove her identity by calling me. In that phone call, we established that, indeed, my identity had been stolen.
As I looked into the theft of my identity, I discovered that it had been stolen TWO YEARS AGO. All this time, I’ve been blissfully ignorant of my identity theft, even though part of my identity has been preparing and protecting myself from trouble.
In the past, when I’ve heard that somebody’s identity had been stolen, I’ve reacted with worry, concern, and fear that this might someday happen to me. Now that my identity has been stolen, I am happy to identify that I am still me, doing what needs to be done, surviving it all, and remaining hopeful about the future.
As a matter of fact, my identity theft has seemed so insignificant to me — compared to the attempted theft of the identity of my country — I haven’t mentioned it here on my blog, until now.
Because part of my identity is to define my terms, here’s a definition of identity:
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Do you see identity in any of my other recently captured images?
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I can’t wait for the day when we stop obsessing about the identity of Donald Trump and focus on much more important identities.
If you have panic attacks, you are not alone, as you can see by today’s Daily Bitch Calendar.
When people have panic attacks, they often share them with me, because I’m a group and individual therapist. When my husband Michael and I have panic attacks, we share them with each other. Luckily, Michael and I often have panic attacks on alternating days — when he’s panicking I’m usually feeling calm and hopeful and when I’m panicking he’s usually feeling hopeful and calm.
To reduce panic attacks, I breathe, blog, take long walks (masked!) , listen to music, read books, watch funny movies and videos, spend time with calming creatures, search for meaning (on the internet and elsewhere), eat delicious nutritious food, dwell on hope, and take photos.
I’m happy to report that for now, thanks to the kindness of strangers, family, and friends, I’ve stopped having panic attacks about
That reminds me … To reduce panic attacks over the upcoming dark and scary months, I’ll be working on something called Therapy: The Musical. Stay tuned.
Reducing panic attacks includes sharing thoughts and feelings, so I hope you share in a comment below.
Also, gratitude attacks beat out panic attacks, so thanks to all who help me attack a new blog post every day, including YOU.
Here and now, I’m paying attention to these quotes about paying attention:
“The right way to begin is to pay attention to the young, and make them just as good as possible.” — Socrates
“Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.” — Antisthenes
“If you’re not nervous then you’re not paying attention.” — Miles Davis
“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.” — Tom Peters
“The difference between hearing and listening is paying attention.” — Ruth Messinger
“If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you’re eating, when you’ve had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist.” — Geneen Roth
“When you really pay attention, everything is your teacher.” — Ezra Bayda
“All you have to do is pay attention: lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.” —Paulo Coelho
“The universe is full of noise. True wisdom is in knowing what to pay attention to.” — Debasish Mridha
“Pay more attention to the silence than to the sounds. Paying attention to outer silence creates inner silence: the mind becomes still. A portal is opening up.” — Eckhart Tolle
“Pay attention to the little things. They’re more important than you think.” — Matt Gutierrez
“Don’t beg for attention; pay attention to your dreams and others will pay attention to you.” — Israelmore Ayivor
“People will reveal who they are if you just pay attention.” — Germany Kent
“Pay attention to the gentle ones, the ones who can hold your gaze with no discomfort, the ones who smile to themselves while sitting alone in a coffee shop, the ones who walk as if floating. Take them in and marvel at them. Simply marvel. It takes an extraordinary person to carry themselves as if they do not live in hell.” — D. Bunyavong
“Pay attention to what you don’t see.” — Tia DeShay
“Pay attention to the beauty surrounding you.” — Anne Lamott
“The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way.” — Keanu Reeves
“You’ll have bad times. But that’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.” — Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting
“Difficulties come when you don’t pay attention to life’s whisper. Life always whispers to you first, but if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you’ll get a scream.” — Oprah Winfrey
“Paying attention is the most basic and profound expression of love.” —Tara Brach
“The greatest act of love is to pay attention.” — Diane Sawyer
“Every single person has a story that will break your heart. And if you’re paying attention, many people have a story that will bring you to your knees. Nobody rides for free.” — Brené Brown
“I understand now that I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, ‘For the same reason I laugh so often — because I’m paying attention.’ ” — Glennon Doyle
“But when we observe, we are forced to pay attention. We have to move from passive absorption to active awareness. We have to engage.” — Maria Konnikova
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” — Mary Oliver
Now it’s time to be paying attention to my latest photos.
If you’re paying attention, you might notice a typo in that job description. What else are you paying attention to?
Three hundred and ninety-two days ago (don’t worry, I’m counting), I wrote a post titled “A Year of No Worry.” Recently, I reminded Michael about our shared pledge to not worry for a year, starting on April 10, 2019. We laughed and noted how we had gone from worrying about nothing to worrying about everything.
Last night, Michael noticed that I was worrying about everything even harder than usual. So he told me he was making my favorite childhood comfort food, tuna noodle casserole, to help get me through the next few difficult days. (In case you’re worrying about tuna noodle casserole, I shall remind you that Michael is an accomplished chef.) Michael didn’t seem worried when I responded to his news by crying — he knows that kindness can make me cry (as well as cruelty).
Yes, I’m worrying about everything, including these recent photos.
I can NOT go from worrying about everything to not caring about anything in a matter of seconds, but I’m actually not worrying about that.
Hmmmm. I guess I am not worrying about EVERYTHING.
One thousand, five hundred and seventeen days ago (but who’s counting?), I published Day 1005: What is success?Because I’m feeling self-confident today, I think it’s time to revisit success.
Fortunately, there are always more everythings, every day, to notice and share.
This blog is everything to me, so I’m planning on including it in my five-minute “Ted Talk” about Picking up the Pieces at my upcoming 45th college reunion.
Here’s what I wrote about that, this morning:
So as I tell my story to you today, I wonder, perhaps along with you,
what has allowed me to survive, so intact, through all these years of
uncertainty and crisis? What has helped me pick up the pieces, over
and over again? As when I was a child — the love of my family and
friends sustain me. Also, about seven years ago I expanded my
network of friends by starting a daily blog. Every morning, including
today, I write about my heart, my son, my boyfriend, my work,, my
passion for the healing power of groups, my music, my cats, my
hopes, my fears, — whatever helps gird and prepare me for the day
ahead. The day after my heart valve replacement surgery is the only
day I needed a substitute blogger — my boyfriend Michael let my
thousands of readers know I had survived the complicated surgery.
The comments from my readers that day included “This is the best
news that I could receive!” “She’s going to be alright guys’ is the best
line ever!”
As I know with my work with groups, community is essential for
survival. Perhaps because of all the traumas I’ve been through, I need
a bigger group than most to keep me going. Thanks for being part of
my group, today.
I’ve written several drafts to make sure that talk is everything to me and to my listeners at the reunion. I hope everything, above, will make it to my final speech. I’ll keep you posted about that and everything else.
… and so are all these other things I photographed recently, including Michael making a hot tub disappear.
Michael, who really doesn’t like tilapia, magically transformed that fish into something even he totally liked last night. The magic ingredients included coconut, ginger, cream, and mango.
I believe that magic is totally real because I’ll be doing a show at the Edinburgh Fringe on August 19. Here’s the totally real front and back of my flyer:
Here is what I magically find on YouTube when I totally search for “Magic is totally real”:
I’m really looking forward to the magic you totally create in the comments section, below.
My gratitude is totally real, so thanks to all who helped me magically create today’s daily blog post and — of course! — to YOU, for being totally here, before you disappear.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 