Day 2786: Passive Aggressive

I hope this doesn’t sound passive aggressive, but passive aggressive people drive me nuts. If you don’t know what passive aggressive means, why don’t you say so?

pas·sive-ag·gres·sive
adjective
of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

Hmmmm.  According to that passive aggressive definition, perhaps I am passive aggressive, since I’ve been known to

• indirectly resist the demands of others,
• avoid direct confrontation (especially with passive aggressive people),
• procrastinate,
• pout,
• and misplace important materials to the extent that I spend much of time looking for them, while pouting.  For example, this weekend I misplaced my laptop, my phone, my water bottle, my pen, my purse, my mug, a mask, and a letter I had resisted mailing for days.

Well, if I am passive aggressive, at least I know I’m not alone, as you can tell from these passive aggressive images which I found at this passive aggressive website.

That passive aggressive goodbye cake reminds me that this Friday is my husband Michael’s birthday and I need to find an ice cream cake for him.  This is the first time my son Aaron and I will be around to celebrate that with him since every other year we’ve passive aggressively left him to aggressively and passively enjoy the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, which passive aggressively is not taking place this year because of the aggressive coronavirus, which the  United States President has been aggressively passive about.

Is it passive aggressive for me to share these photos I took yesterday, especially if I resist telling you to look for passive aggressiveness in them?

Some of those photos were taken at our local CVS pharmacy, which I sometimes passively aggressively call the “Coronavirus Store.”  Also, for the first time ever, Harley made the passive or aggressive or passive aggressive move yesterday of quietly infiltrating our late cat Oscar’s territory.

If you don’t notice how much time and effort I am already putting into creating this “Passive Aggressive” post, I just might sulk, but who would care about that?

Here‘s a song about a passive aggressive person, which I heard when I was taking my passive aggressive walk yesterday.

Here‘s a live version of “No One Knows My Plan” by They Might be Giants:

Before I end this post, I’m going to check out the usually passively aggressive Daily Bitch Calendar and see what today’s Daily Bitch is.

I might argue with that Daily Bitch, but I don’t like confrontation.

At this point, I’m just going to mention that if you don’t comment, I hope you realize that might be construed by some people (whom I won’t name)  as being sort of passive aggressive.

Is it possible to be passively aggressively grateful for everybody who helps me create these daily posts, including YOU?

Day 2741: Troubling Questions

What troubling questions are on your mind, here and now?

My troubling questions include:

• What do I do about the realities of white supremacy?
• How do I deal with the realities of the coronavirus?
• Why is wearing a mask a political issue?
• What does the American flag even mean these days?
• How will we know when (and if) to euthanize our cat Oscar, who has cancer?
• Why am I so worried about making mistakes?
• Should I go back to being a vegetarian?
• Why is it so difficult to wait?
• Why is it so difficult for the human mind to stay in the present moment?
• Why are people so concerned about their image and how they appear to others?
• Why is it that when life is more difficult,  people often feel worse about themselves?
• Why are trauma and abuse so often multi-generational?
• What do you do when you suspect a friend or colleague is having a mental breakdown?
• Does power corrupt and does absolute power corrupt absolutely?
• What is going to happen to nature as the world keeps warming?
• What kind of world is my 22-year-old son going to live in?
• Should we try to protect those we love from pain?

Do you see any troubling questions in these recent photos? (And is that a troubling question?)

\\\\

If you have any troubling questions about why I have slinkies in my office, see this very early blog post.

Jennifer Eberhardt answers troubling questions about racial bias in this excellent TED talk:

Unquestionably, that is a very important video.

Circling  back to the image that inspired today’s title …

… here is the live studio version of “Cloisonné” from Album Raises New and Troubling Questions by They Might Be Giants:

 

Feel free to raise new and troubling questions or answer any question in a comment, below.

Thanks to all who took the trouble to read this “Troubling Questions” post today, including YOU.

Day 2428: Spoiler Alert!

Spoiler alert!

I’m working on a new original song, called “Spoiler Alert!”

Spoiler alert! If you don’t want to know any of the lyrics before I finish writing “Spoiler Alert!”  please leave this post immediately or scroll down rapidly past this following section:

Spoiler Alert!

by Ann Koplow

I hear a lot of people avoiding spoilers,

They want to be surprised, their future disguised, they’ve said.

Those who reveal what’s coming for real are annoyers.

They don’t want to know, so please do not show what’s ahead.

I’m going to say I’ll be giving away future happenings.

If that’s your pet peeve, you have the option to leave any time.

Spoiler alert!

You’ll encounter things that definitely will hurt.

You’ll be afraid of losing your shirt.

Some foolish words you’re going to blurt.

Spoiler alert!

Nice people will sometimes be curt.

Someone you love will treat you like dirt.

You’ll eat too much of a fattening dessert.

You may have encountered some of these spoilers already.

Since that’s probably the case, I’ll continue my pace to reveal

Future things to occur, I’m reasonably sure and steady,

More spoiler alerts — not all of them hurts —  now coming your way.

