Posts Tagged With: saying “goodbye”

Day 685: No matter where you go, there you are

I first heard the sentence

No matter where you go, there you are

in the movie Buckaroo Banzai (which has a longer official title, which I’m not going to look up right now, because I have other places to go).

Let’s see if I can find that quote from Buckaroo Banzai on YouTube:

Not only did I find that clip on YouTube, I discovered that lots of other people around the world love that quote and that movie.   That clip also includes other quotes I like:

Is someone out there not having a good time?

Is somebody crying, out there, in the darkness?

What’s your name?  Who cares?  I care.

Don’t be mean.  We don’t have to be mean.

Anyway, it’s time for us rejoin the adventures of Ann Koplow across the nth dimension (where “n” = how many dimensions you think there are, in this universe).

Today, I am going to Worcester, with my friend Peggy (not Penny), to see Pat Metheny and his Unity Band/Group (which includes Antonio Sanchez, who did the amazing drum score for the movie Birdman) (and if you want to find out more about that score, you could click that link, y’know).

Where am I seeing Pat Metheny and his Unity Group/Band, tonight?


800px-Hanover_Theatre_Interior (1)

I found both those photos of the Hanover Theater on the Wikipedia website.  The second photo shows the seats I occupied when I watched the “So You Think You Can Dance” tour recently (described here and here).

No matter when I go to the Hanover Theater, there I am.

Yesterday, I went some other places, and there I was.

IMG_2199 IMG_2201 IMG_2202 IMG_2205 IMG_2209 IMG_2210 IMG_2211 IMG_2213

I was stuck in traffic as I tried to make my way to Fenway Studios to say goodbye to my long-time friend and artist extraordinaire, Paul Nagano, who is leaving the Boston area to move to Hawaii.

I finally found a legal, free parking space (!!!!) and there I was, at Fenway Studios:

IMG_2214 IMG_2215 IMG_2216

…  where I saw my old, beloved business partner (and longer-time friend), Jonathan Stark, and his lovely wife, Jen.


Before I took this picture, I told Jen that I loved her jacket. When I asked if I could include their picture in this blog, Jonathan said, “Yes, but only if you say that my jacket is fabulous, too.” (Jonathan and I worked together, for many years in the 1980’s and 1990’s, creating marketing and advertising materials, including print ads and promotional videos. One of the secrets to our success was to listen to and respect each other’s wishes.) (So there you go, Jonathan.)

I took a few more photos at Fenway Studios, yesterday:

IMG_2219 IMG_2220

… but I didn’t get to spend much time with Paul and his amazing artwork.  Therefore, I am going back there, today, before I head out to Worcester later.

Now, let’s see if everybody has been paying attention. How would you complete this sentence?  “No matter where you go ….”


And here’s another question. Are you going with me?

(You can go here to find Pat Metheny and The Metropole Orchestra playing “Are You Going With Me?” in the Netherlands. No matter where Pat goes, there he is.)

Thanks to Buckaroo, Penny, Peggy, Pat, Antonio, Paul, Jonathan, Jen, Birdmen, cats, musicians, artists, and everybody else who ever goes anywhere, including you (of course!).

Categories: friendship, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Day 676: Colors

Several years ago, I went into a store in the Boston area and noticed that people from a local radio station were there. One of the DJs announced to the shoppers:

A prize to the first person who can come up with eight musical groups with a color in the band’s name!

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this in any of my previous colorful or non-colorful blog posts, but I love

  • CONTESTS and

I wonder if people who are reading this know that about me, or whether they are finding this out for the first time, much like I discovered, just now, that I can use colored letters in WordPress.

Anyway, the radio guy in the store announced that contest, and my mind went to work.

I now interrupt this story to bring you this question:

What band names, with colors in them, can you think of, right now?

While you’re thinking of those, here’s some mood music, brought to you this morning from high (or medium) atop the Koplow Family & Friends Building in beautiful suburban Boston:

(YouTube video of Duke Ellington‘s “Mood Indigo” found here)

And in case you prefer a different kind of music, here’s another tune, with the same color in the title:

(I found “Indigo Passion” by the Atlanta Rhythm Section on YouTube, in this video created by DJ Bayonic)

Okay, ladies and gentleman! For my listening and viewing pleasure, please place your colorful, musical names in the comment section, directly below this post.

