Posts Tagged With: the North Shore of Boston

Day 2451: In memory of my mother

Today is the 11th anniversary of my late mother’s passing, according to the lunar Hebrew calendar AND the solar Gregorian calendar. To honor her memory, I lit a Yahrzeit candle:

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This is the obituary of my mother that’s still online:

Louise (Sulkin) Koplow

Entered into rest August 12 at the age of 90 years, of Peabody, formerly of Lynn & Swampscott. Beloved wife of the late Aaron Koplow. Devoted mother of Ellen Koplow of Medford & Ann Koplow of Brighton. Cherished grandmother of Aaron David Fairbanks of Brighton. Loving sister of the late Emma Gordon, Elizabeth Rich, Esther Sulkin, Beatrice Plane, Ernest & Louis Sulkin. Dear aunt of many nieces, nephews, grand nieces, grand nephews & their families. She also leaves a large group of friends that she has known for decades. Services at Stanetsky-Hymanson Memorial Chapel, 10 Vinnin Street, SALEM/SWAMPSCOTT line on Thursday, Aug. 14 at 1:00 p.m. Interment at Cong. Ahabat Shalom Memorial Park, Danvers. Memorial week through Tuesday, August 19, daily from 2-5pm and 7-9pm at Woodbridge Assisted Living, 240 Lynnfield St, Peabody. In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy may be made in her memory to the American Heart Assoc., 20 Speen St., Framingham, MA 01701.

I miss my mother, who had a huge influence on me, every day.  As the years go by, I have more “conversations” with her in my head. I can still hear her voice, saying my name, with a mixture of love, concern, worry, and anticipation.  Here are other things I can hear her say, in her special voice:

Everything worth doing is worth doing well.

There’s a place for everything and everything in its place.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

I can also hear her infectious laugh and see her dancing and clapping at holidays and celebrations.  She loved my father’s sense of humor  but she would kick him under the table when she thought he had gone too far with a teasing joke.  She was thoughtful, kind, and welcoming to all.  She didn’t like surprises, but she appreciated the wedding anniversary surprise party my sister organized for our parents. My mother loved living near the ocean and she spent a lot of time in the sun on the beach.

My mother was very clean and neat and she did not want a pet in our house.  However, after my first heart surgery at age 10, she let me get my heart’s desire — a kitty.  She loved that cat, too, and after Tuffy died at age 13, my mother told me she saw a bird in the yard  she thought was Tuffy reincarnated.  Although reincarnation didn’t really fit in with the Orthodox Jewish beliefs my mother adopted after she married my father, I think that reflected how she chose to grieve — to believe that a beloved spirit still existed.  Like my mother did with Tuffy,  I see my mother in other beings, everywhere.

Yesterday, consciously or unconsciously, I took many photos to fit today’s post.

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Here’s a favorite photo of my mother:

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Here‘s a song that my father sang to my mother on another anniversary celebration:

Thanks to my mother, to all who loved her, and to you — of course! — for reading this post, today.

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Categories: in memoriam, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Day 1964: To err is human

Yesterday,  a human I love had the courage to confront me about how I had erred in the past.  Because it’s human to have strong reactions when somebody you respect and care about lets you know they’ve been angry with you for a long time,  I experienced a lot of  feelings during this important discussion. After going through the human feelings of anger,  fear,  guilt, and sadness, we both gladly concluded with hugs, expressions of love, divine forgiveness, and a recommitment to how important we are to each other.

This blogging human wasn’t sure how she was going to write about that experience today.   I hope I’m not erring by sharing yesterday’s photos, here and now.

 

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To err is human and Nirvana may be out of reach, but we can all strive for peace.

Here are two humans singing about an important relationship, for good.

I look forward to the human comments on this post.

As always, I unerringly end with thanks to all, including YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Day 993: Equal Time

Some time ago, I made up a remedy for unhelpful thoughts, called the Equal Time Rule.

If you have time for the equal time rule today, here it is:

The Equal Time Rule. To be fair, why not balance out the time spent on negative thoughts with positive thoughts? For example, if you spend a certain amount of time worrying or catastrophizing about something that then turns out okay, consider spending that much time feeling good about the outcome. Or, if you are focusing on a negative, critical person and worrying about how they might affect you, try to give equal time and power to a positive, supportive person.

Last night, at my 45th high school reunion, I gave equal time to:

  • talking to supportive people,
  • going out on a boat in the harbor near the reunion site,
  • eating yummy food, and
  • singing and dancing to old familiar songs.

It took me equal amounts of time to snap each one of these equal photos —  before, during and after the reunion:

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According to my equal time rule, people should give equal time to feeling good, after a  concerning situation turns out well.  Because I like to give equal time to giving advice AND to listening to my own advice, I shall now use the equal time rule to:

  1. spend a full six months feeling good about how well the reunion turned out AND
  2. spend a full friggin’ TEN MONTHS feeling good about how healthy I am, because I danced as long as anybody else did at that reunion last night.

I shall now give equal time to a song I sang last night at the reunion (which I did not sing equal in quality as I did in this YouTube video, when I sang the same song six months ago):

However, somebody at the reunion last night gave me a LOT of equal and supportive time telling me how great I sounded, singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

I hope you give equal time today to taking good care of yourself and interacting with supportive people.

Equal-time thanks to everybody who helped me create this timely post and to you — of course! — for spending equal time reading and (I hope!) commenting.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

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