Spoilers from me!

You’ll get something unexpected for free.

Cats and kites will get stuck up in a tree

You’ll see something that you’re happy to see.

(to be continued)

©Ann Koplow, 2019

 

Spoiler alert!  I want to finish that song before the first Friday in September, when I’ll be singing at my usual Open Mic in Arlington, Massachusetts. If I don’t make it, here’s another spoiler: I’ll be alert enough to sing another one of my original songs.

Spoiler alert! One of my photos from yesterday inspired one of those lines in “Spoiler Alert.” Are you alert enough to find it?

 

Spoiler alert!   There’s already a song titled “Spoiler Alert” by the incredible band They Might be Giants:

 

Spoiler alert!  Here are many thanks coming your way (and please don’t be afraid of being spoiled by my gratitude).

 

 

 

Day 2389: Messes

Yesterday, somebody who was trying to make sense of life’s messes showed me this:

Because I’ve witnessed a lot of shame about messes in my life, I loved that mess by artist David Shrigley.

Later, in a therapy group, messes showed up again.

 

The group focused on “Self-Worth” and we worked on experiencing unconditional self-worth, despite inevitable messes.

Here are some quotes about messes:

Beginnings are always messy. — John Galsworthy

People are messy; therefore, relationships will be messy. Don’t be surprised by messiness. — Timothy Keller

Surely it’s better to love others, however messy and imperfect the involvement, than to allow one’s capacity for love to harden. –Karen Armstrong

A problem is only a problem when viewed as a problem. All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.  — Robin S. Sharma

Life itself is a haphazard, untidy, messy affair. — Dorothy Day

Messy is a word we use to explain a conflict with an expectation we had. Eliminate the expectation, and you eliminate the messy. — Steve Maraboli

It’s good to leave your room super-messy when you’re away. Whoever tries to break into your room will think it has already been ransacked. — Douglas Adams

The truth is messy. It’s raw and uncomfortable. You can’t blame people for preferring lies. — Holly Black

A messy kitchen is a sign of happiness. — Anonymous

Do you see any messes in my other photos from yesterday?

Here’s I Have Made a Mess by They Might Be Giants:

David Shrigley and Chris Shepherd have made a fine mess with Who Am I and What I Want.

Don’t worry about making a mess in the comments section, below.

Messy thanks from me to all who helped me create this post about messes and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Day 2317: Spoiler Alert

Spoiler Alert!  Yesterday I saw Avengers: Endgame, the kind of movie that evokes the use of the words “Spoiler Alert!” when people write about it.

Spoiler Alert! I’m alert to the importance of not give away spoilers about a movie that

• billions of people have not yet seen,
• has lots of twists and turns,
• has a 95% rating on Rotten Tomatoes,
• makes people laugh and cry,  and
• says, to me, that group therapy is a very effective way to deal with trauma and loss.

Spoiler Alert!  I am not doing my usual thing of linking to the Wikipedia entry about Avengers: Endgame,  because that has countless alert spoilers in it.

Spoiler Alert!   I wonder if I’m reducing my readership for this blog post by repeating the words “Spoiler Alert”?

Spoiler Alert!  Last night I couldn’t sleep and started writing a song called “Spoiler Alert.”

Spoiler Alert! Here are the lyrics I’ve written so far:

Spoiler alert!

Things in your life are going to hurt.

Even nice people will sometimes be curt.

Some foolish words you’ll be certain to blurt.

Spoiler alert!

You’ll eat too much of a fattening dessert.

   You’ll be afraid that you might lose your shirt.

Someone you love will treat you like dirt.

© Ann Koplow, 2019

My sleepless hours  are not going to spoil my day —  I’ll be alert at work today and also tonight at the sold-out John Mulaney and Pete Davidson comedy benefit for My Brother’s Table.

Spoiler Alert! I’m going to share all my photos from yesterday, right now!

I spoiled that last shot, obviously,  by walking and talking while I was taking it.

Spoiler Alert!  They Might Be Giants have a song called “Spoiler Alert”!

Spoiler Alert!  I’m alert to gratitude all around me, so I can share it with you!

Day 1781: Eye roll

I am going to start with a definition of “eye roll” because that’s how I roll.

The action of rolling one’s eyes, typically as an expression of exasperation, disbelief, or disapproval.

Yesterday, when somebody at work treated me like I was his secretary, I did an eye roll in the privacy of my office.  While my eyes were rolling, I composed an email in my head that said

I am not your secretary! I am not even your assigned social worker!  I don’t like this!

but I didn’t send it.  Instead, I sent him an email in which I responded to his request and instructed him how to interact with social work more effectively in the future.

What makes your eyes roll?  Any of these photos?

Please roll your eyes over this YouTube video combining “Narrow Your Eyes” by They Might Be Giants with cartoon ponies.

Feel free to roll your eyes down to the end of this post to leave a comment.

I thank all  who helped me roll out yet another eye-rolling blog post  and — of course! — you, for rolling your eyes here, today.