I have many happy returns to share in today’s post, including the return of my son Aaron from Scotland to Boston.
I was happy to return yesterday to my home work desk, Twitter, Wollaston Beach, the Kindness Rocks Project, Logan Airport, and Facebook; Aaron was happy to return to our home; and Harley was happy to return to our couches (if not happy about Aaron’s return).
I’m happy you’ve returned here today to share in our happiness.
The Daily Bitch is happy to return on this many happy returns day.
The views expressed in this blog belong to me and do not necessarily represent the views of others.
People express their views in many different ways and through many different media.
These days especially, I wonder how open people are to views different from their own.
In this world, the views of some are considered more valuable than the views of others.
It takes work to express your views effectively.
When expressing your views to others, try using “I”-statements rather than “You”-statements. For example, “I feel strongly about this” rather than “You are wrong” or “You’re an idiot.”
I’ve noticed that people tend to express negative views more often than positive views. In my view, it helps to express appreciation and gratitude.
Four years ago, I decided it was necessary for my mental health to move to a place with ocean views.
Yesterday, the views expressed in this blog got 196 views, with 1.76 views per visitor. At this writing, this daily blog has received 436,222 views since I started it almost eight years ago. “The best views ever,” according to my WordPress stats, happened on June 21, 2020 and the most views for a month were 8,700 during November 2015. I don’t usually view my blogging statistics, so these views are a surprise to me.
Ready to view my views from yesterday ?
The views expressed by the Daily Bitch are her own (but may be shared by others).
If you have panic attacks, you are not alone, as you can see by today’s Daily Bitch Calendar.
When people have panic attacks, they often share them with me, because I’m a group and individual therapist. When my husband Michael and I have panic attacks, we share them with each other. Luckily, Michael and I often have panic attacks on alternating days — when he’s panicking I’m usually feeling calm and hopeful and when I’m panicking he’s usually feeling hopeful and calm.
To reduce panic attacks, I breathe, blog, take long walks (masked!) , listen to music, read books, watch funny movies and videos, spend time with calming creatures, search for meaning (on the internet and elsewhere), eat delicious nutritious food, dwell on hope, and take photos.
I’m happy to report that for now, thanks to the kindness of strangers, family, and friends, I’ve stopped having panic attacks about
[…] those boundaries that are set to make sure mentally and emotionally you are stable” (Prism Health North Texas, n.d.). Another way to think about it is that “Our boundaries might be rigid, loose, somewhere in between, or even nonexistent. A complete lack of boundaries may indicate that we don’t have a strong identity or are enmeshed with someone else” (Cleantis, 2017).
Healthy boundaries can serve to establish one’s identity. Specifically, healthy boundaries can help people define their individuality and can help people indicate what they will and will not hold themselves responsible for.
While boundaries are often psychological or emotional, boundaries can also be physical. For example, declining physical contact from a coworker is setting an important boundary, one that’s just as crucial as setting an emotional boundary, i.e., asking that same coworker not to make unreasonable demands on your time or emotions.
I’m writing about healthy boundaries today because I’m approaching the boundary of my 17-day staycation from work. Healthy boundaries are particularly critical during these pandemic days of working from home, when the boundaries between work and non-work are blurred. Also healthy boundaries are especially important for self-care when you are working in a caring profession, like I do.
In order to set healthy boundaries, I find it useful to
write down a list of what I WILL do and what I will NOT do,
share that list with others, and
follow that list.
What I WILL do now is share my photos from yesterday. Let’s see if we can find any healthy boundaries in them.
As you can see from these two photos …
… Harley’s boundaries are changing, which is healthy for both of us.
This image from the The Kindness Rocks Project (which has healthy boundaries) …
Here‘s the Playing for Change version of “Listen to the Music” …
… and here’s a quote from Playing for Change:
In music as in life, the things that make us different make us stronger. All the various instruments, tones, perspectives, and cultures in this recording combine to create a new version of this classic Song Around The World.
