Many people I work with in therapy have trouble forgiving themselves for past mistakes and transgressions. Yesterday, I gave somebody this assignment: to look themselves in the face (in a mirror, any other reflective surface, or, yesterday, during our ZOOM call) and say, “I forgive you.” We practiced that many times during the therapy session, with this person adding their name at the end of the self-forgiving statement.
I’ve been practicing that also, and it really helps. I forgive you, Ann, for
being irritable with lots of people lately,
your lapses in memory,
unintentionally hurting other people’s feelings,
your internalized sexism, ageism, racism, and other isms,
not being good at everything,
not understanding everything,
doing less walking yesterday because of the heat,
taking only one photo outside yesterday,
not getting a better shot of those ducks,
eating meat in a restaurant last night,
buying way too much Ferrero Rocher gelato,
being a daily bitch,
seeing monsters where they don’t exist,
being a monster at times,
having trust issues,
scaring Harley just by moving too quickly,
comparing Harley to your late, lamented kitty Oscar,
repeating yourself, and
spending too much time on Twitter.
I forgive you, Ann, for sharing this song for the umpteenth time.
I forgive you, Ann, for asking people to comment on your blog about their own experience with self-forgiveness.
I forgive you, Ann, for ending each blog in the same way, day after day.
work during a heat wave when our central air conditioning system is not working because of a broken capacitor.
After reaching out to many HVAC repair people since Saturday, we finally found one who had the capacity to respond to our requests, to show up last night at 10 PM without charging us overtime rates, and to diagnose and fix the problem in less than 30 minutes.
Many other HVAC experts did not have the capacity to respond to our pleas for help and one with a very good rating online didn’t have the capacity to show up yesterday as he had promised or to call us and let us know.
Now our central air conditioning system with its new capacitor has the capacity to cool us down on another 90 degree+ day.
going to meet up with blogger Mark Bialczak, his dear wife Karen, and his sweet dog Ellie B. on Cape Cod today,
looking forward to the weekend,
keeping this blog going for the 3078th day in a row,
wanting you to understand that my impressive blogging streak does include making sure that my then-boyfriend, now-husband Michael wrote three entries after my open heart/valve replacement surgery in 2016, and
terrible at lying.
It’s no lie that it helps to know that you are not alone — that’s why I love being a group therapist (and that’s no lie either).
It’s no lie that my coping strategies, as we all deal with the pandemic and politics, include blogging, singing, dancing, walking, talking, eating, and tweeting.
It’s no lie that I’m no expert on lots of things, including Brazilians.
It’s no lie that Mark Bialczak and I both love Steely Dan and it’s no lie that I was singing and dancing to this in my neighborhood yesterday:
It’s no lie that I end each blog post with gratitude, so thanks to all who help me blog every day, including YOU!
Before I began walking my walk yesterday, I tweeted this:
Why did I post that I was better at walking and talking than I was at tweeting? I was doing the familiar and unhelpful cognitive distortion of comparisons — feeling “less than” because everyone I looked at on Twitter was getting way more likes and replies than I was.
Usually I tweet just for fun, not caring about numbers; yesterday, I got caught up in comparisons and felt worse and worse. I kept tweeting, hoping I would get more responses. I didn’t. I knew I would feel better if I stopped tweeting and started walking, but I didn’t, for TWO HOURS on a BEAUTIFUL day.
This reminded me of a therapy session earlier when somebody was talking about the difficulty of breaking old patterns of taking risks with money. This person was stuck in those behaviors and in unhelpful comparisons, too, which we talked about.
I broke my own comparison/tweeting cycle by posting the tweet above, putting on my shoes, and walking the walk.
After watching that duck swimming the swim, I tweeted this tweet:
Eventually, I stopped walking and saw impressive evidence of Michael decking the deck:
I messaged this message to my friend Jenn, who loves pugs …
… and enjoyed eating the eats.
I prepared for blogging the blog by capturing all these other images:
As usual, the Daily Bitch is bitching the bitch.
Here’s what was playing when I was walking the walk by the sea:
I can’t believe there are only 106 likes on YouTube for that amazing performance of the wonderful “Sea Journey” by the late, great Chick Corea, who always walked the walk. Here he is walking his fingers all over the keyboards with his Elektric Band in “Side Walk”:
Who wants to comment the comment?
Thanks to all who help me walk the walk, talk the talk, tweet the tweet, and blog the blog, including YOU!
Here comes trouble in the form of yet another daily blog post from me, who likes to wear these socks:
Here comes trouble as my hometown of Boston gets rid of almost all mask mandates and social distancing rules today, which is troubling many people I know.
Here comes trouble because major changes in rules and routines, widespread distrust in the media and in political leaders, real and present dangers, and uncertainties about the future are all very troubling.
Here comes trouble as I share all my latest images with you.
Here comes trouble: I’ve posted WAAYYY more than 70 days in a row. (Three thousand more, WordPress!)
Here and here come the two songs I mentioned as I was causing trouble on Twitter:
Consider causing some trouble in the comments section below.