It won’t be long before I post the rest of my photos from yesterday, taken at places where I belong:
I be longing, now, for you to let your manners speak for you. That is, just ask or otherwise express any belonging thoughts or feelings in a comment, which belongs below.
What music belongs here?
Thanks to all who help me know I belong, including you!
Greetings from Tufts Medical Center. The bleeding from Wednesday’s incision has been relentless. It’s been a bloody hell for me, my boyfriend/nurse Michael, and my clothing.
I just took this photo as I am waiting for them to start an IV and re-suture the incision.
Yesterday, as I was waiting for my ever vigilant doctors to replace my recalled Implantable Cardiac Device (ICD), my ever vigilant sister Ellen showed me calendars of her awesome photographs, which included this:
Your ever vigilant blogger chose that for today’s topic, mostly because her new incision was bleeding SO MUCH last night and this morning that she was vigilant enough to return to the hospital so that her ever vigilant doctors could look at it.
That’s why your ever vigilant blogger is so late posting her latest vigilant post today. If my ever vigilant readers are worried, I want to vigilantly reassure them that I am going to be okay.
As ever, I will be vigilant about including other photos I took yesterday (in ever-vigilant chronological order):
That ever vigilant teabag is reminding us that love has no fear and no vengeance. With all the fearful things I’ve been dealing with lately, I LOVE that reminder.
I am ever vigilant to look for music that fits my daily blog posts. Since I’ve been “talking about my troubles” with blood, sweat, and tears lately, how about this?
I am ever vigilant to remember to thank those who help me create my posts (including my talented sister Ellen) and also you — of course! — for being vigilant enough to be here, now.
Today, I’m writing another post about a development that seems too weird/unlucky/odd/scary/infuriating/ distressing/unfair/sucky/ridiculous to be true.
Yesterday, I got a voicemail message from one of my too good to be true cardiologists, Dr. Mark Estes, requesting that I call him as soon as possible on his cell phone. This seemed too unusual to be true, since I’ve never gotten a message like that during all the decades of my working with Dr. Estes.
When I called Dr. Estes, he picked up immediately and told me this, which seemed too bizarre to be true:
Ann, St. Jude, the manufacturer of your pacemaker/defibrillator, which we implanted in you a year ago May, has informed us that your device can suddenly and prematurely completely lose battery power. We are informing all those patients with the device. You are one of seven patients we have who are completely dependent upon your ICD, so I am recommending that you have surgery to have the device replaced within the next two weeks.
I was too shocked by this unexpected news to believe it was true, but Dr. Estes did his too-calm-to-be-true best to clarify the situation, accept my reactions, and continue to push for surgery as soon as possible. It’s true that I was initially reluctant to agree to another surgery so soon, especially since my sternum/chest still feels too painful and tender to be true, three and a half weeks after my valve replacement surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Dr. Estes was too empathic and reassuring to be true, as he explained that the device replacement surgery would be day surgery and minor enough to allow me to resume my normal (?) activities a day later.
Dr. Estes suggested that I think about this too-strange-to-be-true development for a few days, while he informed my other too-good-to-be-true Boston-based medical team members about this new and too-ridiculous-to-be-true truth.
I hung up the phone and informed my boyfriend Michael and my ex-husband Leon (who had just driven me home from another one of my too-frequent-to-be-true medical appointments) about this too-absurd-to-be-true necessity for me to undergo another too-soon-to-be true surgical procedure. Michael and Leon are too-friendly-with-each-other-to-be-true, considering the complicated history there, and they were both immediately too-sympathetic-to-be-true about this unexpected turn of events for me.
Then, I wrote a too-stunned-to-be-true post on my Facebook page, as follows:
Just found out that my pacemaker/defibrillator is being recalled and my doctors want me to have it replaced within the next two weeks. What kind of hashtag should I use for this news?
Here are the too-quick-and-empathic-to-be-true hashtag suggestions I got:
#defibrilatethis
#wtdf
#ohsh*t
#oyvey
#SMDH
#sucks
#thatispoop
#holyshit!
#unfairperiod
#annisnotaguineapig
#WTF?!
#gimmieabreak
#showmethemoney
#you’vegottobekidding
#It’sAlwaysSomething
#shoulda put in a zipper
#IWillSurvive
#areyoukidding
#speechless
Here was my too personal to be true suggestion for a hashtag about my too freaky to be true situation:
#INeedMyOwnTelethon
My ex-student, Chris, was my too-clever-to-be-true Facebook friend who came up with the too musical to be true hashtag above (here on too-popular-to-be-true YouTube):
Here are the too-happy-to-be-true photographs I took yesterday at Mount Auburn Hospital (where I was registering for the too-awesome-to-be-true cardiac rehab program there), before I got the too-infuriating-to-be-true news from Dr. Estes:
And here’s the too-delicious-to-be-true meal my boyfriend Michael cooked for me, last night, after I got the too-overwhelming-to-be-true phone call from Dr. Estes:
Because I am having trouble sleeping tonight because of this too-outrageous-to-be-true need for more surgery so soon after my September 21 valve replacement, I just sent this email to my too-great-to-be-true Boston-based medical team:
Hi all,
Dr. Estes tells me that he recommends replacing my recalled St. Jude ICD within the next two weeks. I would like to comply with his recommendation but also feel the need to say these things:
My chest is still soooooo sore from the open heart surgery that the thought of another surgical violation, no matter how small, seems quite daunting to me.
I would like Dr. Carol Warnes and Dr. Joseph Dearani from Mayo to be informed and included in this decision process. Even though I understand that too many medical cooks can sometimes spoil the broth, adding the ingredients of their participation would help me feel better about moving forward with the plan.
Now that I have communicated these thoughts to my trusted Tufts team, I believe I can go back to the process of healing from the major surgery I so recently underwent.
As always, I am eager to hear any thoughts you want to share as we move forward.
All the best,
Ann
It would be too awesome to be true if you could leave a comment about this Too ____ To Be True post, below.
I am too grateful to all those who helped me create this too-whatever-to-be-true post and to you — of course! — for reading it. And in case you were wondering, it’s all true!
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 