For your listening and viewing pleasure, here are the band names I came up with, back then:








Green Day

Simply Red


Black Sabbath

Deep Purple

Pink Floyd

The Moody Blues

Blue Cheer

I remember the radio D.J. doubting “Blue Cheer” as a real band name, but I must have convinced him (without anybody having access to the internet, back then), because:


Like I said, I love winning.

And I love colorful things, including these:


and these:

IMG_1809… which are the “Coping and Healing” group handout folders, that people get to choose from, before they join my therapy groups.

I also love shades of grey (which is an antidote to the unhelpful cognitive distortion of Black-and-White Thinking), as you can see by this still life in my office:


I like to point out the ever-present box of tissues to people in individual and group therapy, to let them know that all feelings are welcome. I like to point out that clock, too.

Speaking of feelings, time, color, and art, yesterday I got this email from my long-time friend and amazing artist Paul Nagano (previously appearing in posts here and here):

Dear Friends:                                

                    THE FINAL
                               OPEN STUDIO  
                 of PAUL NAGANO in Boston
Saturday and Sunday —     Nov. 15 and 16        11am to 5pm
                 This is a 
                             CLEARANCE SALE 
               because I will be leaving Boston and moving to Honolulu on December 19.
art, frames, books, art materials, objects, kitchen utensils, tools, 
even a few pieces of furniture  —  will be available for sale.
You will also be able to view the original of my magnum opus from this past summer–
“PARINIRVANA in the Great Garden” —
 I look forward to seeing you for a fond farewell.
Please, as always, bring some canned goods or other non-perishable food items
to benefit our Annual Food Drive for the GREATER BOSTON FOOD BANK.

P a u l — (after 47 years, leaving Boston on Dec. 19, to live in Hawaii 

                       …..and…….    arriving    there     on     Dec. 22)


In response, I sent Paul this one-word email (even though I knew this move was coming):



and Paul replied:


Remember, Ann, CHANGE is GOOD!  –even when it’s bad, and a little sad.

I’m going to let Paul have the last words, today, except for these:
Categories: inspiration, Nostalgia, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

Day 648: The Goodbye Look

Four Hundred and Forty-Two days ago, I wrote a post called “Looks.”

Today I’m writing about a specific kind of look: The Goodbye Look.

But what IS The Goodbye Look?

Do you have any guesses about that (and about where this post is going)?

(At this point, your guesses might be as good as mine.)

For one thing, “The Goodbye Look” is a song by Donald Fagen from his first solo album, 1982’s The Nightfly:

(YouTube video of “The Goodbye Look” found here)

Yesterday, I gave and received many looks throughout the day, including some Goodbye Looks (although, I certainly hope, NOT the kind Donald Fagen is singing about in that song).

Why were there so many Goodbye Looks yesterday?

Two people I know are leaving the hospital where I work. One of them is Melvin (looking like this in yesterday’s post):


Here’s another look from Melvin, when he and I were talking about saying “Goodbye.”


Also, there was a farewell party for a very talented, skilled, committed, and friendly co-worker, named Brigitte.  I didn’t get a shot of Brigitte, but I captured these Goodbye Looks on other people:

IMG_0549 IMG_0552

In the first picture, you’re looking at Kathy, Mark, and Terry (left to right). I was especially glad to look at Mona (in the second picture), since she and I had exchanged Goodbye Looks a while ago. Isn’t that great that Mona’s outfit says “Hello”?

Something else I looked at, yesterday, was a message from WordPress, in response to my question to support people here:

An easy way to free up storage space for my photos in the media library?

That plea, from me, was a reflection of concerns that:

  • readers might give The Goodbye Look to my posts if they take too long to read and
  • there might be goodbye looks regarding my storage in various locations, because of how much friggin’ space my photos take up.

Give a look to WordPress’s return message (which I inadvertently gave The Goodbye Look to yesterday) (in other words, I mistakenly put it in The Trash):

Hi Ann,

There isn’t a bulk action to adjust those photos. Changing your photo sizes is a good idea, however. I did take a look at the first few photos in your library and noticed that they had files sizes and dimensions in common:

File size: 2 MB Dimensions: 2448 × 3264px

This is far larger than you’ll need on your site.

Your theme, Adventure Journal, has a main column constraint of 690px in the 2-column layout you’re using. If you can adjust your photos accordingly from now on, you’ll extend the usage of your space upgrade greatly.

If you don’t have photo editing software on your computer, you could use a free one such as You’d simply upload your image, select Resize, make sure you have “constrain proportions” selected, change the width to 690px, and save the image to your desktop. Then you can upload it to Your photo sizes will much smaller.

