Posts Tagged With: the equal time rule

Day 2947: Too nice?

Do you ever wonder if you are too nice? Especially in response to people who are not too nice?

I don’t think being too nice is the problem, these days. Personally, I think it’s nice when people are nice. Indeed, it’s nice to think about nice people being in charge for a while.

When people are the opposite of nice on Twitter, I think it’s very nice when somebody responds, “S/he seems nice.” It’s nice to have an all-purpose comeback like that about mean people. Often I’m too shocked (if not too nice) to know how to quickly and effectively respond to verbal abuse in the moment.

Of course, it’s important to respond to abuse. I just don’t think self doubt about being “too nice” (or “too anything”) helps us act and move forward.

Are any of my recent images too nice ?

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Is it too nice if I celebrate here in America with “America” from West Side Story?

It would be so nice if you share your thoughts and feelings, below, without worrying if you’re being too nice or not nice enough.

It’s impossible to be too grateful, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Day 993: Equal Time

Some time ago, I made up a remedy for unhelpful thoughts, called the Equal Time Rule.

If you have time for the equal time rule today, here it is:

The Equal Time Rule. To be fair, why not balance out the time spent on negative thoughts with positive thoughts? For example, if you spend a certain amount of time worrying or catastrophizing about something that then turns out okay, consider spending that much time feeling good about the outcome. Or, if you are focusing on a negative, critical person and worrying about how they might affect you, try to give equal time and power to a positive, supportive person.

Last night, at my 45th high school reunion, I gave equal time to:

  • talking to supportive people,
  • going out on a boat in the harbor near the reunion site,
  • eating yummy food, and
  • singing and dancing to old familiar songs.

It took me equal amounts of time to snap each one of these equal photos —  before, during and after the reunion:

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According to my equal time rule, people should give equal time to feeling good, after a  concerning situation turns out well.  Because I like to give equal time to giving advice AND to listening to my own advice, I shall now use the equal time rule to:

  1. spend a full six months feeling good about how well the reunion turned out AND
  2. spend a full friggin’ TEN MONTHS feeling good about how healthy I am, because I danced as long as anybody else did at that reunion last night.

I shall now give equal time to a song I sang last night at the reunion (which I did not sing equal in quality as I did in this YouTube video, when I sang the same song six months ago):

However, somebody at the reunion last night gave me a LOT of equal and supportive time telling me how great I sounded, singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

I hope you give equal time today to taking good care of yourself and interacting with supportive people.

Equal-time thanks to everybody who helped me create this timely post and to you — of course! — for spending equal time reading and (I hope!) commenting.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

Day 395: Confetti Confessions

I confess. I think about confetti a lot.

So it’s not surprising that confetti has shown up in this blog before, in Day 321: The gift of mortality:

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in  Day 307: Beautiful, healing Boston:

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and, in Day 185: Airing things out:

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Let’s find a definition of confetti, shall we? From Oxford Dictionaries:

confetti

Syllabification: con·fet·ti

NOUN

small pieces of colored paper thrown during a celebration such as a wedding.

Origin

early 19th century (originally denoting the real or imitation sweets thrown during Italian carnivals): from Italian, literally ‘sweets’, from Latin confectum ‘something prepared’, neuter past participle of conficere ‘put together’ (see confect).

Spell confetti with one f and a double t: it is an Italian word.

So now that we know what confetti is, where it came from, and how to spell it, I’m going to return to this, which is still up in the air:

Why do I think about confetti so much?

Lots of reasons, including:

  • It’s colorful, and I love colorful things2:

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  • In my work, I notice that people don’t celebrate the positive very much. As a matter of fact, a big part of my job is inviting people to celebrate more. Sometimes we get really radical, and consider the equal time rule — giving celebration the same amount of time given to celebration’s opposite: fear, anxiety, regret, depression, or whatever the person’s experience of anti-celebration. (Well, equal time is fair, isn’t it?) (Even if that’s so difficult to do.)
  • Sometimes I like to come up with ideas for new products, and one I’ve been tossing up in the air for several years is ….NEAT CONFETTI.  Here’s the pitch: I often want to throw confetti in my office, to celebrate progress, a triumph, anything good. But, confetti is messy.  I’d have to clean it up.  So, I can envision some sort of product where confetti explodes out of a box, but is attached to strings, so you can easily reel it back in.

Wouldn’t that be SWEET?

Okay, I think I’ve put together enough for this post.  It’s time to prepare for its conclusion.

So, what have I forgotten?

A NEW image, never before seen in this blog, perhaps?

Here’s something I put up on my white board, earlier this week:

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Here’s what I want to point out, about that image:

  1. Somebody, who was in the same place that had been causing anxiety, depression, etc. for months, was feeling a lot better that day.
  2. While we were able to point to logical explanations for this improvement, this person still found this  mysterious and confusing.
  3. This person, almost immediately after acknowledging the improvement in mood and reduction in symptoms, started listing Reasons Not To Celebrate.
  4. I wished I had some Neat Confetti to throw, that day.

Okay!  Time to clean up, before I leave for work today. Perhaps I should protect what’s mine, in this post:

©  All of these ideas belong to me, Ann Koplow. Although, wait, that doesn’t feel right, since I’ve been inspired by so many people throughout my life. Nevertheless,  if you’re going to use my ideas, try to give me credit, if possible. Although, honestly, sometimes I’m fine with people just sharing whatever-the-hell I’m writing about here, if they think it will do some good.  But, please, don’t try to make money pretending that my ideas are yours, okay?  I especially don’t want to see any of you showing up on “Shark Tank,” pitching NEAT CONFETTI.  That would really suck, and seriously piss me off. Also, some of these photos are mine and some of them aren’t. Do I need to be more specific?  All right, all right! The first two and the last two photos are mine. AND, that equal time rule, in the list of antidotes?  I totally made that up.

Wow. That had quite the mix of feelings and thoughts there, didn’t it?  Plus, I broke several rules of copyright-ing, I believe.  Perhaps I should just thank people, grab something to eat, and call it a morning.

Many thanks to people who try their best to celebrate whenever and however they can, and thanks to you — Yay! — for visiting today.


  1.  I’ve already given credit for this Photo that is Not Mine, in that previous post, so I believe that I’ve protected myself, covered my ass, etc. well enough, so I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE.   Yay!!

  2.  These images have all appeared in previous posts, but I’m not going to link to those earlier posts of mine, because my work here is done, and … it’s good enough. Yay!!!

Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

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