The idea was born a few years ago during breakfast at the Byron Bay Bluesfest in Australia. Our friend and drummer, Peter Bunetta, introduced me to Tom Johnston of The Doobie Brothers and we talked about taking “Listen to the Music” around the world. We started the track with an acoustic guitar demo played to a click track and then added bass from Colombia, tablas and veena from India, and then headed to the Redwood Forest in Northern California to record and film Tom Johnston live outside. We then recorded and filmed Patrick Simmons and John McFee playing along to the track in a park in San Diego. The journey then continued throughout North and South America, Europe, The Middle East, Asia, and Africa. This final version features 30 musicians from 12 countries united through their love of music.
Listen to the music and change the world!
-Mark Johnson, PFC Co-Founder
Here’s a comment from that YouTube video:
Geno M 10 months ago This is going to sound dramatic and fake but I’ve literally been suicidal for the last 2 months especially this past weekend. I am on medicine and seeing therapists but there is a lot of downtime between getting help and being alone with your thoughts. These videos help me cope and really help me think about the good still left in the world making me try and appreciate what I have and my family. Thank you for uplifting folks and spreading good through music.
There is a healthy boundary between Geno M and me — that is, I can feel empathy for his struggle without rushing in to try to save him. These healthy boundaries are especially important for people who are in a caring profession, like I am.
If leaving a comment is on your list of what you will do today, I will leave you a healthy reply in the near future.
Thanks to all who help me create these posts and healthy boundaries, including YOU.
Because of the kind of character I am, I’m going to start this blog post with a definition of “character.”
char·ac·ter | \ ˈker-ik-tər , ˈka-rik- \
1a: one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual.
“This is a side of her character that few people have seen.”
b(1): a feature used to separate distinguishable things into categories.
advertising of a very primitive character
(2): the aggregate of distinctive qualities characteristic of a breed, strain, or type.
a wine of great character
(3): the detectable expression of the action of a gene or group of genes.
c: the complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person, group, or nation.
the character of the American people
d: main or essential nature especially as strongly marked and serving to distinguish.
excess sewage gradually changed the character of the lake
2a: one of the persons of a drama or novel.
b: the personality or part which an actor recreates.
an actress who can create a character convincingly
c: characterization especially in drama or fiction.
a novelist good in both character and setting.
d: PERSON, INDIVIDUAL
a suspicious character
e: a person marked by notable or conspicuous traits.
quite a character
3: moral excellence and firmness.
a man of sound character
4a: a graphic symbol (such as a hieroglyph or alphabet letter) used in writing or printing.
b: a symbol (such as a letter or number) that represents information.
also : a representation of such a symbol that may be accepted by a computer.
c: a magical or astrological emblem.
e(1): WRITING, PRINTING
(2): style of writing or printing.
You know the character to be your brother’s?
f: a conventionalized graphic device placed on an object as an indication of ownership, origin, or relationship.
the scandal has damaged his character and image
6: POSITION, CAPACITY
his character as a town official
7: REFERENCE sense 4b
8: a short literary sketch of the qualities of a social type
: in accord with a person’s usual qualities or traits
behaving in character
out of character
: not in accord with a person’s usual qualities or traits
his rudeness was completely out of character
I tried to add and remove some characters to that long definition to make it clearer but, because I’m an impatient character, I gave up before the ending.
People we know of excellent character have sent us sweet condolence cards characterizing our late kitty Oscar as a character.
I so appreciate the loving character of Janet, Ray, Lydia, and Bob.
Harley, who has a more nervous character than Oscar did, is sitting next to me on the sofa as I’m typing the characters in this post.
What character(s) do you notice in my other photos, which I will characterize as “recent”?
Here‘s “The Top 10 Movie Character Musical Themes.”
Here‘s somebody with character playing “The Imperial March” (#3 in the Top 10 Movie Character Musical Themes) during day 55 of the Black Lives Matter protests in Portland:
I look forward to all the characters left by various characters in the comments section, below.
Many thanks to all the characters who help me create this daily blog, including YOU!