Unfortunately, you will have to adjust those older photos manually.

I took the liberty of opening this one by opening the photo from your Media Library, and clicking Edit Image:
The file was originially 2 MB and 2448 x 3264. I scaled the image to 690 x 920px. Now the image takes up 171 KB space.

I hope this helps. If I can address any other concerns or questions, please let me know. Cheers!

Words I liked looking at there included:

  • “Hi Ann,”
  • “free”
  • “simply””
  • “If I can address other concerns or questions, please let me know,” and
  • “Cheers!”

Words in that message I’d prefer unseeing included “unfortunately” and all the other ones implying  I have a lot of work ahead of me, resizing all the kashmillion photos I’ve posted here since January 1, 2013.

Well, at least I’m looking at a three-day weekend, starting tomorrow.

Speaking of my photos taking up too much space, sometimes I fear I’ll get The Goodbye Look from people if I, personally, take up too much space.  Coincidentally, somebody in one of my therapy groups yesterday was looking at something similar:


As you give whatever look you’re giving to that photo (which is taking up lots of space),  you might assume the word “frggin” came from me.  It didn’t!

What that woman said yesterday, in yesterday’s therapy group, is giving me the courage to post more photos (taking too much space) of other recent goodbye (and other) looks.

IMG_0492 IMG_0496 IMG_0507 IMG_0532 IMG_0538

IMG_0540 IMG_0545 IMG_0546 IMG_0547 IMG_0559 IMG_0565 IMG_0567

After all, we’ve all survived my photos taking up too much space here (so far)!

Preparing to give The Goodbye Look to this post just now, I said “Goodbye” to my 16-year-old son, Aaron (who’ll be spending the three-day weekend away, with his father):

Me: I’m giving you “The Goodbye Look.”

Aaron: The Goodbye Look?

Me: Remember that song by Donald Fagen? It’s not that kind of look, obviously.

Aaron: That’s good.

Thanks to Aaron, Donald Fagen, Melvin, Brigitte, Kathy, Mark, Terry, Mona, Mohammed and Winston (who work at the place I park my car), cupcakes and pets waiting to get The Hello Look, the construction guy (who said, “I hope I didn’t break your camera”), Jackie, Ted Williams, David Ortiz, people working in groups, and everybody, everywhere, giving looks and taking up space today — including you!

Categories: blogging, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 21 Comments

647: Reflection

The title of today’s post (in case you didn’t notice) is “Reflection.”

Exactly 104 days ago (but who’s counting?), I wrote a post with the title “Reflections”.

Here’s a definition of the word  “reflection,” (according to



: an image that is seen in a mirror or on a shiny surface

: something that shows the effect, existence, or character of something else

: something that causes people to disapprove of a person or thing

WHAT?!?!  I will reflect something with you now: I disapprove of that last definition. I have never heard such a judgmental, negative description of “reflection” before!

My understanding of “reflection”  is that it’s a neutral word.  If we reflect negatively or disapprovingly, that’s our choice (and not intrinsic in the word itself).

Rather than reflect further on what Merriam Webster could possibly have been thinking there, I shall try another dictionary site. How about

[ri-flek-shuh n]
Synonyms Examples Word Origin
1. the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected.
2. an image; representation; counterpart.
3. a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.
4. a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.
5. an unfavorable remark or observation.
6. the casting of some imputation or reproach.
7. Physics, Optics.
the return of light, heat, sound, etc., after striking a surface.
something so reflected, as heat or especially light.


#5 and #6, at, are negative, too!

Honestly, I am shocked. Throughout my life, I have been assuming that “reflection” does not imply anything negative, by itself.

I’m reflecting, now, whether I’ve been naive and in denial, all this time.

Or, perhaps, the definition of “reflection” has changed in my lifetime. That can happen, you know.  Any language, including English,  can shift and change (even though we may not want it to).

If the definition of “reflection” has changed — since I first learned it — to a more judgmental one, I’m reflecting  that might have happened during the time I’ve been working on letting go of judgment (here and elsewhere).

Another reflection, from me: that would be ironic.

I am going to re-reflect a definition, one more time, to see if it reflects my own experience of “reflection.”

Here’s the definition reflecting from Google, right now:


1. the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.
“the reflection of light”
synonyms: sending back, throwing back, casting back
“the reflection of light”

2.  serious thought or consideration.
“he doesn’t get much time for reflection”
synonyms: thought, thinking, consideration, contemplation, deliberation, pondering, meditation, musing, rumination; formal cogitation
“after some reflection, he turned it down”


I’ll reflect this:  I like that definition MUCH better. The last line DOES reflect somebody responding in the negative.  However, as I’ve discussed with people many times, turning down something — saying “NO!” — is often a healthy expression of setting limits and honoring the importance of your own needs and preferences.

Okay! Now that I’ve found a definition that reflects my preferences, what else can this post reflect back at you?

Here are some recent photos that reflect today’s topic (in order of their reflections in my retina and my iPhone).


IMG_0404 IMG_0415  IMG_0461

That last photo shows a reflection of Melvin, who is leaving Starbucks and the state of Massachusetts today. I’ve been reflecting this to him, since I found out he was leaving: I’m going to miss him.

Melvin may not like that reflection when he sees it,  and he might ask me to remove that photo from this post.

Why? Because nobody seems to like the photos I take of them! Do you think that’s a reflection of

  • my photos or
  • something else?


IMG_0175 *

Melvin lets me keep that photo in this post.

Because, if he does, that’s


Thanks to all reflections in this post and — of course! — to you, for reflecting with me, here today.

* Last week, I wrote about that pink sign on a door at work, and we reflected here that it might say “hope” OR “nope.” I promised I would check the other side, and reflect that back to you in a future post.

Ooops!  I could have sworn I reflected the other side of that sign onto my iPhone camera, but I can’t find it anywhere.

You’ll just have to trust this reflection: The other side was blank.

Any reflections on that?

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , | 23 Comments

Day 587: It’s Been Real

(opening music video found here, on YouTube)

“It’s Been Real” is a way people say “Goodbye.”

Is that a particularly American way people say “Goodbye”?  Is it a sarcastic way?  Is it a cool way? Is it a way to — even unconsciously — acknowledge that being real with each other, during any encounter, seems important?

Sometimes I wonder whether my personal interpretations and experiences match other people’s.  Therefore, I just googled “It’s Been Real” and found this:

it’s been real 
A farewell greeting, but with a negative connotation. The speaker is usually disappointed or annoyed at the person to whom (s)he is speaking.
It’s been real. Have a nice life.

Aha!  Urban Dictionary thinks that it’s a particularly negative way to say “Goodbye.” However, I’m not sure if I want Urban Dictionary to be the final authority. After all, Urban Dictionary also says that “It’s been real” is “a farewell greeting,” which seems like an oxymoron, to me.

Let’s see what Yahoo Answers has to say about “It’s been real.”

What does “It’s Been Real” mean?   When you hang out with someone and they say this to you as you’re saying goodbye, what does this mean? Positive/negative connotation?

While that reminds me of All-or-Nothing thinking (judging something as either all positive OR all negative, with no shadings in between) … I still think it’s a good question.

And here is the “best answer”:

It’s positive. It means the time you spent together was genuine, without pretentiousness or egoism.

Wow. That’s confusing.  The first two definitions I find, through Google, are completely contradictory.

I’ll try a third  definition, as a tie-breaker.

Hmmmm. I don’t know if Slang Dictionary — which is the third and final entry coming up for me in Google —  is really going to help much. That says:

It’s been fun, nice

… with no other explanation or connotation, except for this mysterious line:

See also: I don’t know who is fucking skinning this cat, but I’m getting scratched.

Okay. Now my mind is totally blown, and I’m not sure HOW I’m going to finish this post.

There ARE some things I want to tell you, this morning:

  1. Today is the last day of my son Aaron’s appearances as John Wilkes Booth in the Sondheim musical Assassins. (For more about that, see yesterday’s post.)
  2. In less than a week, Aaron and I are boarding a plane to Edinburgh, Scotland, for wee-bit-less-than-a-complete-week of fun at the Fringe Festival.
  3. I love a good pun as much as anybody, and I remember seeing a great pun in Edinburgh, when my son and I were at the Fringe Festival last August.


So what’s the connection? What’s my point, if I do have one?

Just this.  I see a lot of farewell greetings coming up, in the near future.

Thanks to Michael Brecker (for “Itsbynne Reel“), to Edinburgh Scotland, to anyone I’ve ever greeted or farewelled, to those who do their best to define terms, to people who make a real effort to say hello or goodbye, and — of course!  — to you, for reeling by here today.  It’s been real.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , | 46 Comments

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